I wasn't completely sure if I should have 'The Depression' but then I felt it might be necessary for the future. Also, this chapter is Bella remembering being depressed, about 10 months after him leaving her. You will not have to read her being sad for long (:
Last Time
I knew that using Edward like the way I had was wrong, but I had wanted Bella so much. Edward had even started to develop feelings for Bella himself whilst I had used him.
Up to date, the biggest regret I had was using my brother to hurt the one I loved so much.
BPOV
Days, hours or minutes had passed. I wasn't sure which, but knew that I couldn't go on. How could I possibly live when my happiness, my love, my everything had turned its back on me and left? I had responsibilities but what did they matter when there was nothing to look forward to when they were taken care of? I had always known I wasn't good enough for him, but to have him say it was too much to bear. When he had said he loved me, I had always doubted him, but a small part of me allowed me to believe what he said. That small part had grown till almost all of me had believed he had loved me. That part was now crushed, rejected, unloved, meaningless. What had I done wrong? What was I missing? Though I was human, he could easily have changed me. Every problem I saw with myself could easily have been solved. I saw no reason for them to leave without me. This depressed me even further because I realised that maybe Edward had told me what all of his family had been thinking. Maybe they all just didn't want me and were throwing me away like an old toy.
The part that didn't make sense in all this was Alice…
"He left because of Edward" she whispered. "We are leaving too, Bella. Please know that we do love you. Everyone, Carlisle, Emmet, Esme and I love you more than you know. We had to do this and we are sorry. Don't forget that."
What I didn't understand before Edward had left made some sense now. I wondered why she hadn't said Edward's name when she was mentioning those that would always love me. Now I knew that she had known about this and it made me hate her. Why hadn't she given me any warning? The hate was gone as quickly as it appeared. I knew how I would have reacted to her telling me that Edward had never loved me. It would have broken us apart and made them move away. I also knew how Edward would react to her wanting to tell me how he felt. He would have wanted to do it himself; to give me a kind of closure, or to watch me suffer…
Something I did must have been funny because Edward laughed again, the dark sound echoing loudly in the forest
I locked up the memories of those events. They were too painful for me.
I was pulled out of thoughts by Angela calling me from the front room.
"Bella!" she shouted.
This is much shorter than normal, but for a reason I can not reveal yet. I might post another chapter today, but then I wont post again until Sunday if I'm busy.