I DON'T OWN THE TWILIGHT SAGA! SM DOES AND I JUST PLAY IN HER WORLD!!!

Chapter 5: Bonding Time With The Emo Vampire and The Grizzly Bear

I woke up happy from last night. The only downside was that Edward and Bella were on worst terms than before, I think.

"Dad, I had so much fun!" Nessie chimed.

"I'm glad you girls did," he said. He pulled up onto the driveway and opened the door for us.

"Keep the dresses," he said.

"Who said we were going to return it?" I asked. Nessie laughed.

"You are still the same little devil," he said. I laughed and walked with Nessie to the front door.

Bella was pacing in front of the door, on the front porch.

"Renesmee, Melony!" she yelled. She ran towards us and wrapped us in a hug.

"Mom, calm down," Renesmee said. "We were at dinner with Dad. He took us all over and we hung out all day. It was so much fun!"

"And neither of you even thought to call me to tell me where you were?" she said.

"Sorry, Bella," I said. "We didn't think we had to."

"Bella, don't be mad at them," Edward said. "It was my fault. I called them, and failed to call you as well to tell you. I should have called seeing as you are they're guardian. It was my fault."

"You're damn right it's your fault!" she yelled. "How could you just take them? You may be their father, but you were barely here! I was here! How could you be so irresponsible and reckless?!"

"Mom!" Nessie cried at the same time I said, "Bella!"

"I know," Edward said. "I'm sorry." She frowned, mad that he wasn't arguing, I guess.

"Sorry?" she asked. "Sorry is all you have to say?"

"Um . . . I'm very sorry? What do you want me say? They're my daughters, and now I finally have them both. You want me to never see them again? I'm sorry, Bella, but I can't do that."

"Well, I'd like for you to tell me when you're going kidnap my daughters."

He crossed his arms. "They're my daughters, too."

"Yes, well, as you said I am their guardian. I have a right to know and I will know, or I might just take you up on that offer. Now Good Night!" With that she stormed inside, with Nessie following her.

I gave my dad a quick hug before turning to run inside.

Now, I think they were worst than they had been. I could see it in my dad's eyes that he still loved Bella with all his heart and she loved him, but Bella was stubborn and would not let him in that easily.

I got out of bed and went to the hall. Then I smelt pancakes. Pancakes means Pajama Day! I ran downstairs and saw Renesmee already sitting at the counter. Bella was behind it with a whole plate of pancakes. I hopped onto one of the stools and rubbed my hands together. She put a plate in front of me and Nessie. I picked up the fork and took a bite. I savored the sweet taste of the syrup on the light, fluffy cake.

"Yum!" I said with a grin. "So, what's all this for?"

"Nothing," Bella answered quickly, much too quickly. I raised an eye brow at her. "Okay, well, I just wanted to say sorry for getting all mad the other night."

"Mom, it's okay," Nessie said. "We get why you did it. It's just we didn't think it was such a big deal, is all."

She nodded. "Yeah, okay. I guess it wasn't that big. Maybe I was just letting my emotions get the best of me. If you guys want to go over there, today, you can."

Ness and I exchanged a glance. Perfect.

"Yeah, we'd love that," Nessie said. I finished my pancakes and Bella took my plate. I went upstairs to change into some clothes.

I decided on a black and white striped shirt and black leggings with black flats. I walked downstairs where Bella was sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels. Nessie was playing the piano.

"Ready?" Bella asked. I nodded. Nessie came out from the room with the piano.

We got into the car and drove to the white mansion. Alice answered the door; she didn't look surprised to see us.

"Hey, guys!" she chirped.

"Hey, Ali," I said. She moved aside and we walked in.

"I'll be back later to pick them up," Bella said.

"Are you sure? You can stay if you'd like."

"No, really, it's fine." With that, she left.

"Bella's still uncomfortable," Nessie said. Alice nodded sadly, but then got her perk back up.

"So, what we going to do?" she asked.

"Are Emmett and Jasper here?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Is Dad?"

She nodded again. "OH! Oh, yes. It's so going to happen. Let's go get them."

"What are we doing?" Nessie asked.

"We're going to play a prank on 'ol Father dear," I told her. We skipped up the stairs behind Alice. Emmett and Jasper were in Alice's room.

"Hey, girlies, who seemed to have picked up on Alice's fashion obsession," Emmett said.

"What's up?" Jasper asked.

"We want to play a prank on Father Dearest," I said. "Do you think you can handle it?"

"Oh, we can handle it," Emmett said with a smirk. "Do you really need to ask that?"

"Seriously, we convinced Edward you were dead with no possible reason," Jasper added. "He just thought you were dead."

"So, what are we going to do?" Nessie asked.

"Woah, woah, woah," Emmett said. "You're a newbie to Jasper and Emmett's prank, sweetpea. They are cruel, but funny, so you'll need to learn the ropes."

"I know," she said kind of smugly. "We've pulled our fair share of pranks."

"I taught her everything I knew, which I learned from the masters themselves," I added.

"Okay, well, we could convince him you're both pregnant," Emmett suggested. "But, you have to hide it in your thoughts."

We all nodded, understanding.

"First, Alice do you think you could . . . work your magic?" Jasper asked.

"Definitely," she said. "I could make it look like they're pregnant in one hour while you guys set the rest up. I'll go shopping right now!" With that she left the room. I heard the door shut.

"Okay, you two need to feign morning sickness," Emmett said. "I'll get all those pregnancy books Rosie always reads." He left the room and came back in three seconds.

"Here. It says that pregnant women go through mood swings and morning sickness."

"We can do that," Nessie said.

"Child's play," I added. "We did that so many times to stay home from school. Bella never even suspected that we were faking for one second even with heightened senses."

"Nice, squirt!" Emmett said. He gave me a high-five.

"Okay, we need to make you look clammy and sick," Jasper said. He got Alice's make-up kit from her drawer.

"Yeah, it says that you may have bags under your eyes and you are very needy with everything," Emmett said, reading from the book. "Dang! I don't see why Rose wants to be like this so much!"

"She just wants kids," I said. "I'm sure she wouldn't want to have to be pregnant, though, since you lose your figure."

"What? Is she crazy? Nuh uh! Never! Not at all! If she wants kids, we'll adopt! We can adopt a newborn baby if she wants! It's not like we have to sleep anyway."

Nessie and I both laughed.

"Okay, here," Jasper said. He put purple eye shadow under our eyes. "This will make you look like you haven't slept in a while. This will make you look and feel clammy and sweaty." he put white eye shadow all over our face and sprayed us with a water bottle.

I looked in the mirror and nearly screamed. Jasper did wonders us in just a few minutes while Alice would take a few hours, maybe even a few days. We looked really good, I mean bad, but it was a good job looking bad. If that makes any sense at all. Alice had the make-up that was water-proof, though I have no idea why since vampires can't cry or sweat. Alice walked in the room with a shopping bag in each hand and screamed. It was one of those screams they use in movies and cartoons to mark something scary or hideous.

"I'm sorry!" she said. "I barely recognized you as my unnaturally beautiful nieces. Jasper, honey, why didn't you ever tell me you had this kind of skill?"

"Alice, it's not skill," he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "I just wiped the brush a few times under their eyes and used the brush for the blush for their faces. Then I sprayed them with this water." He held up the bottle he used.

"Wow! Either way, you are good! It really looks like they're pregnant! Here are the pregnant outfits. They are specially designed for teens to make them realize the burden of being pregnant." She pulled out a shirt for both of us.

We went into the closet with the shirts, along with some pregnant pants, and changed. When we looked in the mirror, I was shocked. I really looked pregnant.

"Who knocked you up?" Emmett asked.

I smacked him in the back of the head.

"Hey! You can't do that! I'm you're uncle!"

"And I'm a legal adult and pregnant, so you can't hit me back. Nor can you tackle me and start wrestling like we used to do the way Daddy disapproved of so many times."

He laughed and ruffled my hair. "Still the same, squirt, still the same."

"Perfect, Emmett!" Nessie cried. "Mess up my hair, too. It'll make it look more real!"

He ruffled her hair until it was completely messy. He did the same to me.

"I have the perfect nickname for you!" he yelled. "Kiddo! That's it, kiddo. That's your nickname and Mel's is Squirt."

"Gee, thanks, Uncle Emmett," she said sarcastically.

"Don't call us Aunt or Uncle. It makes us sound old."

"Alright, so let's get this show on the road," Jasper said. "When we do pranks here, we improvise. Just follow my lead." He went downstairs and Nessie and I walked as if we were pregnant.

"Edward!" Jasper yelled. "Get your daughters! I can't deal with them anymore!"

"Jasper, they're your nieces," Edward said. "Oh my--- what the hell?"

"Hey, Edward," I said. Nessie waved.

"What the--- if this is a prank . . ."

"You think . . . me and . . . Mel being . . . pregnant is a . . . prank?" Nessie sobbed. She started crying.

"I just got her to stop crying!" Jasper yelled. "Thanks a lot, Edward! What kind of father are you? Making your kid cry while she's pregnant!"

"Jasper, I-- I just," he stammered.

"Dad, can you order me an extra large pizza with pepperoni, extra cheese, onions, pickles, jalapenos, and celery?" I asked.

"What? Why would you want that? I'm a vampire, but that still doesn't sound like something a human would eat. Is this a joke?"

I could feel myself getting angry. "Joke? You think this is a damn joke? What the hell? I can't believe you! I am freaking pregnant and you think this is a joke!"

"Stop . . . yelling at . . . each other," Nessie sobbed. "We're supposed to . . . be family! I want my Jacob!" She continued crying.

"I want my Cole!" I yelled. We hugged each other and cried in each other's arms.

"Alice, dear, will you please?" Jasper called.

"Yes, Jazzy," Alice said, flitting down the stairs. "Oh dear. They're crying again. Hey, girls, what do you need?"

"Cole!" I yelled at the same time Nessie yelled, "Jacob!"

Then I could feel myself getting happy.

"On second thought, no thanks," I said. "Daddy, will you buy me a car?"

"Uh . . . uh . . . I don't think so," he said. He looked so pathetic, unsure what to do as his daughters stand before him, pregnant. Plus, this is the first time he's heard of it.

"Why not?" I yelled. "I bet if Nessie asked you would do it in a flash. Is it because you like her better? Or maybe you loved her mom more than mine? Well, that's just fine with me! I'll run away! I'm rich! I have money!"

"Edward, buy her a car," Jasper pleaded. "It will make her feel better. Please. We can't have her run away in her condition."

"Okay, um . . . what kind of car do you want, baby?" he asked.

"How come she gets a new car?" Nessie yelled. "You like her better than me! You think she's more special! It's because of her power isn't it?"

"You can both get new cars," Alice said. She looked at Edward.

"Yeah, what kind of cars do you want?" he asked.

Nessie and I exchanged a glance.

"We want an RV and a mini van!" I yelled.

"What?" he yelled. "How about a Volvo or a Porsche?"

"That's not safe for the baby," Nessie said rubbing her stomach and talking to it soothingly.

"Who's the father anyway?" Emmett asked. He had just come down.

"Cole," I said.

"I'm not really sure," Nessie said. "I slept with a lot of guys before I found out."

"What?" Edward said. I hoped he didn't have a vampire heart-attack.

"Yeah, like Seth, Jacob, Emmett, Embry."

"You weren't supposed to tell that, Ness!" Emmett yelled. Edward was horror-stricken.

"Did you sleep with Cole?" I asked.

"I tried, but he was too in love with you," she said. She said it mockingly.

"You bitch!" I yelled. I faked an almost attack, but Jasper fake held me back. I mouthed to Nessie what to do.

Edward looked completely panicked, unsure what to do.

I mouthed, "1 . . . 2 . . . 3." Then Jasper let go of me and we walked towards each other. We took off our shirts since we had t-shirts under them, held our hands up with each other as if we were in a final performance, and grinned as wide as possible.

"Ta Da!" we both yelled.

"You didn't?" Edward said.

"Oh, but we did, Father," Nessie said, still grinning.

Edward looked at Jasper and Emmett who were grinning. They knew how this went. Edward growled and chased Jasper and Emmett all through the house; they laughed like maniacs.

"It was Melony's idea to pull the prank!" Emmett yelled as Edward threw a glass vase at his head.

"Who's idea was it to feign pregnancy?" Edward asked as he crouched in front of them. They were backed against a wall with their hands up, Edward just a few feet away from them.

"Emmett!" Jasper yelled at the same time Emmett yelled, "Jasper!"

"What? It was your damn idea!" Jasper yelled. Edward snarled and lunged.

They jumped out of the way and ran behind us. Jasper was behind Nessie and Emmett behind me since Edward was more likely to attack him and less likely to attack me. These guys, though idiots, were sometimes very smart.

"Edward, come on!" Emmett pleaded. "It was a joke! You wouldn't attack your dear Melony, would you?"

"Yeah, or your darling Renesmee," Jasper added.

"Dad, it was my idea," I said. "I suggested we play a prank, and we both agreed with it."

"Alice was in on it, too!" Emmett added.

"Snitch!" Alice called from the stairs.

"Sorry, when Edward is about to kill us because of a prank it's every man for himself," Emmett apologized. Jasper nodded in agreement.

Edward narrowed his eyes. "I'll let you off the hook this time because of my daughters, but next time I will rip you apart into a jigsaw puzzle and leave you to put yourselves back together."

Nessie and I both ran up to hug him. As soon as they're only protection was gone, Jasper and Emmett bolted for the stairs, fighting each other to get up there first. They were such kids.

"Thanks, Daddy!" I said.

"Yeah, thanks, Dad," Nessie chimed, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"No problem, girls," he said.

"You're going to get them when we're gone aren't you?" I asked.

"You know it, baby," he said.

Nessie and I started to walk upstairs, arms hooked together.

"Wow, they were lucky," Nessie said.

"Don't think this was a rare thing," I explained. "He usually doesn't destroy them right there. When I was little, they always hid behind me. Then Edward would say he won't do it because of his daughter. But when I went to bed, he would dismantle them or throw them to Paris. They would be back by the time I woke up in the morning with a gift from Paris. I was obsessed by that place when I was younger. I've always wanted to go."

She nodded. "Oh, wow. I wonder how they'd survived all these years without your protection."

"That answer is elementary, my dear Nessie." I paused for dramatic effect. "They didn't."

AN

Here is the bonding time with Jasper (Emo) and Emmett (Grizzly)! Hoped you liked it. I have to say that it might have been the funniest chapter yet. I will have all the bonding with everyone as the next chapters. I hadn't planned it, actually. I just decided that why should Edward be the only one to bond with them. Plus, I already had the idea for this chapter in my head for them to come to the Cullens house and play a prank with Emmett and Jasper on Edward. The look on Edward's face: Priceless.

Live*Love*Review