Chapter 2

This had to be a dream. Things like this just didn't happen in my life. I was lucky to have a chance at happily ever after, but it was gone. It didn't seem possible that I could be allowed to have even a sliver of joy, of hope.

That was what this was to me. Hope. Being held by a Cullen. It didn't matter that he had blond hair instead of bronze, that he was taller and leaner rather than tall and thin. All that mattered was that he was standing here, his stone arms embracing me, proving to me that he was real, that they were all real.

I stood there in his arms for what felt like hours. His hand traced comforting lines up and down my spine, but didn't stop touching me. It was almost heaven to me. I felt complete. I felt alive

I heard footsteps behind us and felt Jasper's muscles tense underneath me. He pulled back and stood me to his side. I didn't open my eyes because I didn't want this to end, this moment of content.

"Good Evening Chief Swan." His voice was rich with a slight southern accent.

I had never really noticed it before. My history with Jasper was pretty much nonexistent. He was the newest to the Cullen lifestyle and had a hard time adjusting. The proof of that was my birthday party before the Cullens left. It wasn't his fault that I was clumsy and couldn't even open a gift without causing a disaster.

If I wanted to admit the truth the whole thing was Edward's fault. As much as I hated to say it. When I sliced my finger I had known that Jasper wasn't going to hurt me. He was in control. It was only when he stepped forward that one inch that Edward feared for me and threw me back, trying to protect me. That was when it ended. One movement of his arm condemned me to this half life.

It had taken me weeks to understand what happened that night, weeks to exonerate myself from the guilt I felt at breaking that family.

"You're a Cullen boy aren't you?" My father asked, using all the authority that came with being a cop for so many years. He didn't look pleased. His eyes were narrowed in on Jasper, daring him to lie.

"Yes sir." Jasper replied tersely.

"Bella," my father looked at me. "Why don't you go say hello to the Newtons and thank them for all of their help."

I knew a command when it was issued. I didn't want to walk away. I looked up at the blond man at my side, my eyes pleading with him to not leave, to not disappear on me, to stay even if it was only for an hour.

He must have picked up on my desperation because he nodded at me to go. I looked up at my father, narrowing my eyes at him, daring him to scare Jasper off. He ignored me and pushed me softly in the directions of the Newtons.

Luck seemed to be with me because they had moved over closer to where we were standing. I exhaled loudly, earning me a smirk from Jasper when I looked back at him. From this stance I would be able to hear everything my father was going to say.

"Bella," Mrs. Newton's soprano voice sang to me as she pulled me into a tight hug. "Congratulations sweetheart. We are so proud of you."

I nodded and went along with whatever she was saying. I leaned my head further over so that I could hear better the interaction going on a few feet from me.

"Why are you here Mr. Cullen?" My father asked.

"Esme and Carlisle wanted to see Bella's graduation so I volunteered to come out and video tape it for them. They are missing her quite badly sir."

Charlie's face turned a bright shade of red then deepened with a purple twinge. Even from my spot away from them I could see his jaws grinding against each other. "Missing her? They are missing her?"

My father was near screaming now.

"If they cared so much about her well being then why didn't they call or write? Why couldn't they say good bye to her in person? Do you know what she has been through since then?"

I decided that now was the time to step in. I thanked the Newtons and told them I would send postcards. I made my way back over to them and practically glued myself to Jasper's side.

"Isn't it nice to see Jasper Dad?" Charlie looked at me like I had lost my mind.

I turned to Jasper, not knowing how much longer he would be here. "Please, give us just a moment."

He smiled. "Of course. I will wait here."

I grabbed a hold of Charlie's arm and steered him over a few feet. I knew that Jasper would overhear with his sensitive hearing but I didn't care. Privacy wasn't exactly high on my priority list. Getting my father to understand how much this meant to me was.

"Dad, please. I need this. I know this is hard for you, one of them being here, but I need this. I will never move forward unless I know." I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, ready to trail hot and salty down my cheeks. I touched his arm, begging for him to understand.

He sighed deeply and looked at me his face set in a rigid line. "I'm not happy about this Bells. Spend time with him tonight and find the closure you need. Mark from the station is here and will give me a ride if I ask."

"That won't be necessary Dad. Take my car and go home. Jasper will make sure that I get home safely." He grunted, obviously not agreeing with my statement.

I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him gently on the cheek. "Thank you for understanding."

I handed him the keys and watched him walk off to talk to some of the guys from the station and their kids. I walked over to the spot where Jasper was standing, deliriously happy that he was waiting for me.

We started walking out to his car. "I know that this is difficult for you Jasper." God, this wasn't coming out right at all. I breathed in deeply and started again. "I'm sure that I'm not exactly the best person for you to be around but I would love to talk to you. If that wouldn't be too much to ask of you."

"Calm down Bella. I'm not going anywhere, well yet at least." He chuckled. "Honestly, I'm in control right now. You have nothing to fear from me."

I looked at his eyes and saw the beautiful gold color that I had come to love so much and wasn't afraid anymore. I was probably crazy and anyone who had seen Jasper the way I had a few months ago would have probably ran for their lives; calling on every God in the heavens to help them.

He opened the door to a sleek gray BMW and I slid into the car without making a fool of myself and tripping. He jumped in on the other side and started to engine.

"Hungry?" He asked as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"Not really. Honestly, I'm too excited to eat right now."

He laughed and followed the road that would take us to his former home. We didn't talk, I just basked in his presence. He pulled into the long, winding drive way and parked in front of the large white house.

He got out and walked over to my side of the car. I stepped out and started to make my way up the steps to the house.

Instantly I was hit with a barrage of emotions. Every happy memory that this house held for me slapped me in the face and near doubled me over in pain.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper's hand clasp on tightly to the wood pillar, crushing it in his palm.

"Do you think that maybe we could go some place else?" I asked. "I'm not usually this upset when I come out here. I guess it's just been an eventful day."

His grip relaxed and his gaze searched my face like he was trying to read my thoughts. He nodded and we got back into the car. We decided to just drive around, maybe head out to the coast.

About fifteen minutes into the drive the conversation started.

"When I got to the house last night, I thought I caught your scent lingering. I'm not wrong am I?" He asked softly. "You go there don't you? You try to remember us." He wasn't asking, he was stating the truth.

"You're right," I began. "I do go to the house for that reason. I guess the fanciful side of my brain is hoping that one day I will be there and you guys will all be there waiting for me." I admitted, ashamed that I did this and no one knew that I did. Charlie never asked why I got home late. I only stopped by on the nights that I was working at the store and was already in Forks.

I decided to steer the conversation away from that for now. "How are you doing? What have you been doing?"

I was hoping that he would take the hint and just keep talking. I had missed them all so much that I could listen to him talk for hours even if it was just him saying cow over and over again. It was sweet music to my ears. I knew that my time was limited and that he wouldn't stay so I would milk it for everything that I was worth.

"I have been well. I've been taking night classes on philosophy at Ithaca." He didn't go any further into detail and I was disappointed. "Why don't we talk about what it is that is first and foremost in your mind?"

I blushed, feeling the heat pool in the apples of my cheeks. Of course he would know. You didn't have to be a mind reader to know that I was thinking of him. As much as I tried not to I couldn't not think of him. He was in my mind when I woke up, when I sat in class, when I went to bed at night. His face always swam before my eyes, his words always echoed in my ears. I always felt him because the ache in my heart was now my constant friend.

"How is he?" I asked softly. I couldn't bring myself to say his name out loud. I heard it enough in my mind, I didn't have the strength to actually formulate his name to my lips. It was too painful.

He drew an unneeded breath and wrapped his fingers more securely around the steering wheel. I was sure that if he had blood flowing in his veins his knuckles would have turned white.

Before he could speak we pulled up to the beach access and parked. I opened the door and started to make my way down to the beach. I stopped and turned around realizing that he wasn't following. He was getting something out of the trunk of the car. A blanket. I laughed because I hadn't even felt the chill in the air. Crazy that it was the end of May and the weather was still cold.

He walked beside me holding onto my elbow to steer me over the sand. I was clumsy and knew that such a soft surface couldn't be good for dexterity. He wrapped the thick white blanket around me and sat next to me on the moon kissed sand.

I took in our surroundings. The full moon was high in the sky causing the sand to almost glow. I looked at the man sitting next to me, the pale light casting shadows on his face as we sat in the dark.

"Edward is doing as well as can be expected." He looked at me and I felt a wave of sympathy brush against me.

"Oh." Was all I could say.

"He has been traveling, composing, pretty much keeping to himself." He looked off into the almost black water. I could tell he was holding something back. I looked at him urging him to continue.

"Bella, you have to understand. This life..." he trailed off. "This life is a difficult one. We have all had to make sacrifices and you are Edward's. He left you, we left you," he corrected. " We left to give you a chance. A chance to live your life the way you were meant to."

He was silent for a moment and so was I. I had known that he would say this because it was the exact thing that Edward had said. I tried to let it sink in, hoping that it would help relieve some of the pressure in my chest. It didn't. It only angered me and I felt myself ready to lash out.

"The life I was meant to live. Am I understanding you correctly or did I just hear a load of shit come out of your mouth?" I laughed darkly. "Didn't any of you think that maybe the path I was on was the path my life should have taken?"

His eyes hardened as he caught my glare. "Bella."

I didn't give him a chance to continue. "No! I feel like my life has ended. I can't move on! I am stuck in this world that you all left me in. I am alone. I can't function."

I stood up, the blanket falling to ground. I walked away for a second and walked back to kneel in front of him. I grasped his arms with my hands, forcing him to look at me, forcing him to understand. "This life that he has condemned me to is no life worth living. How would you feel to know that you weren't good enough, that you..." The tears were falling fast and hot down my cheeks.

"That you what Bella?" He asked, his voice icy.

"That you weren't enough. Plain and simple." I feel back and rested my arms on my legs. The truth that I had been hididng from for so long had finally sunk in.

Here you go guys. Chapter 2. WOW! This was so fun. I forgot how much I LOVE writting Bella and Jasper as well as hard felt, gut wrenching emotion. Such amusement, such joy I am getting right now. Review my darlings!!