AN - Thank you once again for all the reviews, comments and follows. They are loved as always.
Ianto looked as immaculate as ever in his suit and Gwen stared as the troubled look on his face remained even as his features rearranged themselves and the figure dissolved in front of her to become Carys.
"Gwen, I want you to stay calm." Carys held her hands out in front of her in a gesture aimed to pacify.
"What the hell was that?" Calm was no longer an option for Gwen. Her voice raised along with her temper. Her emotions, battered enough in the last three weeks, had been pushed and stretched even further in the last 24 hours and she had had enough. Now suddenly she was seeing Ianto, but really it was Carys. No. Calm was not an option.
"Gwen, please lower your voice, Jack's asleep."
"I will not lower my...asleep?"
"Yes. Next door. He finally fell asleep a little while ago, but he was having nightmares. He's had so many nightmares. He barely sleeps now, even less than normal. I couldn't bare it; seeing him like that. I transformed into Ianto to sooth him. When he wakes again he'll just think it was a dream; just a good one for once."
"You can do that? You can just change the way you look and sound?"
"Into Ianto's form yes."
"Then why don't you? Why don't you just help us all and do that? You could make this all go away for us. You said yourself you have his thoughts and memories; now you say you can look like him! Why don't you do this for us?" A niggling voice that went ignored told Gwen she was being irrational, but her need for things to be put right fuelled her anger.
Her anger was mirrored by Carys who snapped at her.
"And how would that help me?" she growled.
Gwen stopped, pulled short, her eyes wide with shock.
Carys lowered her eyes and paused to steady her voice.
"I've never had to do this before. Whenever my Former has died, I've gone back to my Abstract form; no emotion, no concerns. But this time I'm still here and I'm having to grieve. And it hurts. It really hurts Gwen. I need Ianto back for me as much as you need him for you and Jack." Her eyes swam with tears as she turned her gaze back to Gwen. "I need him back Gwen, and me pretending to be him won't help that. It won't help you either."
Gwen wasn't ready to give up on the argument. Feeling angry was better than the constant hurt and ache in her heart.
"So then why did you just do it for Jack? You just did that to make him feel better. Why would you do..." she paused suddenly. "Wait. You said yesterday that you have Ianto's feelings so you loved Lisa. That means that you..."
"Don't." Carys interrupted sharply. "Don't say it."
"Oh my god. His grief. It's hard enough for me to see, but you..."
"Gwen! Please!"
"Okay, I'm sorry." Gwen raised her hands in a sign of surrender. "Let's get on shall we eh? See what we can get done before Jack wakes up."
Carys gave a curt nod and turned back to the strewn artefacts.
A little while later Carys looked up from her pile of artefacts.
"Jack's waking up. I'll go and replace those coffees."
She stood and left, and moments later Jack emerged from the side room. Gwen had to admit that he looked more rested than she had seem him the last few weeks. He gave her a small smile, before looking around for Carys.
"She's gone for coffee. You got some sleep then?"
Jack gave another small smile, like he knew a secret he wasn't willing to share.
"Yeah. Looking forward to coffee though."
Gwen smiled back. She picked up the bag of pastries she had brought with her. They were a bit squashed from being dropped, but edible. "Shall we start on these while we wait?"
Jack came and sat next to Gwen, taking a pastry from the offered bag. He leant close into Gwen, resting his head against hers for a moment. "Thank you."
Gwen felt everything that was meant on those two small words and that touch and blinked back the tears that suddenly sprang into her eyes.
They ate in silence for a few while until Carys returned with coffee. She sat down next to them, forming a triangle on the floor.
"Pastry?" Gwen offered her the bag.
"No thank you. You have them."
"If you don't need to eat why do you drink coffee?"
Carys gave a little laugh. "I came into world with Ianto's mind and have lived with him for years. My body may not need the caffeine, but the addiction is still there. I never stood a chance. And you can't beat a good cup of coffee."
Jack and Gwen both murmured their agreement and they continued their breakfast in silence once again, but this time there was a more companionable feeling to their quietness. It was more of a lack of need to talk than just because they had nothing to say.
As they finished Jack said, "We'd better get back to it."
"One question." said Gwen, "What do we do when we find it?"
Jack and Carys both stilled. Jack gave Carys a hard look, daring her to answer.
"When we find it we find a body to host it and a way to transfer it." Carys saw no point in hiding the truth at this point.
Gwen looked at them both in surprise. "We find a body?" she said incredulously.
Jack continued to look at Carys.
"Or we use her."
Gwen withdrew a little as she felt the atmosphere suddenly change again.
"We can't use me. This form isn't meant to be inhabited by a human life. And it would push me out. I'm not ready to die." Carys' voice was hard.
"Then why are you here?" Jack's voice was little more than a growl.
"Because I want Ianto back. It wasn't his time. He shouldn't have died." Carys spoke through clenched teeth, her mouth contorted in something akin to a snarl.
The silence descended thick and heavy again; Jack momentarily looking like he had been slapped in the face. He stood wordlessly and stalked away. Carys squeezed her eyes shut and swore to herself. She felt animosity radiating from Gwen and kicked herself for taking things so far. She remained still as Gwen got up and left her too.