"I…He…How...?"

"Wow…I wonder how England managed to pull that off?"

"He…My…"

Canada stole a careful glance at the flabbergasted nation to his left and bit his lip. Hugging Kumajiro to his chest, he whispered softly, placing a delicate hand on his shoulder. "America? You okay?"

"How…?"

"Al…?"

America rubbed his eyes, his glasses lifting to his forehead and falling back down, slightly askew. Blinking a couple of times for good measure, he pointed a shaky finger at the screen in front of him.

"How the fuck did he do that?!"

Paused on the 75-inch plasma screen thanks to the magic of TiVo, the great American national landmark of Mount Rushmore proudly stood in all its glory. Well…kind of. For where the stoic busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln once stood, there was now an entirely different set of people.

William Shakespeare, Winston Churchill, Queen Victoria, and Hugh Grant to be exact.

Okay, he got the other three, but Hugh Grant?

Canada unpaused the TiVo and the confused tourists in South Dakota came to life. Uncertain whispers and scratched heads spread through the crowd like wildfire as various park rangers inspected the new change in scenery to no avail. America's mouth hung slightly agape as he stared, his crooked glasses contributing to his altogether frazzled appearance.

Suddenly, the national anthem played from his back pocket, causing the nations to jump. He glanced nervously at the caller ID, and letting out an uneasy groan, flipped open the phone and held it to his ear.

"H-hello?"

"Alfred."

He bit his lip awkwardly and shot Canada a look, who mouthed 'who is it?' in return. "Boss!" He cried. "Hey- Uh… What's up?" Canada immediately winced.

"My office," the president grumbled roughly. "Now."

Click.

America flipped his phone shut and hit his head against the wall. Hard.

"So…" Canada smiled weakly. "He's unhappy?"

"I'm dead."

America's hand hovered over the dark wood of the oval office door for a few moments before finally taking a deep breath and giving it three sturdy knocks.

He was going to take this like a man, damnit.

"Come in, Alfred."

Ever so slowly, he pushed the door open and poked his head inside.

"Sit."

"Yes sir."

So maybe he was taking it more like a teenager.

…Okay, adolescent, jeez.

To his surprise, it wasn't just him and his boss in the large office. England's Prime Minister stood next to the president in front of the desk, both men holding matching scowls on their faces. Two hard wooden chairs sat in the middle of the room, one being occupied by a haughty looking England, and the other, he assumed, was meant for himself.

"What is he doing here?" America asked angrily, plunking himself down into the empty chair and crossing his arms over his chest with a huff.

England crossed his own arms and turned up his nose in annoyance. "What do you think I'm doing here, prat? My boss forced me to come." He scoffed. "Like I would voluntary come to this godforsaken place on my own. I can feel myself becoming obese just by breathing all the grease the air."

"Oh, sorry. I just assumed that with the green movement and everything, we were limiting the amount of trash in the country. My mistake."

"Why you little-!"

"Okay that is enough out of both of you." The President scolded, quickly putting a stop to the two bickering nations, who turned away from each other once again with a dignified humph. "I honestly don't know what's going on here, but it's time to put a stop to it."

"England started it." America mumbled.

"I did no such thing you bloody tosser!" England exclaimed, clenching his fists at his side

"Bullshit! You fucking ruined Mount Rushmore!"

"That was not me, that was the fairies. And it was because you imprinted your blasted flag in half of my wheat fields!"

"That was Tony! And that was only because you banned the Harry Potter movies!"

"Which I did because you drew a male reproductive organ on Big Ben!"

"Which I did because you renamed my Sears Tower!"

"Enough!" The Prime Minister exclaimed. With a tired sigh, he leaned against the desk, rubbing his temples and counting to ten in his head. "We don't care who started it. What we care about is the mutual vandalism that is perspiring between our two nations, and we care about it being put to an end once and for all."

The President nodded. "We can't stop…whatever is going on here. We can't control what you do. But for the love of God, keep it between yourselves."

"This is between you, Arthur, and you, Alfred." The Prime Minister continued calmly. "Not between the United Kingdom and United States."

"That's right," the President agreed. "You both can go and kill each other for all we care, but leave the rest of the country out of it."

America and England knew enough to at least act ashamed, though whether the downcast eyes and fiddled thumbs were truly legit was up for debate.

"Have we made ourselves quite clear?" The Prime Minister asked, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

"Yes sir. Quite clear."

"Yeah, I guess."

The President nodded, clapping his hands together once and standing straight once again. "Good. Now, there is the business of Mount Rushmore being put back to normal?" He smiled hopefully at the Prime Minister who sent England an expectant glance.

"Arthur? I anticipate you'll be fixing that straight away?"

"Yes sir, I'll get the fairies right on- And what the fuck do you think you're bloody laughing at, you git?!"

America slapped a hand over his mouth to suppress his giggles, failing miserably to hide anything in the process. "Nothing!" He squeaked, shaking his head wildly from side to side.

"Gentlemen," The President grumbled warningly, causing the nations to snap apart quickly. He sighed tiredly. "Thank you Arthur, that would be fantastic. And now that that is all cleared up, the Prime Minister and I have some real business to discuss. You both are free to go."

Both nations nodded politely and exited the room, allowing their bosses to sigh in relief when the door was closed behind them.

"You know," the President said thoughtfully, wearily falling into his plush office chair. "There's a reason they don't tell you about those guys before you take office."

The Prime Minister laughed, pulling a seat up to the desk for himself. "It would certainly make elections more interesting. Two people fighting over who would have to deal with the idiotic personifications!"

"That reminds me…What was it Arthur was saying about…fairies?"

"He uh… He has this little posse of…uh…mystical creatures and- you know what, let's just look at those documents I spoke to you about."

"Iggy! Hey! Wait up!"

England groaned, removing his hand from his and his boss's limousine's door. He was so close, too. "What do you want?"

America jogged up to him grinning widely. "I just wanted to know what you have planned for the rest of the night is all!"

"And why the hell would you want to know that?"

The younger nation rolled his eyes. "Always so defensive about everything. Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to get something to eat while our bosses save the world, but if you're going to be all grumpy about it, then maybe I'll just go on my own."

Did America just ask him out to dinner?

England's heart sped ever so slightly, and he felt his cheeks flush. No. This was a trick, that's what it was. It wouldn't even be dinner; it was like, four in the afternoon. And even if it was dinner! It wasn't like it was a…date or something. Nope.

Quickly, he covered his rosy cheeks with a scowl and reached once again to get into his vehicle. "Why would I go out to eat with you? Or have you forgotten the fact that we have done nothing but fight and vandalize each other's houses for the past week?"

"Well, let's think about it. "America leaned casually against the door of the limo, successfully blocking England's escape and causing him to scowl. "If we are out together, you can keep an eye on me. I can't do anything under your watchful gaze, now can I?" He grinned. "It's when I'm wondering around unsupervised that you have to worry."

England grumbled to himself. Damnit, the twat was right. Well, who was he to pass up a free meal, right? (And a free meal with America, something in his brain reminded him mockingly. He promptly ignored that.) "I might as well. You won't bloody leave me alone unless I do, in any matter." American nodded, grinning. "But you will be paying and we will not be going to McDonalds."

"Deal!" America grinned, grabbing England's hand and happily speeding down the street. "I know exactly where to go!"

So TGI Friday's wasn't exactly the most romantic of places. But despite fearing the canoe that was hanging on the wall above his head was going to fall and crush him, they were sitting down in a real booth, looking at real menus, and a real waitress was bringing them real food. England could forgive the atrocious décor for now, he supposed.

Their pretty brunette waitress suddenly appeared at the head of the booth with a wide smile and an empty tray in her arms. "Can I get you boys a re-fill on your drinks?"

"Yeah, that would be awesome, thanks!" America beamed, winking at the young women, sending her off blushing and giggling. England rolled his eyes, swallowing that feeling that was most definitely not jealousy down his throat. "She's cute, huh?"

"Adorable," England grumbled, giving the girl a half-hearted, irritable smile as she returned with his tea and America's coke.

She giggled about something or other, causing England to roll his eyes once again. Really. The git hadn't even done anything cute. He would know. "Your meals should be done in a few minutes, okay? Oh, and sir?" She managed to peel her eyes away from America to look at him. "Did you want your peppers and onions on a separate platter, or included with the chicken?"

"With the chicken is fine, thank you." England replied simply, blinking in confusion and raising his eyebrows as the girl began giggling once again.

"I'm sorry, I just adore your accent!" She beamed, spinning on her heels and skipping back to the kitchen.

America smirked at her retreating figure, noticeably amused. "Dude, she totally likes you."

"Bullocks."

"No seriously! She was totally digging your charismatic British charms!"

England chuckled in amusement, taking a small sip of his tea. "Please. 'British charms?'"

"Yeah." America shrugged. "That whole James Bond thing you got going on. It's charming."

Charming? America thought he was charming? A small smile snuck to his lips to match his pink dusted cheeks. Thankfully their food arrived at that moment and America was far too distracted by his bacon cheeseburger to notice. England smiled softly, cutting delicately into his meal.

"So, what brought on this sudden invitation, anyway?"

"What? A guy can't treat his old mentor to a nice dinner?"

"No." England replied simply, popping a lone shrimp into his mouth. "Especially in the middle of hostile warfare."

America grinned, taking a large bite, and much to England's disgust, continued speaking. "Let's just call this a temporary ceasefire." He swallowed hard and gently placed his burger back on his plate. "Hey, I'll be right back, okay Iggs? Gotta run to the crapper."

England made a face. "Lovely."

America beamed, standing from the booth and flashing the other man an enthusiastic thumbs up. "Don't miss me too much!"

"I'll try to hold back my tears."

With a smirk, America made his way to the bathrooms until he was positive he was no longer in England's line of sight. With one last glance over his shoulder, he made a quick right, ducking behind the restaurant's cash register where their waitress was tapping away at the computer.

"Hey!" He called, lightly tapping her on the shoulder.

She jumped slightly, but grinned when she saw who it was. "Oh! Hi! Can I help you with something?"

America nodded, gesturing his head toward his table. "He didn't want me to say anything, but it's actually my buddy's birthday today,"

"Really?" The girl asked. America nodded.

"He always says he doesn't like it when I make a big deal out of things, but I know deep down he loves all the attention," America lied. He knew for a fact that the only thing England hated more than attention was attention in an embarrassing way. "So, I was wondering, if it wouldn't be too much trouble…"

The girl waved him off. "Oh, no trouble at all! Leave it all to me!"

"Great, thanks so much!" Pleased with himself, America made his way back to his table to prepare for the show.

The nations were just finishing up their meals when the parade of employees exited in the kitchen. Wearing party hats, clapping their hands and toting around a large ice cream sundae with a sparkler sticking out of the top near the cherry, they made their way through the tables, as other diners smiled and clapped along, following the group with their eyes.

England shook his head. "I always feel so sorry for the poor sap that gets publicly humiliated when restaurants do this."

"Yeah, me too." America nodded, trying his hardest to suppress his laughter. "Oh look, they're heading this way!"

England's eyes widened, realization hitting him that he and America were, indeed, the only people in that particular area.

The cluster of employees surrounded their booth, grinning as they placed the sundae in front of England and placed a ridiculous party hat atop his head. America finally released his laughter when the handfuls of confetti were thrown into England's face, guffawing loudly and joining in on the clapping.

"I am going to fucking kill you."

"I don't know what I've been told!" The employees started singing loudly.

"I don't know what I've been told!

"Someone here is getting old!

"Someone here is getting old!

"Sound off!"

"Happy!

"Sound off!

"Birthday!

"Sound off!

"Happy Birthday from all of us at Friday's!!"

The room erupted into applause as the employees made their way back to the kitchen; England's glare never wavering from his cackling American acquaintance, who at that moment, was just beginning to calm down and grin at him.

"Aw come on, free ice cream!" America snickered, reaching over the table for a spoonful.

England glared and pulled his dessert away from America's grabbing hands, scooping up a spoonful for himself. "I would watch your back, wanker. Ice cream or not, I'm going to make you pay for this."

"I expected nothing less." America smirked, managing to steal the tiniest spoonful of whip cream and shooting England a cocky wink. "Temporary ceasefire officially suspended."

There we have it! I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I almost didn't put the dinner scene in this one, but now I'm very glad I did!

SO The real fun is about to start! Ha ha! Now, I have a ton of ideas for pranks I want them to pull, but if any of you have any particularly good ones you wanna see these two pull on each other, let me know! It may be included! 'Till next time!

(Oh and PS, I really love TGIFriday's. Like, a lot. Ever try the brownie obsession? SO GOOD.)