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Chapter 3
Bella's POV
The plane ride back from Italy was torture, almost worst than the ride there. On the way to rescue Edward my thoughts were focused on how I would get past the Volturi and make it out alive. The ride back to Washington had my mind full of thoughts on what I was going to do once I made it back home.
I was glad Edward was safe and I had been able to get to him in time. I could feel him watching me as I pretended to be alseep. I didn't want to have to talk to him about why he was planning on killing himself. I was too conflicted as it was, I didn't need more to add to my worries.
I still loved Edward and I knew a part of me always would but what was I going to do about Jacob? I had made the decision right before Edward had called three days ago to be with Jake. Could I still do that now that Edward was back? I was so happy that he was here with me and that he wasn't a figment of my imagination anymore. On the other hand, I felt guilty. I knew I had broken Jacob's heart leaving the way I did but I just had to save Edward. I couldn't let him die, not if there was anything I could do about it.
I'm pretty sure Edward could sense my growing inner turmoil because he grabbed ahold of my hand and did not let go the rest of the flight. It was like he was assuring me that he was there. How long would he be around for though? Was he staying in Forks now? Or would he leave me again as soon as the plane touched the ground?
A part of me hoped he would leave, so I wouldn't have to make the decision I knew would be coming. Edward or Jacob? My life or my sun? I was not looking forward to that making that choice. My mind swam with thoughts of the two of them as I slowly drifted off to sleep.
Next thing I knew Edward was waking me up. I didn't remember getting off the plane or into the rental car but somehow we were now parked in front of my house. I opened the door to the car and headed to the front porch. It didn't surprise me when Edward followed.
I unlocked the door and quietly headed upstairs hoping not to wake Charlie. I dropped my bag as soon as I walked into my room and flipped on the light switch. I sat down on my bed thoroughly exhausted. The last three days finally catching up to me. Oh how good it felt to be home! I felt the bed sink next to me as Edward sat down and wrapped his arm around me. I leaned into his embrace without even thinking, it felt just like it had before he left me.
That's when I heard it. The only thing that could posisbly break me out of my sleepy stupor. A heartbreaking howl. I knew without a doubt it was Jacob.
I jumped up off the bed, raced to the window, flung it open and called out his name "Jake!", but there was no sign of him. Jacob had been right outside my house. He knew I was back and he knew Edward was with me. He probably thought I had gone right back to being with Edward without a second thought. I can't blame him, that's probably exactly how it looked.
I felt my insides twist. What was I going to do? I needed time to think, alone. I grabbed my shower caddy and told Edward I'd be back in a few minutes. "Please don't leave. We need to talk."
I spent my time in the shower, allowing the hot water to loosen up my travel sore muscles. I kept thinking about Jacob. I had hurt him. I knew I did. I only hoped he could forgive me.
I tried to sort out my thoughts, figure out my feelings. Could I take Edward back like nothing happened? No. Did I want to keep him in my life somehow? Yes. Did I want to try and work things out with him? Possibly. I knew I couldn't live without Jacob in my life, not any more. He had saved me, healed me from the hurt adn pain caused by Edward's departure. Could I be with Jacob? I had thought I could, but that was before Edward needed saving. Who did I want to be with now?
It wasn't until the water ran cold and I had turned the faucet off that I realized I really needed to talk to Edward. Istill hadn't made up my mind but I needed to get some things off my chest. He needed to know how badly he had hurt me and I needed some answers. Why did he leave? Is he back for good? I marched back into my bedroom to find him still sitting on the edge of my bed.
"Bella," he said staring at me when I went to open my mouth, "Before you say anything, I just want you to know I never stopped loving you."
I stared at him in utter disbelief. Did he honestly think he could just walk back into my life after a six month absence and expect me to run back into his arms? That's not how it works and I told him so.
I needed answers and I intended on getting them, even if it took me the rest of the night I was bound and determined to know what the hell was going on. Plus Edward needed to know about my feelings for Jacob. I just wasn't sure how to talk to him about that situation yet.