Tainted But Beautiful
Part 3: The Renegades
26. Ball
Pairings: AkuZeku, Zemyx, AkuRoku, AxDem, minor onesided VexZex, XemSaix, Marxene
Rated: M
Warnings: Vampires, vampires, vampires...uh, yaoi, AU-ish-ness, abuse, noncon, rape, graphic scenes, character death, overall weirdness, Axel being a fucking bastard, blasphemy
Summary: Axel is a powerful vampire slayer who's captured Zexion, a vampire, as his pet. What Axel doesn't bargain on is Demyx, his former student, developing a strong attraction to Zexion...
Notes: HOLY UPDATE BATMAN!!!
And just when you all thought I was dead.
Note that I have sworn off all fanfiction except for this one, because I couldn't in good conscience leave all my wonderful readers hanging. Thank you so much for the overwhelming response to this story; it's the first time any story of mine has ever received that kind of response. And you, my wonderful readers and reviewers, are the ones who made that happen. Thank you. *bows*
However, if you read my profile you'll see why I've decided to never update my fanfiction account again after this. I may still read fanfiction, but I won't write much of it. Suffice to say that I think I've outgrown this. I am very active on my fictionpress, Bickazer, especially when it comes to my story Most Perfect Servant (which has strong master/slave themes, perhaps that will appeal to you).
Speaking on this chapter, I'm none too fond of the start, but I love the "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" scene. Yes, Demyx sings "Can't Take My Eyes Off You." Lyric-wise I was going off the Muse version, which is my favorite (speaking of Muse, I've been fangirling to The Resistance for a very long time and damn is it not an awesome album. "Undisclosed Desires" I feels works very well for Demyx's feelings for Zexion in this story). I hope that doesn't make this story a songfic; I guess I could maybe make a song-free version, but that'd kind of destroy this chapter because the song is so pivotal in it.
Really, the end of the chapter was completely unlike what I'd initially planned, but I like this version much better than my plans.
Leon slammed shut the heavy encyclopedia he'd been perusing, loud enough to snap everyone's attention towards him. "This 'Cross of the Kingdom.' Tell us about it."
"W-well, I dunno, the book said it might just be a legend--" Demyx began, rubbing the back of his head. He felt terribly awkward, standing in the front of the study with a falling-apart history tome tucked under one arm and everyone else staring at him with owl eyes. Just like a student unprepared for a presentation.
"It is not a legend," DiZ, a silent red-cloaked figure in the corner, rumbled. "I happened to glimpse it myself during a trip to the Vatican."
"Hey, if you know about this thing, why don't you explain it? No need to put Demyx in front of the firing squad," Axel said, gesturing wildly at DiZ and accidentally knocking over a half-empty can of Mountain Dew on the desk. "Oh shit!" he shouted as bright yellow liquid gurgled all over the expensive Oriental carpet.
"Leave it," DiZ said as several people, Demyx included, made to drop down and clean it up. Demyx thought cynically that when you were as filthy rich as DiZ, obviously a stain in the carpet was nothing.
"Someone move all this shit, please," Axel snarled, pointing an accusing finger at the desk, which was heaped with junk food of all sorts: industrial-sized bags of chips and Cheetos (no, Demyx did not count Cheetos as chips), two-liters and twelve-packs of sodas and energy drinks of all colors and levels of caffeine, a leaking coffee machine, boxes of movie candy, trays of Oreos, and for some reason enormous sacks of candy corn that everyone had stopped eating from after the first day (when several of the more enthusiastic eaters had ended the day vomiting orange-white-yellow sugary goop). By this time Demyx felt like he would gladly spend the rest of his days eating tofu and collard greens if it meant he'd never have to see a single piece of junk food again.
And it made him quite glad that he'd never gone to college--judging by the way the others talked, binging on junk food while "studying" (if you could call what they were doing "studying") was either a fond or hated memory from college.
"Why don't you obtain a little bit of self-control?" Zexion said more snappishly than he was usually given to.
Axel's cough sounded a lot like "hypocrite!"
Demyx sighed uncomfortably inside, almost finding himself wishing that everyone's attention would return to him again. He became uncomfortable every time anyone focused on Zexion overly long, perhaps because it reminded him that he was trying his darnedest not to. Great attitude to have towards the one who he was supposed to be in a relationship with, but...
Truthfully, over the past month, Demyx's relationship with Zexion had been a bit more...distant...than he'd have liked. They'd been keeping away from each other by a mutual, unspoken agreement, even taking to separate rooms and doing little more than exchanging cordial greetings and discussions during the councils. He wished he could do something to remedy the situation, but he quailed even at the thought of where to start. There was just so much--so many snares and flaming hoops between them. They'd both wronged each other, he knew that; both had wronged each other badly and he wasn't sure who was more to blame. Zexion, for sleeping around? Demyx, for wanting Zexion to give up what made him a vampire? He just didn't know, didn't know what to do, how to go about reconciling with the incubus. So he let the gaping distance between the two of them remain, no matter how much he despised it, no matter how much he longed to cross it. To return the two of them back to the way they'd used to be...
Someone coughed. Demyx realized it was Marluxia; the pink-haired slayer had "spoken" for all of his comrades, judging by the expectant looks with which they were all fixing him.
"Erm...okay." Demyx cleared his throat. "Ummm...err...uh. Yeah. Uhh...this Cross of the Kingdom, I found it in, um, this book. Let's see, this is called, A Compendium of the History of Papal-sponsored Vampire Slaying, 1100's-to-1400's--"
"We do not need to know the title of the book," Marluxia said.
"Uh--right! Yeah." Demyx's face burned even hotter. Why the hell was he doing this in the first place, instead of someone who actually knew what he was talking about? Like all of the other real slayers in the room!
But he was the one who'd come across the tidbit in the first place, only three days before the ball: a paragraph near the end of the book that mentioned a special vampire-slaying weapon that was said to be the most powerful in the world...
"Why don't ya explain, Mr. Red? I mean, y'actually know about this thing," Xigbar said lazily. "Mr. Red" being his name for DiZ--he'd ended up nicknaming everyone during their month of sweating and researching together. Most did not appreciate their nicknames, especially not "Mullet" (that is, Demyx) and "Pet" (Zexion).
"That is true..." DiZ said in his "but-I-don't-really-feel-like-it" tone. Which wasn't much different at all from his usual tone. "However, it has been quite some time since I last saw it. Such a long time, in fact, that it escaped my memory entirely."
"Maybe you're just getting senile," Cloud suggested.
"I will allow that too," DiZ said, almost cheerfully.
"Can we get back to business?" Leon, who seemed the only one not caffeinated into a state of near-ADD-ness (which didn't make sense since he'd been chugging energy drinks and DiZ and Zexion had not), had taken on the role of group leader. Or perhaps babysitter.
"Yeah! Yeah," Demyx said all too quickly. "Anyway. This Cross of the Kingdom. The book says that it's, it's a giant cross that the Catholic Church forged way back when. They made it to deal with the really powerful vampires that started showing up around that time...the early Renaissance or whatever. They say it's supposed to be five feet tall and forged of the purest silver, and tipped with a razor-sharp point. Though again I'm not sure 'cause the book acts like it's just a legend..."
"Sounds badass," said Axel appreciatively.
"If it even exists," Cloud said.
"I am inclined to agree," Zexion said. "Such a thing sounds preposterous and quite unwieldy to boot. A cross that size, made of pure silver...no one would be strong enough to carry it. If it was ever made at all, I doubt it ever saw any real combat. Most likely it was used to frighten away weak vampires."
"Like you," Axel shot back.
"No doubt...only the strongest vampires could survive being near so much concentrated silver. But you could say the exact same thing about a silver mine. There's nothing particularly special about this Cross of the Kingdom."
"It's badass," said Xigbar, echoing Axel's assessment.
"This isn't a video game," Marluxia said snippily. "It doesn't matter how impressive something looks. I agree with Strife and the incubus. This weapon seems patently useless."
"Yeah, I guess," Demyx sighed, trying not to feel like a kid who'd just gotten an F on a school project he'd put a lot of time and effort into. "The book said it was just a legend, anyway..."
"It's still our best chance," Leon said evenly.
"And it does exist," DiZ said. "I assure you it is not a fiction. Such a weapon...it would be immeasurably powerful against a higher vampire--perhaps even one as powerful as Xemnas. We are speaking of, essentially, a five-foot stake forged of the finest silver, and imbued with powerful blessings and spells."
"But--that's what I don't understand," Namine said. "If there really is a weapon that powerful, and the Catholic Church has it, how come we've never heard of it?"
"The book, it says that the Vatican's been covering up the Cross's existence, so it doesn't fall into the hands of their enemies, or something," Demyx said.
"Conspiracy theories much?" Axel said, raising an eyebrow.
"How...deplorable." DiZ shook his head in anger. "Vampire slayers are supposed to be united in a common mission...we should have buried all of our rivalries long ago."
"Well, isn't that ironic," said Zexion with what Demyx imagined was a smirk. "You would expect slayers to be united and vampires to be always at each others' throats, but in truth it's quite the opposite, isn't it?"
He sounded so smug that Demyx wondered why DiZ didn't just deck him right them. No, he should be thinking these things about the one he...he...
Not love, he told himself angrily. I can't say that, not in good faith.
Everyone else had more important things to focus on than Demyx's tormented feelings. They were all talking at once now, though Namine and Roxas (as usual) were staying out of matters, sitting behind the junk-food table and watching wide-eyed.
"--this is nonsense, as if we'd really believe it--"
"Yeah, like I said, it's all some shitty conspiracy theory, just like those people who think that Da Vinci Code shit is actually real--"
"A conspiracy theory that appeared in a book that old? Doesn't seem likely to me."
"You don't know, but vampire slayers like to make things up to sound impressive..."
"I know that, werewolf hunters do the same, but I don't think we should dismiss from the outset--"
"I saw it. Is it real. I know this."
"As if!"
"Then go get it for us, old man!"
"I don't see why you cannot. You are the scion of a prestigious family that has historically had ties to the Church--"
"Aww, fuck, the Vatican doesn't want me back after what I did to that cardinal..."
"I cannot just saunter into Vatican City--remember that I am supposed to be dead--"
"Seems t'me this'd be a good time to stop playing dead, huh?"
"Now what did you do to that cardinal? Pray tell, I'm very curious."
"It's none of your fucking business! I bet you've been up to some pretty shady business with cardinals yourself--"
"No, I don't quite find churchmen appealing--their blood is so very bland--"
"Whoa! Whoawhoawhoawhoa." Demyx figured this was a good time to bring this conversation (more like two dueling conversations) to an end, so he stepped forward and held his hands out. "Okay, okay. That's enough. So what's our plan? We gotta come up with a plan, y'know."
"We need this Cross of the Kingdom," began Leon.
"If it's real," Cloud added grouchily.
"Assuming it's real," Leon said, looking very much like he wanted to facepalm. "Then the question is, how do we get it, and fast enough? The ball is in three days. We need to be able to obtain the Cross of the Kingdom in that time..."
"Impossible," Marluxia declared. "The Vatican prefers to perform its slaying work autonomously, without interference from the slaying families. And if this cross really exists and they've been covering it up for centuries...I don't see them easily parting with it. Granted, if it exists."
"It does exist," DiZ almost growled--he seemed quite ticked off by how everyone was qualifying their claims with "ifs" and "assumings." "I can assure you that. You do bring up a valid point, however. They will not be so willing to let it go..and I doubt they would accept the explanation of the Coven of Thirteen."
Xigbar spoke for them all. "Pain in the ass."
Demyx couldn't agree more. His heart, already feeling very heavy from everyone's bashing of his research, sank even further. It would come to nothing...they'd lose their chance to destroy Xemnas quickly enough.
"Ahem." Zexion cleared his throat with a surprisingly loud noise. Every whirled towards him in alarm; he'd perched on the edge of the table (shoving the snacks even further back), and was crossing his legs, surveying the scene with a look of haughty boredom. Roxas and Kairi, behind him, were both looking very disconcerted.
"Yeah? Speak up if you've got anything worthwhile to say," said Axel, clearly looking like he didn't think Zexion had anything worthwhile to say.
"Aren't you all forgetting something...?" Zexion said. "Something crucial?"
Drop the condescending act, why don't you? Demyx thought furiously.
"Enlighten us," DiZ said, his voice flat and tight.
"Namely," Zexion said, arching his visible eyebrow, "you are Ansem the Wise. You were renowned in the slaying community--even by the Vatican, I'm sure. Granted, everyone believes that you are dead, but that would only give you even more leverage, if you think about it. A dead man returning--and a dead man who so happens to be Ansem the Wise. Wouldn't they have to at least give you the time of day?"
"Assuming they don't through him in prison or the madhouse on the spot," Axel said.
"Then someone should go with him," suggested Leon. "Someone who they trust--someone they'd be forced to believe if he vouched for DiZ."
"Not me," Axel said instantly.
"Yes, of course not you, whatever you did to that cardinal," Zexion said. "You know, you can't keep me in suspense forever."
"Go to hell!" Axel shouted back, very maturely. Group-leader Leon coughed.
"Not me," said Xigbar. "Y'know, a long time back when I was a boy, I sorta had this thing for Catholic schoolgirls--"
"We don't need to hear that," Leon said quickly. "Cloud?"
Cloud shrugged. "Whatever."
"Then we will go," Marluxia said, gesturing towards him and Cloud. "Since it seems like we are the only ones who haven't done anything offensive against the church."
"Oh, I don't know, Marly," snickered Axel. "That cologne of yours is pretty offensive."
"Excuse me?" Marluxia's voice could freeze fires.
"It's settled, then," DiZ said, cutting in before anyone could argue further (and over something so stupid). "Marluxia, Cloud, and I will leave for the Vatican as soon as possible. We will be back within three days--and with the Cross of the Kingdom in our possession."
Xigbar whistled. "Tall order, dude."
"We will," DiZ said, glancing around the room, looking surprisingly resplendent--it seemed every time Demyx started dismissing DiZ as a senile old man with revenge fantasies, DiZ would then do something that was actually impressive and turn Demyx's opinion of him completely around. Cloaked in red, hands clasped, radiating an aura of quiet fortitude, Demyx had to admit that he could almost admire DiZ.
"Then it's settled," Leon said. "Where's the computer again--you had a laptop, Xigbar, where did you put it?"
"Hmm, figure it's under this shit--" Xigbar began clawing his way through the colorful sacks and boxes of junk food covering the table like the ruins of a collapsed building.
"Right here." Roxas yanked something black and shiny from beneath a teetering pile of Cheeto bags. Without anything to support them, they toppled over, spilling a rain of fluoresecent orange...not-chips.
"Thanks, Tiger!" Xigbar said as he snatched the laptop from Roxas, flipping it open in one deft motion. "All right then, plane tickets y'want--"
"That will not be necessary," DiZ cut in smoothly. He stepped forward and held his arm out to stop them--a little theatrical, Demyx thought, but DiZ was nothing if not theatrical.
But then, astonishing Demyx and everyone else in the room, something--something appeared in front of DiZ's outstretched hand. A body-length oval of crackling dark light, so dark that it seemed to drain away the light and color in the room itself...
It was the same sort of darkness that had been pouring from DiZ, washing over the plaza, that fateful night.
Axel spoke for everyone. "Holy shit."
When DiZ spoke, he sounded almost amused, in the most macabre way possible. "I have imbued myself with many different kinds of powers. That includes being able to travel instantaneously from one location to another. Come."
Marluxia and Cloud followed slowly after him, both looking rather tentative. Demyx thought he saw Leon touch Cloud on the shoulder in a reassuring gesture, but Cloud quickly shook off Leon's touch and marched forward, pale-faced but resolute. Marluxia followed as slowly as was polite.
"Rome is on the other side of this?" Cloud said doubtfully, staring into the dark ovoid.
"Yes. I believe I have opened a portal in front of St. Peter's Basilica," said DiZ. Holy shit, he was amused. Demyx thought about DiZ's creepy laugh and decided that an amused DiZ was even worse than a regular DiZ.
"Let's just go," said Marluxia, sounding very much like he wanted to add "harrumph!" to that too.
DiZ nodded, and then stepped through, vanishing completely through the portal; Demyx bit back a startled scream. Cloud and Marluxia stared blankly after him, before exchanging glances and then following, both looking like men preparing to face a firing squad.
The portal closed with a crackle of black light after they had stepped through. For the longest time, the remaining people in the room stared at the spot where it had vanished, silent in shared astonishment. Only Namine seemed somewhat calm, probably because she'd already seen this plenty of times before.
"He doesn't do it often," she said. "He won't let it show, but it does put a great strain on him..."
"Jesus Fucking Christ!" Axel blasphemed. "If he could do that before, why didn't he do that? Instead of, y'know, driving us to the manor in that fucking Rolls-Royce?"
Demyx found to his surprise that he had a glib answer on hand. "Well, isn't it obvious?" he said. "DiZ is like any other filthy rich man. He won't resist a chance to show off his cars."
Zexion snickered behind his hand like a noblewoman; strangely, that little laugh raised Demyx's spirits more than anything else in the past month. It was stupid, really, and he'd made a stupid joke, but...but somehow he felt it was the beginning of their reconciliation. Just baby steps, maybe. But the thought was there.
Demyx was itching to see the Cross of the Kingdom. DiZ, Cloud, and Marluxia had returned on the morning of the ball, but hadn't let anyone see the cross yet; they made oblique references to needing to restore it somewhat. He suppposed that meant it was probably tarnished too badly to look impressive, or, in Axel and Xigbar's words, "badass."
The Slayer Society Ball would be taking place tonight, of course--in less than an hour. And here he was, standing in front of the mirror in his room and feeling like a genuine idiot. What the hell was up with vampire slaying and the need to dress up? He'd never even owned a tux before, but now he was standing in front of the mirror in his room, struggling with his bow tie.
Once again, he could think of nothing but how horrible he looked. With his hair slicked back in nasty clumps and dressed in a rented black tuxedo with a dark blue waistcoat, he thought he looked like nothing more than a drunkard attempting to crash a wedding. His collar was chafing at his neck and he was quite sure he'd missed a button on his waistcoat and he couldn't figure out the damn bow tie! He should have just gotten a clip-on, he thought darkly.
Worse was the matter of who he was going to go with--he had yet to figure that out. All the other slayers had quickly chosen partners--Marluxia with Larxene, Cloud with Leon, Xigbar with two women who he claimed were models but Demyx rather thought were escorts, and Axel with Roxas.
He supposed the most logical choice would be Zexion, but...
But how could he? Not after everything that had happened. Going with Zexion would imply some sort of...relationship. Which he was quite sure they didn't have anymore.
A knock came from the door. "Just a minute!" he yelled. "After I figure out this goddamned tie--"
The door swung open soundlessly, and a slim figure glided inside. "Why am I not surprised? You're always having wardrobe difficulties."
The breath stopped in Demyx's throat. He knew who it was in an instant--not just because he recognized the voice, but because though he'd heard someone entered, he saw no one reflected behind him in the mirror. In a way, it was quite chilling, reminding him that Zexion wasn't human. As if he needed any more reminders of that, though!
Yet in another way, it was comforting. It reminded him of the first time he and Zexion had spoken, how they had sat together in front of an unmoving pool, in which Demyx had been the only one reflected.
He turned around slowly.
Zexion stood in the doorway, his arms folded and gazing inquisitively at Demyx. And Demyx wouldn't lie about it: he was beautiful. Of course Zexion was the type to look beautiful in anything, no matter how ragged it was or how messed up his hair, but all dressed up...he looked even better. Like the seductive creature of the night he really was. He too had slicked his hair back, though much more neatly than Demyx had; without the messy fringe in his face, his cheekbones appeared sharper, and his chin more pronounced, making him look at once older and more exotic. His tuxedo was cut in almost the same way as Demyx's, but it didn't look awkward on him in the slightest, and the black of the cloth only accented his snowy pallor. His waistcoat was deep purple, his bow tie the same, and he had pinned a violet in his buttonhole.
As he moved closer, Demyx noticed that his face looked a little...different. He couldn't pin it down at first; it seemed that Zexion's eyes were more narrower and more predatory than usual, yet held a hooded and seductive quality that Demyx was sure hadn't been there before. When Zexion stopped right in front of him, Demyx saw with a jolt of pleasant surprise that the incubus was wearing eyeliner and mascara; not so much that it was immediately obvious, but enough to alter his appearance in a way that was slightly unsettling yet appealing.
"You look great." As usual, Demyx couldn't stop his motor-mouth from moving. Zexion's beautiful face contorted into a scowl.
"And as usual, you look hideous. One of these days I am going to teach you how to actually dress."
His hands flew up to the front of Demyx's tux, and began expertly knotting the bow tie; Demyx shivered slightly when he felt the vampire's icy skin brush against him. It'd been so long since he and Zexion so much had touched...
Zexion finished yanking on the bow tie, pulling it tighter than Demyx thought necesary. He then attacked Demyx's waistcoat with just as much gusto, redoing the buttons so they properly aligned and then smoothed out the somewhat wrinkled front. It was all Demyx could do to keep from squirming away from Zexion's discomfitingly cold touch.
"There. You're halfway presentable now," Zexion said. "I suppose I can't do a thing about that hair, unfortunately, we're rather pressed on time...now let's go."
He held out an elegant pale hand to an astonished Demyx, who stared at it for the longest time, his mind racing. He'd thought that Zexion would want nothing to do with him, especially after the way he'd chewed Demyx out about applying human standards to him...and Zexion had been avoiding him too. He'd thought, by all means, that it was over.
"Zexy?" he whispered, aware of a sudden painful lump in his throat. "You wouldn't--you really would--"
"Hurry up," Zexion snapped.
"No, you're--are you saying that--you wanna go with me?" Demyx said.
Zexion jerked his shoulder in a noncommittal shrug. "Well, I don't have anyone else to go with, do I?"
Ah. Of course, that was it. The always-logical Zexion chose out of necessity, not because there was any real feeling to it...
But there is! Demyx thought fiercely. Maybe not on your side, but for me? Hell yes, oh hell yes. I can't deny it--I do feel something for you. Maybe you don't feel the same way, but I...then it's up to me to...
Zexion shoved his hand in Demyx's face again, looking bored and impatient. "Please do hurry. We are going to be late."
"Okay, okay!" Demyx quickly slipped his hand into Zexion's, bracing against the iciness of the incubus' skin. In fact, his first initial urge was to let go, but he fought it like a demon, forcing himself to tighten his grip so that all he could feel was the silky softness of Zexion's skin, so cold and light he felt like he was barely holding anything.
"Tch, what are you trying to do?" Zexion snapped. "Don't squeeze so tightly."
"Sorry," Demyx said. He loosened his grip slightly, feeling a little more natural now. He'd done this many times before...he coud start seeing Zexion as Zexion now, instead of a vampire with skin of ice. That was right. Zexion would never hurt him. He was safe.
"C'mon, Zexy," he said, leading Zexion towards the door. "Let's go."
The ball was taking place in a cavernous room on the ground floor of one of the ritziest hotels in the city. It was easily the grandest place Demyx had ever seen in his life, a dazzling and disorienting blend of sights and sounds and sensations: coral marble floor polished so brightly he saw his own reflection, chandeliers of flashing gold and crystal, wine glasses clinking, liquid notes from the piano, men and women spinning across the floor in clouds of perfume, billowing dresses, and tailored suits.
This was a completely different world, even from Axel's parties, which had the veneer of upper-class sophistication but inevitably dissolved into drunken fests. All this self-conscious elegance...it made Demyx's head hurt.
He glanced around the ballroom, searching for a few familiar faces to better anchor himself. He saw Axel's distinctive red spikes easily enough; the older slayer was standing with Roxas by a refreshment table, helping himself and Roxas to more appetizers than was polite. Well, didn't they look happy... He saw a flash of pink and yellow close to him, and saw Marluxia and Larxene spinning past, Marluxia dressed in as much pink as he had been the first time Demyx saw him, Larxene in a powder blue dress that did not leave much to the imagination. Both looked quite bored.
Further in the crowd, he saw Cloud and Leon; neither were dancing, but glaring around and looking as bored and Marluxia and Larxene, though that didn't stop them from helping themselves to champagne glasses from the champagne pyramid. Xigbar was somewhere further away, both of his girls hanging off his arms while he grinned contendedly. Probably he'd had too much wine.
He thought he glimpsed the banker Luxord on his lonesome in the crowd, but then the billowing dresses and penguin suits shifted and the bearded man was no longer there. He'd just been imagining things...
Already, he was starting to feel this ball was a massive waste of time. They should be back in the manor with DiZ and Namine, planning their assault on the Coven of Thirteen, not here!
"Why don't you dance?" whispered a low voice in his ear. Demyx blinked, startled; Zexion had been remaining silent and fairly still since the evening began, merely following Demyx wherever he went like a shadow.
"I can't," Demyx said. "I'd bump into people."
"Of course," Zexion said with a snicker. Demyx pounded him on the shoulder.
"Hey, you're not being fair. I don't think you can dance, can you?"
"I don't need to. And that hurt."
"Sorry. And I don't need to dance, either."
"So what are we doing here again?"
Demyx swept his eyes around the ballroom, taking in the glittering chandeliers and the chattering party-goers, and wondered the same thing.
"Come on," he said, snatching Zexion by the wrist. Zexion stared at him, alarmed.
"What?"
"Let's go," Demyx said, gesturing towards the ballroom door, which led to the hotel's expansive courtyard. "You want some fresh air, too, don't you? And away from these people."
He waved his hand vaguely towards the crowd, but sure enough at least two people were staring at him and Zexion--some were even glaring. People had been staring and glaring all evening, shocked that a vampire slayer would take an incubus of all things as his date. Demyx had quickly grown tired of their mingled curiosity and hostility, though only one of them, a fairly drunken old man, had accosted them and ranted to them about destroying the natural order of things. Now that had been unpleasant. Though thankfully the old man was an inattentive drunk and soon drifted off for another glass of wine.
"Yes," Zexion said. "I would like to get away."
"Then let's go." With that, Demyx turned around and led Zexion behind him through the glass double doors and into the courtyard.
The dark was soft and comforting after the harsh brightness of the ballroom. No, artificial lights wouldn't hurt a vampire, but they could be quite irritating; certainly Zexion had found it almost impossible to think when under assault by the overbearing light. Otherwise he would have come up with a sharp retort for that old drunk instead of just standing there silently and taking it.
The hotel courtyard reminded him somewhat of Axel's villa's, though it was much wider and open and had more greenery (and better taste in statues--no naked cherubs here). He and Demyx were walking through a shady arbor that cut through the center of the courtyard, their steps echoing on the flagstones. The night air whispered cool and gentle on his skin, carressing him like a lover; though the sky was blocked by the interlocking treetops, he could still feel the silky pale touch of the moon and stars, so unlike the blazing ferocity of the indoor chandeliers. Somewhere in the distance, a fountain gurgled agreeably.
And the scents...the rich earthy smell of green growing things, the heavy dark scent that he could only properly describe as that of the nighttime, and...and Demyx. Demyx's gentle presence of ocean breeze and sea salt.
He allowed a slight smile to cross his face. Here he was in the night. His element.
Soon they cleared the arbor, arriving in an even wider and more open courtyard than the first one. It was dominated by a wide square pool dotted with lily pads; an occasional flash of orange suggested the presence of fish. Situated directly in front of the pool was a low stone bench.
Demyx glanced at the bench, and then at Zexion, his bright blue eyes full of meaning. Zexion caught on in an instant, and lowered his head in a brief nod.
With a little laugh that shattered the sanctity of the night, Demyx plopped down on the bench. He patted the stone beside him, indicating that Zexion should have a seat. Zexion gracefully slid beside Demyx, though he tried not to look at the slayer.
They sat in front of the pool in silence, gazing at their reflections--or in Zexion's case, his lack thereof. He felt a strane sense of deja vu; this was very much like the first time they'd spoken, when Demyx had displayed disarming kindness to him, which he had repayed by trying to turn him...
That felt so long ago. From another lifetime. Now, though they were separated only by a few inches, he felt that a chasm no one could span yawned between them. Demyx was being friendly to him, that was true, but the connection he'd felt they had was gone. The connection that had led him to travel all the way north and then defy his Superior...
Worry curled up like a snake in his heart. Had he done everything for nothing? For an emotion brief and fleeting as a sunny day in February? And to think he still prided himself for his logic.
"Y'know..." Demyx said, breaking the tense silence in which they'd been engaging. "This is a lot like...that first time, isn't it? The first time you and me talked..."
"Yes," Zexion said.
"I remember. You tried to eat me...I wonder, would you try doing that now?"
"Excuse me?" Zexion frowned at Demyx, trying not to betray his alarm. "Of course I wouldn't."
"Why is that?" Demyx was smiling, but there was a bitter and mature quality to it that he'd never seen from the usually so sunny slayer before. "Is it 'cause you care too much, or because...because I don't matter to you at all?"
"Why would you say that?" Zexion said too sharply.
"Well...I dunno. I dunno, it just seems...you've been pretty damn distant lately. You'll barely even let me touch you--it seems like you've lost interest or something."
"Lost interest?" Something painful had tightened inside his chest, preventing him from drawing breath--not that he needed to. Demyx was saying everything, everything he'd been feeling... "I could say the same thing about you, you know."
"What? No, I--"
"You haven't been making an effort at all, either. I've been leaving you alone because you let it happen. If you really care as much as you say you do, then shouldn't you be a little more proactive? I can't lead you everywhere."
He hated himself, hated himself for every word that poured from his lips, not consciously but from that part of his nature he could never deny--the part that was all manipulator. That part wanted to see Demyx suffer, wanted to watch and revel in the slayer's misery. He hated it, but could never silence it.
For priding his abilities with words, he still had no idea how to use them. He could only use his skills to hurt.
"Okay! Maybe that's true!" Demyx slapped his fist into the bench, which had to hurt quite a bit but he gave no indication of pain. "Maybe it is! But y'know, it's 'cause I don't know how or what to do, because you--no. I won't play the blame game, Zexion."
His voice grew chilly with a resolve Demyx had rarely heard from him before, and his eyes were hard as diamonds. "I won't. 'Cause we're both to blame here, just as much. You're right. I haven't been making enough of an effort. But neither have you. After that--after we argued--it kinda all...it kinda fell apart, I guess? But you seem to think--I mean--I guess what I'm trying to say is that isn't not over. I won't let it end, just like this...we have our differences. I know that. I know I may never see eye-to-eye with you on the--the whole vampire thing, and everything. But that doesn't change a thing about the way I feel. I do...maybe I haven't been good at showing it lately, but I do...I do care. I care."
He lowered his head, looking embarrassed; Zexion suddenly felt very sorry for him. And chilled to the bone. Everything Demyx was saying--it rang with truth. He'd long held Demyx was awkward and hadn't the slightest how to work with words, not the way he did, but...but Demyx was the one who could consolidate all their tangled feelings for each other into coherent sentences, while all Zexion could do was lay around blame.
But perhaps it was the human who had to say it. A vampire--an incubus--like Zexion could never understand that sort of genuine, deep emotion, after all.
"Demyx..." he began.
"Shit, I'm sorry," said Demyx, shaking his head. "I can't--I just can't say it the way I wanna. I sound like I'm whining, don't I? I really--I can't say it. I can't."
"You don't have to," Zexion said softly.
"You're right. I guess I...I have my own talents. That don't include saying things the way I mean them." Demyx smiled bitterly again. "I...hey."
He raised a finger to shush Zexion, though Zexion wasn't saying anything; he frowned in confusion. Demyx tilted his head in the direction of the hotel, cupping a hand to his ear as if trying to listen to something. Zexion listened too, though all he heard was the tinkling of the piano and the laughing of the dancers.
"Hey, the song...it's changed," Demyx said in a strange quiet tone, as if he was speaking to himself. "I know this one..."
"Really?" Zexion frowned. All of the piano songs that had been playing sounded the same to him, though granted he hadn't been paying much attention. It made sense that the musically inclined Demyx would, though.
"Yeah." Demyx had stood up, and was gazing in the distance as if he was seeing something Zexion couldn't. "It was...one of my favorites. I remember. One of the first I learned...damn, it's cheesy, but still...I think...if it's all right with you...I'd like to sing it to you."
"What? Why?" Zexion said, trying not to betray how the blood in his veins had gone cold. He remembered a long-ago conversation, Demyx saying that maybe someday he'd sing for Zexion. But after everything that had happened between the two of them...he hadn't thought that he would see the day.
"I told you, right?" Demyx said, a heartbreakingly soft and sad smile crossing his face. "I'd sing to you. I know that I can't really put into words what I feel, not as good as you can, but...but I can sing. I can sing what I feel. Do you understand?"
Zexion didn't really, but he nodded all the same. Something deep and serious was going on, something in which he had no experience. He, the vampire who'd lived almost a century! But living long didn't mean that he knew everything. Many things, especially those to do with matters of the heart, remained beyond on his reach.
Yet it seemed Demyx's understanding was already far deeper and more thorough than Zexion's could ever be. The difference between a human and a vampire, he supposed.
And then, standing in front of him, illuminated in soft and unearthly starlight, Demyx began to sing. His tenor voice wasn't particularly grandiose--certainly he could never belt an operatic aria--but it held a soft soulfulness that more than made up for it. He sang from his heart. The song had a slow rhythm, which along with Demyx's gentle voice soothed Zexion like a pleasant dream.
"You're just too good to be true
Can't keep my eyes off you
You feel like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you."
He knelt before Zexion, smiling up at the vampire with such tenderness that it physically hurt. No one had ever looked at him like that before, not even Demyx...and he was entirely sincere. He meant it, every saccharine word he sang.
He understood what Demyx meant now when he said he could express himself in music much better than he could in words. Demyx had been surprisingly eloquent when he was trying to explain his feelings, but this..this went beyond eloquent.
"Pardon the way that I stare,
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you makes me weak
There are no words left to speak.
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you."
Demyx stood again, in a surprisingly fluid movement. The music in the distance picked up its pace, and he responded by raising his voice as well, so the high clear notes resounded in the night like a bell--Zexion heard a nightingale fly away in alarm, and smirked in amusement; Demyx's song was far more passionate and beautiful than any notes the bird could trill.
And as per the song, he never once removed his eyes from Zexion's face. They burned with an intent that Zexion couldn't understand, but he knew fascinated him. He sat even further upright, lavishing his undivided attention on his singing lover.
"And I love you baby
And if it's quite all right I need you baby
To warm a lonely night,
I love you baby
Trust in me when I say--
"Oh pretty baby
Don't bring me down I pray, oh pretty baby
Now that I've found you stay
And let me love you, baby,
Let me love you."
He sang with such passion...Zexion felt like fainting from its overwhelming force, but of course he wasn't that weak. And he'd said it. Those words that Zexion had always longed to hear but at the same time dread, though now he could feel nothing but thrill at hearing them sung in Demyx's lovely tenor:
I love you.
Demyx was singing more softly now, but with the same radiant joy--he'd started off somewhat hesitant, but it seemed that his sung confession had banished all of his restraint. He held out a hand to Zexion, much as he had earlier that day before the ball, but it was different now. All different. Zexion took the profferred hand, and gasped as Demyx pulled him into a spin.
"You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off you
You feel like heaven to touch,
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived,
And I thank God I'm alive,
You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off you."
They were dancing in wide sweeping arcs, heedless of formal steps or anything because none of that mattered. Nothing mattered except their bodies moving in tandem, except the heavenly whisper of the stars on them, except the resolve glittering in Demyx's eyes and the words he sang to the night sky, loud and clear and bursting with love:
"I love you baby
And if it's quite all right I need you baby
To warm a lonely night,
I love you baby
Trust in me when I say--"
Their dancing had carried them quite close to the edge of the pool, to the point where another spin would probably make them fall in. Zexion shoved Demyx slightly to get him away; he was astounded by how the slayer could continue singing unbrokenly despite that. It was almost as if he was in his own world, where nothing mattered but him and Zexion and his song, rising to a crescendo...
"Oh pretty baby
Don't bring me down I pray, oh pretty baby
Now that I've found you stay
And let me love you, baby,
Let me love you."
And it was over. Demyx's voice softened at the end to become almost inaudible, and he hummed the last notes that were issuing from the ballroom, still smiling that tender smile. Zexion stared up at the slayer, conscious of Demyx's strong grip on his waist and their linked hands, feeling like a man rising from a pleasant dream. The dream was over now, Demyx's lovely voice was no longer ringing in his ears, the magic of the night that had briefly enveloped him was gone, but...
But he still felt he'd gained something irrevocably.
"It's been a while since I sang," Demyx said, almost shyly. "So yeah, it probably sounded a bit off..."
"No, no," Zexion said. "No. It didn't. That was--that was perfect. I had no idea that you could...you could..."
He trailed off, unsure of what to say next. Once again, he was seeing the limitations of his own skill with words. If only he could be more like Demyx, more able to speak with passion and conviction.
"Aww, thank you, Zexy." Demyx pulled him closer, so that they were embracing; his hand had now found the nape of Zexion's neck and was fiddling with a few stray strands of hair, sending shivers down Zexion's spine. "And I really...I really meant it. Every word. When I said I loved you..."
"I know," Zexion murmured.
"'Cause I know now. I do love you, Zexion. Insane as it is--I know I shouldn't--"
"And since when did that matter?" Zexion said with sudden ferocity, seizing the front of Demyx's tuxedo and glaring into his eyes. "Since when? It doesn't matter what other people think. If the feeling is real, then let it be. Even if others may disapprove. Even if we ourselves have our share of difficulties and disagreements..." His voice softened; he relaxed his grip. "The feeling is real, Demyx. That's what matters to me."
"Oh, Zexy..." Demyx squeezed him, tightly, almost as if to reassure himself that Zexion was really there. "So are you trying to say that you--you love me too?"
"Yes, you idiot," Zexion said; he should have figured Demyx needed it spelled out. "Honestly, I don't know why, seeing as you are brainless and incompetent and can't dress yourself to save your life, not to mention a hypocrite, but all the same--I love you. Demyx. I love you."
To his shame, his voice cracked somewhat on the last sentence. He could believe those words, but he still couldn't stay them with proper conviction. Because he'd never...never said anything like them before. He'd never loved anyone before like he loved Demyx.
"That's the meanest confession I've ever heard, Zexion," Demyx sighed. "And y'know, you're no saint yourself. You're self-righteous and smarmy and a sociopath. Not to mention a hypocrite too! But I still love you anyway, see?"
Zexion laughed bitterly. "Aren't lovers only supposed to see perfection in each other?"
"Well, fuck that. Seems to me loving a perfect person would be really boring."
"Ahh...same here. And we're an incubus and a human, anyhow, so I suppose normal standards don't apply."
"Yep!" Demyx sounded incongruously happy, and squeezed him again. It was rather painful and humiliating to boot, but Zexion found he didn't mind. "Go to hell, normal standards! I'll say it to the world! I'm a brainless and incompetent vampire slayer and I love a self-righteous and sociopathic incubus!"
Zexion laughed again, this time for real; his laugh became only more giddy as Demyx swept him up in his arms, just like a knight carrying a princess. Usually he'd have objected to being treated like a distressed damsel, but right now he didn't care at all--Demyx's grip was warm and strong, and walking was too much of a bother anyhow.
"Now, now. I don't believe I am that self-righteous--"
"Yeah? And I'm pretty sure I'm not nearly as brainless as you think!"
"Believe that if it makes you feel better," Zexion said with a little snicker, burying his face deeper into Demyx's chest. Demyx, always so warm and strong--always a constant. Demyx, his lover. A little thrill ran through him at that thought. "Perhaps it wasn't such a waste to come here after all."
"You think?" Demyx said. "Yeah...and you know, Zexion? I'm glad I figured it out now. I'm glad I could tell it to you now. Because...because if something happened during the battle, or whatever...and I wouldn't be able to...then I know I'd regret it. Forever."
"Don't talk about that," Zexion whispered, tightening his grip on the front of Demyx's tuxedo. "I know it'll happen and I know it's unavoidable but right now, I don't want to talk about it. I don't. I only want to be here with you and know that you're here and I am here and that, that is all that matters."
Demyx smiled, though there was something strangely sad to it. "Sounds familiar, huh? I remember saying that to you once..."
"And truer words couldn't have been spoken."
"I know. Zexy...?"
"Yes?"
"I...I just wanted to say it again: I love you."
"Quite true. And I love you too."
They both, he thought, thrilled in just saying those words, even if they didn't mean anything. In finally consolidating all of their confusing feelings for each other. No, just exchanging "I love you"s wouldn't solve any of the problems plaguing them, but...it was what they'd both fought for, and come hell or high water, they would use every chance to say it. To prove it.
Zexion believed this was a rather reckless way of thinking about things--he'd never been the type to push an unpleasant matter aside to be dealt with later--but then again, nothing could make you more reckless than falling in love.
He curled up closer to Demyx's life-giving warmth. For some reason, he didn't mind a little recklessness every now and then.
I loved writing that confession scene. I was afraid of it being too cheesy; part of the reason why I didn't want a confession scene in the first place. But it turned quite better than I envisioned, and more in character to boot. All the insulting...and it seemed only logical that the two confess after Demyx pretty much sings "I love you baby." For writing the scene I drew from that song, obviously, but also there's a little bit of influence from "Simple and Clean," of all songs, at the end.
Looking back, I don't think the first scene is as bad as I thought it was. It's more that it takes a fairly different tone from the last part of the chapter, the emotional high note of the confession. It's more amusing and sardonically funny, I guess.
Preview for next chapter, "Risk," which will be the beginning of the assault on the Coven of Thirteen:
"Do you believe it's a gamble you are willing to take?" Luxord said, smiling as he stepped his fingers. Xemnas hated many things about the man--his fickleness with loyalties, his habit of treating everything as if it was all a grand game, his sickening cologne which did nothing to hide his scent of mortal flesh and corruption--but he realized what he hated the most was Luxord's smile. There was always the hint of something condescending and mocking to it, as if Luxord never meant the words he said. He smiled so blithely, as if he was free from the usual laws that restrained mortal men.
Xemnas hated that. A mortal who didn't know his place...the world could do with fewer of those.
Hope you all enjoy it! I can't promise when the next update will be, but it will definitely come. I'm glad that I've gotten back in this story, and certainly I figure it's not a bad note to leave my fanfiction career on. Remember to review! ^^ And check out my fictionpress if you want stories that are more than occasionally updated.