Tosh was at her workstation when she heard it; a strange sound, like someone grunting, coming from the autopsy bay. A glance around told her she was alone. Rhys had taken Gwen home, at least for a little while, and Owen had gone for coffee after coming to the conclusion that Ianto would not be dragged away from Jack's side again for something as menial as making coffee.
More than a little nervous, she picked up her gun and made her way to autopsy, not sure what to expect. She was stunned, though, to peer around the corner and discover Jack, sitting on the autopsy table and hacking awkwardly at the cast that encased his right arm. He wore nothing but a pair of boxers and the only marks remaining on his body were the puncture marks from the IV needles. Beyond that, his body appeared completely unscathed.
Heart in her throat, Tosh holstered her gun and ventured slowly down into the autopsy bay.
"Jack?"
He didn't pause, didn't so much as glance at her. He spoke, and his voice was almost cold, emotionless, as though he was trying to mask how he might really be feeling.
"I want this thing off me. Come and help me get it off, Tosh."
She approached with caution. He had a scalpel, and was stabbing at the cast, trying to break it open. He'd gouged a hole in it, but that was all.
"Jack, stop," she begged him anxiously. "Please, you're going to stab yourself with that... not to mention Owen'll have a fit if he sees you doing that with one of his scalpels."
He ceased the action, but didn't release his grip on the scalpel. Still wary, Tosh opened a drawer on the other side of the autopsy bay and removed a saw, designed specifically for removing plaster casts. She switched it on and proceeded to cut the cast away from his arm.
"Owen's going to want to check you over when he comes back," she said tentatively. Jack's gaze was fixed on the scalpel in his hand.
"I'm fine."
"Yes, but..."
"I'm fine," he said tersely.
The cast came away, and Jack sighed softly in relief, flexing his arm and hand. Sliding off the autopsy table, he turned and headed towards the steps that led back up into the Hub. Tosh stared after him, open-mouthed, and he was halfway up the steps before she found her voice.
"Jack, wait!"
He stopped, and looked back at her wordlessly. She floundered for a moment before speaking.
"How... How are you?"
He smiled, then, but she couldn't help but notice that the smile didn't reach his eyes.
"Fine, Tosh," he answered. "I'm fine. If you'll excuse me, I'd really like to put some clothes on."
By the time Tosh recovered enough to move, she reached the main level of the Hub just in time to see Jack disappearing through the hatch, into his private quarters beneath his office. She was still waiting there anxiously, just outside his office, when Owen came back in.
"Tosh?" he queried. "What're you doing?"
She glanced briefly towards Jack's office before speaking uncertainly.
"It's Jack, Owen. He's... you know..."
"Healed?" Owen asked. "So where is he?"
"He went down into his quarters. That was about fifteen minutes ago, and he hasn't come back up yet."
"Okay," Owen muttered. He paused to check the monitor that showed the video feed to the room where Jack had been. He could clearly see Ianto, fast asleep and slumped against the now empty bed. "Okay," he said again. "I'll go and check on Jack. Do me a favour, Tosh, and go get Ianto before he wakes up and has a heart attack because Jack's gone."
"What about Gwen?" Tosh queried as Owen grabbed the Bekaran scanner and headed for Jack's office. "Should I call her?"
Owen hesitated in the doorway. Yes, Gwen would want to know that Jack was up and around again, but at the same time, he doubted the Captain would care to be drowned in the kind of sympathy and worry that Gwen was likely to heap on him.
"No," he decided finally. "Let's try not to smother Jack with concern straight away. Just go and get Ianto, but keep him out here, all right? Don't let him come down into Jack's area unless I holler."
"Owen..."
"What is it, Tosh, love?" he asked with the slightest hint of impatience. Tosh was unable to conceal her own fears.
"There's more, isn't there? More to... to what happened to Jack... More than just the physical torture?"
Owen stared at her for long seconds before turning and heading into Jack's office without another word.
It was almost pitch black in Jack's private quarters. Owen ventured down the ladder with caution, half expecting to land on Jack when he reached the bottom. He didn't though, and had to take a minute to look around and get his bearings, allowing his vision to adjust to the darkness.
"Jack? You down here mate?"
He felt like a fool, and could only hope Jack was of a mind to answer. He didn't especially fancy going through Jack's private space. Any other time, absolutely, but not now.
"It's not here."
Jack's voice emerged out of the darkness, like a disembodied ghost. Owen ventured forward a couple of steps.
"What's not here?"
Jack didn't answer, and the sound of things being thrown around reached Owen's ears.
"Look, can we turn the lights on?" Owen asked. "Seriously, Jack, this is just a little on the freakish side, you know?"
The sound of things being thrown around ceased, and the sound of beeping reached Owen's ears. A moment beyond that, a light switched on, bathing the area in a dim glow. Owen blinked, and felt his gut clench at the sight of Jack on the other side of the room, standing in front of what appeared to be a closet or cupboard of some sort, with what Owen suspected were most of his clothes scattered around him on the floor. The distress on Jack's face was painfully obvious as he stared into the cupboard.
"It isn't here. Where is it?"
Owen walked forward slowly, his gaze fixed very carefully on Jack.
"Where is what, Jack?"
He kept his voice low and calm, hoping not to startle the Captain at all. Jack motioned towards the cupboard in agitation.
"My coat. It's not upstairs, and it's not down here. Did Ianto take it to the dry cleaners? Is that it?"
Nausea threatened deep in Owen's throat.
"Jack... the police have your coat. We haven't got it back from them yet."
Jack wheeled around to face Owen, and the slightly wild look in his eyes drove the other man back a few steps.
"Why do the police have my coat?"
It was such a straight-forward question, and Owen found himself patently unable to answer. He gaped at Jack, wondering whether the older man was simply trying to deny reality, or if he really had shut the memories out of his conscious mind.
"Jack... They took it as evidence. They've got the SUV as well. We haven't been able to get any of it back yet."
"I want my coat back, Owen," Jack said in a strained, slightly petulant tone. "I want it back right now!"
"We're working on it, Jack," Owen assured him, trying to keep the Captain calm with his most placating tone of voice. "Look, come back up into your office, and let me have a look at you. We'll have Ianto make you a lovely cup of coffee. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Eh, Jack? Just come on up out of this dark little hole, okay?"
Jack blinked hard, as though he was just waking up, and threw a strange look at the medic.
"Why the hell are you talking to me like I'm five years old, Owen?"
Owen stared at him, momentarily taken aback, but he recovered quickly.
"I thought I was talking to you like you were a senior citizen, mate. Which, technically speaking, you are. You ever thought of getting a pension card? Gives you all sorts of brilliant discounts."
Again, Jack shot Owen a look, like he thought the younger man had lost his mind, before adjusting his braces on his shoulders and heading out of his quarters. Owen rolled his eyes in mild exasperation before following Jack out.
Back up in Jack's office, Owen indicated for Jack to sit in his chair. The Captain did so without protest, but it didn't escape Owen's attention that Jack was watching him like a hawk.
"This won't take long," he promised as he brandished the scanner. Jack, however, pulled back from him with a frown when he tried to approach.
"What?" Owen asked, struggling to suppress his growing irritation.
"You promised coffee."
Owen honestly did not know whether to laugh or cry. As it was, it took him a great deal of willpower not to simply smack Jack across the back of his head. Instead, with a restraint that he felt was award-worthy, he stuck his head out of the office door and called to Ianto.
"Oi, Ianto, the Captain would like a coffee. Care to oblige?"
It was a ridiculous question and Ianto, who had been waiting anxiously with Tosh, immediately turned and hurried off to do as requested. With a weary glance at Toshiko, Owen then headed back into the office.
"Okay, Ianto's getting the coffee. Now, do me a favour and hold still, so this doesn't have to take any longer than necessary."
"I'm all right, Owen," Jack insisted softly. Owen only grunted in answer, and proceeded to run the scanner methodically over Jack's body, from head to toe. He was just finishing up when there was a light knock on the door, and Ianto came in bearing a large mug of steaming hot coffee.
"My hero," Jack murmured as he took the offered mug and indulged in a long swallow. Ianto flushed slightly pink, and shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Jack appeared oblivious to his discomfort, but Owen wasn't, and he shot the young Welshman a hard look.
"Well, it seems you're all healed up," Owen confirmed, turning his attention fully back to Jack as he stepped away finally. Jack eyed him with a level of calm that both Owen and Ianto guessed was entirely deceptive.
"I told you I was fine."
"Yes," Owen agreed, wondering how to broach the subject of what had happened without sending Jack into some sort of emotional meltdown. "Yes, you did, but…"
Jack set the mug down on his desk, and slapped his palms together, effectively cutting Owen off.
"Right, enough time wasted. Back to work. Where's Gwen?"
"At home…" Owen answered.
"Call her. Tell her to see about getting the SUV and my coat back from the police, as well as anything else of mine they might be hanging on to. I want it to happen today, people. And where the hell is my wrist strap?"
"Here, don't have a cow," Owen growled, digging into his pocket and tossing the device to Jack. "Detective Swanson had it all along. She used it as leverage to get in here to see you. You know, Jack, she's not going to just give everything else up to us. She doesn't want us to take over her investigation."
"Who said anything about taking over?" Jack asked tonelessly. "We're shutting it down, not taking it over."
Owen gaped incredulously, and a quick sideways glance revealed the same reaction in Ianto.
"Jack..." Ianto started to argue, only to be cut off by the Captain. His tone was calm, but there was an edge of steel to his voice.
"There's nothing to investigate. I know what happened to me." His gaze dropped briefly. "It was no worse than anything that's been done to me in the past."
Owen and Ianto exchanged worried glances. Neither understood what Jack was alluding to, but it sent chills through both men.
"What about the men who attacked you?" Ianto demanded to know. "Are you going to let them get away with it? What if they attack someone else? Or what if they go after you again?"
Jack hesitated, staring up at Ianto quizzically.
"Are you saying you'd care if they did?"
Tears of shock filled Ianto's eyes abruptly.
"Of course I would! How can you even ask that?"
For a split second, Owen thought he was about to be caught in the middle of the domestic to end all domestics. But then the walls went back up, and Jack shook his head.
"They'll be dealt with."
"And who's going to deal with them?" Owen demanded to know. "You? Bloody hell, Jack!"
Jack shot an angry look at Owen.
"Don't you have something to autopsy?"
It took all the willpower Owen had not to simply turn around and walk out. Instead, he leaned forward towards Jack, making silent note of the way Jack flinched away from him.
"Jack, you're our boss, but you're also our friend. Contrary to what you might be telling yourself right now, we do actually care about you. You've been through a pretty fucking bad time, and by all likelihood you're probably still in shock."
Jack sucked in a shaky breath.
"What do you expect me to do, Owen?"
There was the faintest hint of pleading buried somewhere beneath the sour belligerence. Hoping he was taking the right tact, Owen pointed to the manhole.
"Go back down there, lie down and try to get some rest. Preferably not drug-induced. Your body has healed, Jack, but the rest of you is still playing catch-up."
"I'm fine, Owen."
"And I'm your doctor, Jack."
Again, Jack flinched, but said nothing.
"Seriously, Jack," Owen persisted. "You need real rest, and I would really like to not have to slip you on a sedative in your coffee."
Jack didn't bother to ask if he was serious about that threat. He knew damn well that he was. It was a stunt that Owen had pulled more than once before when he believed one of the team was over-exerting themselves.
"Look," Owen tried again, "I'm not saying you have to sleep. Just try and rest. Let us deal with the police. We'll get the SUV back... and your coat. Okay?"
Owen didn't honestly know whether it was that Jack's defences were almost non-existent right then, or simply that he agreed, but Jack conceded with a silent nod, and proceeded to make his way back down into his private quarters.
A moment later, they heard the sound of his bed creaking as he lay down. Owen and Ianto were just about to head out when Jack called out.
"I want Ianto to stay."
Ianto froze and, Owen mused, looked a little on the green side.
"Good luck," Owen muttered, and hurried out of the office. Ianto hesitated for a good minute before climbing down the ladder.
Jack lay on his bed — not sprawled on the mattress as Ianto had seen him do so often before, but rather curled up into a tight, protective ball.
"What can I do, Jack?" Ianto asked softly, dreading the answer. Jack peered up at him in the darkness.
"Just sit with me?" he asked, and Ianto obliged, sitting down carefully on the edge of the bed.
"Thankyou," Jack whispered, staring up at the younger man with genuine emotion that just about broke Ianto's heart. He spoke, unsure how he was able to keep his voice steady.
"For what?"
"For being here... with me."
He was silent for a while, and Ianto took the liberty of reaching out to gently stroke Jack's temple. After a while, Jack reached up and caught Ianto's hand in his own, pressing it to his lips.
"What is it, Jack?" Ianto asked softly. That time, Jack couldn't maintain eye contact.
"I'm sorry," he said in a voice that was more of a whimper than anything else. "Please... don't leave me."
Ianto was shell-shocked. In all the time he'd known Jack, this was the first time he had heard the man beg. Jack never begged, unless it involved sex.
Quickly stripping off his jacket and tie and abandoning them on the floor, Ianto lay down beside Jack, so they were face to face. He was more shocked still at the sight of tears flowing down Jack's face.
"I'm not going anywhere, Jack. I promise you, I'm not. I love you. I'm not going to leave you."
Jack shifted, and literally burrowed in against him. His hot tears soaked through Ianto's shirt. Disturbed and more than a little frightened, Ianto slipped his arms around Jack's trembling body, and held him as tightly as he dared.
"It's all right," Ianto whispered. "I've got you, anwylyd. I've got you, and I'm not letting you go."
He could feel Jack clinging to him, his distress growing by the minute. Desperate to reassure him, Ianto leaned down and pressed his lips to Jack's.
He felt it within seconds. Jack went rigid in his arms, and Ianto could sense the panic and fear radiating out from him. Drawing back, Ianto peered at Jack, and felt his gut twist horribly at the look of terror that was virtually frozen onto Jack's face.
"Cariad," he whispered anxiously. "C'mon, Jack, snap out of it. Please..."
Out of sheer desperation, when he realised Jack was barely breathing, Ianto resorted to a tactic that Jack had occasionally resorted to when he suffered severe nightmares. Pulling away just a little, he clasped his hands on either side of Jack's face and spoke as firmly as his voice would allow.
"Jack! Snap out of it! You're safe, love, now breathe!"
Jack drew in a ragged gasp of air, and his eyes focused again. The two men stared at each other, Jack's eyes wide with barely contained panic, and red and swollen from shedding tears.
A moment later, the Captain let out a broken sob, and Ianto pulled him close in a protective embrace.
"I've got you," he whispered again, miserable despair tugging at his own heart as he hugged Jack to him. "I've got you."
tbc...