3. JUST LIKE MOTHER
I had been trying to avoid Landon, but it was hard when he started moving his classes around so he was in them or at least in the room next to me. But talking to him in between classes I got to know him better, everyday we would ask questions about of families or what we considered fun. Everyday I felt closer and closer to him, and eventually I became excited to see him in between classes but I still noticed how he looked at me. Like at if at any moment we were alone he would make me his; his eyes held a look of possession in him like I was his already.
But I made sure to keep a distance from him like my family asked me, if he wanted sex like they feared he wasn't going to get it. This was good and bad. Good because I wasn't ready and bad because he might just take it without my permission. Today Landon and I ate lunch outside, and he was lounged on a bench eating an apple; I watched as he tore into it, not a bit gentle and he threw it careless into the woods. And I guess I mentally used that as a metaphor for well…me; I would be the apple, innocent and simple. And he would destroy me then carelessly leave me there to rot wherever I happen to lie. I shuddered at the thought and decided not to think about it.
"So are you and Jacob an item?"
"No."
"Hm he seems to act like you're his."
I shook my head and threw my tray out; I pushed his legs off the bench and sat next to him. Other people were sitting in the courtyard as well but I knew that they didn't care to hear us.
"No I just grew up with him, he's very protective of me so please don't mess with him." Landon shrugged.
"Ok, but if he touches me I'm gonna take him down."
I sighed.
"What? Do you not want us to fight?"
"No why would I want my two friends fight."
A grin lit up his green eyes and his sat up and hugged his legs, his short tan hair moved in the wind and I glared at him.
"What?"
"Nothing, just you called me your friend."
I abruptly stood up.
"If you want to be a jerk I'm just going to go eat with my aunt." He grabbed my wrist roughly and if I were human it would've really hurt. He pulled me back down onto the bench and I glared at him.
"You didn't have to grab me so hard, what?"
"I'm not trying to be a jerk, and I'm sorry I grabbed you so hard."
"Whatever."
"Would you listen to me!" I felt his anger flare and the heat around him went up a couple degrees; I stood up again and moved before he could grab me again.
"Sorry. I have some anger issues."
"That's an understatement, look yes you're my friend but if you push me you won't be anymore."
He nodded and the bell rang, we walked to our class in silence but I saw Alice and I stopped.
"I'll see you in class okay Landon." He looked behind me to see Alice and he smirked.
"Nah, I wanna meet your family, since we're friends and all."
I sighed and Alice finally caught up, her eyes scanned Landon and her face crimpled in disgust.
"Ugh you smell worse than that mutt at home."
"Same to you toots, but thanks for the compliment." He winked and Alice groaned in displeasure.
"Nessie we need to talk like right now, with out the kitty."
He growled but she ignored it and dragged me by the arm.
"Didn't Edward tell you to stay away from that kid? But all I see you doing here is hanging out with him? You are really starting to be your mother's child."
"What does that mean?"
"That you are attracted to danger, things that will kill you. I can barely see your future but you're making it worse around that cat!"
I laughed a little because if someone happened to walk in on this conversation they would hear her screaming the words you and that cat. I lightly touched her shoulder and smiled.
"I'm okay; I am not human like my mother was. I can take care of myself and I promise I won't even let it get that bad okay."
She nodded and we all headed to class but I couldn't help notice that Landon stood closer to me, but possessively if that was even possible. And maybe it was already that bad, and I don't think there was anyway to turn back now. We sat in English together watching the movie interpretation of Lord of the Flies, Landon nudge me a bit and whispered.
"What were you talking about?"
"Nothing Landon, why do you always have to butt in?"
He pouted for a bit and returned to watching the movie, he always tried to know everything about me and it was starting to bother me when he got angry when I didn't tell him. He was like a…jealous boyfriend.
"So when can I meet your family?"
I stopped in my tracks; we were heading our way to the front doors because thankfully school was over for today.
"Uh, I don't think they like you much."
"So that's what you were talking about, why didn't you just tell me?"
We continued to walk again and he held the door open for me, I scanned the road for the Volvo but I didn't see it so I sat on a bench and Landon followed the suit.
"Because I don't have to tell you everything Landon, we're just friends." His eyes widened and he laughed.
"I know that."
But I knew it was phony because it didn't reach his eyes, I hurt him and I knew it. But what was I supposed to do? Lie? No because I knew as soon as I deluded him, I too would be caught in that web of lies and no one would survive it.
"Hey I'll see you tomorrow." Landon stood up and hugged me, my breath hitched when I felt his arms go around me. I unconsciously smelled his neck and he pulled away to smile.
"I know, I smell good right." He laughed and I smiled, and as he walked away I couldn't help but feel helplessly alone.
My father pulled up just in time because Landon disappeared around the corner probably out of his radar, but I wasn't safe. I sighed and slowly walked to the car all the while trying to think of anything but Landon. Damn. Just did.
"Little one, you are just like your mother. But I cannot be mad, for you have found a friend."
He stared at the road ahead and I played with my book bag strap. I slowly looked up at him and smiled.
"He's a good friend dad, and I'll make sure he knows that's all he is." He smiled back at me and suddenly I realized why my mother fell in love with him. His crazed auburn hair matched his golden eyes perfectly, and his smile would warm any frozen heart even though his skin was icy cold.
"Why thank you little one."
"No problem dad."
I sat in my room, alone doing my homework. Jacob kept his distance ever since we kissed and I understand, he doesn't see me the same anymore; and it's my entire fault. There was a knock at the door, my Aunt Rose stepped inside my room and sat on my bed a lot louder than any vampire might, so it meant she wanted my attention.
"Yes Aunt Rose?"
"Nessie, I need to talk to you about the triangle you're about to create."
I placed my pencil on my desk and turned to face her.
"I don't understand."
She shifted uncomfortably.
"Baby, Jacob is in love with you….and so is this Landon kid. I know he just met you but you have that effect on people, and it called to him strongly."
I nodded.
"I know you want to be friends with both of them but until you put your foot down with one of them, or both of them they will continue to love you. And poor Jacob is up in his room moping around because you kissed him and decided you weren't ready for the whole package. But honestly I like Jacob's reaction better than what I think what will happen when you reject Landon."
She feared just what I did, that if I denied him he would flip his lid and try to hurt me…or worse look for Jacob.
"Just think about it Baby, it's good to pretend sometimes but sometimes dreams come true…even nightmares."
She kissed my forehead and left me to my musings, maybe I needed to bite the bullet and tell Landon to back off. But first I needed to talk to Jacob. My Jacob. Who was torn up because I hurt him, but what could I do if I wasn't ready?
So I walked to his room, he had the door wide open. He was doing push ups in front of his bed and I almost choked on my own air. He stood up glistening with sweat and he smiled lightly at me.
"Hey Nessie, what's up?"
"Uh, well I wanted to talk with you."
He grabbed his shirt and quickly threw it on.
"Sure sure, what's on your mind?"
"Well…"
I sat on his bed but he continued to stand, he looked afraid to be close to me but I could see more than fear in his eyes.
"Well I wanted to talk about the kiss we shared…first off it was great and I can't stop thinking about it, second I'm sorry I hurt you but I'm not ready…"
"Oh, well….ok."
He sighed and clenched his fists; he was holding something back, something important. Something that would make him feel better but probably make me upset.
"Say it Jacob, please."
"….No….you'll be upset."
"I don't care Jacob, please tell me."
And then he exploded, tears in his eyes welled down his face. Frustration written across his forehead was the clear culprit.
"If you want to wait so badly why are you with Landon? Why does he get to hold you? Why would you kiss me then so gladly become friends with the man I am beginning to hate?"
"Jacob-"
"No, this is crazy! You know he wants to fuck you! He wants to fuck you until you bleed, did your father tell you that? Did he tell you that he wants make you his bitch? Because that's what he wants, he wants you in so many dark ways."
I couldn't take his words so I exploded back.
"But isn't that what you want Jacob, for me to be yours? To fuck me? You both want the same thing!"
"I can't believe you would say that shit! I would never hurt you or force you to do anything, and never put me in the same sentence as that sicko!"
"Don't you dare call him that!"
"You're defending him? You are so naïve!"
That was it, I left him standing there and I stormed to my room. My mother was already sitting in my room. I slammed the door and ran into her arms and cried.
"Shhh its okay let it out." She rocked me in her arms as I lain across her lap and I cried into my pillow.
"You'll forgive him."
"No I won't."
"Ok sure you won't."
She got up and kissed my forehead, she whispered that she loved me and closed the door behind her. I rolled over to stare at the ceiling, why was I so upset that he yelled at me and that he attacked Landon's name. I thought about it and made a mental list, which added up to that I loved Landon…and Jacob.