A/N: My apologies for the delay in updates - I have been fairly seriously ill for the last three weeks. Finally starting to recover now, and hopefully I'll be more prompt with the updates. This one isn't as long as I'd hoped it would be, but hopefully it won't be long before I have more to post.

Ianto gave Jack nearly an hour before giving in to his concerns and going to look for him

Ianto gave Jack nearly an hour before giving in to his concerns and going to look for him. It wasn't hard to do, even without resorting to the Hub's CCTV network. Jack had retreated once more to that little room where he had lain in agony while recovering from the attack, and it was in there that Ianto found him – curled up on the bed and, by all appearances, asleep.

Except, he wasn't sleeping. Ianto could tell by the way that Jack's breath hitched a little every several seconds, and in the way that he was curling in on himself and tightening his body into as tiny a ball as possible – a remarkable feat, even for the likes of Jack.

"Cariad," he called softly, wanting to make sure that Jack was aware of his presence before he ventured any closer.

"I hate this," Jack whispered without opening his eyes. "I want to be over this, Ianto."

Ianto sat down carefully on the edge of the bed, and stroked his fingertips lovingly along Jack's hairline.

"Perhaps when we've found the men who hurt you, and dealt with them, do you think you might be able to find some peace of mind then?"

Jack looked up at Ianto through half-closed eyes in what proved to be a pointless attempt at shielding his vulnerability.

"It's not just that. I can't even start to explain it. It just… Everything hurts, and I don't know how to stop hurting!"

"You need the Doctor," Ianto said softly, feeling a painful twinge of sadness that was mixed with understanding and resignation. To his surprise, though, Jack reached up and closed a hand over his own, and held on tightly.

"No. I need you. I don't want to see him, Ianto. I don't want to hear what excuses he has this time for abandoning me. It hurt enough the last time."

Ianto's breath caught as he read the underlying meaning in Jack's words.

"You think he knew, don't you? You think that he knew you were in trouble, and that he stayed away on purpose."

"I don't want to believe it. I want to believe Tish. I want to believe that he'd come running if he knew I was in trouble."

"But you don't," Ianto whispered in growing dismay.

"He's a Time Lord, Ianto. He can see all of time. I don't want to see him, because I'm afraid that he'll tell me I'm wrong again, and that's the reason he didn't come."

Several thoughts crashed through Ianto's mind all at once, and he struggled to put them into some cohesive order.

Wrong...? Again...?

"Jack, I don't understand. Please, cariad, talk to me."

After a long silence, Jack shuffled back across the bed.

"Lay down with me?"

Ianto needed no further invitation. He slipped his jacket and tie off, toed off his shoes and lay down beside Jack on the bed. Slowly, Jack curled in against him, tentative and yet with absolute trust. Ianto slipped his arms around Jack, and held him gently.

"Now tell me what this is about, anwylyd."

"I guess I need to tell you the whole story," Jack whispered. "It started in the year Two Hundred-One Hundred... back before I became immortal."

Ianto felt a quiet thrill. Jack was notoriously hard to get any sort of personal details out of, so this promised to be one hell of a story.

Jack told it quietly, uninterrupted by Ianto except for a noticeable tension when he talked about his extermination by a dalek.

"That was the time you were really dead," he murmured, and Jack nodded.

"Yes. I was dead and gone, and then Rose brought me back."

"Rose?" Ianto queried in surprise.

"The Doctor sent her home, but she didn't like that, I guess. He told me she opened up the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the time vortex. Made herself a goddess. She destroyed the daleks, and brought me back to life... except, she couldn't control what she had, and gave me immortality through the vortex. To this day, I don't think he ever told her the truth about what happened on the game-station."

"So, what happened when you came back that first time?"

"I was confused," Jack admitted. "Aching all over... I remember thinking that the dalek ray must have only grazed me. Didn't occur to me until years later... in 1892, specifically... that maybe the dalek hadn't missed at all. I was surrounded by ash, the daleks were gone and I was still trying to understand what had happened when I heard it."

"Heard what?"

"The TARDIS. I ran for it, and I was just in time to see it disappear."

Ianto felt a sickening clutch deep in his gut, and suddenly the words that Jack had moaned in his sleep, begging the Doctor not to leave him, began to make sense.

"He left you there," Ianto whispered, and Jack nodded, his grip tightening just fractionally on Ianto.

"Alone on a derelict satellite, surrounded by dalek dust and corpses. I thought it was a mistake, that he'd come back for me... but he never did."

"How long did you wait?" Ianto asked, feeling increasingly unsettled. When he got no response, Ianto tried again. "Jack, how long did you wait for him on that satellite?"

"It was hard to keep track," Jack mumbled. "Linear time didn't mean much, but I guess it equated to around three weeks."

"Why did you wait for so long?" Ianto wondered. Jack shrugged a little.

"I didn't want to believe he'd leave me behind like that. It took three weeks for me to quit kidding myself."

"Cariad," Ianto murmured in sympathy.

"He thought I'd died," Jack went on. His voice was little more than a whisper as he tried to conceal the tremulous and bitter tone. "That's what I kept telling myself. That he didn't know I was alive. All the time I spent on Earth, waiting for him, I kept trying to convince myself of that. And then I found him again, and I learnt the truth."

"What was the truth?" Ianto asked softly.

Fresh tears fell from Jack's eyes, which he angrily wiped away. He thought that he'd resolved this, and yet the hurt was as deep and as fresh as ever.

"He knew I was alive. He knew from the second Rose brought me back, and one of the reasons he left when he did was specifically to get away from me. He left me behind on purpose, Ianto."

Ianto felt sick to his stomach.

"Why? Did he explain himself to you?"

"Oh yeah, and I wish he hadn't." Jack pulled back from Ianto a little to stare at him miserably. "He ran away from because I'm wrong… and those are his words, not mine. He said it hurt him even to look at me, that I'm a fixed point in time and that I shouldn't exist. Not exactly his words there, but that's pretty much what he meant." Jack's breath hitched in his chest. "You were right. In the end, you were right. I am a monster."

Ianto tightened his hold on Jack and pulled him into a fiercely protective cuddle. Jack surrendered to his lover's embrace gratefully, taking no small amount of comfort from it.

"No, cariad," Ianto whispered. "I was wrong. You aren't a monster, or a freak, and you definitely are not wrong. He had no right to say that to you, Jack."

"Even if it's true?"

"No, I don't believe that," Ianto murmured as he cuddled his weeping lover to him. "I won't accept that. You are not wrong, not to me, not at all."

"There is one good thing that came from him leaving me behind," Jack said softly.

"What's that?"

"It brought me to you."

"Anwylyd," Ianto whispered, ghosting a kiss over the top of Jack's head. "It's me who doesn't deserve you, not the other way around."

"Please don't let go," Jack begged.

"Never," Ianto promised.

Ianto remained there long after Jack had slipped into a restless sleep, determined that when Jack woke again, it would be in the comfort and protection of his lover's arms. He was still there when the door opened and Toshiko ventured in. He watched her awkwardly over his shoulder, but made no attempt to disengage himself from Jack.

As she walked in, though, Ianto realised with shock that she had been crying.

"Tosh?" he asked softly, not wanting to wake Jack. "What's wrong?"

She halted by the wall and reach up to push a button on the intercom. A single green light that Ianto had not previously noticed blinked out.

"The intercom has been on all this time," she told him in a whisper. "We overheard everything."

Ianto felt the clutch of trepidation for Jack. What he had shared earlier had been highly personal, and he doubted that the Captain had wanted everyone to know about it. Still, he supposed bleakly, too late now.

"And…?"

"Well, for starters, I think poor Tish is in shock. I don't think she had any idea. Owen's on the warpath, and Gwen is furious…"

"What about you?" Ianto asked. Tosh sat down carefully on the edge of the bed.

"I don't understand. How could he do that to Jack? And then to turn around and call him wrong! Doesn't he know about all the good things Jack has done?"

"I don't know," Ianto whispered, quietly wondering exactly the same thing. Tosh peered over Ianto's shoulder to look at Jack, who was curled in against Ianto and clinging to the younger man in his sleep. Soft whimpers and an occasional sob escaped Jack's lips, and his trembling hands unconsciously clutched Ianto closer to him.

"When I first met Jack," Tosh murmured sadly, "I would never have imagined that he could ever be this vulnerable."

"Same," Ianto admitted, indulging himself in gently stroking his hand over Jack's sweat-dampened hair. Tosh stood up again, and patted Ianto's shoulder.

"We've got the video feed from the pub up and running, but it'll probably be a good few hours before anyone actually shows up there, so don't disturb him just yet."

"I hadn't intended to," Ianto told her. "We'll come back up together when he's awake again."

Tosh managed a small smile in acknowledgement before quietly retreating from the room, leaving them in peace. Ianto listened for the sound of the door closing before returning his attention to Jack. He could understand now why Jack didn't want the Doctor to come and after hearing that story, he hoped even more strongly that the Time Lord stayed away. He wouldn't deny that his own jealousy was playing a part in that desire, but first and foremost was his concern for Jack. And if Jack didn't want the Doctor turning up, then Ianto intended to ensure his wish was honoured.

"You're not wrong," Ianto whispered to his sleeping lover. "You're not a freak. If he dares to come anywhere near you, he's going to find out exactly how we feel about that."

When Toshiko emerged back into the Hub, she was surprised to find Kathy gone, and said as much to the others.

"She had to go," Owen replied as he studied the video feed from the Griffin Arms pub. "Her superintendent called her on her mobile and told her to get her arse back to Police Headquarters right away. Sour old bastard, by the sounds of it. Could hear him yelling at her down the phone all the way from autopsy. Anyway, she said she'd be back tonight, once she was off duty."

"Oh," Tosh murmured, not quite sure what to say.

"How is Jack?" Gwen interjected into the sudden silence. Tosh considered the question for a moment before responding honestly.

"Not good."

Owen grunted, though not derisively.

"That, Tosh, is a very big understatement."

"I just don't think I've ever seen him so utterly devastated before," Tosh went on in a soft voice, as though she was afraid that Jack might somehow hear her. Owen raised an eyebrow slightly.

"No? I have."

"When?" Tosh asked, puzzled. Owen looked away from the three women, unable to look any of them in the eye.

"When we all betrayed him and opened the rift."

An uncomfortable silence blanketed them, and neither Gwen nor Tosh even tried to dispute him. Finally, Owen sighed and got back up.

"Tosh, can you come and give me a hand? Some of the equipment in autopsy needs recalibrating, and we might as well do it now."

"Of course," Toshiko agreed, and followed him to the autopsy bay. Tish watched them go, and felt her stomach roll unpleasantly as their voices floated back to her.

"You know, I think Ianto might not react too kindly if the doctor were to turn up now," she heard Toshiko say.

"Tosh, love, it'll be a toss-up over who gets the first punch in. You, me, Gwen or Ianto. If he does dare show his face, he's going to find he's got a hell of a lot to answer for..."

Tish shut out their voices, and made her way slowly over to Gwen.

"Would you really treat the Doctor like that if he turned up?" she asked tentatively. Gwen swung around in her seat to look at her.

"Well, I don't know about wanting to hit him... After all, Owen's right. We betrayed Jack, too, so I guess we don't have any right to stand in judgement over him. But Jack has every right to still be angry with him. You heard the same as us, Tish. He abandoned Jack, god only knows how many years into the future. Left him alone surrounded by corpses, not knowing what had happened to him..." Gwen shuddered a little at the thought. "I can't begin to imagine what that must have been like. So even though we don't really have the right to condemn the Doctor, I still think it'd be a good idea not to contact him. It might only make it worse for Jack in the long run."

Tish felt her stomach roll unpleasantly.

"It, um... might be a little late for that."

Gwen stared at her, realisation slowly dawning in her eyes.

"Tish, sweetheart, what did you do?"

Tish let her breath out in a rush, and her shoulders slumped heavily. Here went everything.

"I called Martha. I didn't tell her what had happened to Jack, but I kind of suggested that she should call the Doctor and tell him to come and see Jack."

Gwen's face fell.

"Oh, Tish..."

"It was before we knew about what happened on that satellite," Tish protested anxiously. "If I'd known about that, I would never have called Martha, I swear it! But I honestly thought it might help Jack if the Doctor came. Because he really does care about him, and Jack just doesn't seem to want to believe that at the moment. I... I suppose I'll need to tell Jack, won't I?"

Logic told Gwen yes, that Jack needed to know it was possible that the Doctor might turn up, but her emotions once more overrode logic. In her heart, Gwen believed Tish was right; that Jack needed to see the Doctor to have it cemented in his own heart and mind that the Doctor did care about him. If Jack was made aware that the Doctor might come, he would probably actively take steps to stop him from coming.

"No, don't say anything," Gwen told her quickly. "Not to Jack, and not to any of the others. Let's just keep this to ourselves... because you don't know for certain that he'll come, do you?"

"Well... no..."

"And we don't want Jack thinking he's coming, only for him not to come after all, right?"

Tish winced at the thought.

"That would be awful..."

"Exactly. So we'll just keep it between us, and we'll deal with it if he shows up. All right?"

Tish was silent for nearly a minute as she considered that. Gwen's words made sense – it would only hurt Jack all over again if they told him the Doctor might be coming, and then have him not put in an appearance. She nodded slowly. The last thing she wanted to do was to be responsible for Jack enduring more hurt, and so pushing aside the unease, she conceded to Gwen's decision.

"All right. I won't say anything."

Gwen smiled with relief.

"Good girl. All right, let's start getting ready for tonight, then, shall we?"

And shoving all doubt from her mind, Tish went with Gwen to make preparations for the coming evening.

Kathy arrived back at Police Headquarters to find her superintendent waiting for her. He was looking distinctly unimpressed.

"Where the hell have you been, Swanson?"

She hesitated, searching her mind for a suitable answer that did not include 'I've been working with Torchwood'.

"I've been following up on a few leads with the Harkness assault case," she answered, doing her level best to keep her tone calm and even. "No luck, though. Oh, and I tried to get back in to see the Captain, but no joy there. That Torchwood lot have closed ranks around him."

She thought in retrospect that perhaps she'd said too much, but he didn't appear to react.

"Well, never mind that for now. Come with me. We have a suspect in custody, and I want you to question him."

Kathy stared at him in shock.

"What? How? When?"

"He was in the drunk tank, incredibly enough. A young kid by the name of Christopher Kendle. He's just twenty-two years old."

"And we know he was involved in the assault on Harkness because...?"

The superintendent regarded her soberly.

"One of Kendle's cellmates tried to get friendly with him. We have Kendle on camera, telling the bloke to leave him alone or he'd get the same as Kendle and his mates gave to that, and I quote, 'fucking poof in the blue army coat on Christmas Eve'."

"Bloody hell," Kathy whispered. She wondered how Torchwood were going to deal with this. Would they flex their muscles and try to take Kendle out of police custody, or would they find some other way of dealing with him...?

"Swanson?"

She blinked and looked back at him questioningly.

"Sir?"

"He's waiting to be interviewed now, Swanson. Will you take charge of it?"

"Yes, of course," she agreed, already wondering how she was going to warn Jack and his team of this. "I'll head up there now. Just need to check in at my desk first..."

"No time, Detective. Kendle's already been in our custody for nearly twenty-four hours. We need something solid quickly to be able to charge him. The footage from the cells gives us a starting point, but it would never stand up in court as a confession. His lawyer is already trying to say it was just something he blurted out half drunk to keep himself from being assaulted."

Kathy raised an eyebrow.

"If that was true, how would he have known Harkness was wearing a blue coat?"

The superintendent smiled wryly and motioned in the direction of the interview rooms.

"Why don't you go and ask him right now?"

She bit back a groan, and nodded.

"All right. Okay. I'll go and question him."

tbc...