Misadventures in Overland Chapter Four

Of Kitchens and Chaos

Author's Note-As promised, here is a chapter devoted to Stayne and the children. Hope you like it.

Stayne was sure that the gods were laughing at him. It was the only explanation he could think of for why his day had been nothing but pure chaos from the moment he woke up. Actually, he reflected ruefully, he had not been woken up as much as shocked awake by a six year old whirling dervish.

Katarina had come bounding into the bedroom, and with a flying leap, landed on his stomach, knocking the wind out of him and shocking him into consciousness. He gasped sharply, and then glared at her. "Katarina Stayne! What in Time do you think you are doing?"

Katarina had grinned at him. "You need to wake up Daddy. Michael is trying to crawl into the cupboards."

Stayne gaped at her and bolted out of bed, running towards the kitchen. Sure enough, Michael had partially disappeared inside the large cupboard under the sink. Stayne snatched him up, then grabbed a rag from the sink and wiped off the cobwebs that coated Michael's face. Michael squirmed in protest. Stayne turned to Katarina. "How long have you two been awake?"

Katarina looked down at the floor and shuffled her feet. "Well, you see, Daddy I wanted to surprise you…."

Stayne looked at her, confused. "Surprise me with…" his voice suddenly trailed off as he finally noticed the state the kitchen was in. Pots and pans were strewn all over the floor, and the cold cupboard was wide open. Someone, and Stayne had a rather good idea who, had dragged a chair over to the cupboard and pulled out some eggs. Stayne sighed as he noticed several of the eggs had smashed on the counter below. Also spread out on the counter was what appeared to be the smashed remnants of scones. Stayne turned and glared at Katarina, who shuffled her feet even more. "Katarina Stayne, what were you doing?"

Katarina mumbled quietly, and Stayne sighed. "Look at me and speak up."

Katarina slowly looked up at him, remorse in her gaze. "Well, I wanted to make breakfast for everyone, and I know you like eggs, so I was going to make you some, only they got all smashed, and I couldn't figure out how to work the stove, and then Michael started crawling everywhere, and I threw a scone at him, but it got dirty, so I tried to wash it off, and it got all squishy, and…"

"Katarina." Stayne said quietly. Katarina stopped her rambling and looked abashed.

"Sorry, Daddy." She whispered. Stayne smiled.

"That's alright; your mother is a rambler too. But I do have some questions to ask. First, why was Michael in the kitchen in the first place?"

"I wanted him to help. I know he's only a baby, but I thought maybe he could pull out the pans I needed." Katarina smiled at her brother. "He's a real good helper, Daddy. Honest."

Stayne sighed. "I'm sure he is, but honey, you're both too little to be in the kitchen without an adult. You could have come and woken me up. I would have loved to make breakfast with you two."

Katarina looked confused. "But Momma said that you could burn water." Stayne frowned.

"Well, that might be true, but that still does not mean you are allowed in this kitchen without me or your Momma. Is that perfectly clear?"

"Yes, Daddy." Katarina said quietly. Stayne smiled, and then knelt in front of her.

"Good. Now, I have an idea. Why don't the three of us go to Marmoreal's kitchens and ask Thackery if he can make us something special?"

Katarina's eyes lit up. "Really? I can go visit Thackery?" Stayne laughed. Katarina had been in awe of the Hare ever since she met him when she was a baby. Stayne was sure it was Thackery's chaotic nature that so appealed to her. He had vowed to someday tell Katarina the truth of why Thackery was the mad creature she was so awestruck by.

He was bought out of his reverie by Katarina tugging on his sleeve. "Come on, Daddy. We have to get to the kitchens early otherwise Thackery won't have any good stuff left!"

Stayne stood up, and grinned. "Well in that case, we had better hurry! We don't want to miss the good stuff!" He looked at Katarina, and sighed. "Katarina, you're still in your pajamas. Do you want to get dressed?"

Katarina grinned and shook her head. "I want to go just like this. I promise I'll get dressed after breakfast! Please let me wear my pajamas!" She gazed up at him with a pleading expression, and Stayne melted. "Very well. But would you object terribly to waiting while I get your brother dressed?"

"No, Daddy." Katarina said solemnly. Stayne grinned, and then turned to Michael. "What do you say, little lad? Would you like a fresh nappy?" Michael gurgled, and Stayne laughed. "I'll take that as a yes. Come on, then."

He went into the bedroom and placed Michael on the bedspread. Michael immediately began to crawl towards the edge of the bed, gurgling happily. Stayne, who had been looking under the bed for the box that Michael's nappies were in, looked up just in time to witness Michael teetering on the edge of the bed. He gave a sharp cry of shock, and scooped him up, depositing him once more in the middle of the bed. He pointed sternly at him. "STAY."

Michael blatted, and Stayne glared at him before kneeling down once again and dragging the box out from under the bed. He set it in the middle of the bed, then sighed and pulled Michael back from the edge once again. "What did I say?"

Michael burbled, and Stayne laughed. "That's right. Now, let's see what we can do about getting that nappy changed." He reached into the box and pulled out a fresh nappy and pins, then, sighing in resignation, pulled Michael back to the middle of the bed.

Twenty minutes later, the three of them walked into the kitchen at Marmoreal. Stayne immediately ducked as a large scone topped with cream came hurtling towards him. The scone smacked into the wall behind him with a loud SPLAT. Stayne turned and plucked the scone from the wall, and took a bite. "Very good, Thackery."

Thackery came out from behind the table and grinned madly at them. "It's me special recipe! It's got lots of berries and lots of sugar and it is so sweet! Spoon!" His gaze shifted over to Katarina, who giggled. "It's the young Stayne! Calloo! Callay!"

Katarina blushed. "Mr. Thackery, sir, could I please help make some scones?"

Thackery laughed. "Yes, of course! Helping would be very fun, and I could use a helper, and you would be quite welcome." He suddenly paused, and picking up a soup ladle that lay nearby, threw it towards Stayne, who dodged and caught the ladle in one hand. Thackery grinned at him. "Good catch."

Stayne grinned back. "Thanks. Now, can Michael and I come a bit further in, or would you like to throw more things at us?"

Thackery laughed, and then nodded. Katarina immediately ran over to where he stood and began to pull on the sack of flour that was on the counter. Thackery and Stayne watched, frozen, as the bag inched closer to the edge of the counter. Stayne, realizing that what was about to happen was inevitable, sighed, hoping that the bag was almost empty.

Unfortunately, this was not the case. The bag was nearly half full. It landed on Katarina's head with a dull thump, coating her in flour. In seconds, she looked like a small white statue. She blinked, and began to cry. "Daaaddddyyy!"

Stayne had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. He struggled to keep his face stern and straight. "Young lady, you are in big trouble. You should know better, after all…" he couldn't hold his laughter back anymore. "Little one, you look so silly!"

Katarina sniffled. "I'm not in trouble?" Stayne shook his head, still laughing. Katarina grinned. "Can I still help?" At Stayne's nod, she clapped her hands, creating a cloud of flour.

Stayne walked over to a slightly more peaceful part of the kitchen with Michael, watching in amusement as Katarina and Thackery began making scones. He had to admit; sometimes chaos had its moments.