A/N: I bet you thought I've forgotten this story since it's been really forever since I last updated. I really apologize and I can promise you I'll update more regularly again until it's finished.

So, now please enjoy and drop me a review, maybe you have ideas how to go on...

That was when he noticed that Starbuck's hands were shaking, only slightly, but enough to notice if you paid attention. And Apollo of course had done that, anxiously checking for signs that "Mystica" was progressing. Quicker than he would've liked he felt the blonde tense and the shivers increased. Starbuck was warm too the touch, but still he mouthed:

"Cold… So cold…"

"I know, Star, you're entering the second stage. We'll try everything, until now nothing helped."

Apollo answered sadly. With one hand he cupped his lover's cheek caressing it softly.

"We won't let you die, you just have to fight and give us the time to find a cure. Promise me you'll fight!"

Both looked into each other's eyes holding the gaze.

"I promise. I won't leave you, not now that I finally found home…"

Apollo was deeply touched and found he lacked words, so he just settled for a kiss, hoping Starbuck would understand. Indeed, the Lieutenant understood his Captain absolutely.

After a knock to ensure he wouldn't disturb them in a private situation Salick entered.

"Good morning, you two!"

He greeted them checking Starbuck's condition. His brow furrowed when he was done.

"Apollo, we have to start with one of your ideas, they're our best guesses."

"Ok, let's do this."

"I have the things for the transfusion with me, you're ready?"

Apollo nodded and offered him his arm. Even though he hated needles, he'd do it for his friend, he wouldn't let Starbuck down. Both times Salick hit a vein on the first try and the Captain watched his blood flow through the small tube into Starbuck. His eyes were always fixed on the blonde, wanting to catch even the slightest change, be it for the better – or the worse. After a few minutes when Starbuck's condition did not change Apollo asked the Doc anxiously:

"Did it fail?"

"Not yet… Let's try it a little longer."

Another centon passed and nothing happened. Finally Salick stopped the transfusion, knowing it would be dangerous to Apollo if he continued.

"I'm sorry, Apollo…"

Salick was more than sympathetic with the young Captain, knowing it wasn't always easy for the brunette to stay strong. It didn't take a genius to figure out how much strength Starbuck gave him… The Doc just hoped they'd be able to cure the Lieutenant, because if he would die, they wouldn't only loose one, but two of their best men and of course two dear friends.

Apollo said nothing, the lump in his throat was too big. He'd put much hope into that treatment, despite he'd always told himself not to expect too much. No one had ever found a cure for Mystica, he reminded himself. If it were as easy as a transfusion, it would have been found long ago…

Apollo faced a difficult choice now: It was either trying to save Starbuck (by risking his own life) or to stand idly by while his mate was probably dying. His sense of duty told him he should chose the latter, but his heart told him differently. He knew that if he failed and died too, Boxey would be devastated, as would be his father and Athena. His friends would also grief about him, no doubt about that. He knew the people would miss him for his fighting skills, but what a fighter was he without his wingman at his side? With a broken heart? Without Star he could never remain the fighter he was. They were by now far too attuned to each other, as if they were not two beings, but one. While fighting they knew each other's moves by instinct, that was why they were such a good team. Simply one of them would never be as good as they were both together.

So it was no real choice at all for Apollo: He would let himself be infected with Mystica, no matter if the others approved of it or not. But before he wanted to do something else – in case he should really die.

Retreating to his room he sat down at his desk. The first letter was the one to his father, it said:

„Dear father,

I write this in case I should not survive. My hopes are that you will understand I did not have much of a choice, I had to do anything to save Starbuck. You know how it feels to loose the one you love, the only difference to my situation now is you never had the chance to save Mom. It does not matter mine are slim at best, you know how many times chance was against Starbuck and me, we always won. Maybe we'll win one more time. If we don't though, I want to tell you that I love you and to ask you to take care of Boxey, he'll need you.

Your son

Apollo"

Apollo's back ached and so he stretched before continuing with a letter to his sister.

„Dear Athena,

I'm sure you didn't see this coming, so it is certainly a blow for you. Forgive me for this, I just couldn't stand idly by and do nothing while Starbuck suffers so much. My life is joined with his, I wouldn't be of much use to you without him. So for one last time I want to say: I love you and I am very proud of the woman you've become. I wish you much luck for the rest of your life.

Please help father with Boxey, he needs female guidance.

Your brother

Apollo"

The last one was the most difficult one. How could you explain something like this to a child who hadn't yet experienced the love between two adult people?

„My dear son Boxey,

I am so sorry and I hope one day you will be able to understand why I had do do this. My love for you was strong, never doubt that please. I wish I could have seen you growing up, but I have no doubt you will become a fine man.

Do as your grandfather tells you to, then you will be alright, I promise.

May the Lords of Kobol be with you and always protect you.

Your Dad"

He sealed the letters and put them away to be found when needed.

A/N: How was it? Probably not my best, at least I think so. Anyway, I'd like to know what you think...