Because the Great Leslie is feeling slothful today, she will NOT put in a section of the last installment in this new installment. Negative, the Great Splendiferous Leslie will enter a synopsis of the preceding chapter in this installment of the premarital woes of Howl and Sophie. Furthermore, the Great Splendiferous and Magnificent Leslie is feeling increasingly egotistical by the nanosecond and wishes to utilize unnecessarily long words and pontificate to her heart's delight!

Translation: There will be summay in this chap. of prev. chap. cuz meesa lazy. Me also have delusions of grandeur and feels like talking like a politician.

And you know the drill.

Okay? Good. READ!

P.S. Does Megan have a job? I wish to keep as accurate as possible, but I just don't remember... for now, she will be a CPA/mother

Sophie wound up cooking anyway, exhausting Calcifer and herself in the process. Also, she found the hidden spiders and went ballistic chasing them out of the house. Howl surprised her in two ways: by popping into her room and getting her a new GREEN (yes, i change it!) dress that she loved, and now, on with the story! (Try saying that all in one breath? Go on... I dare ya!)
The first of the awkward questions came in the middle of the second course, a nice garlic and butter shrimp dish that Sophie had had a devil of a time in making... apparently, talking to your meal is not advisable; they may come alive and start running away or attempt to put out a certain fire demon.

"So, Howl," Fanny said. "Where exactly does your family live?"

Caught off guard, Howl choked on a piece of shrimp even a two year old could've swallowed with ease and Michael dropped his fork and hit his head on the table while retrieving it. Consequently, Sophie had to help Howl recover his composure and stomp on Michael's foot, glaring daggers at the two all the while.

"Was it something I said?" Fanny asked, alarmed by these proceedings.

"Oh, no, no, no...hack I...err... they live a long way from here," Howl said uncertainly. "A very long way," he repeated as if to confirm the matter with himself. "In fact, they...err... live across the sea."

"Will they be coming?" Lettie asked, oblivious to what had just occured. Then again, most of her mind was away with thoughts of Suliman.

"Err.. Yes! Of course!" Sophie answered hastily. "I've only met them once, but they were lovely people."

"But they live so far away that they'll only be here for a little while." Howl chimed in.

"I don't think you'll be able to meet them often before the wedding." Sophie finished.

The next dish, a sauteed fish, scallop and vegetable dish (Sophie had thought that maybe seafood was a good idea, as Market Chipping, being far from the ocean, rarely got fresh fish.) passed without any problems. The conversation was light and concentrated aroung airy nothings.

It was the last course before dessert, a simple fried chicken dish (Sophie had also thought maybe seafood would be strange to her family and she should serve something they would eat) that made everything come tumbling down.

It was Martha that was the cause of that.

"Do you have any siblings, Howl? What do they do?"

As Howl had very little idea of what Megan did, he improvised that she was the wife of a chandler (that's a candlemaker, yes?) who worked for the Grand High Solemness of Cymru making candles for festivities and religious purposes. Megan herself was a tax collector, he said. In reality, she was CPA. Either way, Howl didn't know and didn't care to know Megan's job. He only knew that it had to do with taxes.

"Is Cymru the place they live? What's it like there?"

"It's very rainy, windy, but it also clears up often and we have lovely weather. It's hilly with lots of little rivers. And it has a history of different people."

"And how do you intend to support Sophie? Will you move back to Cymru, or stay here?" Fanny asked, horribly mangling the name of Megan's "country."

On and on, they grilled poor Howl, asking him question after question after prying question. In a way, even though they were only trying to make sure he would take good care of Sophie, they were worse than all the protective fathers, mothers, and Spanish Inquisitors in both worlds.

Finally, Lettie caught a discrepency in the middle of the fruit pudding Sophie had made for dessert.

"You said that Megan's brother-in-law's stepdaughter's husband's name was Jonathan. Now you call him Joseph!"

"Err... (HOW DO YOU REMEMBER THESE THINGS, YOU HARPIES!) Just...just a slip of the tongue?"

"All the things you said were lies, weren't they? I bet you're not going to stay true to Sophie and run off with someone!" Martha chimed in.

It took Howl the truth about his life and family and several oaths that were almost signed in blood to swear that he would stay true to Sophie before Fanny, Martha, and Lettie were convinced of Howl's integrity and faithfulness. During this, Lettie kept bringing up his short-lived courtship of her and Martha kept hinting that Michael had told her about his many dalliances. Calcifer was no help either. Every time someone showed signs of relenting, he would bring up something from earlier which would set them off again.

Finally, the lunch was over. As Sophie and Michael cleared up the dishes and Calcifer snickered in the fireplace, Howl sank back into his chair, craddling his head.

"Dear god, Sophie! Are those in-laws or watchdogs that I'm marrying into! And how do they remember these things? I don't even know if Megan has a brother-in-law!"

"That's your look out now, isn't it? You should've been more careful when you proposed to me."

"At the time it seemed like a good idea."

Lines of this sort passed back and forth while Sophie and Michael finally got a moment's respite before the dinner.

"Have you gotten Megan's answer?"

"Yes. She's coming. The only good thing about her coming is that she's bringing the children. She won't have the opportunity to eat me alive in front of them. I'm just hoping the presence of my fiancee will deter her from decrying my hopelessness too much."

"I can understand how Megan got that way, with you as a brother. You're my betrothed and I still can't stand you! What would it have been like to grow up with you around."

"I'll have you know that I was a model child! I was angelic, obedient, and--"

"And you made life a horror for Megan who was to look after you. I'll bet she took all the blame and took it out on you later."

"I did not! Well, there was that one time... or no, those two times... no, wait..."

When dinner came around, Howl became distinctly more cheerful by the moment. When asked about this sudden change of mood by Sophie, he replied that "I've already been sentenced by the grand high inquisitoresses. Now it's your turn."

To which Sophie retorted, "They're supposed to be assimliating Ingary, not interrogating me."

To which Howl quipped, "Mark my words, cariad, they'll question you until you feel like me."

Hi! That was long and tedious, wasn't it? I can't help but feel sorry for Howl. What'll happen to Sophie?

Went to see the movie for the second time... I will not say anything about the people who sat behind us, only that they all left with a new crush... which makes no sense to me. He's only a computer animation! Go and read the d book already!

Anyway, they seem very OOC. I really don't know why. I go on autopilot just for 15 minutes, just 15 lousy minutes, and they all ran away without me! I'm sorry, dear readers, I truly am.

Ilg-guh suh gomapdah! (Thank you for bearing with my horrible writing. Or if you want the literal translation, "Because you read, thank you!", inf.)

Au revoir, mes ami(e)s! Et merci! And danke, and grazie, and gracias, and gratias multas, and arigatou gozaimasu, and efharisto, and mahalo nui loa, and diolch o galon.

Oh yes, and Cymru is Welsh for Wales, I believe. Please feel free to correct any discrepencies.