It's been quite a while since I've spoken to anyone besides Master... and that's only when he orders me around and I give a 'Yes, Sir.' I... I just really can't handle this stuff anymore. Sometimes I really wish Master had killed me too...Brad had taken Katie home a yesterday, but he stayed. So I'm here with Master and Brad.
I feel like I'm going to go crazy... my mind in swimming, and I just wish I could fight back. With my luck, I will fight back, and I'll probably lose. I can't even begin to think of how I would win in a fight with Master. He has weapons... like, I'm pretty sure he has a gun in the attic. How can I fight against a gun? That's right, I can't.
I would run away... but I really don't have the will power anymore. I would have no where to go, no one to turn to if I get injured... Isa would have thought of something. I'm no good at this.
Most people think their lives are hard. Ha. Just try living a day in mine. Looking out at the forest, I don't even have the will to get up and walk to the woods to get out of the burning sun. But, by now, it's just a dull ache that I can ignore.
"Well," Brad snuck up behind me, "Have you found a way to get out yet?"
"Out of what?" My voice was weak, raspy from not being used in a while.
"Out of here, away from all this. You must have a plan by now." He sat down beside me.
I folded my wolfish ears back, "No, no matter what option I chose, though, I don't have a good chance of surviving it..."
"Perhaps we will meet in the next life, then?"
I blinked, turning to look at him, "What are you talking about, Sir? There is no such thing as a 'next life'."
"Heh, are you sure about that?"
"I- I'm not sure... But I assume I should listen to you, huh?"
"Why would you think that?" He raised a brow.
"You... you're a scholar, right? You're smart... I'm just, as you guys all say, an experiment. I have no knowledge of any of this..."
Brad let a little smile grow on his features, "Even being a scholar does not provide you with knowledge of everything. You know, some people can be smart without study. Street smart. Sometimes, they are more intelligent than those that study in schools."
"What do you mean..?"
"Isa was far more intelligent than many scholars I have come in contact with. He has lived through a good twenty years of this stuff. He has had knowledge of being a slave, being an experiment, and being a werewolf. Those are things I will never know the feeling of."
I shook my head, "Y- you do not want to know this feeling, Sir. You do not want to know what any of this is like... Please, Sir... Praise your life, and praise your place in society." I looked away from him, settling my gaze on the ground. "Please, Sir, do not ever say you want to know what this is like."
"Why is that?"
"It... It is horrible. S- So much pain... You do not want to go through what we have... trust me..."
Master has been forcing more and more work on me in the past days, and I can't take it much longer... I've had to do Isa's chores on top of my own, which means I need to cut wood and bring it to the barn, feed and brush the animals, take care of the garden, and more. I barely have time to eat or sleep anymore.
Sometimes... on rare days, Brad will help me carry firewood to the barn. But aside from that, I get no help. Heh, why would I?
Master is watching me rush around the barn doing chores right now, getting feed for the horses and brushing each one. Its not like he has anything better to do... can't he go annoy Brad..? I do everything a little faster because he's watching
Brad hasn't been out of his room in a while, he's been studying something... but when I had asked he wouldn't answer me.
Master hummed from a bit behind me. It's really scary to think that one man can ruin a life.. change it so much. Or that they can take a life... Strike that, it's not scary... it's terrifying. I don't know how I've lasted so long, especially with the advisor around now.
Oh, speak of the devil... Brad just walked in, scribbling some stuff down in a notebook. He walked over to Master and tapped his shoulder, "Vincent."
"What?"
"I wanted to know I you were interested in knowing what I found in Isa's blood."
Master turned to look at him, "You have the results?"
"Yes, now do you want to see them or not?"
"Of course I want to see them, what did you find?"
"It seems that no matter the precautions you could have taken, he would have died within the week. That, or he would have killed someone. He was going stir-crazy."
"Hm, I suppose I did the right thing, in killing him, eh?"
Brad snapped his notebook shut, "What you did was by no means right. Though it was safer than letting him rampage."
"What do you mean?"
"Too much rage was boiling in his blood. If it had kept up he would have gone completely crazy."
Master let out a growl, he turned to face me and walked over. I quickly turned back to the horse I was brushing and continued my work. Master clapped his hand on my shoulder, making me flinch. "I trust that you will not turn out the same, dog."
"S- Sir, I d- do not know..."
He snarled, "It better not happen."
"I- I d- don't know what will h- happen, Sir... I- It could-"
He smacked me hard across the face, making me whimper. Master snarled and gripped my chin in his hand, "You better learn to control yourself if you wish to live."
"Y- yes, S- Si- Sir!"
"Good." He lifted me a few inches off the ground, his hand around my throat, and threw me at the barn's wall. The back of my head thunked against the wood, sparks of pain bursting in front of my vision. I slumped to the ground, falling on my side. Blood dripped from newly opened cuts, from the knife injuries I was 'rewarded' with yesterday for speaking out against Master.
I could feel the blood running along my skin on my arm and down my neck. It hurts so much... I can't go on much longer if this keeps happening. My mind is swimming, vision growing foggy. I tried to push myself to sit up, only to gain a shocking pain shooting up my spine. I dropped back down to the ground, with a grunt.
Oh, please... whatever god there is... I need help... I- Isa... why did you have to go..? I need you...
Brad and Master's voices were growing faint, "Vincent, Why are you harming her? It isn't going to help anything."
"Once she's gone, I can start a new experiment."
"Don't end her life now, you idiot! We need some more information so you don't screw up again!"
"How dare you speak to me like that!"
"Ha, don't even try to attack me, I can easily beat you in both a battle of intelligence, and strength."
My eyes began to close slowly, the sweet feel of unconsciousness finally setting in... Finally... I won't know what's going on... I'll feel safe... Be in my own world of darkness... But... a bit of fear that I may not wake up...
I... I hope I do... I don't wanna... die... so soon...