Misadventures in Overland Chapter Nine

Time Marches On

Alice smiled as she watched Tarrant and Alannah glance around in wonder at the watches and clocks that adorned the walls and shelves of Sir Jeffrey's shop. Tarrant, who had gained a healthy respect for the power of Time since the lifting of his curse, was able to clearly see that Sir Jeffrey was in no danger of incurring the wrath of the powerful deity. All the time pieces were exquisitely made. Tarrant grinned at Sir Jeffrey. "I must say, these are absolutely frabjous watches, Sir Jeffrey."

Alannah, who had been admiring a watch carved to look like a diamond, nodded in agreement. "You have a genuine talent. I doubt I've ever seen any finer watches anywhere. You'd fit in perfectly in Underland, with skills like yours."

Sir Jeffrey smiled. "Thank you for those kind words, but I could never go to your world. I am a man of routine, and from what you told me the other day, routine is almost non existent there. Oh, I may dress eccentrically and have strange notions and ideas, and I love a good time as much as the next person, but I still must follow a daily routine. I would be most unhappy in Underland."

Alannah and Tarrant frowned at each other, a silent conversation passing between them. Being natives, they were more attuned to the ebb and flow of magic and madness that was a part of the very makeup of Underland, and they knew that it could easily overwhelm a human that was not prepared to handle the insanity. Alannah glanced over at Alice, smiling. She had proven to not only be able to handle the magic and madness, but she had willingly embraced it by pledging herself to one of the maddest residents in all of Underland. Alannah locked eyes with Tarrant, and he nodded his understanding. He turned to Sir Jeffrey, and grinned.

"Underland can be rather overwhelming to you Overlanders. You put so much emphasis up here on sanity and insanity. You seem to insist that if someone has a rather different view of things then that must mean that they are insane. The truth is, sanity and insanity are simply two sides of the same coin. Why, if insanity did not exist, sanity would not seem a great boon."

Alannah laughed. "Well said, Tarrant." She grinned wickedly. "And it's the insane that always come up with the sanest answers when asked ridiculously stupid questions. Right, Tarrant?"

Tarrant laughed, understanding her meaning. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone as flustered as that police officer."

Alice, who had overheard that last bit, frowned in consternation. "Police officer? When did this happen? Why were you being questioned by the police? What did you do?"

Alannah and Tarrant looked at each other and burst out laughing. When they had got themselves under control, Alannah answered. "Why, nothing. All I did was defend my honor against that slurvish brother in law of yours. It was two days ago, and I was in the library….

Alannah slowly ran her fingers along the spines of the books, reading aloud the names. She had a system-any name that she found intriguing, she would pull the book off the shelf and pile it on a nearby desk. So far, she had a large stack of nearly twenty books piled up. She decided to take a break and read a few of the books before her pile became too overwhelming. She turned the corner of the bookshelf to head back to the desk, and nearly collided with someone. She frowned deeply at the person. "Lowell. I'd think, that after what I did to ye before, you'd be avoiding me like the plague. Now, if you will excuse me, I have something important to do." She made to move past him, but he grabbed her arm in a rough grip. She glared at him. "I would advise you to remove your hand this instant, sir. I have a short temper at the best of times, and your accosting of me is not going to endear you to me."

Lowell smirked at her. "You may talk brave, and you may think you will be able to resist, but it has been my understanding that sooner or later, all women will eventually succumb. Why do you think I was able to so effectively carry on the way I have? None of the women would dare do anything about it, since they know that it would be my word against theirs. All I would have to do was spread a few rumours around, and they would be mine to control. So, Lady Alannah-if indeed you are a Lady, which I sincerely doubt, I will make this simple for you. All you have to do is allow me a few hours of pleasure. That's all I ask, and really, it's not much. Refuse and I will use every connection I have to dig up a sordid event in your past and cause your total ruination." He smirked deeper. "So, do we have a bargain?"

Alannah let her eyes turn completely red and she snarled at him. "We do not, ye slurking urpal slackush scrum! Ye seem tae ferget that I am not a simpering Overland woman. I am an Underlander. I have faced monsters that would make your worst nightmares seem like pleasant dreams in comparison. Your idle threats do nothing at all. So for the last time, remove your hand or I will." She grinned wickedly as he stubbornly shook his head. "Verra well."

She wrenched her arm out of his grip, placed her hands on his waist, and then shoved him as hard as she could. He went flying, landing hard against a bookshelf. He slumped, and Alannah grinned in triumph. "I did warn you, Manchester." She watched in amusement as he struggled to his feet, and then stumbled towards the door. When he reached it, he glared at her.

"You will regret that, I promise you." Alannah merely rolled her eyes.

"Empty threats from an empty person. Rage all you like, Manchester."

That had been three hours ago, and Alannah had promptly forgotten the incident. That is, until a maid had come into the library, and told her that a policeman was waiting outside to speak to her. Alannah frowned. "Why in Time would an Overland policeman wish to speak to me? Well, you might as well let him come in." The maid curtseyed, and returned a few moments later, accompanied by two men. Alannah grinned at Tarrant. "Are you here to make sure I'm safe from this police officer?"

Tarrant laughed. "Actually, I'm looking for a book for Alice. It's merely a coincidence that he's here too." He pointed to the officer, a big, burly man of about forty. The officer frowned.

"As I told you once before, I am here at the behest of Lowell Manchester, who has made a complaint against this young lady." He pointed at Alannah, and she smirked.

"So because I defend my honor against a slurvish bastard, I get a complaint made against me. That's worthy of Underland logic, that is."

Tarrant laughed. "That it is." He turned to the officer. "You may ask your questions."

The officer frowned. "I wasn't aware I needed your permission." He sighed at the insane grins that surfaced on Tarrant and Alannah's faces. 'These are some strange people'.

He sat down and pulled a notebook out of his back pocket, smiling gently at Alannah. "Now, I'm going to be easy on you, Miss. Might I have your name?"

Alannah smirked. "Why, don't you have one of your own?"

"Of course I do. It's Ryan."

Alannah grinned. "Then why would you ask if you can have my name? Really, it seems rather silly to ask me for use of my name when you have a perfectly good one of your own."

Officer Ryan sighed. "That is not what I meant."

"Then why did you ask it?' Alannah opened her eyes in mock understanding. "Did you perhaps want to know my name?"

Officer Ryan rubbed his temples. "Yes, that is what I was asking."

Alannah chuckled. "Well, why didn't you say so? Lady Alannah Stayne, Healer and Singer to Queen Mirana of Underland. I also am the Slayer of the Boojum, and wife to Lord Ilosivic Stayne, former Knave of Hearts."

Officer Ryan frowned at her. "You say the Queen's name is Mirana? Why do you think this?"

Alannah shook her head. "My Queen's name is Mirana. I know the Overland Queen is named Victoria. Frankly, if you are thinking I am confused, then you are quite mistaken. It would be extremely difficult to confuse our Queens."

Tarrant laughed in agreement. "That it would be."

Ryan blinked in confusion, then bravely plowed on. "Lord Manchester claims that you unjustly accosted him. He also claims that you insisted that you could do so without fear of reprisal from the law. Is that true?"

Alannah shook her head. "Well, no and yes. No, I did not accost him unjustly. I warned the guddlers scut that if he did not release me from his grip, then I would take matters into my own hands. Yes, I did tell him that any threat of reprisal would not have any effect on me. I'm not an Overlander, so I'm not bound by your laws. You actually have no right or cause to question me. Now, while I am here, I will of course do my best to obey your laws, as I understand they are in existence for good reasons, but I will not be subject to a barrage of questions about my right to defend my honor!" She glared at Ryan, her face flushed with indignity. "I have said all I am going to say on that matter. But if Manchester still insists on being difficult, then I want you to pass along a warning to him. Tell him that I…that neither of us", she indicated Tarrant, "Have any qualms about playing him at his own game. We are more than prepared to go to quite…insane lengths when it comes to Manchester's….well being. You see, we are both mad, and madmen and women can be quite….imaginative." She locked eyes with Ryan, her eyes deep red.

Tarrant let his eyes flash orange, and Ryan gasped in shock, and quickly stood up. He moved swiftly towards the door, babbling quickly. "Thank you for your time. I'll….I'll be sure to take what you said into consideration. Now, I'm sure that no charges will be filed, as Mr. Manchester seemed more upset than hurt. Good day to both of you."

Alannah and Tarrant watched as he left the library at a considerably swifter pace than he had entered it, then they looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Alice giggled madly. "That explains why Lowell has been so unaccountably polite to the two of you! He's afraid of what you might do to him!"

Alannah grinned. "That's correct." She walked over to a shelf, and plucked a watch off it, turning it over in her hands in admiration. 'Time marches on, even up here.' She turned to Sir Jeffrey, and clapped her hands. "So, I do believe you promised to make me a watch that would rival the King's?"

Sir Jeffrey grinned. "That I did. It will take but a moment, as I've been planning and working on it ever since I came back from the tea shop that day. I just need to add one more touch to it." He disappeared into a back room, and returned moments later with a wrapped object. He handed it to Alannah. "I hope it is satisfactory."

She unwrapped it, and gave an exclamation of delight. The watch was simply carved, but the hands were made of gold, and instead of numbers, carved into the face were images she recognized-toves, raths, the Bandersnatch, Marmoreal, roses, the windmill, and all the other marvelously mad creatures and locations of her home. She looked over at Sir Jeffrey. "It is perfect. Thank you."

She placed the watch in her pocket, and bowing deeply, left the shop, Alice and Tarrant following after.