Tainted But Beautiful
Part 1: The Hunters
7. Love
Pairings: AkuZeku, Zemyx, AkuRoku, AxDem
Rated: M
Warnings: Vampires, vampires, vampires...uh, yaoi, AU-ish-ness, abuse (if it has AkuZeku, it has abuse in it), noncon, rape, graphic scenes, character death, overall weirdness.
Summary: Axel is a powerful vampire slayer who's captured Zexion, a vampire, as his pet. What Axel doesn't bargain on is Demyx, his former student, developing a strong attraction to Zexion...
Notes: This is, oddly, my favorite chapter so far. And I swear it's not just because of the Twilight discussion-slash-argument in the opening scene (well, that has something to do with it...). But yeah, this chapter is the most Zemyx-y so far (at least I feel this way) and has a few AkuRoku hints to it as well. Basically a pairing chapter...which explains the title.
Also, for those of you wondering what the title means, this chapter explains it. So read on, and enjoy!
Axel was in a sour mood for the next several days. He didn't come down to join Demyx and Roxas at the breakfast table, and was short-tempered and nasty when he did bother speaking to either of them. Well, slightly less short-tempered with Roxas, but both of Axel's students--former and current--were beginning to become disconcerted by the older slayer's behavior. Sometimes, both of them would just stand outside Axel's study, watching helplessly as they heard curses, bangings, and other unpleasant noises from within.
Demyx was astute enough to notice the pained, miserable look shining in Roxas's wide blue eyes every time this happened. And again...there was that unpleasant churning sensation, eating away at the walls of his stomach, and he couldn't help but admit that there was something about Roxas and Axel that was just...
It took all of his self-control to prevent his thoughts from spiraling in that direction.
Demyx was surprised by how much he'd come to depend on Zexion during those dark days. Axel never came in to see Zexion anymore, which meant that Demyx had all the time he wanted alone with the vampire. And spend time with Zexion he did. He lay in bed beside Zexion at night, tracing the shape of Zexion's delicate jaw, marveling in how cool his skin was--like marble--yet softer than even an infant's. Sometimes he would kiss Zexion, leaving a trail of kisses down the curve of the vampire's neck...
Sometimes, when he slept with Zexion, he could almost--almost--forget about Axel.
Zexion made it easier by casting illusions. Not dark and ominous ones, nor the illusions that enhanced his own sex appeal and would cause Demyx to descend into a blubbering puddle of lust (as he had that one time in the dungeon..). They were illusions of quiet seas, moonlit beaches, ancient forests, calm and peaceful libraries. The illusions never lasted long because it took most of Zexion's subdued power to cast them, but Demyx appreciated the effort, anyway. It drew his thoughts entirely from the villa if he could believe that he and Zexion were having sex in a distant, exotic locale, instead of in a bed a floor beneath Axel's study.
Plus, on a more pragmatic level, it meant that Zexion would be so drained by the illusions that he wouldn't have the strength to use his other powers--such as seduction.
On the fifth night of Axel's mysterious black mood, Demyx knelt at the foot of the bed, quietly turning the pages of a book. This had become something of a traditon of his , once he'd discovered that Axel had a substantial library--he spent every night now reading before he went to sleep (or, now, had sex with Zexion). Mostly he read popular vampire fiction, laughing silently at their ludicrous and inaccurate attempts at depicting pureblood vampire society. Axel didn't have many other kinds of fiction, and sadly no comics at all save Watchmen. And Watchmen was far from Demyx's thing.
"What book is that?" said Zexion that night, breaking Demyx's concentration. Demyx turned, surprised--usually Zexion didn't talk while Demyx was reading. The vampire seemed to respect the sanctity of alone time with a book--he, too, often spent his days curled up with a book, though his books were not popular fiction but ancient, dusty old tomes and treatises.
"Er, I think you should've heard of it...it's really popular..." said Demyx, lifting the book so Zexion could see its cover. Zexion snorted the instant he saw it.
"Oh, those. Once, Ev--once I was dared to read them. I desire those hours of my life back."
"Ha ha, they're not that bad," said Demyx with a laugh. "I'm a sucker for love stories..."
"Love? As if a human and a vampire could ever love each other," said Zexion, shuddering as if in disgust. "It's disgusting. Would you fall in love with a ham sandwich?"
Demyx just laughed, to banish the rising uncomfortable feeling in his chest. "Ha ha ha, yeah, I guess. But she turns into a vampire in the end so it's okay--"
"Speaking of these...'vampires'," said Zexion, making quote marks in the air. "They're hardly vampires at all. Sparkling in the sunlight...? Such nonsense. Sometimes I wish I could find the author and teach her what real vampires are like..." His voice dropped into a low, threatening snarl...and Demyx knew exactly what Zexion was intending, and it made him even more uncomfortable.
"Oh, come on, Zexy," he said, shaking his head. "Her vampires aren't that bad. I mean, they're interesting in a way...you know, the whole drinking animal blood thing..."
"Ah, that." Demyx suddenly became aware of a change that had come over Zexion's posture. Before, the vampire had been slouching in the bed, his posture bored in haughty--but now he straightened up, his body stiff, and he fixed Demyx with a long and intent look, his dark blue eyes unreadable.
"Yeah, that," said Demyx, trying to keep his tone light and conversational in a vain effort to dispel the dark and ominous air that had fallen over the room. "I mean...vampires can drink animal blood, can't you? It doesn't have to be just human, does it?"
"Yes," agreed Zexion, his voice low and tightly controlled. "We can drink animal blood."
"Then why dont you?" said Demyx, still trying to sound casual but beginning to fail magnificently. "If it's just tradition--well, I'm sure there might be a group of purebloods who, you know, like the Cullens, live off animal blood--"
"Tch. No pureblood would choose to subsist entirely on vampire blood," cut in Zexion coldly.
"But--I mean--you can survive off animal blood--you just said it--" stammered Demyx.
"Yes, if there's no other form of sustenance available, we can live off animal blood," said Zexion, his words clipped and sharp and precise--but his tone was entirely familiar. It was the same one Axel had often taken with Demyx, the patronizing "teacher knows best so listen to the fucking teacher" tone. "There's a famous story of one pureblood who managed to survive seventeen years in the middle of a remote jungle, living off only the blood of the animals he killed."
"See!" cried Demyx triumphantly.
Zexion, however, just shook his head in a manner that could only be described as "This one has much to learn, yes he does", and lifted a hand for Demyx to stop babbling. "Don't be an idiot. By the time he was rescued, he was emaciated. Wasted away. You know those pictures--those UNICEF pictures--of starving children in Africa? Yes? Well, that's what he looked like."
"I see," said Demyx, suddenly feeling very frozen. He could barely get his jaw muscles to work, and a slow chill spread from his heart to the tips of fingers and toes. "I...I see..."
"It's true that animal blood provides us some sustenance, and we can survive off it as an emergency measure," Zexion continued, seemingly oblivious to Demyx's reaction. "But any vampire who makes a conscious choice to live only on animal blood has clearly been knocked so hard in his head that his brains have turned all around."
"Okay..." said Demyx just for something to say. "So you don't have a choice but to live off humans...? But aren't there--aren't there any of you--who are good, you know, and don't like to eat humans?"
He had no idea what had brought on this train of thought. Previously, he'd had no trouble at all accepting the usual belief that all vampires were just evil, nasty, brutish mosnters living only to suck the blood of humans--they could not be rehabilitated. But he'd never thought about purebloods before, and he was finding it more and more difficult to reconcile his vision of demonic monsters with someone as intelligent and complicated as Zexion. Especially as he witnessed more and more of Zexion and Axel's interactions--who was more man, and who was more monster? Sometimes, Demyx couldn't tell.
And he liked Zexion, too...he wanted to believe that Zexion was a "good" vampire, like the Cullens, so as to justify his increasingly close relationship to the vampire. Zexion seemed reasonable enough...certainly he wouldn't be trapped into thinking that humans were just food...
"Good?" snarled Zexion, his sharp voice slicing through Demyx's tormented thoughts. Demyx looked up, alarmed; Zexion was clinging on to the edge of the bed, his knuckles white, his face livid. His lips were trembling in a snarl, a snarl that revealed his fangs all too obviously. "How--how simple can you be? Think--think--about what you are saying! Just think, you idiot!"
"Um, Zexy--" began Demyx nervously.
"The world is not in black and white, you little mortal fool," hissed Zexion, leaning close to Demyx and prodding the slayer in the chest with a long, clawed finger. Demyx gulped and jumped backwards, startled. "Just because I require human blood for sustenance--does that make me 'evil'? And does that make all of you--all of you miserable scampering lot--'good'? Does that make Axel good?"
Shit. These were the exact same thoughts that had been running through Demyx's mind earlier...
"It doesn't," said Zexion quietly, answering his own question. "You shouldn't judge everyone by your own simplistic human standards. Look at things from my eyes--what do I see when I look at you humans?"
"Zexy, I'm sorry," said Demyx, holding out his hands in a desperate attempt to stop Zexion from going on further. He did not like the direction this conversation was taking and was sorry he'd ever brought up the subject. "I understand now. I was wrong. Please, stop this--"
"That's easy," continued Zexion, talking over Demyx and pretending to ignore the slayer's miserable pleadings completely. "I see a mob of reeking, stupid mindless creatures who are slaves to their instincts and have no conception of anything beyond their own narrow lives. I see imbeciles. I see animals. I see meat."
"You know, you could say that about--" began Demyx, but Zexion cut him off before he could say "made vampires."
"You're meat. The whole entire lot of you. You--" He pointed at Demyx "--are meat. He--" Directing his point upwards, at Axel's study "--is meat. And so is he." Outside, at the courtyard where Roxas was training intently. "More meat here." Down, at the servants' quarters. "Meat here, meat there. Meat everywhere." And with that, he spread his arms wide, in a gesture meant to encompass the entire world.
Demyx could only sit still where he was, the book dangling limply from his hands, paralyzed by horror. A million wild thoughts coursed through his mind, but his throat was stuck, and he didn't know just what he was going to say, anyway. It was just wrong--so wrong--everything Zexion was saying was wrong; everything went against Demyx's own training as a vampire slayer. Humans weren't meat. They were just a decent lot (well, mostly decent), trying to live the best lives they could. And they couldn't do that if they were constantly in threat of vampire attack, could they? Zexion was smart. Surely he must understand that...
"Zexy..." he said when he finally did find his voice. "That's...that's not right. That's a horrible thing to say."
"It's true," said Zexion with a derisive snort.
"But still...maybe, even if it is true," said Demyx, his voice quiet, begging, "it's still not...I mean...look at me, Zexion. Am I just meat?"
He stood up, then, and spread his arms wide just as Zexion had done earlier. But Demyx's intent was different--he wanted Zexion to look at him. To make sure that Zexion saw nothing but him, and then thought long and hard about what he'd just said--about his own feelings for Demyx--
The fuck? I did not just think that, did I? No, noo, I didn't mean "feelings" like that, just "feelings" like "general thoughts about me"! Yeah. That's right...
"Demyx," said Zexion, his voice low, turning away.
"Don't turn away, Zexion. Look at me. Look at me and tell me if you see 'meat'," said Demyx, raising his voice to match Zexion lowering his.
"I..." Zexion shook his head, his slate-blue fringe swinging...but then he turned and slowly, unwillingly, met Demyx's eyes. Zexion's visible eye was wide, almost frightened--but Demyx remained standing where he was, arms outstretched, ramrod straight, grimly making sure that Zexion saw--
"Am I meat, Zexion?"
"N....I'm sorry..." whispered Zexion, lowering his head.
"Don't apologize! I didn't ask you to," said Demyx, putting a little more sharpness in his tone than was called for.
"Demyx..." Zexion met Demyx's eyes again, but his expression was beseeching--familiar. Demyx had seen that same expression not too long ago, back when Zexion had been begging him for mercy during the nights, and even earlier than that, when he'd first met the vampire and Axel had punished him for trying to seduce Demyx...
Demyx's resolve shuddered, but he refused to let it snap--although when he spoke, he lowered his voice, let a note of kindness enter it. "Answer my question. I need to know--am I meat?"
Zexion didn't answer for the longest time--so long, in fact, that Demyx was starting to think he wasn't going to get an answer. Then, suddenly, the vampire's voice, so low that Demyx had to strain to hear it, floated through the silence:
"No."
Demyx sighed deeply, shrugging his shoulders and surprised at how relieved he was by Zexion's answer. "That's...that's good. That's good, Zexion."
"Are you..." Zexion paused, and turned away from Demyx, seemingly embarrassed. "Are you still...angry at me?"
Demyx took a step back, surprised; was this what Zexion was worried about? He didn't know whether to be touched, or...confused. Why did Zexion care what Demyx thought about him? Maybe this was a sign that--
But no. Demyx squashed such foolish thoughts before they could take hold and spread cancerously through his mind, and instead he flashed Zexion his best smile and extended his hand to the vampire still crouching on the floor.
"Of course I'm not angry, Zexy. Let's agree to disagree, all right? Now come on, get up."
Zexion's turned back towards Demyx, his eyes wide--looking younger than Demyx had ever seen him. Demyx knew that Zexion was an immortal vampire and probably much older than him, but he looked so startingly young, so innocent, hope and fear both dancing across his expression. The vampire slayer stood patiently where he was, his hand still extended (even though his arm was starting to become numb), until Zexion collected himself enough to lift his own hand, and slide it into Demyx's. Demyx tightened his hand around Zexion's, marveling at how cool and light it was, and drew the vampire up to his feet.
"Agree to disagree, indeed," said Zexion quietly, and pulled himself closer to Demyx's warmth.
The walk the next evening was, strangely enough, Axel's idea. Demyx thought that Axel would be loath to let Zexion out of the house, given how hard he'd been trying to keep Zexion imprisoned--so it came as a massive surprise when Axel approached Demyx and Roxas at the dinner table that evening, looking worn and haggard, and said to Demyx:
"I need you to get out of the house."
Demyx reacted instanteously. He leapt up, almost knocking his chair over, and yelled, "What? Hey, I just got evicted a month ago and now you're evicting me again? What gives, Axel? I know you've been acting strangely these past few days but that's no excuse to--"
"Stuff it, Dems," said Axel, a bit of his old smirking superiority returning, lifting a hand to indicate Demyx to shut up. "I didn't say 'pack up your stuff and get the hell out of here', did I? No, I just need you to get out tonight...take a little walk around the neighborhood or something. Roxas and I...have something to discuss."
"Huh? We do?" said Roxas, casting Demyx a startled glance and Axel a confused one. "I didn't--"
"You don't need me out of the house to talk to Roxas," protested Demyx, fighting down a strange surge of jealousy.
"Look, I need my privacy," said Axel with a heavy sigh, runnig a hand through his hair. "All right? Look, I know I've been a...a..."
"A jerk," suggested Demyx.
"A headache," said Roxas.
"Yeah, a jerk, a headache, a pain in the ass," said Axel, waving a dismissive hand as if he didn't really care about his behavior these past few days. Then again, he was already acting far more out of character already than ever before; Demyx was quite certain that Axel had never owned up to any churlishness on his own part before. "The point is...look, I'll talk to you about this later, okay, Dems? I need to talk to Roxas right now."
Roxas and Demyx exchanged another long, confused glance, but Demyx finally relented and, with a sigh that he made sure Axel heard, turned around and headed for the front door. As he grabbed his coat, though, Axel called after him:
"Hey, be sure to take your vampire boyfriend with you!"
Demyx walked straight into the wall and was left with bruises on his forehead that probably would take weeks to heal.
So now he was outside, the almost-entirely-set sun to his back...and a thin silver chain wrapped around his hand. The chain led to a silver cuff, around the thin pale wrist of a vampire currently very immersed in the dark night sky. Zexion kept his eyes fixed on the sky, on the few glinting stars that could be seen through the haze of light pollution, ignoring completely the wide boulevards and imposing manors surrounding him.
Demyx sympathized. "It's been a while since you've seen the sky, hasn't it?"
"And even longer since I've tasted fresh air," said Zexion with a sigh, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath--looking almost content. Zexion's happiness was strangely infectious--Demyx, too, found it wasn't hard to smile and mean it.
"C'mon. Where do you want to go?" said Demyx, tugging lightly on Zexion's chain. He wished he could hold the vampire's hand, but had the strange suspicion that Zexion wouldn't let him.
"I don't really care," said Zexion, glancing up at the sky again through half-closed eyes. "I'm just grateful to be out here. I thought I was going to forget how it felt like, to stand under the stars in the cool of night..."
"Ha ha, yeah," said Demyx, laughing sympathetically. He started down the sidewalk, Zexion following close behind. The night was chilly, a chill that Demyx felt even underneath his coat; but Zexion didn't seem to mind. He had refused a coat, but didn't seem to feel any cold at all beneath the thin fabric of his button-down shirt.
They remained in silence for most of the walk, Demyx simply enjoying Zexion's quiet company and (he hoped), Zexion enjoying his. It had been a long time since Demyx had been able to walk at a leisurely pace, just enjoying his surroundings--most of the time he spent his days holed up in Axel's villa, or else dashing through the night in a hunt for vampires, too pumped with adrenaline to notice what was happening around him. He savored every second of it, walking side-by-side with Zexion through Axel's neighborhood (which he had to admit was quite beautiful), and a vague part of him wondered if he wouldn't enjoy this night as much if Zexion wasn't with him...
At length, they arrived at a park, a wide, spacious expanse of green grass and trees with benches and ponds arranged tastefully throughout. During the daytime, it would be beautiful and sun-lit, but also strewn with secluded shady spots; and would be alive with well-dressed rich people showing off their clothes, dogs, cars, and children. In the dead of night, however, the park had a different character. Dark and empty, but peaceful and quiet at the same time.
Demyx led Zexion into the park, following a cobblestone trail through the grass. The night was dead and silent, with no sound at all save the seady thump of Demyx and Zexion's footsteps. Demyx let his thoughts drift as he walked, thinking about--about Axel, about Roxas--
They did seem to be rather close. Closer than a student and teacher should be... Was there any mistaking the way Axel smiled at Roxas, and they way Roxas smiled so eagerly back at Axel? But--
But Roxas was so young. And there was no way, just no way, that Axel could... If Axel was capable of loving Roxas, then why wasn't he--?
Zexion's voice, quiet but ringing strangely loud in the silent night, cut through Demyx's thoughts before they could go any further in this dangerous direction. "You're hyperventilating."
"Huh? Whah?" Demyx whirled around to face Zexion, startled. "What--oh. Yeah. Er. Sorry."
Zexion's only response was to raise his visible eyebrow, as if asking Demyx "What are you apologizing for, you idiot?" without actually speaking.
Demyx moved on ahead, whistling under his breath and focusing his eyes on the cobblestone path beneath him, so he wouldn't have to think about Axel and Roxas any further. He became immersed in the worn stones beneath his feet, examining the little cracks and the few tiny shoots of crab grass inside the cracks, taking in the uniform dark gray color of the stones....
...and then he saw the butterfly.
It was lying on the edge of the path, crumpled and dark and barely visible. Demyx knew that if he hadn't been focused on the path so intently, he would never have seen it. The instant he saw it, though, he strode straight across the path and bent down over it. It was still, its wings crumpled and torn at the edges, as fragile as tissue paper. Dead.
But beautiful. Without really thinking about what he was doing, Demyx tenderly scooped the butterfly up in his hands, taking infinite care not to break it. It was hard; even when he picked it up, cradling it as gently as possible, a shower of scales fell from the butterfly's crumpled, moist form on to the path beneath him. Even broken as it was, though, there was no hiding the butterfly's stunning beauty--the iridiscent darkness of its wings, their elegant form, the dazzling glitter of colors as he tilted his hand slightly and the butterfly's iridiscent wings caught the faint starlight.
"What is that..." said Zexion, leaning over Demyx's hand to examine the butterfly. "Ah. A butterfly."
"Uh-huh," said Demyx, turning so that Zexion had a better view of the butterfly. "Isn't it pretty?"
"Tch. I suppose. It's just a dead butterfly, though," said Zexion, turning pointedly away from Demyx. "You might want to put it back. It's probably harboring some nasty diseases--that kind of butterfly isn't native, you know--"
"You know," said Demyx, not listening to Zexion's words because he'd been caught up in his own thoughts. "This butterfly is kind of like you."
"Me?" Zexion turned around again, his eyes wide, looking almost stupidly startled. "I don't--that is an odd analogy. I don't see what I have to do with a dead insect."
"Hey, it's not--" began Demyx, but backtracked and rearranged his thoughts. "No, you are. This butterfly, it's been...it's been crushed. Broken. Tainted, But it's still beautiful, anyway. Even under the brokenness--the taint--you can see that it hasn't lost any of its beauty. Just like you are. Tainted, but beautiful."
Zexion watched silently as Demyx spoke, his face betraying no emotion. In fact, he just stood there not reacting for so long that Demyx started to feel embarrassed...it was a stupid metaphor, Zexion wasn't anything like a butterfly, this was just Demyx's stupid mouth spouting stupid stuff, as usual. But then he remembered how he had often before compared Zexion to a pinned butterfly...
"Hmm," said Zexion after what felt like an eternity. Demyx actually jumped, startled by the sound of Zexion's low voice after those long minutes of silence. "So you think I am beautiful, Demyx?"
"Er--um--ah. Yeah," said Demyx, once he'd regained his wits. "Didn't I tell you when we first met--? But it's not just...it's not just physical beauty. I mean, you are pretty. Very pretty. But there's...there's more to you than that. I like--I like your personality, too. You're just...you've got a sharp mind, and you're so...oh, hell. You're just beautiful in every way."
By the time he'd finished his long, words-tripping-over-each-other ramble, Demyx had no idea what he was saying anymore. He lowered his head, feeling his face burn, sure that if Zexion hadn't thought he was an idiot before he was thinking it now. What kind of crap had he just said...?
But Zexion, to Demyx's surprise, didn't laugh at him and call him stupid--instead, he lifted his hand, and placed it gently on the side of Demyx's face. Against the burning heat from Demyx's blush, Zexion's hand felt deliciously cool, and Demyx pulled closer to Zexion, wrapping his arm around the vampire's waist, letting himself become lost in the deep, soulful blue depths of the vampire's eyes...
"Hey," said Demyx sharply, and he prodded Zexion on forehead. "No using your powers. That's not fair."
"How isn't it fair, Demyx?" said Zexion, a faint hint of a smile crossing his face--and revealing the tips of his fangs. His eyes were still as beautiful as before, but different--the all-consuming, seductive quality was gone. "I am an incubus. It is part of my nature."
"Yeah, but...you're already beautiful enough," said Demyx with a heavy sigh, drawing Zexion closer to him. The vampire slowly slid his hand off Demyx's face, disgruntling Demyx slightly at least until Zexion then wrapped both his arms around Demyx's torso, and rested his chin on Demyx's shoulder. "You'll make me lose all control if you make yourself even more beautiful."
"Ha ha ha. You can't be that hopelessly infatuated with me," said Zexion with a laugh that Demyx felt as faint puffs of breath on his neck. "I am sure that among incubi I am average at best."
"No, you're--there can't be anyone, vampire or human or whatever, more beautiful than you," said Demyx, again running his mouth without thinking--but he realized that he meant what he was saying. Emboldened by that realization, he he moved his hands up, so that one hand was resting on the nape of Zexion's neck, toying with the delicate slate-blue strands there, and the other he maneuvered to rest on Zexion's cheek, delighting in the cool softness of the skin beneath him. "It's not just your powers as an incubus, either, Zexion. Like I said before...your personality, your everything. It's beautiful. Nothing can break you, no matter what happens, and...it's...I like that. I really do. In fact...I dunno...I think I...I really think..."
Zexion's eyes were dark, serious, boring straight into Demyx's. He did not stop Demyx, not once, even as Demyx stumbled and stammered his way into cementing all his feelings for Zexion into logical words. For that, Demyx was grateful--he was able to think, without interruptions, without thinking about anything besides Zexion, so slim and light in his arms, his eyes so piercing...
And so he found it surprisingly easy to say, in a clear, calm, and firm voice: "I love you, Zexion."
Zexion's response was instantaneous. The moment the fateful words exited Demyx's mouth, the vampire shoved backwards, pulling out of Demyx's grip and sending Demyx staggering backwards in dazed surprise. He'd let go of the chain but it didn't matter--Zexion wasn't trying to escape. He was just standing where he was, breathing hard, fury--and something else--burning in his eyes. Something akin to...disgust.
With a faint feeling of foreboding, Demyx found himself remembering their conversation last night...Would you fall in love with a ham sandwich? That was right, he was nothing but meat to Zexion, and even if he wasn't meat he was an abuser, a rapist...
But that didn't stop Demyx from loving him. On one level--the level that was all Axel's student, that was all slayer--it horrified him. How could he, a vampire slayer, fall in love with a vampire? Not to mention his own tangled feelings towards Axel... But on another level, the stronger level, he thought it made sense. Of course he loved Zexion. He loved Zexion for being beautiful, but broken, at the same time; for being confident, but shy; for being seductive, but innocent; for being the wild maze of inconsistencies that ultimately formed a whole that was steady and strong, a person with as many hopes and dreams as Demyx had, a person who had experienced horrific things but had pulled through them all with a fierce determination to just survive.
Demyx loved Zexion for all of that. It made sense, and he was happy to have realized it when he'd found the butterfly. That, more than anything, had helped reconcile Demyx's image of the warring halves of Zexion, and strengthened his own feelings towards the vampire.
"What are you saying?" snarled Zexion, snapping Demyx out of his thoughts. "Do you ever think before you start running your mouth!"
"I do," protested Demyx, his voice quiet--but firm. He, strangely, felt much less perturbed than he should have. "I love you--"
"Don't say those words! Idiot! You're a slayer! I'm a vampire--" shouted Zexion, his rage making his voice almost unrecognizable. He was trembling in his fury, trembling so badly he could barely stand--Demyx strode over to Zexion's side, wrapping his arm around the vampire's waist to keep him steady. Zexion tried to pull away, but Demyx just tightened his grip, pulling him closer.
"I know," said Demyx. "And I know what you're going to say next. Something about meat, right?"
"Exactly!" shouted Zexion, as if to say "Bingo!". "Let go--"
"You said earlier to me that I wasn't meat, though," said Demyx, finding it not that hard to talk above Zexion. "You can't deny that, can you?"
"You...you are right, I cannot," said Zexion, dropping his voice for the first time, and glaring down at the ground. Demyx felt it was safe to let go of Zexion now, and slowly unwound his arm from the vampire's waist, though he moved his hand to Zexion's shoulder--just in case. "But...that doesn't mean that...that means nothing. You're still not--ah! I see what this is."
"Huh?" said Demyx, taking a step back--startled by the change that had come over Zexion. The vampire was now smirking, a confident, smarmy, near-insufferable smirk, just like he was that know-it-all kid in class who knew something and didn't want to tell you. He'd folded his arms and tilted his head to examine Demyx more closely.
"I know now," said Zexion, still in that enormously self-satisfied tone. "No, this is very intriguing. I've never seen this happen before--certainly never with me. It seems my powers have had unintended consequences."
He approached Demyx, then, lifting his hands and placing them on the sides of Demyx's face. Demyx jolted a bit, startled by Zexion's sudden cold touch, but the vampire ignored Demyx's discomfort and drew him closer, so that their faces were only inches apart. When Zexion spoke, Demyx could feel the vampire's breath quite acutely on his face--cold, icy, lifeless.
"Can't you see it? This must be a...a residual effect of...ahem. That is to say," (Demyx had to admit he was slightly amused; he'd never before seen Zexion at a loss for words), "I have been using my powers--however weakened they might be by Axel's wards--quite...consistently...on you. That first evening, I used my powers of seduction...then later, in the cell, and when you first--when you first--did that. And now every night I've been showing you illusions. It makes so much sense. I'm surprised I didn't see it earlier..."
"Huh? What the hell are you talking about?" said Demyx, feeling annoyed--but happy at the same time. After all, he was so close to Zexion...all he'd really have to do was lean forward and then...
"This is must be because I've never before had a consistent victim," continued Zexion, speaking quickly, seemingly ignorant of Demyx's interruption. "Not like you...hmm. Truthfully, I've never heard this sort of thing before--most people constantly seduced by the same incubus or succubus just start wasting away--but I suppose it manifested in a different way with you. I see! My powers must have left a residual impact in your mind, made you view me more favorably--convinced you that you were in love with me."
When he finished, he smirked again, yet another self-satisfied, smarmy little smirk. Demyx could only stand there, feeling like he'd been punched in the stomach.
"No...that's not...that's...wrong, I think..." he said when he managed to get the air to speak. Even then, he couldn't get his voice to rise above a pathetic half-squeak, half-whimper. "That's not right. I do love you! And I love you for more than just your appearance, that's a stupid reason to love anything--"
The look Zexion gave Demyx could only be described as patronizing. "Oh, you poor mortal fool. So deluded. If I could, I'd take you back to the coven and make Vexen fix you."
Demyx didn't know who "Vexen" was and he didn't give a damn. He was steaming--how could Zexion make light of his feelings like this? "You're wrong, Zexy. I love you. I love you, and I'll repeat that until you believe it."
"Oh, I do believe it," said Zexion dryly, still fixing Demyx with a superior smirk. "I believe that I have meddled with your mind for far too long and now you're feeling the effects. Believe me--I didn't expect this either. You poor, poor fool."
Demyx decided, right then and there, that he had had enough of this. Enough of Zexion's condescension--enough of his patronizing attitude. Damn it, Demyx already dealt with those things on a daily basis from Axel! He did not need someone else to start leaking condescension all over him. Especially not the boy he loved. And he knew it, knew it with all his heart and everything holy and everything that wasn't holy--his feelings for Zexion were genuine. They were not some unforeseen side-effect of Zexion's powers.
But he knew trying to convince Zexion of this would be a waste. So instead, he draped his arms around Zexion's shoulders--the vampire didn't seem to mind--and pulled Zexion into a kiss.
The vampire stiffened, and his entire body shuddered--for a brief moment, Demyx thought he was going to protest. But then Zexion relaxed, with a sigh that tickled Demyx's lips, and pressed back into the kiss. Like all of the previous kisses they exchanged, it was a close-mouthed kiss--funny, Demyx thought darkly, how he had sex with Zexion every night but never Frenched him--although Zexion tried pushing deeper into it, digging his claws into Demyx's face and smashing his lips to Demyx's with a wild, animalistic fervor, tongue seeking entrance--
And then, for the first time, Demyx allowed Zexion to enter.
Zexion must have been as startled as Demyx, given the way his entire body convulsed when Demyx parted his lips and let Zexion's tongue in. But Zexion let the heat of the moment take over, and he eagerly began exploring Demyx's mouth, swirling his tongue over Demyx's teeth, greedily probing into the crevices of the slayer's mouth. Demyx, for his part, tightened his grip on Zexion, drawing him deeper into the kiss, enjoying the sensation of Zexion's light and supple tongue carressing his own, lost in Zexion's flavor--it was delicious, so dark but sweet and cool at the same time...
Demyx decided it was time to take the reins from Zexion for now--the vampire had had his fun. As they broke away from that first kiss, Demyx hauled Zexion up again, and before the vampire could figure out what was happening, pulled him into another kiss.
It was even better than the first time. Demyx almost thought his head was going to implode from the sheer joy of it--Zexion's taste, overwhelming him, intoxicating him, conquering him, freeing him--he couldn't think, his thoughts were a jumbled mess, all he was aware of was him and Zexion, mouths pressed together, kissing, over and over and over again, his tongue diving into Zexion's mouth, sucking in the vampire's sweet flavor. Sometimes, Zexion's fangs scraped against Demyx's tongue, sending shivers of delight running down Demyx's spine.
He was all too reluctant to pull away for the final time, but he did anyway--because there were greater prizes to obtain. Zexion let out a snarl of annoyance when Demyx pulled away, but Demyx ignored him, busy sucking and nipping on the smooth, icy-cool skin of Zexion's neck--and unbuttoning the vampire's shirt. It was a cold night, but Demyx was sure Zexion didn't mind the cold--otherwise he'd have worn a coat. He worked steadily down the curve of Zexion's neck, marking it, leaving bruises and hickeys that stood out bright red and blue against the pallidness of Zexion's skin. Down, further, until he arrived at the crook of the vampire's neck, directly where the neck met the left shoulder. Demyx bent eagerly over the hollow, prepared to mark it for himself--but then stopped.
"What..." he said quietly, tracing with his thumb the symbol drawn in sharp, dark lines on the vampire's pale skin. "What is this...?"
"Ah...he didn't teach you...? Well, I suppose he didn't teach you a thing about purebloods..." said Zexion, grabbing Demyx's wrist and gently removing it from his neck. "This is the symbol of my coven."
"Oh," said Demyx, because he couldn't think of anything else to say. It was a strange symbol, unlike any Demyx had ever seen before--it formed a kind of pointed cross at the top, but was rounded on the bottom. "Your coven..."
"You don't even know that?" Zexion's tone was scornful. "He really is quite a negligent teacher--"
"No! I do know. Yeah. Purebloods aggregate in covens," said Demyx, quoting from memory the lesson Axel had taught him long ago.
"Yes," said Zexion with a little cough that Demyx suspected was hiding a laugh--probably at the big words Demyx was using. "My coven is...one of the most powerful ones in existence." He cast Demyx a meaningful look. "Xemnas's coven."
"Who?" said Demyx blankly. The name sounded kind of familiar to him, but why? Axel had never taught him any vampire names, save the names of the major, now-extinct bloodlines (due to the old feudal family structure having been replaced long ago by the coven structure).
Zexion didn't bother to hide his derisive little chuckle. "Oh, you poor fool. Either you're a bad student or he's a bad teacher..."
"No, wait, wait wait!" cried Demyx, his memory jogged. "I remember...but Xemnas is a slayer! Well, was. Yeah. He was an--um--he was from the Algerian clans, and he was one of the best slayers in the world. They said he could kill three hundred vampires in a day, that's how good he was. This was way back in the eighteen hundreds though; I remember it was the same time that Napoleon was--! Oh, I see...don't do this, Zexy. This is mean, playing jokes on me like this. You know I'm stupid."
Zexion was making all sorts of strange faces while Demyx spoke--alternating between confusion and disgust and condescension and disbelief. Not very pleasant. "I am not joking. I am serious. You are probably remembering wrong. I can assure you that the Superior--that Xemnas--is a vampire. And has always been. Axel must have taught you wrong..."
"He didn't! It's on the Internet," protested Demyx.
"Do you know what they say about one thousand monkeys banging on typewriters...? Oh, never mind. But you shouldn't trust what's on the Internet," said Zexion, his tone admonishing. "Anyone can edit Wikipedia."
"It wasn't Wikipedia! I'm certain!" cried Demyx, irritated that Zexion was being so damn stubborn. "It was the worldwide slayer database, and they're accurate! Plus Axel had some history books with Xemnas in them. I know this. He was a slayer. You're the one who's getting confused."
"I am not confused about the vampire who leads my coven," snapped Zexion. He was buttoning his shirt again, turning up the collar to partially hide the hickeys and bruises on his neck--drawing Demyx's attention away from discussions of vampire leaders and back to, well...what he'd been doing.
"Okay, okay, another count where we agree to disagree," said Demyx with a sigh, rolling his eyes. Later that night, he'd look it up himself and see if he wasn't remembering wrong (perhaps he was, given his famously bad memory)... "But um--anyway, I think we should be getting home."
"Yes. Home," said Zexion, casting Demyx an odd, unreadable glance as he started up the path again, back in the direction where they'd come from. Demyx stood stupidly where he was for a moment, but then dashed up to catch up with Zexion, and took Zexion's chain in his hand again. The vampire ignored Demyx completely, focused only on the path in front of him, seemingly lost in deep thought.
"Zexy..." said Demyx quietly. Zexion didn't turn to look at him, but Demyx felt he had Zexion's attention, so he went on anyway. "Look--about what I said earlier tonight--"
"Forget it." Zexion's voice was cold, sharp--like ice. Demyx shivered, but plowed on nonetheless.
"I meant it. Everything I said. About loving you. I'm not under a spell, and I'm not delusional. I do love you."
The look that Zexion now cast Demyx was almost--pitying. "Do not speak such nonsense."
"It isn't nonsense," said Demyx, feeling sick inside. But he knew--he knew that there was no convincing Zexion. The vampire's expression was set, resolute; he would not listen to anything Demyx had to say.
Demyx supposed, somewhat sadly, that it was best this way. What else could a relationship between a vampire slayer and an incubus come to...? But that didn't stop his throat from feeling tight, didn't stop his eyes from stinging...and didn't stop him from loving Zexion anyway.
As they walked in silence, their steps ringing in the cool night, Demyx became aware that he was holding something in his tightly clenched fist. Slowly, he opened his fist--but already knew what he was going to see. A butterfly, iridiscent black, beautiful...crushed into a thousand tattered pieces.
Is that the main plot I detect in the distance? Is it? Oohh...
Anyhow, the next chapter is called "Hunt" and involves Roxas's first vampire hunt. So lots of action scenes and even (finally) the main plot (so it's not so far in the distance...). Preview here:
But he'd done it. He had killed his first vampire. He was--a real slayer now, never mind that he didn't yet have his license. The gun bouncing against his thigh as he walked, the knives tucked inside his coat, the presence of blood drifting around him--these were enough to mark him as a real vampire slayer. Strangely, he felt none of the fear, none of the violent numbness either, of that first night when the vampire had burst out of the darkness and attacked him, Hayner, Pence, and Olette--
Actually, I'm going to have to apologize soon because another update may not come for a while. I have an Academic Decathlon competition on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday (and I'm woefully unprepared...cough. Well, this one doesn't really matter), so expect no activity from me then. Also, I haven't finished the ninth chapter yet and I want to finish that before posting the eighth chapter...and finally I promised to write something for LarxZex day (12/6), so that'll prevent me from updating this story. Sorry about that! Hope no one minds...
In the meantime, send as many reviews as you can, and wish me luck in the AcaDeca tournament because I desperately need it. Haaa. But review por favor~