Tainted But Beautiful
Part 2: The Secrets
15. Clear
Pairings: AkuZeku, Zemyx, AkuRoku, AxDem, minor onesided VexZex, XemSaix
Rated: M
Warnings: Vampires, vampires, vampires...uh, yaoi, AU-ish-ness, abuse, noncon, rape, graphic scenes, character death, overall weirdness.
Summary: Axel is a powerful vampire slayer who's captured Zexion, a vampire, as his pet. What Axel doesn't bargain on is Demyx, his former student, developing a strong attraction to Zexion...
Notes: Happy new year, everyone, and as a gift I come with chapter fifteen of Tainted But Beautiful! Yay, we're halfway through the whole story! I know you're all excited for the Zemyx sex scene in this chapter...and it also explains, for anyone who's curious, why all the vampires call Zexion "Ienzo".
I don't usually recommend listening for my stories, but I highly recommend for this chapter at least "Starlight", by Muse. It served as a major inspiration for the content of the chapter overall, and especially the sex scene. Which might explain why the sex scene's so...odd. Not odd as in kinky, but just odd as in odd. Hopefully it's not badly written, though.
On with the story~!
Demyx supposed he should be happy to be seeing Zexion again. But he...
He was more confused than anything. He didn't know what to think about--about everything. About the...the "Superior", who looked exactly like Xemnas from the history books--hell, Zexion had even called him "Xemnas"! And then about Zexion advancing towards him, unmistakable bloodlust burning in his eyes...but then of Zexion stabbing himself with his claws, drawing his own blood in a seeming effort to sever his attraction to Demyx's. And then...
Everything was just so...so confusing. Everything. Xemnas, what was Xemnas doing here, and what had he called Zexion, "Ienzo"? But why? It made no sense to Demyx, and he just didn't want to think about it anymore. Thinking made his head hurt, especially since he was still feeling sluggish, his thoughts still refusing to gather properly, because of the blow to the head Xaldin had dealt him.
So Demyx had settled for sitting. His legs were still too numb to stand, properly, anyway. He perched on the edge of the bed in the room, looking around--trying to look at everything but the vampire leaning against the opposite wall, his eyes closed and arms folded, seemingly ignoring Demyx as well. That was fine by Demyx. He didn't have to look at Zexion, either. He just looked at everything else, at the blank concrete walls, at the simple metal-frame bed shoved against one wall. The room seemed to be some sort of quarters, but had a rarely-used feel to it. All was silent, save the steady hum of an air conditioner.
It was cold, and now Demyx was beginning to feel the icy chill in the air through his thin shirt. He'd started becoming aware of his injuries, too...of the bruises on his face, the lump on the back of his head...the multiple half-healed cuts and scrapes all over his body. Xaldin had obviously not bothered treating him after their fight, and now...well, his injuries were aching, crying out for attention.
Demyx sighed; the first noise he'd issued since the--the vampire...Xemnas?...had left. Zexion's attention seemed to have been caught by Demyx's sigh, as he jerked his head somewhat in Demyx's direction, but looked back to the floor again. Demyx hid another sigh, trying to tear his eyes away from Zexion...
But failing. He couldn't help it--Zexion was easily the most interesting thing in the room, at least more interesting than just staring at his own injuries. Not that Zexion didn't have injuries of his own, either. His face and neck were covered with bandages, but the ones on his neck didn't completely hide the bruises and hickeys standing out starkly against his pale skin. Zexion's hair was also far messier than Demyx had ever seen it, the slate-blue strands now falling into both his eyes. His clothes, unlike the rest of him, seemed to be in relatively good condition, though bright spots of blood were staining the sleeves of his white oxford shirt, reminding Demyx of what Zexion had done...
Demyx couldn't wrap his mind around it. Here Zexion had been telling him in a sharp voice, "Run away before I eat you!", but then he'd injured himself just so he wouldn't have to eat Demyx. How weird...but since when did anything Zexion did make sense?
No, that was wrong. Everything Zexion did made sense, in a strange and insidious way. Like how Zexion had behaved to Demyx, alternating between broken innonence, confident seduction, and snarling anger--that had all been a trap to get Demyx to...to make Demyx think that he'd fallen in love with Zexion. To make Demyx feel sorry for Zexion, only in the end for Zexion to betray him. That was all...he was just a game to Zexion, a game that now had lost all its use and that was why Zexion had wanted to eat him.
His head was beginning to throb from too much thinking. Trying to contain another discontent sigh, Demyx flopped back on the bed and hoped to fall asleep. Although, he thought darkly, sleep probably wasn't such a good idea when you were locked in a room with a hungry vampire...
"Um...hey."
Zexion jerked out of his thoughts, startled by the sound of Demyx's voice. They'd remained in silence for...for how long, he didn't know and didn't care. All that mattered to Zexion was simply losing himself in his mind, inhaling the smell of his own blood whenever Demyx's scent became too much to bear. It was best for both of them, if they remained silent and unmoving--and on opposite sides of the room.
Zexion didn't reply at first. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to get in a conversation with Demyx. Not now...Zexion would have to find a way out of here and someone to feed on before being able to speak coherently with Demyx...without having to worry about wanting to suck Demyx's blood. He hoped that Demyx would understand what the silence meant, and not push him further.
But Demyx, annoyingly enough, went on. "Um...hey. Zexion. Um. Hey. Don't ignore me. I know you can hear me, Zexion. Or Ienzo. Is that your name?"
Zexion sighed; Demyx was too annoying. He would have to answer. Fine, don't blame me if I kill you, then! he thought, but this was a random facetious thought and he quickly banished it. "What do you think?"
"I dunno. I don't know what to think anymore, as a matter of fact. I was hoping you'd have answers, Zexion. Or Ienzo. Whatever."
Demyx sounded frustrated, but Zexion supposed that was only natural. After all...Zexion hadn't forgotten their conversation in the park. Not the bit about "love", but about Xemnas...the Superior. As always when he started thinking about the Superior, Zexion's hands rose unconsciously to the crook of his neck, where the symbol of his coven was etched...
"I don't know if I do have answers."
"Well, maybe you can start with something simple." Demyx's tone was gentle, cajoling--but with a level of distrust to it, too. It pained Zexion, to hear that in Demyx's voice...Demyx who had once been so kind and trusting, so naive and easily swayed...
It was clear that Demyx had changed. Zexion wasn't sure if he liked this change or not.
"Simple...?" He lifted his head, somewhat, so that Demyx's legs dangling over the edge of the bed became visible. It seemed that Demyx had sat up again, and was surveying Zexion intently...though Zexion wouldn't look up to see. "And you mean...?"
"Your name, for one thing. What the hell is it? 'Zexion', or 'Ienzo'?" A sullen note had slipped into Demyx's voice, which comforted Zexion a bit; this was more familiar.
Since he saw no way out of this, he decided to answer--truthfully. "Ienzo is my real name."
"Then why'd you make me call you 'Zexion'?" said Demyx, the sulkiness morphing into a miffed tone. Even better...Zexion could deal with this childishly huffing Demyx. Not the disapproving, distrusting Demyx...
"Pureblood vampires, as a general rule, do not reveal their real names to anyone--human or vampire--outside their coven," replied Zexion flatly, deciding to teach Demyx what Axel apparently never had. There was no harm in it; Demyx would never be able to use the information against him. That he was sure of.
And besides...Demyx wasn't exactly an enemy, now, was he?
"Why?" So full of questions. That was good, though; at least Zexion could answer these questions.
"If a slayer...or any other vampire, for that matter...knows a vampire's real name...he can use it against the vampire. There are...spells of controlling. Uncovering a pureblood's true name is one way of mastering him," explained Zexion, wincing inside when he said the word mastering. Axel's memory was still too recent, too painful...
Idly, he wondered what Demyx would think if he found out what Zexion had done to Axel...to Roxas...
"Does that mean you trust me, then?" Zexion jerked up, surprised, meeting Demyx's eyes for the first time. Demyx's expression was serious, his mouth set in a firm line of conviction. "If you're willing to tell me your real name. Does that mean you trust me?"
"Hardly," replied Zexion with a scoff, turning away from Demyx and trying to pretend that he'd made the gesture out of irritation, not because he was...disturbed...by the fierce quality to Demyx's eyes. "There's just no point in hiding it anymore, after you heard the Superior call me by my true name..."
"Oh." Demyx sounded disappointed, and Zexion almost turned back to face the slayer again--but managed to hold himself in check. "Of course. I see. Of course you don't trust me. Zexion or Ienzo or whatever it is you want me to call you now. You hate me, don't you?"
"What?" Zexion gave way to his instincts--he turned to face Demyx, startled, no longer bothering to maintain the uninterested facade. "N-no! That's not true, Demyx--"
"Yeah, it is," replied Demyx, his tone bitter, his expression hard. "Isn't it? Didn't you tell me you hated me, when I said--when I told you--with the butterfly--"
"No!" cried Zexion, shaking his head, ignoring the hair that flew into his eyes. "I didn't...I didn't feel for you the same way that you did for me...I still don't...but that doesn't have to mean I hate you. I can like you, without liking you in that way."
Damn it, Demyx the simplistic idiot. Really, Zexion should have been expecting this...
"Okay, maybe that doesn't count," conceded Demyx, jerking his shoulder in a shrug. "But you can't deny it...the other time. When--when Xaldin was kidnapping me. You didn't come to help me. Why's that? It must be because you hate me, right? I bet you were laughing your ass off, back there in the alley, while I was dangling up there scared out of my wits--"
"No!" Zexion didn't even know what he was saying anymore, and he didn't care. He just had to--had to--make Demyx see, had to make him understand--just what the hell was Demyx saying, he didn't know, but it was scaring the hell out of him. "That's not--that isn't true! Demyx, I don't hate you! And I didn't help you because I hated you. I was...I was trying to cloak my presence from Xaldin, please, youv'e got to understand, Demyx, please..."
"Wow, you've even got an excuse cooked up for me," said Demyx, still in that horrible bitter tone, a humorless smirk twisting his features. "But Zexion, as dumb as you might think I am, I'm not so stupid I'd fall for that...I mean, why would you even want to hide from Xaldin in the first place? He's part of your coven, isn't he? He's your comrade. You shouldn't have to hide from him."
"I--you don't understand!" shouted Zexion, unable to keep his rising desperation from his voice. He'd never seen Demyx like this before...so bitter and cold...this wasn't Demyx, Demyx who smiled and laugh and, above all else, forgave. He'd thought that Demyx would have forgiven him the instant he cleared up things about what had happened that night. He didn't think that Demyx would...would do this. "I didn't want to return, then. If...if Xaldin had found me, I would have been taken back to the coven. And punished. Punished for...for having allowed myself to get captured."
"That's a stupid reason to punish anyone for anything," snapped Demyx, and for a moment Zexion hoped that Demyx's old self--always so kind and caring, and concerned with justice--had returned. But then Demyx continued, in as bitter a tone as before, "I don't believe it. Nope. You gotta lie better than that, Zexion, Ienzo, whichever you prefer."
"I'm not lying," gasped Zexion, feeling for all the world like he was drowning. Not in Demyx's intoxicating scent, but in...in a dark sea of misgivings and misunderstandings, a dark sea of Demyx's anger and distrust. He hadn't expected this. Never in a million years. He hadn't expected his and Demyx's reunion to be like this...he'd expected it to be happy, for Demyx to thank Zexion in his cheerful voice like sunlight sparkling on the sea, to thank Zexion for doing everything he'd done just for Demyx's sake...
He hadn't expected all of this...this...ingratitude! Yes, that was right, it couldn't be anything but ingratitude. Demyx was being a flaming ingrate, mocking of all of Zexion's desperate efforts like this. Why had Zexion half-turned Axel's student? Why had he killed Axel? Why had he taken a ship all the way North, why had he waited impatiently for the Northern Coven to reach a decision, why had he even tolerated being betrayed?
The answer was simple: For Demyx.
All of that for Demyx's sake. All of that torment, all of the shit and the pain and everything. He'd done so much, struggled so hard to be where he was now, standing before Demyx...
And instead of gratitude, he'd instead received bitterness and snark. It was enough to make Zexion choke on the indignity of it all.
Choke, he didn't. But he felt his knees begin to tremble, felt his limbs go weak, his head spin and lurch dangerously. He was surprised he was even still standing, surprised he could even still draw breath (though why, he didn't know--it was merely wafting more of Demyx's hideously inviting scent in his direction), given the enormous lump now clogging his throat. Surprised he could even still stare in broken hurt at Demyx, even as his vision blurred and a horrible stinging sensation began to build behind his eyelids...
"Liar, liar," sang Demyx, the cruel notes of his voice piercing like icy arrows through Zexion's heart. Numbly, Zexion remembered once asking Demyx to make music for his sake...but he'd never expected this. This mocking, childish song, the harsh words sung in a heart-breakingly beautiful and clear voice. "Pants on fire, hanging from a telephone wire..."
Zexion wanted to collapse right then and there, collapse and never rise again. Hell, he'd "lived" for almost a century, wasn't that enough? But he didn't. He did sink to his knees, his trembling legs no longer able to support his weight, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps that were beginning to sound more and more like sobs. The stinging wetness behind his eyes was becoming too much to bear, so he blinked to clear it--only to feel something hot and wet roll down his cheeks.
The hell? He was...crying? He couldn't be...that...affected by Demyx's lack of gratitude, could he? But he couldn't stop, no matter how much he raged and snarled at himself, Who cares, it's just Demyx for fuck's sake! He couldn't stop shaking and probably looking like the biggest idiot in the world, just on his knees and crying and not doing anything about it, not even trying to wipe his tears off because he still couldn't believe what was happening--
"Nah nah nah nah..." Demyx had been singing, but suddenly his voice changed, acquiring a strong tinge of concern. Became more familiar. "Zexion--hey, Zexy--oh, shit! Hey, hey, don't cry--"
"Damn it, you bastard. Demyx, you bastard, you bastard, you bastard," repeated Zexion over and over again, senselessly, seizing for something to anchor on, to prevent himself from drowning in the sea of his ignominous crying. That something, pathetically enough, was calling Demyx a "bastard".
Well, he is, thought a disgruntled part of the incubus.
Then, before Zexion could figure out what was happening, a pair of arms had been thrown over his neck, and he was pulled into a tight, suffocating hug. Zexion gasped, startled by the suddenness of the gesture, and reminded for a flash of that incident earlier, when Demyx had first thrown himself at Zexion and wailed about how wonderful it was to see Zexion again...and Zexion had rudely reacted by kicking Demyx and snarling at him.
No wonder Demyx was angry...
Demyx wasn't angry now, though. He was still holding Zexion tightly, burying Zexion's face into his shirt and not seeming to mind that Zexion was staining it with his tears. It felt...nice...like this. Not because Zexion was so close to potential food, but...but he was quite sure he'd never been held or comforted like this before in all his life...maybe before, in the other life...but it had been so long ago that he could no longer remember how it felt, to be held in strong, warm, arms while a comforting hand patted him on the back, and a soft voice, sweet like music, whispered apologies and kind words into his ear...
For a moment--just a moment, at the very least--Zexion allowed himself to give in. Give in to the overwhelming desire to just be held, in Demyx's powerful but gentle grip, to just bury his face into Demyx's chest and clutch the fabric of Demyx's shirt with his claws, as he shook from sobs and Demyx continued to comfort him...
"It's okay, Zexy. Don't cry. I'm sorry, I really am, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for being such a--such a--bastard. Please don't cry..."
Demyx was rocking him now, back and forth, with a gentle rhythm that matched the song he'd started humming, a wordless song that sounded like a lullaby. Zexion huddled closer to Demyx, wanting more of the slayer's body warmth, a warmth that invigorated the vampire's death-cold limbs and incited a deep longing somewhere in the hollow of his chest where his heart was frozen like ice...a longing for more than blood, but for warmth of his own...
...to be alive...
"Shh, Zexion. No more crying, okay? I'm sorry. I see now...you're telling the truth. You've got to be." Zexion wasn't sure if Demyx was just trying to appease him, or really meant what he was saying...but did it even matter? Nothing mattered to Zexion anymore, save Demyx's delicious warmth...a warmth that, Zexion realized to his surprise, had been enough to even dry up Zexion's remaining tears. Demyx's hands had risen to the back of Zexion's neck now, where they began teasing the delicate slate-blue hairs with a gentleness that sent shivers down Zexion's spine.
"D...Demyx..." choked out Zexion, when he trusted himself enough to speak with only a minimal quaver to his voice. Demyx drew Zexion closer to him, and Zexion had to momentarily stop breathing so he wouldn't inhale the overpowering smell of Demyx's blood...yes, he couldn't forget; no matter how wonderful Demyx's warmth was, he was still human and Zexion was still a vampire--a hungry vampire.
He wanted to warn Demyx to be careful--to not bring him closer--but wasn't sure how to if he wasn't breathing. Demyx rendered any response unnecessary, though, when he tilted Zexion's chin up with one finger and kissed the vampire, very gently, right on the lips.
"What is it, Zexy?" said Demyx, his voice soft when he pulled away, a gentle smile on his face. It was hard to believe that he'd been so...so cruel before, so callous and mocking...no, Zexion didn't want to think about it. Not about that. Now, he only wanted to think about here and now, about Demyx's beautiful warmth and his kind words...
"I..." Zexion began, struggling to speak without inhaling Demyx's scent; easier said than done. "I...Demyx, I...I was...I was searching for you...all that time and I..."
"Well, you found me, didn't I?" said Demyx with a little laugh, cutting off Zexion with another sweet kiss. Zexion almost leaned further into the kiss, almost made it deeper from his desire to taste more of Demyx--more of Demyx's clean sea-breeze scent--but managed to hold back. He knew he would never be able to contain his instincts if that happened.
"I did...I finally did. After everything...I found you." Zexion sighed, and rested his chin on Demyx's shoulder, content to just slump in Demyx's strong grip. "So much, I did so much, you don't even know...all for your sake."
"Ha, really? Am I really worth that much? Even to you?" When Zexion looked up at Demyx again, he saw that the slayer was smiling, an almost self-deprecatory light to his eyes.
"You think you wouldn't be?" replied Zexion in a low murmur, burying his face into Demyx's shirt again. Demyx responded to the gesture by moving one hand down to Zexion's back again, where it absently started rubbing circles through the fabric of Zexion's shirt, causing Zexion to shiver again for reasons he didn't quite understand. The other hand continued teasing the strands of hair at the base of Zexion's neck.
"Well, I don't know...I didn't think you liked me much..." said Demyx, now sounding awkward. "I mean..."
"I never said I didn't like you, Demyx. I only ever said I didn't love you," replied Zexion, starting to become annoyed at Demyx's obtuseness when it came to this subject. Well, at the very least Demyx wasn't snapping in that bitter tone anymore. Zexion would gladly take Demyx's whining over Demyx's harshness, any day.
"Gee, thanks," grumbled Demyx, sounding sullen. "That's the meanest compliment I've ever been paid, and believe me Zexy when I say I've been paid a lot of pretty mean compliments."
"I didn't intend for it to be mean," mumbled Zexion, nuzzling closer to Demyx's chest, where he could feel the slayer's heart beating, pumping his blood regularly through his veins...but no, he couldn't think about that. He would not. He had to hold his instincts in check, for Demyx's sake...
"Well, it is. You know that I love you, Zexy."
Zexion jerked, startled, at the admission--the first time Demyx had brought up his feelings after the night with the butterfly. Not that there had been many other "times" after that, but still...he'd thought Demyx would just drop that subject and bury it completely, as Zexion had resolved to do. Nothing good could come from Demyx's lust-mistaken-for-love, this Zexion knew, and he thought Demyx, idiotic as he might be, would know that too.
Except...was it really as simple as lust mistaken for love? Because the way Demyx said the words...with such firm conviction...
...and then the way Zexion felt for Demyx himself. It wasn't "love"--or rather...he wouldn't allow it to be love. It wasn't just because Zexion had gone for so long without love that he had no idea what to do when it finally came to him, but also...also because of Demyx's scent, still pressing down on him from all sides despite his valiant efforts to restrain his instincts.
There was no way he could love Demyx, even if he wanted to. Because the simple matter was that Demyx was human, and Zexion a vampire. And regardless of what popular fiction might claim, there was simply no way anything approximating love could emerge from such a relationship. Never...
"Demyx..." was all Zexion could think to say, his voice quiet, his head lowered. Demyx, however, lifted Zexion's chin again, so that they were eye-to-eye. So that Zexion could see the seriousness burning in Demyx's eyes, could see the conviction written all over the blonde slayer's features. He meant what he said. Every word.
That thought both frightened and comforted Zexion. Frightened him, because he knew Demyx wasn't being idle with his words about loving Zexion. Yet comforted him, because he knew Demyx wasn't being idle with his words.
"I know, I know, you probably think I'm deluded. Hell, I kind of think I'm deluded too. But now I don't really care," said Demyx, and the hand on Zexion's chin moved, so that it was carressing Zexion's cheek, pressing with an utmost gentleness so that Zexion felt the warmth, but no pain from the still healing bruises Axel had left behind...
"You see, Zexy," continued Demyx, and he leaned in and planted a kiss on Zexion's forehead, "when I just...when I saw you like that...all beautiful, and miserable, crying because of me...I realized. I don't care what you say, or Axel, or anyone in the whole damn world. I love you, Zexion. And I think I can love you enough for the both of us."
For a moment, Zexion was stricken with silence, unable to think, unable to do anything but sit in Demyx's arms while Demyx's words echoed in his ear, senseless yet meaning everything at the same time--I love you, Zexion. Enough for the both of us...
"I know it's crazy," said Demyx, and he laughed again, shaking his head. "I know I'm crazy. I don't care, though. It's okay, Zexy. You don't have to say you love me back. Just...just do me one favor, all right? Just don't...don't...don't try to tell me that I've been hoodwinked or whatever. Even if this isn't real, let me delude myself into thinking it is."
"I...ah..." Zexion couldn't think of what to say. Not when Demyx was smiling at him like that...a kind smile, sure, but also a sad smile, too, a resigned smile... It was completely different from the first time, that night in the park. There was no hope, now. Just resignation. Demyx knew the answer this time, and despite his best attempts at acting like it didn't matter, it was clear from the pain shining in Demyx's eyes, beneath the smile, that it was hurting him.
Zexion might not have loved Demyx, but he couldn't deny that he did care. He cared enough to hurt as well, when Demyx hurt.
He didn't know what to do, so he settled for the only thing he could--he leaned forward and kissed Demyx.
It was a brief kiss, just him pressing his lips to Demyx and then drawing away again, because Zexion was afraid of what would be incited within him if he let the kiss deepen. But Demyx tightened his grip on Zexion's hair, and before Zexion knew what was happening, he was being drawn into a deeper kiss, a kiss that Demyx pressed into with something near desperation, his tongue stabbing deep into Zexion's mouth, choking the vampire, startling him--
"Nhh Demyx--" he gasped when they pulled away, trying to warn Demyx to stop--
But Demyx wouldn't stop. He cut Zexion off with another kiss, just as powerful and hungry as the first. This time, Zexion tried to protest, pushing against Demyx's chest as the dizzying sensation of Demyx's tongue moving against his own assaulted him, as Demyx's powerful scent, so much richer now that he could taste Demyx's flavor, oppressed him...
It took Demyx a while to notice Zexion's protests; by the time he'd pulled out of a final savage kiss, he had maneuvered them both so Zexion was lying on the ground, Demyx clinging with one hand to Zexion's waist and the other on the side of Zexion's face. He stared down at Zexion, a rather stupid (but strangely endearing...) look of surprise on his face.
"Hey, what's the matter, Zex? We can do this without being in love, if that's what you were worrying about--"
"Hardly," snapped Zexion, a little more acidly than he intended. Then, in a gentler tone, he said, "It's...Demyx...I am...in case you haven't noticed...I'm not in the best of conditions...I...I'm afraid that if we...if we start...I won't...I mean...I'll..."
He shuddered, closing his eyes, not wanting to finish the sentence--trusting that Demyx would know what he had left unsaid. I'm afraid I'll eat you.
Wryly, Zexion wondered how any other pair of lovers had ever had the same problem--of one being afraid that he would consume the other. Then he reminded himself that he and Demyx weren't lovers, anyway.
"Huh?" Demyx blinked, looking confused, but then grinned--a large, happy-go-lucky that clashed violently with Zexion's own none-too-happy-go-lucky mood. "Oh! Is that all?"
Is that all? What the hell do you mean by that? thought Zexion, miffed, irritated at how Demyx was treating this like it was just a game...although Zexion couldn't deny that he quite liked the warmth of Demyx's hands on his waist and cheek. But no, he couldn't get into the mood--not now! "Demyx, please, this is serious..." he growled.
"You could control yourself back then, couldn't you," insisted Demyx, that stupid grin still on his face. "Then you can control yourself now, Zexy. I'll stay alert this time, I promise. I won't let anything happen to me."
"It's not...don't be...oh, you idiot!" huffed Zexion darkly, trying to squirm away from Demyx--but he couldn't stop Demyx from standing up...and taking Zexion with him.
Zexion struggled instantly, thrashing as Demyx picked him up as easily as if he was just a sack of potatoes, or something even lighter--probably, he was, thought Zexion darkly. But Demyx didn't put Zexion down, even as Zexion twisted and turned and hit Demyx in the chest and tried to get Demyx to drop him. Sure, it would hurt if he fell...but anything was better than being carried like a child by--by Demyx of all people.
"Put me down!" snarled Zexion. "Stop carrying me, damn it--ahh!"
"Your wish is my command, Princess," said Demyx, winking at Zexion as he deposited Zexion on to the bed. Zexion immediately tried rolling away from Demyx, only to be stopped by an arm being planted in his way. The incubus glared up at Demyx, trying to infuse his gaze with as much homicidal intent as possible. Without trying to look like he wanted to commit that homicide by biting into Demyx's neck.
Demyx responded with an even wider grin. "You don't have to worry, Zexion. I know you can do this."
"No, you don't," growled Zexion, turning away and closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Demyx's stupid grin. "How could you understand...? How could you understand the sensation of burning, of burning deep inside and knowing that the one thing that will quench that fire is standing right before you? And how easy it would be, for you to reach up and--and just take it..."
He trailed off at the end, unable to think of anything else to say...unable to put the sensations blazing within him to words. He couldn't explain his hunger. It just was. But he doubted Demyx would ever understand...at least until he was lying dead, bleeding on the floor while Zexion loomed over him...
Zexion's entire being revolted against the image in an instant. No! He couldn't think it, as close as it might be coming to happening...as much as Demyx seemed to be begging for it!
"Oh, Zexy, I think I understand perfectly," said Demyx, still grinning as idiotically as ever--but that grin had acquired a different quality, a quality that was more...oh. Oh no, no. "'Cause let me tell you, that's the way I'm feeling right now!"
"You pervert!" snarled Zexion, writhing as Demyx bent over him, to deliver him a kiss to the cheek. "Are you willing to risk your life--for this?"
"Who says I'm risking my life?" Demyx's weight plopped on to the bed beside Zexion, and against his will Zexion turned to face the still-smiling slayer, seeing not only the lustful smile but something else...a fierce confidence shining from the depths of Demyx's ocean-blue eyes, like a shaft of light striking a deep reef... "Listen, Zexion...I love you. I don't say that lightly. I love you. And I know you care about me too. Maybe not the same way..."
Zexion was no longer aware of anything. Not the cold walls of the room around him, not the rumpled sheets beneath his body--he was aware of nothing but Demyx. Demyx, smiling such a trusting smile; Demyx, his eyes so confident; Demyx, his hands moving, now, one to encircle Zexion's waist, the other reaching to Zexion's hair, brushing back the fringe that Zexion always kept over his eye...
"I know that you care enough not to harm me. I know you're stronger than your instincts. I know you can do this. You can overcome this, Zexion. I know you can. I know you enough to know that you'd never let me get hurt in any way. Zexy. Ienzo. I know."
How could he sound so confident...? Zexion swallowed dryly, never breaking eye contact with Demyx, aware that he'd begun trembling... He couldn't speak. He couldn't speak. He could only stare, and wonder.
Demyx just smiled again, and added, now sounding almost shy, "I mean, if it's okay with you, Zexion."
Zexion couldn't believe Demyx could sound so...abashed...after before being so confident. But, he reflected idly, as he reached up and linked his hands around Demyx's neck, drawing himself into a deep and passionate kiss that Demyx returned near instantly, that was just one of the many things Zexion liked about Demyx.
He pressed slowly in the kiss, not wanting to miss a single second of--of this. Of Demyx. Of Demyx's beautiful sea-salt, ocean-breeze scent, overwhelming him, but in a different way than before. A different hunger, stirring in a different place. His hands buried into Demyx's hair, while Demyx's hands tightened around Zexion's waist, and together they ravished each other's mouths, drinking in each other's flavors, Zexion lost in a din of sensations he couldn't quite comprehend but knew he enjoyed as Demyx's tongue moved within his mouth.
It was so...different...from before. Before, he'd always been the one in control. Even if he was the one on bottom, he always held the reins--Demyx knew that. But now, this time, he was giving in to Demyx's control, allowing Demyx's hands to move as they please, enjoying the somewhat odd sensations his hunger incited within him. Queasy sensations in his stomach, that both electrified and terrified him at the same time. He pushed the fear aside, however, and resolved to enjoy this. Surprising, how he'd become so confident in his own ability to control his hunger...
Demyx's mouth had moved now, down, leaving trails of gentle yet desperate kisses down the pale skin of Zexion's neck. One by one he felt the bandages Vexen had so painstakingly applied being peeled off...felt Demyx's tongue trace the fading bruises left by Axel...felt Demyx's hands move now to the waistband of Zexion's pants...
"Axel," murmured Demyx, his voice low and sounding preoccupied. Zexion jerked, startled.
"What...?"
"Axel...he did this, didn't he...?" The gentle brush of Demyx's fingers (one hand having moved up from Zexion's waist) against the now saliva-coated marks. Zexion shuddered at the sensations the gesture incited, how sensitive the skin had become... "You have a lot of injuries on you, Zex, was it--"
Zexion had had enough of this. He'd already decided that he wasn't going to tell Demyx about Axel until--well, until the time was right. On his own terms. Not now. To do so now would ruin the enjoyment of the moment. So before Demyx could continue, Zexion very deliberately reached over and delivered Demyx's package a good squeeze.
"Oop! Hey! Whoa! Zexy--" Demyx's voice trailed off into a content whine, and he bent down again, returning to his ministrations on Zexion's neck. Zexion, pleased, turned his head to the side, exposing more of his neck to Demyx. The slayer eagerly took on the invitation, marking with even more eagerness than ever before...Zexion squeezed his eyes shut, losing himself in the pleasure, the beauty of it all--
"M-more, Demyx," he mumbled, barely conscious of what he was saying. He was aware of still clinging on to Demyx's neck with one hand, while the other rested on Demyx's waist. Demyx obliged, re-marking the pale skin of Zexion's neck with an even more ferocious intentness, sometimes even nipping the delicate skin, prompting tiny gasps of delight from Zexion.
"You still wanna eat me, Zexy?" whispered Demyx, the playful words tickling and hot against Zexion's ear. Zexion, to his surprise, responded with a laugh.
"No."
And he didn't. There was still Demyx's scent, as overwhelming as ever...but different. He no longer wanted it quite the same way. Wanted Demyx quite the same way. How could he view Demyx as food now, when Demyx was kissing him so beautifully, his every touch gliding like surf against sand on Zexion's cold skin...?
Zexion knew the spell wouldn't last. Knew that it was just a combination of hormones and adrenaline and perhaps a bit of his powers as well. When it was over...the hunger would return, a hundred times worse than before. But for now...he'd push it aside. And enjoy Demyx, with everything he had.
"Ha ha ha, that's good. 'Cause I wanna eat you, Zexion," said Demyx, with his laugh like sparkling sunlight, and pulled Zexion into another kiss.
Good thing, because Zexion had been about to retort with something along the lines of "Snerk not clever."
They broke apart from the kiss, Zexion's head spinning--but greater excitements awaited. Demyx's hands had already moved to the front of Zexion's shirt, unbuttoning it...exposing all the bandages Vexen had applied to the injuries Axel had left behind. Zexion turned to the side, squeezing his eyes shut, the fire-that-was-not-hunger within him now tempered by shame. Demyx could see...everything. Zexion had nothing left to hide. Would Demyx still want him, beaten and battered as he was? What Demyx wanted, he knew, was perfection, a creature pale and innocent as moonlight...
Butu Demyx didn't seem to care about Zexion's multiple injuries, though his eyes narrowed somewhat and his mouth seemed to be moving to form the name, "Axel." Once more, Zexion stopped Demyx, squeezing tighter with the hand on Demyx's neck and shutting Demyx up with another passionate kiss.
"Shh," he whispered when he pulled away, Demyx bearing another stupid-but-endearing look of surprise on his face. "Don't talk, Demyx. Just...just let it happen."
And for further insurance, Zexion began to unleash his powers.
Slowly, bit by bit...drawing up an illusion of a quiet and dark night pressing on all sides around them. Zexion wasn't quite sure if Demyx would appreciate this illusion, but Zexion knew he would. How he'd missed the silence of being alone in the dead of night, with only the cold light of distant galaxies turning slowly above him...
This time, it would be different, though. This time, he wouldn't be alone.
Demyx had finished unbuttoning Zexion's shirt--not tearing roughly like Axel would have, but taking his time, his every motion gentle and controlled--and was now running a hand down Zexion's chest, pausing sometimes to pick at the bandages but never removing them. He didn't seem to mind Zexion's injuries, occasionally even emitting little coos of sympathy when he encountered some of Zexion's more severe wounds.
Demyx's sympathy did nothing more than annoy Zexion, though. That wasn't what he wanted...what he needed. Snarling his discontent, he tightened his grip on the back of Demyx's neck, while the other hand reached for the zipper of Demyx's pants.
"Whoa! Hey, not so fast, Zexy--"
"You wanted this, didn't you, you idiot?" grumbled Zexion. Judging by the way Demyx was looking at him, though, it seemed that Demyx found Zexion's irritation somehow the most attractive thing on this side of the universe. Then again, Zexion supposed that his powers were beginning to take effect...making him seem enticing to Demyx no matter what he said or did. No matter his multiple injuries...
"Oh, Zexion. You're so...sexy," mumbled Demyx, tracing the curve of Zexion's jaw with one finger--for some reason, Zexion shivered at the gesture even though there was nothing sexual to it. But then, a crease appeared between Demyx's eyebrows, and a perturbed frown appeared on his face.
"No fair, Zexion. Using your powers again...?"
"What, you don't want to enjoy this?" said Zexion, lowering his voice to a seductive whisper as he gently teased Demyx's pants zipper down.
"I can enjoy this without you using your powers, you know," retorted Demyx, sounding miffed, though his hand moved down, now stroking the curve of Zexion's neck...Zexion swallowed back a moan, surprised at how that simple gesture was enough to incite strange jolts of electricity somewhere in the pit of his stomach...
"You don't appreciate my illusion...?" said Zexion, tilting his head to the side to offer more of his neck to Demyx, all the while his hands were busy with pulling Demyx's pants down.
"Oh, no, hell, no. I do." Demyx's voice cut off for a moment when he resumed kissing and nipping the already-bruised skin of Zexion's neck. This time, Zexion didn't bother hiding his moan--it felt strangely good, how Demyx's tongue glided over the sensitive flesh, setting the bruises on fire... "I do, Zexy...I do. But look, don't--I mean, don't try--with you--"
Demyx was becoming incoherent from pleasure, which Zexion didn't mind. Speaking would only ruin his enjoyment of the moment...both of their enjoyments. Zexion leaned forward and kissed Demyx again, pressing against the slayer's mouth with a desperate passion as Demyx, understanding what Zexion wanted, now began to unzip Zexion's pants as well. Zexion, for his part, became absorbed in removing Demyx's pants more fully, all the while kissing Demyx, over and over again, drinking in the slayer's potent flavor--
He pulled away from Demyx when the slayer emitting a very loud squeal--understandable, since Zexion had just taken Demyx's growing erection in his hand and delivered it a firm squeeze.
"Ahh--Zexy--!" cried Demyx, flushing bright red as he stiffened under Zexion's grip. Zexion merely gave Demyx a brief, playful wink.
"Why so apprehensive, Demyx? Weren't you the one who initiated this?" he said, his voice teasing, seductive, reaching up with his other hand and teasing a few strands of Demyx's messy blonde hair. "Don't tell me you don't want to go all the way...?"
"What? Of course I do!" said Demyx quickly, looking offended. But only for an instant. Then, a smile imbued with playfulness to match Zexion's spread across his face, and then without any further ado, he pulled Zexion into another kiss--while his hands flew down to the waistband of Zexion's pants again, and pulled them down, exposing all that Zexion had to offer.
If Zexion had been excited before...he let himself fall even further into the pleasure this time, arching his back and moaning as Demyx's hands slipped to wrap around Zexion's hips, the slayer's warm fingers digging into the half-healed bruises. It hurt, somewhat, having his healing injuries being aggravated like this...but at the same time it felt good. Along with a host of other sensations Zexion could no longer comprehend, too lost in the comforting dark of his own illusion...in the fire that Demyx's every touch could incite...
Demyx was at his neck again, sucking on the bruises with a passionate intentness, the cold sensations of his tongue against the injured skin causing quivers of pleasure to shoot through Zexion's body. Zexion was now making no effort to hide his pleasure, responding to every movement of Demyx's tongue with a helpless half-gasp, half-moan. He was sure he'd never enjoyed sex so much...
...there was certainly something to this whole "submission" thing...
Then, as Demyx arrived at the tattoo etched in the hollow of Zexion's neck, he bit with a rough motion that startled Zexion, causing him to jolt upright (well, as much as he could with Demyx still pinning him down) and stare in wide-eyed shock at Demyx. Demyx just smiled--a smile imbued with lustful intent--and swirled a finger through the dark red blood that had welled from the bite.
Zexion relaxed, taking in a deep breath...Demyx would never hurt him. And the instant he breathed, he understand what Demyx had done--the smell of Zexion's own blood invaded his senses, repulsing him and drowning out the quivering of Demyx's blood that Zexion could still sense. He almost drew away from Demyx, so repulsed by his own blood that he was, but Demyx's grip tightened around Zexion's shoulder and he drew the incubus closer, into another ravishing kiss, while his fingers danced down from Zexion's shoulder to the already-healing puncture wounds from where Zexion had stabbed himself earlier...
It was the strangest sensation in the world, kissing Demyx and drinking in Demyx's beautiful clear presence even as Zexion's own dark scent welled around him, filling his stomach with twin warring sensations of passion and disgust. He whimpered a little, disliking the loss of contact when Demyx drew away from the kiss--but Demyx just winked at him and replaced his mouth with three of his fingers.
Zexion knew exactly what Demyx wanted, and gave it to the slayer, sucking with undisguised passion on the slayer's fingers as they explored his mouth, even daring to brush against his fangs for one electrifying second. That second was enough to cause something dark and dangerous to leap within Zexion's stomach, quick as a striking viper, and he stopped sucking, horrified in himself--horrified by the sudden and overpowering urge to just bite the fingers still digging into the inside of his mouth, waiting expectantly--
"Huh? What's wrong, Zexy?" Demyx's voice sounded distant, as if it was floating across miles of ocean to his ears. But it was enough--the strong clear tone of the slayer's voice was enough to snap Zexion out of his momentary dark urges.
He resumed sucking, coating Demyx's fingers with his saliva, until Demyx withdrew his fingers one-by-one. He was smiling again, his beautiful smile that seemed to pierce into Zexion's iced-over heart like a powerful beam of sunlight, almost made him feel that...that for one too-brief moment, his heart was beating again, pumping warm blood through his frozen veins...
"I love you, Zexion. My Zexion. My tainted, my beautiful, my Zexion..." whispered Demyx, the soft words carressing Zexion's ears, meaning nothing, yet electrifying his soul like nothing else had that night. The queasy sensations churned stronger deep in the pit of his abdomen, and for the first time, he became aware of how hard he was, how desperately he was throbbing...how he wanted nothing but Demyx, all of Demyx--
"I know," whispered Zexion, and his words trailed off into a drawn-out, half-scream, half-moan, when Demyx slid all three now-slick fingers deep within Zexion.
Zexion was lost. He knew nothing. Nothing but his own hands entangled in Demyx's hair, nothing but the gasps and mewls bursting forth from his lips as Demyx stretched him, scissoring his fingers back and forth, opening him luxuriously on all sides. Best of all, he knew that better things were only ahead--and that knowledge invigorated him even more.
The darkness pressed down, further, swallowing them in its comforting embrace--the light of a million distant stars rained down upon them--
Demyx pulled out, after having stretched Zexion to his satisfaction. Zexion emitted a discontent whimper when Demyx pulled out, but Demyx just smiled--again, that beautiful smile, that warm smile--and tightened his grip on Zexion's shoulder, while the other moved to Zexion's hip, hoisted himself up, and--
If Zexion hadn't been lost before...
He was all gone now. Everything was gone. The world. The hunger. Xemnas. Axel. Roxas. His own past, his own self. Gone to the beautiful sensation of Demyx, all of Demyx, pushing deeper and deeper into Zexion and causing Zexion to choke and gasp and moan and shiver in delight that he couldn't contain...he felt almost as if he was going to explode from the pleasure of it all...
He had no idea. No idea that sex could ever feel this wonderful. Before, he'd always used it as a tool, as a means to an end, never delighting in the act but in the outcome--in the manipulation--but now, now that Demyx was pounding into him, into his delicious tight warmth, he couldn't believe that there could ever be anything better than this, than being held, and dominated, and set afire--and loved--
Darkness, swirling thicker and tighter around them, so that Zexion could no longer tell if he was opening or closing his eyes anymore--everything was all the same shade of black, interrupted only by the cool and gentle gaze of the stars above. He clung tighter to Demyx, inhaling the slayer's scent, a scent that caused every nerve within the incubus to blaze with a fire that had nothing to do with hunger, and everything to do with a growing tight sensation in the pit of his stomach...
The darkness. The stars. The pleasure, the clarity, the fire, the ocean-breeze wafting from Demyx, the darkness and bloodied violets from himself. The softness of Demyx's sweat-soaked hair twisted in his fingers. The strength of Demyx's grip on his hip and on his shoulder...the stinging from his healing wounds. The sensation of Demyx hitting that sweet spot, over and over again, causing Zexion's vision to burst into a haze of starlight--
And then, with a great, shuddering gasp, Zexion came, spilling his essence all over his stomach with a bursting sensation that felt like floodgates shattering, like a dam breaking, like all of the griefs and joys of his life were escaping in one great torrent...
Demyx came soon after, shouting Zexion's name, all of Zexion's names--Zexy, Zexion, Ienzo, my broken butterfly--and Zexion convulsed when he felt an unbearable warmth shooting through his tight confines. A few more thrusts to ride out his orgasm--Zexion felt them all, every motion, and moaned accordingly--and then Demyx pulled out, breathing hard. He met Zexion's eyes, his hair loose and plastered by sweat all over his forehead, face flushed, looking more exhilarated than Zexion had ever seen him.
"You didn't eat me, now, did you?" he said, his grin becoming abashed, a cheerful light dancing across his bright blue eyes, like sunlight across the ocean.
For a dazed moment, Zexion had no idea what Demyx was talking about--but then realized. Chuckling quietly, feeling amused for some arcane reason, he shook his head.
"I suppose I didn't."
"I wanna eat you, though," said Demyx, the light in his eyes now a mischievous one, and before Zexion could ask just what the hell Demyx meant, he felt a sharp stinging sensation in the crook of his neck--the sensation of saliva mingling with blood. Zexion turned, alarmed, but then saw that Demyx was eagerly lapping up the blood from where he'd bit, in the very center of Zexion's coven tattoo...
"Mm...you're blood's...really cold," said Demyx, looking somewhat perturbed when he pulled away, wiping the blood from his mouth with a gesture that sent that same queasy-but-electrifying sensation shooting through Zexion's stomach again.
"Why shouldn't it be?" replied Zexion, trying to return his voice to its old bored indifference, but failing--he still wasn't able to keep the breathless quality out of his voice. "It's not like my heart is even pumping anything..."
"Yeah, but it's still kind of weird," said Demyx with a shrug. "Doesn't taste bad, though."
Clearly, Demyx was delusional. The only tasty blood in the room was, well...throbbing beneath Demyx's skin, lending it such a beautiful pink flush in stark contrast to Zexion's white coldness...
Zexion shook his head angrily, realizing that the previous hunger had now been sated--by the beautiful sensation of giving up control and allowing Demyx to move within him--and now the old hunger had returned. With a vengeance. He turned to the side, feeling oddly drained, letting the comforting darkness and starlight drift slowly away from him, until the room, with his cold, stark concrete walls, and the rumpled and stained bedsheets returned.
Demyx was still beside him, his presence as warm and inviting as always. Zexion didn't look back at Demyx, trusting that Demyx understood him enough not to speak. And Demyx didn't. He just remained by Zexion's side, one hand resting on Zexion's arm, pressing not painfully, but with a gentle sort of insistence...directly on the drying blood crusted over the wounds Zexion had inflicted on himself, earlier...
Somehow, that simple gesture of Demyx's comforted the incubus. His hunger might still be burning, but it felt strangely lessened now, despite his current close physical proximity to the slayer. Mostly, he felt satisfied. Satisfied that he had found Demyx again...satisfied that he'd cleared everything up with the laughing blonde slayer...
He felt, almost, that he could handle anything now. Almost.
Yeah...think that speaks for itself...
Expect slower updates in the future, due to not having written the seventeenth chapter and the parents putting insane pressure on yours truly to study for the SAT. Can anyone think of anything appropriate for the initials to stand for...? Like, "Stupid Awful Test", but a little more clever than that... Anyway, chapter sixteen is called "Awakening", and returns to Roxas, after I neglected him for, what...two, three, chapters already?
Forgive! He didn't deserve forgiveness for what he'd done. It was his fault, his fault entirely. So what if he'd been under the control of the vampire at the time (as he suspected Axel would claim if he was able to defend Roxas now...)? It was Roxas's fault for even falling for the vampire's ruse in the first place. How could he have just stood there feeling sorry for Zexion as the vampire wove his web of manipulative lies over Roxas? Feeling sorry for a vampire! He shouldn't have. He should have listened to Axel when Axel had snapped at him, "He's only a vampire! He's just manipulating you!"
Long preview for your happiness. In the meantime, read and review!