SM OWNS.

Ever since I can remember, I'd thought about him. His tall, lean and muscular body, that that brown-orange-blonde hair, those green eyes and the accent. The accent that didn't quite fit, not in America, not anywhere but in my head.

Eight years old. Outside the grocery store, waiting for Dad to talk to Doctor Snow about my latest test results. Snippets of conversation floating through my ears, hearing but not registering.

'- absolutely nothing wrong? Are you, I mean you're one hundred percent pos-'

'Chief, just like the tests before that, and the tests before that – there is no matter –'

'So you're saying that, I don't understand... there's nothing wrong?'

'Apparently so, Chief. Your daughter... she's just... she's just gifted-'

'So, what you're saying is... there is no, I mean, what she can do, there is no... Explanation?'

Bella, Bella, reach over and take daddy's hand.

A strong, invading, soothing, commanding voice. A voice that made me alert and suspicious. A voice that made me want to embrace and run at the same time. A voice that I had to obey.

I couldn't reach daddy's hand without moving. Two steps to the right. A giant thunk. A crack. Tinkling, shards of ice dancing around our feet.

A giant hail stone, right where I was supposed to be.

'Bella, honey,' Dad was leaning down to talk to me, concern and fear rife in his eyes, 'how did you... know to move out of the way?'

You don't know, Bella, you just wanted to hold Daddy's hand.

A command, taking over my brain, controlling my mouth, forming my words, making me safe.

Dad was talking to Doctor Snow, short, sharp and angry. A conversation I'd heard a thousand times before, and one I didn't need to hear again.

10 years old. Playing Barbies. Daddy's new girlfriend cooking in the kitchen. Daddy in the recliner next to me, watching the football.

'Bella, sweetie come help me make some jello?' A kind, soothing voice from the kitchen.

No.

'No.'

'Bella!' Charlie in his gruff voice, his eyes not moving from the television, 'Don't be so rude. Go help Sue in the kitchen.'

You want to play with your Barbies.

'But I want to play with my Barbies!'

'If you don't help Sue in the kitchen you won't have any more Barbies to play with!'

Don't go help her Bella.

Warmth and cold seeping into my brain, sharp and dull and everything. The command and the control impossible to ignore.

'Isabella Marie! I mean it!'

No.

I had to push past it. I begged and begged daddy for these dolls, and I wasn't going to let him or him take them away from me.

No.

Struggling to get up, my arms wobbling and my head spinning.

NO.

Holding me back. It was like trying to walk through water. Walking against a tornado. Walking against everything.

NO!

I had never heard him this angry before, more powerful and more destructive than anything in this world.

Tripping, stumbling and thudding into the old rocking chair. Cracking it against the wall. Making Daddy jump. Making Sue scream.

'Ow! Jesus! Fuck! Charlie! Charlie!'

Third degree burns to three of Sue's fingers. She'd spilled the boiling water for the Jello.

That would have been you.

A threat that never stopped ringing in my ears.

17 years old. Jacob Black in my bed. Singlets and underwear. Sticky and sweaty and good. Taking it further. Always taking it further. Touching in places I hadn't known existed. Pleasure and pain that I hadn't know possible. Thoughts that I never thought that I'd think. Mouths where mouths weren't meant to be, but should always be.

Stop.

No.

Stop.

I couldn't, I'd come this far.

You have to stop.

No I don't. I can't.

STOP!

The sheer force of the words knocking the wind out of me. Making me gasp. Making Jacob think his job was done. Sitting up and grinning. Sliding ripped jeans back on.

'Always a pleasure, Belly Baby.'

Don't let him call you that.

'Don't call me that.'

'Whatever, same time next week?'

No.

'Ye- Mayb- I guess- I'll call you, alright?

'Alright. Better bail before the old chief gets home anyway.'

'See ya.'

He would never let me answer. Never let him say yes when I wanted to. Never let me do anything he didn't want me to do.

I threw myself back onto my bed, unbelievable frustrated. I tried to let myself fall into any kind of sleep, but he wasn't letting it happen.

Come outside.

Yes. Outside. The cool air would do me good. In a daze, I pulled my clothes on. In a fog, I trudged down the stairs, outside the door.

The path. Follow the path.

The path, to the clearing, sitting down on a log.

'Bella.'

The voice, not in my head. Next to me.

Bronze and white and green and blue and everything glowing in the moonlight.

'It's you. You're the voice. You're him.'

'I've watched you for a long time.'

He was looking at me. Penetrating, looking right through me.

'Why, it's just. I don't understand. What do you want with me?'

And my awe was replaced with anger.

'Why don't you let me do what I want? What the fuck does it have to do with you anyway? You aren't my father, you aren't my anything. You're just a voice!'

'Stop.'

And then calm, washing all over me. Fog in my brain, a voice in my head.

His mouth wasn't moving, yet I could still hear him.

We are one. You are me and I am you. We were made for each other.

And then, like a wave crashing, I was free.

'What? I mean, how could you even- I don't- just because you have this let's-control-Bella-and-not-let-her-do-anything-mind-control-freaky- shit down doesn't mean we could possibly, I mean what the fuck? Who even are you! WHAT even are you?' I was on my feet. Anger surging and bubbling in my veins.

He reached and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him. Electricity coursing through us. Frozen in time and space and everything. Too beautiful and haunting for words.

How can you doubt this?

I couldn't.

You have to wait for me.

'What do you mean?'

Wait. I will come again. Wait for me. Please.

Something I'd never heard him say before. Please. He was asking.

I was accepting.

A squeeze of my hand, and a brush of his thumb over my lips, across my eyebrow, resting on my cheek, the back of my neck.

Wait.

And then I was back in my bed, under the covers, alarm blaring for school. I thumped it off and tried to separate dream from reality. Flashes of white, bronze and green, a warm touch at the back of my neck. The word wait. Electricity and completely frozen in time. Wait. Wait. Wait, racing and racing through my mind. Never leaving and never slowing down.

I waited, and waited. I gave up college and waited tables. I waited on my father, hand and foot. I waited for Jacob to leave me alone. I waited for him. I waited to hear his voice and feel his touch.

All I did was wait.

I have stage fright right now. I can seriously never write long chapters, never ever ever, sorry! TELL ME IF YOU HATE IT OR LIKE IT ? :)