A/N: Again twilight is not mine, so wow she is in love with Landon and Jacob. She is just like her mother , but one has to wonder if her relationship with Landon is good for her since he think about so many dark dirty things.

4. Not Meant For This

I hadn't so much as talked to Jacob since the fight we had and that been a week ago, Landon and I became closer and closer. We even held hands in the hallways, I met his friends his fellow shapeshifters. They were nice but they eyed my like I was a piece of meat, and every time I came home Jacob was standing by the stairs waiting to talk to me. Always wanting to apologize but I didn't want to hear it.

I was happy with Landon, but there was an edge of fear that I had toward him. Like any moment he would turn and slap me. But that was the excitement to our relationship; I decided that it was time to take it up a notch with him. I craved to know what his lips tasted like; also I wanted to forget I ever had my first kiss with Jacob Black.

I pulled him by the hem of his shirt into a dark corner where all I could see where his green eyes and the flash of his teeth. He lowered his face to mine and our lips touched and unlike Jacob he didn't hold himself back. A groan escaped my lips and my arms flew behind his neck to pull him closer, his hands were everywhere and I never felt so good. I wanted to pull back for air but he claimed my lips again like I was the only thing keeping him alive, I put my hand in the middle of his chest and I pushed him back.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I need air, plus I need to head home."

"Let me come with you, we can go to your room and finish this up." He smirked but I fully pushed him away.

"No Landon, we're not doing that."

"Why not, are you cheating on me? Is that why I can't come home with you?"

"No Landon, my parents aren't fond of you."

He paused. And turned his back on me.

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

He kissed me lightly on the lips before he swiftly bit my bottom lips causing it to bleed; he licked his lips and smiled.

"You better not be lying to me or so help me I will kill who ever you are cheating on me with."

He left before I could say anything else; I sucked my lip so it could heal before my ride came. And when it did I saw my father pull up with the look of murder in his eyes. I crawled into the car and he stared at me, I looked up at him and sighed.

"Dad sometimes it's real hard to take you seriously when you look like my age."

"I don't care, Renesmee he hurt you and threatened you. I will not stand by and let my daughter date a fucking maniac."

"Dad."

But I love him, how could you leave something like that behind.

"I don't care if I cursed, little one this isn't love."

I was going to ask him how did he know but I remembered that he could hear my thoughts, I sighed.

"I like him dad."

"No you like him because he is the Jacob that you wish you could have."

I cursed under my breath and threw my hands up.

"Yeah but I'm with Landon, and I'm staying with him. I don't care what you think, what mom thinks or anyone for that matter. I love him because he makes me feel normal, like I'm a normal teen."

"But your not even a teen, you're a six year old girl in a teenage body. I know you are smart and I know you look older but you have not experienced true love, little one even if this was who you chose to love he is not healthy for you."

I bit my lip and crossed my arms, I was done. There was nothing anyone could say to make me change my mind.

"Jacob left."

Ok almost anything, I looked up and my father and tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

"Where? Why?"

He sighed.

"To Forks, because you didn't want him and he was making you unhappy so he decided it would best if he went back home."

I never cried so hard, and when I got home my mother was crying too. I forgot that they were best friends, just like we were before I kissed him. It didn't feel real like this was a nasty trick to make me leave Landon. But everything of his was gone and so was the SUV my parents got him for his birthday.

I stood in his empty room, I didn't stop crying once and all I could do was lie on his old bed and cry into the sheets. It was my fault he left, it was my fault that my mother lost her best friend and my father lost a brother. Rose looked gloomy as well; she cursed under her breath and muttered something about missing the mutt's stench. And it's all because of me.

The days didn't go the same anymore; he wasn't there to wake me up for breakfast, or to watch the weird B movies I like, or tell me the truth when I was trying on the clothes Alice bought me. Everything felt empty and wrong, even being with Landon didn't help. And he definitely noticed that I wasn't feeling the same.

"Are you okay babe?" I cringed because I absolutely hated when he called me babe or honey because he said it to the females in his pack. It didn't feel special at all.

"Nothing, I just feel bad for my mom. Jacob moved out." A small smile rested on his lips and I sat up from where I lounged against his chest.

"Are you smiling?"

He shrugged.

"You are so mean; he was our friend how could you sit here and be happy about something I'm upset about."

He shrugged again.

"He wasn't my friend and frankly I glad he is gone, I guess he couldn't handle the competition."

"Competition? Landon he wasn't fighting with you."

I stood up, I was too angry to be near him.

"I'm sorry babe but-"

"Don't call me babe I have a fucking name!"

He stood up his eye brows down.

"Alright woman, I tried to be nice but I guess I'm going to have to put my foot down. You're my girl so shut your mouth and sit back down."

His voice was abrasive and loud, I was taken back. He usually was so nice to me and he never raised his voice to me.

"I said sit down."

"No."

He stood chest to chest with me but he looked down.

"What the fuck did you say to me woman?"

I was afraid for the second time in my life, the first was legitimate but this was ridiculous why should I be afraid of my boyfriend? He growled low in his chest and grabbed my wrist but I pulled it out of his hand quickly.

"Quit it Landon, I'm going home."

"Bitch I said sit down!"

He slapped me, my face stung and water formed in my eyes from the pain but I didn't feel it. I was in shock. My vision went red for a moment and I slapped him back, but I didn't stick around to see if it hurt him or not. I ran but I heard him close behind me, trees flew past me but I could hear the soft patter on the dirt ground, it sounded like paws. I stopped ready to attack when I saw a russet wolf panting behind me.

"Jacob!" I threw my arms around him and I cried into his fur, he whined and he ran behind a tree to phase back. With his shorts on he ran to me and pulled me against his chest, I cried into his warm chest. He smoothed my hair that flown behind my back, the meadow around us was beautiful, yellow flowers colored the amazingly green grass and the trees encircled the meadow as if someone hand-picked where they would go.

He pulled me down with him and I rested my head in his lap and he stroked my face. Nothing needed to be said, and I'm pretty sure he knew what happened. But instead of going on a rampage and trying to go find Landon, he held me and whispered that everything was going to be alright.

I looked into his eyes and I wiped a tear from my eye.

"Can we lie in the grass for a while?"

He nodded and pulled me down so I used his bicep as a pillow, he kissed my red cheek where Landon smacked me and we stared at the clouds that rolled over head.

Laying with him in the meadow made it feel like time paused, it felt perfect. Well almost perfect because I knew Landon was out there watching every move that we made. And I truly didn't mind because if he wanted to watch then I mentally decided that I should give him a show, he deserved it. But then another thought crossed my mind, what if a fight broke out…and all because of me.

And surely it would haunt me if one got hurt, I loved them both each for different reasons and I guess in two different ways. But love is love right? But the look in his eyes stopped me in my mental tracks, the pain and hurt was too raw to leave it alone.

I wanted to run to him but how could I leave the other, I guess it's time to grow up.

I looked at Jacob and I sighed, I sat up and Landon moved to the center of the meadow, his eyes were too raw to look into his eyes so I chose to stare at his lips. He sighed and clenched his fist and the other hand pointed to Jacob.

"So that's it, you want him!"

Jacob was now beside me but he was containing himself from the fury I knew was pent up in his body, his muscles twitched with it but he stayed perfectly still beside my side.

"Landon, you made it perfectly clear when you smacked me."

Another twitch and a muffled growl.

"Made what clear?"

"That you have no respect for me, and you can't just be happy with us being well...happy. You always have to have more, more that I cannot give. Landon I love you but you are making this hard for me, I can't choose between my best friend and my boyfriend. I'm sorry I can't be with you anymore."

He bit his bottom lip; I thought it was to hold himself back from crying but when his arms flexed Jacob pulled me behind him. We both jumped back and Landon phased. He was incredibly huge, a tan colored beauty with toned muscles that flexed and moved in his cat-like grace. His green eyes glared at me and a loud roar spilled from his mouth.

"Please Landon, don't be this way."

He growled and Jacob turned to me.

"He is challenging me, I have to fight him. Please it's to protect you."

"Don't kill him please." I said in a small voice and a tear rolled down my face, he caught my tear before he turned and phased and ran at Landon, the nipped at each other as they ran deeper into the forest. I wanted to run after them but I felt someone grab my arm.

Alice pulled me into her arms and sighed. "Oh thank god, you're okay...and alive." She pulled back to look at my face and I saw unshed tears and worry in her eyes.

She told me that she had a two versions of one vision and one of them I ended up dead, she also told me that my parents were on there way. And as if on cue they arrived with the same look the Alice wore, except tears escaped freely from them. They both grabbed me in a bone crushing hug and the both comforted me as well themselves.

"Where is that lion?"

"Don't worry, Jacob is with him."

My mother pulled away.

"Jacob?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, he bumped into me in the middle of the woods, but we ran into Landon."

She smiled and soon a smug smirked followed it.

"I guess he didn't leave."

They took me home but I couldn't help but wonder what was going on between Landon and Jacob.

Were they still fighting?

Was one of them really hurt?

Was one dead?

I couldn't sleep, and I knew that I didn't want to sleep not until Jacob was back or at least able to tell me if he was alright. I couldn't expect him to come back home, not after all I put him through it just felt silly to think that he would want to be around me let alone saving my life from my crazed boyfriend.

I just stared at the ceiling and listen to the creaking of every floor board in the house, everyone was waiting. He had been missed by everyone but most of them wouldn't admit it, he was everyone's personal sunshine. I heard the front door open and a bunch of mumbling, I threw my blankets off and ran to the top of the stairs. Jacob was surrounded by everyone and he was effortlessly carrying Landon in his arms.

"WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?"

Everyone looked up at me and I stormed down the stairs, I wanted to choke Landon's unconscious body. He was bleeding and bruised, his eyes were peacefully closed and he lightly snored.

"Nessie, I thought you were asleep, Jacob was just dropping off Landon."

My breath got caught somewhere deep within my chest, and I looked down and my bare feet.

"You're not staying?"

He shook his head and handed Grandpa Carlise Landon before he ran a cut up hand through his hair, he looked embarrassed and tired.

"I'm going back home, I just sensed you needed my help. I don't think he'll be much of a problem now I got a hold of him"

"So you're just gonna leave." He nodded and I turned on my heel before the tears welled in my eyes, I grabbed the railing that lead up stairs and I laughed.

"Well have a save trip, okay Jacob."

And before anyone could stop me or ask me what was wrong I ran up stairs and locked the door to my room. In my bed I felt safe from every pain that the two men in my life were causing, I cried deeply into my pillow as I heard the front door close. I sighed as I heard at least three sets of hands knocking at my door beckoning me to answer.

"I'm just tired I'll see you in the morning."

I didn't remember even falling asleep, but I did and I woke up to the happy sounds of birds and the wonderful smell of my favorite breakfast, I shot out of bed, Jacob only cooked bacon and waffles for me. I ran down the stairs and swung around the corner down the long hallway passed the living room and dining room until I reach the last room, the kitchen. I rubbed my eyes and almost smiled at the tall dark figure but I noticed something felt wrong. Jacob turned to me with a smile. But I felt the room tilt, his eyes were bleeding as if he were crying.

"Hungry Ness?"

I shook my head. "Jacob you're bleeding, what happened?"

"Nothing."

He continued to cook, the blood dripped into the hot skillet and burned in the pan, the smell of metallic blood filled the air and my stomach half turned half craved the blood that ran freely from his face. He set the plate of the counter and grinned but his mouth was over flowed by blood, it fell everywhere and I could find out where exactly it was coming from.

"Jacob what's wrong?"

He cried and fell to the floor, I ran to him but I heard a growl come from behind me. It was a large mountain lion. His lips moved.

"Stay away from him, you belong with me."

Jacob touched my shoulder which left a blood print on my tank top.

"Don't leave me, I need you."

"I'm not going anywhere Jacob."

"Yes you are." He sobbed and coughed up more blood. "You're running away from me, please don't leave me."

The lion roared and I turned in time to see it leap at us, I screamed.

I heard the door crack and I opened my eyes to see my mother and father standing in the doorway. I looked around frantically for a mountain lion or a bloody Jacob.

My mother sat down beside me and stroked my hair. "Shh it's okay honey it was a dream." My father scanned the room as if he would find someone who planted this dream into me. He sat down eventually and kissed my forehead. He seemed just as shaken with my dream.

"It's okay little one; it was only a dream, an odd one but only a dream." I nodded and glanced at the clock and began to rush for school.

"Little one it's a Saturday, there is no school."

I paused and sighed; I sat on the edge bed beside my mother and smelled food down stairs. I panicked and my father sighed. "It's just Rosalie making your breakfast."

I blushed and they smiled my father left and my mother stood in the doorway.

"Come down stairs your breakfast is ready."

She left as I sat on the edge of my bed; I couldn't help but still be a little shaken from the dream. It smelled so real, and I could feel the vibration from the lion's roar. I shook the feeling and I walked down the steps slowly, as I passed the living room. I saw Grandpa Carlise standing over Landon's sleeping form.

His whole body took up the cream colored couch; his light brown hair flowed with the breeze from the open bay window that Aunt Alice was currently perched in. She looked at me and shook her head.

"I should kill him while he sleeps; it serves him right trying to hurt you."

I sighed and sat next to her, the breeze outside was wonderful and I thought for a second I smelled the woodsy musk of Jacob. But of course he wasn't there; I just wish that if I was going crazy it would have been over something a bit more drastic than Jacob going back to La Push.

Landon groaned and everyone was suddenly on edge, he brought a hand to his eye and gently rubbed it. His green eyes were suddenly on me and a gentle smile pulled at his lips.

"Morning Nessie."

I fought the urge to slap him, after all we been through all he could say to me was good morning? I glared at him and his eyes saddened, my grandfather knelt in front of him and flashed a light into his eyes.

"Well you look fully healed."

"Good so that means he can get the fuck out!"

My grandfather turned around shocked. "Nessie."

"I don't care if I have a dirty mouth he needs to get the fuck out of my sight; all he said to me was morning, no apology or anything. Not that I would accept it."

"I made a mistake, I'm sorry."

"No, you knew exactly what you were doing you could have apologized in the field, and I might have said okay fine but you didn't."

I had made my way closer to Landon but Alice quickly grabbed my arm to hold me back, I struggled against her grasp and groaned in frustration. I quickly realized that I wasn't going to win this tug-of-war against her so I stood my ground and shook my head.

"I can't believe your all protecting him; I mean you all wanted to kill him earlier."

"Well we have no reason to kill him, he apologized and plus he is kind of pathetic now that Jacob beat him."

I cringed at the sound of his name and instantly I blocked out the impending sadness that threatened to consume my heart. I sighed and stood before Landon thinking only of the mistakes I made with Jacob, I should have never kissed him.

"Fine, he can stay but don't think I'm gonna be all buddy-buddy with you."

I turned on my heel and stalked toward the kitchen, He plagued my heart and my mind. I loved Jacob but I didn't know if it was the right type of love. They kind of love I see my parent's share, maybe I just needed to stop thinking about love and just trying to get my best friend back.

I absently picked my waffles and sighed; what ever I was going to do I needed to do it soon before I lost my nerve