Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Italics for thoughts (Edward can hear it if he's present)

Stages of forms

Tiger: first form (actual tiger)

Tigris: second form (were-tiger, like werewolves, larger than actual animal)

Taiga: third form (cat ears, tail, more tiger musculature, fur, full canines, paws)

Tigam: fourth form (half and half, humanoid form, light fur, tail, nearly full canines, paws)

Tegamen: fifth form (mostly humanoid, no fur, stripes marking the skin and claws and longer canines)

Higar: sixth form (human but with cat senses and scent, regeneration and able streak mind)

Human: seventh form (completely human)

Instinct

Chapter 13

Demetri and I walked in Esme's beautiful garden he was trying to tell me something but his words didn't seem to want to come out. I was attempting to be patient as we walked and ended up dancing in the rare sunlight that filled the back garden. It filtered through the trees streaming like spot lights as I twirled and moved following music that I couldn't quite hear.

The wind always makes music it's just a matter of finding a way to listen to the silent song. I liked to dance and stand braced in its glory. Demetri was too lost in his thoughts to join me in my dance. He too loved to play in the strong wind, though it was gently today. As if a slow dance played and the trees were swaying to it.

The Cullen's had left to hunt and it was only me and Demetri who were at home today. They would return in the early evening but for now we were on our own in their house. I think that was why Demetri chose to speak his thoughts to me now. He wanted privacy and I had suggested that we speak without words but he didn't wish too. This was important to him and this meant he would speak only when completely ready.

I heard a gentle mewling sound and walked towards it. A wolf cub was alone in the forest and I picked it up worried that the young one would be left for death. He was not weak, a mistake or a hunter perhaps. The cub looked at me with large eyes fearful.

"Have no worries from me, I would not harm a new life." I told him and began to hunt for the scent of his mother. Demetri watched me as I moved along the scent path and located the mother three miles out. I called to her and pushed the cub to her without getting too close and threatening her and her two other cubs. How odd for them to be alone. A mother without her pack is weak. I bowed to her and moved away.

"You may lose this with your choice." Demetri said and I looked at him. I would be with nature where ever the Cullen's went. They needed it as much as I. I looked at him confused and he smiled at me, it was sad and heavy.

"What is it that bothers you so?" I asked cupping his face in my hands as I leaned against his side.

"You will not have young, there will be no kittens from a vampire." He said and I stared at him. I was a child, I'm not ready to have young. I'm not even sure if I could handle raising a small one at any point in my life. But he was right I would not have a child with Edward.

"There have been stories." I said trying to rationalize why I suddenly wanted to have a child with Edward as soon as I realised that I couldn't.

"And perhaps there is merit to them. But you must not lean on them." He eyes told me this was what weighed him down so. We both knew I had always desired to have young. A single tear slid from my left eye as I accepted that it would never happen. If the myths had weight then it would be a blessing but if not then there's nothing I can do to change that. It may not even be possible for us to have children even if he could have with a human.

"It is a loss, but there is much still left to the future. I will not dwell on what I can not have and loose what I do have. May Bast and all those before us grant me this gift. But I will not let this hold me." I said my voice shaking just slightly. I had found the other half of myself but it is more than likely I will never have a child with him. Demetri held me to his chest. He too had lost his chance for children long ago. But he was strong enough to loose the clan in order to protect it. I was uncertain if I could bare such a loss.

No children no continuation of my blood. I would be the last of my father's line. It would be me and Demetri and should both of us pass it will be gone. My heart grieved for this and yet I could not give up Edward in order to have my line continue. I could not live without the man who saved me with no knowledge of the action he took. His family would be mine and they would be enough they had to be.

I let myself go and shifted to first form allowing my father's colours to comfort me. Demetri looked at me and sat with me as I stared out trying to let the children I would never have go. His hands ran through my fur and I purred content to have what I could. Know I love you. I mourn the children that might have been. But I love you and the possibility of this life with you and them. It is enough for me. I thought and Demetri nodded not commenting on the hopeful twist of my thoughts. I had to let go of it less I turn bitter at losses I have not suffered.

"I know it is not a loss you had considered. It is why I had to speak with you. I had to know if it was too much to loose for your other half." He said and I looked at him and sighed realising the sorrow that had filled me.

"Hey!" Emmet called as he looked between me and Demetri. I shook my head at his confused and amused expression. The clothing I had been wearing was in ripped shreds just behind where I lay with Demetri. "So this is you as a tiger Bella?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"It is." Demetri answered for me as I had no ability to tell him myself. He is amazed that I can shift and yet we told him. He is so childlike. I thought and heard a gasp from behind Emmet as Edward came into view staring at me. His gaze was confused and yet pleased.

"Bella, I heard your thoughts. Unless... did you speak?" he asked trying to clear his thoughts. I do not have vocal chords that would facilitate human speech Edward. So no I did not speak. I am a tiger. I replied and Demetri chuckled at Edward's astounded face. He came towards me slowly as if afraid to startle me. Edward stop being foolish and sit with me. I told him and he nodded moving to me quickly. "I can heard you. But not all that you think." He said astonishment clear in his voice and eyes. I suppose I forgot to inform you. It seems so obvious to me. In our many forms verbal communication can be difficult or all together impossible so we Tigers can speak mind to mind.

"I can hear her as you do. You gift could almost make you clan. Or a grave threat to it." Demetri said though it was clear he did not think of Edward as a threat he voiced his opinions openly. It showed a great respect for Edward that he did such a thing. Edward seemed confused for a moment but accepted it. As he reached out to pet me I lifted my head and rested it in his lap. Emmet looked highly amused and as the others came to the back garden the women held loving expressions and the boys with the exception of Carlisle looked amused.

That feels nice Edward. Could you scratch my shoulder though, my right? I asked and he chuckled and scratched and I leaned into him purring. Emmet and Jasper burst into laughter. Looking between the two I decided to shift to a vocal form and chose Tigam and they leaped back.

"What?" I asked turning in a circle, "Is there something in my fur?" I smiled cheekily at them and they looked startled and amused. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and I looked up into his face. So much had changed and yet it felt natural to be in his arms to live with his family, to attend high school and play human.

"You look lovely." He said and I twitched my tail and brushed it against the side of his face.

"Thank you. But is it because I am wearing little or because I'm yours?" I asked smirking at him as his mouth fell open. I turned and looked up at him. It was good I chose to be smaller than normal; it would be too odd to look down at Edward. Or even at eye level really, I liked that I fit into his arms.

"Your mine?" he asked finally putting the words together. I nodded smiling at him.

"There is no greater bond than the one we share." I said as I moved away from him and shifted to Higar not wanting to feel so human after being tiger. "For a Tiger a mate is matched by strengths they share. For us it was more, we are matched in essences." I moved into him and he wrapped his hands around the small of my back. "There is no other way that I would be alive now if we were not destined." I said pushing myself to my toes as I kissed him. His lips were cold as ice and nearly burned my own. It felt amazing and perfect.

"I love you." He said as he opened his eyes and gazed down at me, I could see his love.

I love you. I answered and let my love flow from my body to his and his heart sped and his eyes widened. Then his love poured out of him and mixed with mine as it pierced my body. I smiled and purred at him resting my face on his chest.

"That felt amazing." He whispered into my ear and I giggled.

"We may not vocalize our love but we share it well." Demetri commented and I chuckled, imagining how he might look right now as my head was turned away. Sure enough he was waggling his eyebrows and all.

"How is it that your outfit changed with you?" Carlisle asked and I smiled at him.

"They are the hide from a kill I made as a tiger that have been drenched in my own blood. They are connected to me and flow into my body as my shape changes to one no longer in need of leathers. Basically my fur flows over them they don't vanish you just can see or feel them." I said trying to think of a way to explain. "Ah I'll just show you." I said giving in. I shifted down to first form very slowly and between Tigam and Taiga the leathers vanished. Shifting to Higar again I stood and looked at him.

"I suppose that's the best answer you can give me." Carlisle said still contemplating what he had seen.

"The leather is not needed and responds to my body and is added to strengthen my skin. Make it harder to pierce. In higher forms modesty is more important than protection." I answered. "Most wars we fight as Tigris our strongest form." I said and Carlisle looked intrigued.

"Which form is the Tigris?" he asked as I sat down on the grass.

"The second form, the one after tiger." I answered as he sat looking intrigued and full of questions.

"How many forms are there?" he asked.

"Seven. First is tiger, Second is Tigris, Third is Taiga, fourth is Tigam, fifth is Tegamen, sixth is Higar and seventh is human." Said saving myself from just having to tell him in his next question.

"What is the significance of each form?" Jasper asked Alice sat in his arms. I noticed that the entire family had sat around and that we made a circle. I smiled and leaned into Edward's shoulder.

"We are born as tiger, it is the simplest and purest form. Tigris is a form like that which the spirited wolves here have, strong and meant to be a weapon." I said before Edward cut me off.

"A weapon?" he asked and I looked around they seemed confused by my comment.

"Tigers protect all that is. We act as balances, our numbers serve all that lives. It is the duty of all Tigers to act in the best of the mother. If we are too many, those of us ready, depart; if too small we kill that which is overbearing and destructive. Humans above all are what we try to guide and counsel." Demetri said stating old ways and high law. I smiled it would make more sense if he had said it plainly.

"Cats have always been connected to the earth, when the world is unbalanced we help to restore it. Humans are the newest children of the earth so they are sacred, almost." I said and then thought to amend, "Those that are good are to be helped at almost all costs." I finished, Tigers would not save a damned man at high personal costs but a child or an innocent most definitely.

"So you act as a balance. To vampires also?" Carlisle asked and I smiled.

"That is harder to explain. We would protect you and those like you that rise above your harsh situation. Or those that if offered would try to do so. But Aro and that lot if needed we would destroy. But only with cause." I answered and looked at Demetri.

"It is why I gave everything to join them and become like them." He answered his face unpleasant but not angry. "To know of their plans is a great asset to the Tigers." I nodded and hated it.

"To high a cost, dear uncle. Much too high." I sighed and he looked at me smiling, his fingers danced along the side of my face and I knew he was glad to have me as family. "Should I continue with the forms or do wish to know more of this?" I asked and Carlisle smile and nodded for me to continue. "Taiga and Tigam are forms used within the clan, we mostly like to be in the forms balanced between tiger and human. It is more peaceful for us to rest in middle from than an extreme end."

"Tegamen is the form most of learn to speak and being learning more of humans and before was how we presented ourselves to human if we wished to interact as what we are. Tell them what to hunt or not to, of storms or fires. Well that was over a hundred years ago. Now we just hope they figure it out and help those that can not flea. Higar form is how we learn to play human while still having our senses and strength. And well human is human. It is how we interact with them for longer periods without exposing ourselves accidently."

Carlisle was lost in thought and most of the family was lost with him. It is a lot of information to take in. Edward on the other hand was playing with my hair. I looked up at him and he smiled at me.

"What do you look like in those forms? I know Higar is human, and Tigris is a giant tiger but what of the others?" he asked and I knew he wanted to know which was which. Deciding not to move away I shifted down to Tegamen, the midnight blue strips marked my body. I still looked human but my canines were longer like fangs my muscles were thicker but not by much and my nails were hard and sharpened. I turned my head to him and opened my mouth showing the fangs and claws. He traced my strips across my back and purred.

"Thiss iss Tegamen." I told him with a slightly lisp. "Next iss Tigam and then Taiga." I said and shifted slowly into the much more muscled form. A light fuzz of fur covered my body and I adjusted to the tail that sprouted from my tailbone. My canines and jaw reshaped slightly to accommodate the much larger canines. My hands and feet were now paws clawed and lacking thumbs.

We do our skilled work as Tegamen because I just lost my thumb. I explained holding up my paw for him to inspect as he chuckled. He took it in his hands and caressed the pad lightly so I extended my long claws. He raised an eyebrow at me and I smiled awkwardly.

"My what sharp claws you have." He said and I giggled softly which never sounded right in this form. I playfully batted at him and then shifted to Taiga.

I had to change my position as my more feline structure made it hard to lean on him as I had been. I settled for curling around him and twitched my cat ears. My fur was thicker now and hid the lines of my body. Even my underbelly was covered; my leathers had vanished into my body once the fur was thick enough. I tickled him with my tail and purred as I rest my head on his leg.

Am I pretty to you like this? I asked wondering what he found attractive and what he did not. He thought about how to answer and I waited patiently.

"You are definitely beautiful in all your forms. But it is hard for my to think of you as a human when so are so very feline." He stated truthfully petting my fur as he spoke. I understand. I am fierce but I am more beast in this form. I am thankful for your honesty. I don't expect you to French kiss me in this form. But that you don't seem to mind contact makes me happy. I told him. I had expected this to be harder for him and he was taking it all very well.

"I like you this way. And I think it would be awkward to say the least. But I will always enjoy being close to you no matter your form." He said scratching my ear and I leaned into him, it felt lovely. The family laughed and I looked over at them.

"You are truly an amazing creature Bella." Carlisle said his voice full of awe. I smiled and shifted up to Tegamen and I sat on Edward's lap.

"I must say you are a pretty kitty." Emmet chuckled and Rosalie smacked him and rolled her eyes.

"Beautiful." Esme said in agreement. I blushed at this and resisted the urge to strut.

"Thank you. I thought it might be hard for you to accept when you saw me shift." I said as I blushed and looked down.

"I always wanted a kitty cat." Emmet said and I chuckled crawling forwards and shifting to tiger. I sat in front of him and then licked the side of his face. He chuckled and petted me. Rose and the others joined with periodic comments on how soft my fur was. Soon I was laying on the ground purring like mad. Demetri chuckled.

"Careful not to spoil her with attention." He said as he passed us to go inside for the night. The day had passed quickly but something told me that the night would not be so pleasant. A cat's instincts are to be trusted above all else. We are uncanny predictors of misfortune.