Saved

Chapter 7

I made it up to my room without any more incidents. I guess everyone wanted to stay away to give me a little breathing room. Truthfully, I was happy they did. My emotions were bouncing all over the place, from high peaks to catatonic lows. I hadn't felt this much tension within myself since the Cullen's left Forks.

I took a long time brushing my teeth. There was something relaxing in the simple task. Just brush in circles, under the teeth, slow glides over the gums, and back to the circles. It was nice to do something and feel like you accomplished something. You started out with smelly breath, probably from garlic or spices and ended up with gleaming white teeth and a mouth that smelled like mint.

I shut the light off in the bathroom and slipped between the rich blue sheets. This bed was heaven. That was one thing to be said for the Cullen money. It couldn't buy happiness, but it could buy one amazing night's sleep for a human.

When the room was shrouded in darkness I pulled a few pillows closer to my body and hugged them tight. I could feel all of the tension release from my body to penetrate into the mattress. Minutes later, and without even realizing it, I fell into a deep sleep.

The forest was so beautiful during the day. Pale streams of light filtered through the trees, almost giving the woods a fairy tale glow. The bark of the trees was a beautiful deep brown, while the leaves changed from an emerald green to almost a lime. I could hear the sounds of birds chirping off in the distance, and a slight rustling caused by the wind. The smell of the damp earth filled my nose, and surprisingly I didn't find it an offensive odor, just rich and alive. It smelled like home, like Forks.

I followed as quickly as I could to the man in front of me. He was unreal and with him in the setting I knew it was almost too good to be true. His bronze hair fluttered in the slight breeze and his skin sparkled every time the dim light passed over his body. He looked like a work of art with his marble skin and face that could have been chiseled by one of the classic masters.

"Edward, wait. Please slow down," I asked him, slightly out of breath, but also somewhat amused. He wasn't usually in this much of a hurry.

He turned to smile at me, but it wasn't a smile I knew. It was hard, and his eyes didn't light up. They were dark and dull, unlike I had ever seen them before.

His cold hand touched my elbow and held on to me with an iron grip. I didn't fall again as he guided us further into the forest. We must have walked for near an hour until he stopped. He let go of my arm instantly, as though it had burned him.

"Edward, what's going on?" I asked him, starting to feel concern. He usually took whatever chance he could to touch me.

"Bella, we're leaving." His voice was gentle but still held a hint of anger to it.

"Leaving? What do you mean?" I shot the questions out as fast as I could. "You and I are leaving? Is something going on I need to know about? Is it because of my birthday, because that doesn't bother me. I forgive you, all of you."

"It's time for us, my family and I, to go, to move on." He looked away from me, not willing to hold my gaze. "Carlisle can't claim his age any more, Jasper needs his time, my family needs to reconnect."

"I'll come with you." I was at the point of begging now. He had promised me he wouldn't go, that he would never leave me alone. I could feel the earth opening up, ready to swallow me whole.

"We don't want you to come. Our world is not for you. Humans do not survive in our way of life."

"Then change me. You don't have to do it yourself if you're afraid you can't. Carlisle will do it, or even Alice. Please." I would sell my soul at this point if it meant being with him.

"They've already left. I stayed behind to say goodbye. They said a clean break would be better for you." His eyes had frozen as did his body.

A clean break. I remembered all of the x-rays I had ever had taken. The doctor would put them on the white board and point out the various breaks and fractures. A clean break, to heal easier.

"You could stay," I said quietly to him.

"I will always love you, Bella, but we both need to recognize that this is better. Because I'm...we're tired of pretending for you. Everything about our relationship with you goes beyond our nature and you're pushing the limits of what we can endure."

"Don't." I could barely choke the word out. I couldn't believe this was happening. "Don't go."

"I'm sorry, Bella, but you're not good for me..."

I didn't hear the rest of what he said. I had always known, but here in the middle of the forest with tree's and damp air pressing in on me, I knew. He didn't want me.

I heard a quiet tread as the man who stood beside me walked away. I finally looked up and tried to follow him. I ran in the direction I thought he went. I ran for hours. Not able to push down the pain any longer I sat down, letting the dew that always blanketed the ground seep into my jeans while I folded my arms around my legs.

I lost track of time as I sat there, rocking myself back and forth. My mind replayed every image of him. I could see him running with me, laughing when I would fall, his eyes and how they would glaze over when he kissed me, him laying sprawled out across my bed. I let it out as a sob tore through my chest. I could feel my heart burning and clenching like it was being squeezed in a vice grip.

"Edward," I screamed. "Please, come back. Please."

I woke up screaming his name. When they left I used to have this same dream every night. I hadn't had it in months, or to even this intensity. Charlie said most nights I just whimpered and cried out Edward's name.

I wiped my hand across my clammy forehead, drenching my palm in cold sweat. I looked over at the small clock that sat on the nightstand and saw it was past time for me to be up. I threw the wet covers off of me and looked down at them, annoyed they would need to be washed so quickly.

The water in the shower was a godsend and I made it as hot as I could stand. I hated nights I would have nightmares. When the Cullen's first left I would try to keep myself awake as long as I possibly could to drive the dreams away. The nights I couldn't I would always wake up screaming and minutes later I would be in the bathroom heaving up the contents of my stomach.

I shut off the water and wrapped myself in a towel, tucking it under my arms to hold it in place. I stepped out of the shower and was surprised to see Rosalie sitting on the toilet, inspecting her nails.

"Are you ready for today?" she asked with an evil glint in her eye.

I looked in the mirror and saw the deep purple bags under my eyes. I groaned. Shopping all day long was not something that I was looking forward to. A good book outside, yes. But shops all day long and the constant assault of perfume, just wasn't something I thought I could handle today.

"Great! I knew you would be," she said as she watched me closely examine my face in the mirror.

She moved so fast I could barely see her. From under the counter she pulled out a large bag I would bet all of my money on was filled with weapons of torture. She pulled out a small tube with a creamy liquid in it. Her tawny eyes took on a maniacal gleam to them and she brandished the weapon in front of me. I sucked in my courage and took the seat she had just vacated.

Twenty five minutes later I emerged from the bathroom, still in my towel. I had to admit, even though I may not like her, she was an artist with cosmetics. My hair was shiny with large curls gracing my hips. My eyes were bright and gave away no evidence of my long night. My full lips were even bigger and were a perfect dewy pink. I would have to figure out a way to bribe her to tell me how to recreate this every day. It was a lengthy process, but well worth it.

She followed me out to the balcony where Esme was sitting on one of the delicate wrought iron chairs with a steaming plate of breakfast waiting for me. I sat down, and to my amazement my towel didn't fall and I didn't blush at my semi clothed state.

"I can't tell you how pleased I am that we'll be spending the day together," Esme said with a bright smile that should be illegal at this time of day.

I plastered a large smile on my face and hoped it wouldn't look too fake. I looked over at Rose, hoping she wouldn't notice. She was as sharp as a whip, even with blonde hair. She made tearing notions with her hands as she looked at me.

"Rose," Esme said quietly, with all the sternness that only a mother could reproduce.

"Sorry."

Alice came in a minute later, joy written all over her face and a garment bag slung over her arm. I was surprised to see her smiling. I was sure after last night she wouldn't want to be in the same room with me, let alone spend the day with me.

"I brought you an outfit," she smiled sheepishly at me. "Rose told me she trashed all your stuff."

Alice looked at Rosalie like she had committed a sin. In Alice's mind it probably was. I had always thought she was of the mind that no matter the outfit you should always keep it.

"Trust me, I did her a favor," Rose bit back.

I ate the rest of my food and took a few sips of the orange juice Esme had set out for me. I grabbed the outfit off of my bed where Alice had laid it down and disappeared into the bathroom while Alice and Rosalie argued over which store to go into first.

I pressed my fingers to my temples to soothe out my irritation as I took the dress out of the bag and hung in on the back of the door. Freaking vampires! Why a dress? But it wasn't even that, it was the box of heels she had managed to sneak past me that had me so irritated.

I ground my teeth in annoyance and slipped the yellow, heavily embroidered and bejeweled dress over my head. I sat down on the toilet and strapped the thin brown heels onto my feet. I stood up awkwardly, not used to a heel any higher than a tennis shoe and made my way out of the bathroom, wishing I could lock myself in here all day. I tried not to look as I passed the mirror on the way out but couldn't stop myself. I had to give Alice credit, even though I hated to, she could put together an outfit.

"I think we should go to Paris for the day," I heard Alice argue.

"I think we should go to Milan," Rosalie shot back.

"Paris, Rose. She's never been there before."

"She hasn't been anywhere. It's better to start out small."

"We're going to Palac Flora. It has enough shops to please you both and it won't be overwhelming for her. Think of her and not yourselves," came Esme's voice of reason.

I decided now would be the time to step in. "I'm ready."

"Ohhhh... Rose. You owe me twenty bucks. I told you she wouldn't say anything about the outfit," Alice mocked.

"Well, it would make it easier for me to win if I could see the future, too."

I caught Esme's eye as she rolled hers at the same time.

Alice handed me a small bag as I walked out of my bedroom door. I opened it up to find my wallet, passport and cell phone.

"Thanks, Alice." I gave her a hug as she started to walk away. Nothing would assure her of my forgiveness more than actually showing her. I blushed and walked down the stairs to join everyone in the foyer.

Carlisle met us by the door along with Emmett and Jasper. I hung back as I watched their farewells. They were all short and sweet. I had to suck in the bitterness and jealousy that washed over me while watching them. They were all secure in their relationships, sure that nothing would ever tear them apart, not death or abandonment.

Emmett gave me a bear hug as I walked past him and Carlisle patted my shoulder. Alice was out the door as I passed Jasper. I felt a wave of calm directed at me as I watched her go. He reached out and touched my hand, probably hoping the serenity would last me through the day. Instead of the peace I felt something else.

I looked down at his white skin resting on my hand and felt it again. For the first time since Edward had left, I felt a spark.