Fox McLean and the Case of the Kidnapped Heroes

3

Norfair was a very volcanic area. Lava covered everything in sight as the Arwing touched down on a suspended platform.

The three of them hopped out. "Ugh," said Falco. "I think those things are only built for two."

"Never mind that," Kirby said. "We have to find Bowser and Ganondorf! Where could they be?"

"Hmm," Fox pondered. Then, he pointed towards a large castle. "How about that huge castle that says 'BOWSER'S CASTLE' in big red letters?"

"Ohhh, uh… sure!" Kirby said embarrassedly. "I was just testing you!"

"I'm the teacher here, Pinky."

"Kirby."

"Don't smart off to me."

"Okay."

The three agents approached the castle. A Hammer Bro. stood at the gate.

"Halt!" he yelled as they approached. "Who goes there?"

"Uh, we're your… uh, milkmen?" Kirby guessed.

"We don't drink milk."

"Uh… pizza men?"

"Bowser's allergic to pasta."

"Uh… uh… we're here to rescue the prisoners."

"Hmm," the HB looked at a list. "We don't have anyone on the Rescuer List except Mario, and he's inside. We're supposed to stop him, but Bowser never said anything about animals and puffballs. So, I guess we don't have to stop you. Go on in!"

As they walked through the gate, Falco turned to Fox. "Does this seem too easy?"

"Yes, it does."

They walked down a hallway. Paintings and pictures of Bowser covered every wall. They were walking on a Bowser carpet. The entire ceiling was a giant Bowser mural.

"Hmm, I think this castle must belong to… Princess Peach!" Kirby determined.

"What the heck are you talking about?" Falco asked.

"The paintings around here are displayed in a very ladylike way."

"Ah, Pinky, good point," Fox complimented. "But, if you'll look to your right, you'll see that there is a doorway that says Maid's room. Bowser probably had the maid arrange the castle, meaning he isn't too attached to it. Therefore, I deduce that the entire place is either not his or else rigged to explode."

"Wow…" Kirby said in awe. "You're a genius."

"Oh brother," Falco said in disdain. "Let's keep our eyes ahead. Look! The hallway branches into two. We'll have to split up to cover all areas."

"Great. Falco, you go to the left. Me and Pinky will head right."

"Don't you always go left?"

"My name's Kirby…" Kirby muttered.

"I usually do, but I'm being new and creative this time." Fox and Kirby set off down the right hallway.

Falco had walked for several minutes without seeing any obstacles or enemies. A door was coming up at the end of the hallway. "Hmm," he said to himself. "This is oddly easy."

Just then, his foot tripped an invisible wire in the floor. A wall of spikes suddenly descended behind him and began slowly moving towards him.

Falco sprinted towards the door. He was almost there, when he heard a cry for help. A cage carrying Zelda dropped down farther back in the hall. At the same time, the walls on either side of Falco began to close in.

"Oh, come on! What more could happen?" he said in frustration. As he said it, elevator music began to play.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Zelda shrieked. "MY ONE WEAKNESS! Falco, save me!"

Falco raced back to the cage and smashed the lock with a powerful kick. Zelda leaped out.

"Thank you! Now… Transform!" She spun and turned into Sheik. She shot needles at the speakers, and the elevator music stopped. "Let's go!"

They raced back down the hallway. The walls were closing too fast, however.

"Zel--Sheik!" Falco corrected himself. "We're not going to make it!"

"Poof!" She said. They both vanished, and reappeared right next to the door.

"You could do that all along? Why didn't you just teleport out of the cage?"

"Oh…" she said slowly. "That would have been helpful, I guess." They went through the door, then gasped at what they saw.

"Hello, fool. I didn't expect to see you here," Wolf said. "I'll enjoy picking my teeth with your feathers."

"Ooh," Kirby moaned. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that spicy Mexican food on the Arwing!"

"I warned you about this. That stuff is really hot."

"My mistake."

Fox and Kirby had been walking down the hallway and were still passing many pictures of Bowser.

"So, Mr. Fox, I've got a question."

"Shoot, Pinky."

"Does everything on your missions always inevitably explode?"

"Well, you see…"

However, Kirby did not see, as he took a step and tripped an invisible tripwire. Goombas and Koopas began falling out of the ceiling, and they charged at the agents.

Fox pulled out his blaster to buy them some time. "Hey, Kirby!" he shouted as a well-aimed laser knocked out a Goomba going for his head. "I could use some help."

"Ooh, I could use some help." Kirby was turning red. "This stuff gets even hotter after it gets in your stomach. I don't think I can hold it!"

Fox dived out of the way, and Kirby opened his mouth, releasing a storm of flames that filled the entire hallway and knocked out every single one of Bowser's troops.

Fox looked up and whistled. "Wow, Pinky. You've got guts."

The flames died down and Kirby burped. "Yeah, and with the stuff I eat, I'm always thankful for them. But that's still not my name."

They continued walking, and soon reached a huge wooden door. Kirby moved to open it.

"Wait," Fox halted him. "It's too easy…" He examined the doorknob. "Just as I suspected, the door is wired to blow if we try to open it." He turned and walked away from it.

Kirby scampered to keep up. "So, are we going to ignore the door completely? Don't we need to get in?"

Fox turned and shot his blaster at the door. The explosives detonated.

"See?" Fox asked. "You gotta think in this job."

They walked in the door. The room they entered was dark, but when they were completely inside, the door snapped shut and the lights turned on.

Bowser and Ganondorf dropped from the ceiling in front of them. "Hey!" Ganondorf said. "What are you doing here?"

"We're here to save our friends!" Kirby said. "You're under arrest for kidnapping, attacking members of the Smashers' Agency, and just for being evil!"

Bowser laughed. "Har har! Well, your friends are here…" He pointed with his huge arm to a huge cage containing Mario, Peach, and Link. All three were unconscious inside it. "But you weren't supposed to come here!"

"It was quite simple to find your castle."

"Yes, Fox, we know that, but you were supposed to go left, down the other hallway! We were expecting Falco to show up. We would be able to beat him easily since he's all alone." Bowser scratched his head. "I guess we could still defeat you! RRRAAAA!"

Bowser shot flames from his mouth directly at the two agents. Kirby quickly turned to stone to protect himself, but Fox took out his reflector and pushed the flames back at the villains.

"Darn it, you moron!" Ganondorf shouted, jumping out of the fire. "We can't beat them like that!" He pulled back his fist, and began charging up a punch.

Fox tried to get out of the way, but he was too busy reflecting Bowser's flames. Kirby jumped out of the flames and opened his mouth. He inhaled Ganondorf and then spit him out. As he did, red hair and eyebrows appeared on his head.

"Haha! I have eyebrows now! Take this! Uhhhhhhaw!" He used Ganondorf's famous Warlock Punch to knock Ganondorf for a loop.

Meanwhile, Bowser's flames were growing weaker. He stopped breathing fire, and slashed Fox with his claws. Fox tumbled into Kirby.

"Fox! Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Fox muttered, getting up. "I didn't have enough time to dodge that."

"How about this?" Bowser jumped up and then crashed down on top of the agents. Ganondorf also arrived back at the fight after recovering from Kirby's attack.

"Pinky," Fox said weakly, "We may be in serious trouble here. My leg's hurt."

"Oh, dear!" Kirby said. "I may have something in my belly that can help." He reached inside his mouth and began pulling things out.

"Home run bat… Fan… Jelly beans, ooh! I'll put those back. Warp Star… Mr. Saturn… Ah! A Team Healer!" Kirby handed it to Fox, who was healed immediately.

"Ah! That's much better!" Fox said, getting back on his feet. "Hey, got anything else in there?"

"Hmm… I've got a big glowing ball… I've got some cake…"

Bowser and Ganondorf began to charge up powerful attacks.

"Wait, use the big glowing ball! It's probably a Smash Ball!" Fox told him.

"Let's go!" Ganondorf shouted. "RRRRAAAA!"

"RRRRROAAAARR!" The two villains ran at them.

Kirby pulled out the Smash Ball. "Here goes!" He squeezed it until it shattered. "WHOA!"

Kirby began glowing. Suddenly, a huge cooking pot appeared out of nowhere, and Bowser, Ganondorf, and all the items Kirby had pulled out of his stomach were pulled inside.

"Cooking time!" Kirby began to stir the pot.

"Ow! This stuff is hot!" Bowser complained. "And I breathe fire!"

Kirby continued stirring and cooking. Finally, he said, "Mmm! Perfect!" He opened the lid, and Ganondorf and Bowser fell out, unconscious.

"We did it!" Kirby said, striking a victory pose.

"Great job, kid!" Fox said proudly. "Now, let's free these heroes and go help Falco!"

"Hooray!" cheered Peach and Link.

"Mama mia, I'm the winner!" yelled Mario.

"Mario, sometimes your brain amazes me," Peach said, shaking her head.

"Woohoo!"