I felt tears of frustration sting my eyes as I blinked them back.
"Calm down." Kisho said, a comforting hand now resting on my shoulder. "Breath! Just Breath." It was when he said this that I realised that I was holding my breath to stop the tears.
"I don't know who I am!" I shouted at him in fear and anger. "How can I possibly calm down?" Kisho grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down onto the bed. My eyes stared widely up at him and then swivelled to the first kind person I had met in this world. His golden eyes stared back at me, a calmness resonated there and flowed through me. "I can't remember anything before I met Mihawk."
"Ok." Kisho said calmly. "Now we know what you can remember let's attempt to remember something before then."
I sat in the infirmary for four hours trying desperately to remember something, anything from my past but I simply could not. The red haired pirates walked out of the infirmary looking perplexed. Mihawk did not leave the room, he stayed, waiting for the last pirate to close the door. As the door shut softly he stood up. He walked over to me and looked awkwardly down at me. Finally after shifting his feet uncomfortably for a while, waiting for me to speak, I suspected, he opened his arms up in a mechanical fashion and enveloped me in a very awkward hug.
"You already know who you are," He told me, his voice soothing as it rumbled through his chest. "You don't need a past to tell you who you are." He pulled away and stood up straight, he turned slightly to look at a tile on the other side of the room. "And if you forget who you are I can always tell you." He comically made a break for the exit and disappeared from view, leaving me alone. My night was spent having fast flicking visions almost constantly and by the first light of morning I was exhausted. During the night the lookout had announced that we were close to land, as he had in my vision and I was eager to leave the ship, if only so that I could be truly alone for a while.
When I felt well enough to stand up in the morning I made my way towards the main deck. The other pirates were still asleep and so I snuck away from the ship, eager to have my own space. The town we had landed at was a few houses short of a city. The high street snaked through the houses and pulled weary travellers into the very heart of the town, the bars. There was a circle of them, each competing with the other, offering things that were either untrue or just plain mad. 'Buy one get two free on alcoholic drinks', 'Free healthy meals', 'Free bed and breakfast'. I walked away from the bars once more and headed to a more isolated area.
The shops and houses gave way to trees and green grass, darkened by the shade of a nearby hill. My feet crunched as I walked through the trees. I stopped for a moment, resting slightly and as I did so I heard it. The crunching of feet and soft breathing. My body stiffened with fear. I felt my pockets, something I felt might have been a habit of mine in the other world. I wanted a communication device so that I could get help but there was none, my pockets were empty. My breathing sped up and I began walking quickly in the direction I was previously heading to. I knew that I needed to get back to the ship somehow but I was already lost in the labyrinth the trees had created. The fear was bubbling to an all time high and I could not help but begin to lose any helpful thought processes. My fight or flight response was arguing with itself, logic was clawing at me with blunt nails, telling me to turn around but my feet simply carried on, as though I no longer controlled them. My strides became longer, my breathing louder. The crunching behind me became more frequent and the breaths closer to me now. Suddenly the trees ended but, as abruptly as the trees had ended so hand the land. My body moved slowly forwards to look over the edge of the cliff face. Logic was mumbling angrily that I should have turned around before. The will in my feet was now gone and it left me feeling drained and scared. There was no sea below the cliff as there normally was, just large, angrily jagged rocks, which promised pain if I jumped down. The snapping of twigs behind me slowed down. I edged away from the sound into another entrance in the woods. I began to run hurriedly in any direction which offered more safety than my current one. I made it out of the forest and back into the town in less than ten minutes. I stopped, sighing with relief. The snapping of twigs stopped my excitement almost immediately. My body became routed to the spot. The sound slowly grew impossibly loud. Finally a small cat made its way out of the forest and hissed at me in annoyance as it made its way passed me. I laughed good naturedly, relieved to find that my paranoia was just that. However my happiness did not last long. I felt a knee hit me in my already sore ribs, as my body keeled over a foot smashed into my neck, knocking me out instantly.
I'm trying to finish this now I'm off for a few months. I hope I can stay with the same style that I had before but I may not be able to so I'm sorry if I can't.