Always: Ciaossu everyone, I'm here to introduce out final guest in this season...LANPO...dana (right)?
Lanpo: Yeah, I guess your right.
Giotto: Dear gawd, but Always, aren't you like...I don't know...4 weeks behind on your updates?
Asari: I'm pretty sure shes aware of that, just last week shes been jotting down reminders on her arm...and writing drafts, jokes, and ideas on scratch paper...or on her world history quizzes...
G.: And shes still failed to update till today...
Always: I was too busy watching Gattaca at school, its a really good movie! But the awesome guy died T^T I had to see him die two times...WHY EUGENE WHYYY!!!
Alaude: That's no excuse, especially now, your on spring break, perfect time to come up with new ideas and update.
Always: its not spring break...its EASTER BREAK!
Alaude: -glare-
Always: No Alaude, don't even think about killing anyone. Or is this your April Fools prank on me?
Asari: He's gonna kill someone? Wow, what motives...
Giotto: ...uhm, prank?
G.: -face palms-
Lanpo: Anyways, Always does not own KHR, all rights go to Akira Amano...
Always: Now read this ninja double update with your dying will! And watch out for these guys foul mouths...Ciao!
~Broadcast 6: Shooting Clams~
"Ciaossu everyone, Tsuna and the gang are still out, we Acrobaleno are also not going to show up for awhile again. We have new replacements."
"Reborn, have you seen Skull, he still owes me $1000." Mammon shuffled onto the screen.
"Who knows, have you seen our replacements though? They were suppose to be here 3 hours ago."
"Maybe the traffic is bad, you know with the news of the cloud guardian being gone." Fong chimed in, "Anyways, Verde got the machine working, we best be going now."
"Muu, fine...at least I'll get my money either way." Mammon grumbled making his way out of the room.
"Well, we'll see you soon Reborn," Fong sighed as he hopped out following Mammon.
"Hnn, I do wonder where the replacements are," Reborn muttered as he shuffled back in forth in the room.
"VOOOOOIIIII!!!"
"Hnn? Who the-"
"Shut up you piece of trash!" another voice echoed off the walls, followed by the sound of broken glass to the head.
"VOII! You don't go flinging wine glasses at peoples heads! We have to pay for those things!"
"I care, why?"
"Maa, maa," another voice sprang out of no where, "Why not we all calm down and get a move one, we're already late as it is."
"For one Lus-sis is right..." a tired voice yawned, "Where is the entrance door to the news room anyways?"
"Ushishi, only commoners use the entrance door, the prince would rather break a glass window to get in."
"But then the company will sue us sempai, we are already in as much debt as we could be..."
"I care, why?"
The sound of glass sounded from behind the supposed sound proof walls.
"Ushi, bossu, if you want to throw wine glasses at people, aim at the Fuku Taichou (Battle-Strategy Captain)."
"VOOOIII! Don't throw the blame on me you blasted prince!"
"Nobody says the same things as me trash."
"I suggest you all get to your positions," Reborn grumbled, trying to retain the anger from the imbeciles outside, "If you don't I might have to load chaos." *1
~Least has the most Importance~
"Huwooo, look Bossu I've got the most important part of the update!" Levi rejoiced, he had a reason too, he being the most minor, abused and tormented character had the director somehow give him the late update job.
"Beep, boop, bop, boop." the Mosca sat next to Levi.
"I thought this thing was defeated and gone?"
"They lied." Mammon chimed in.
"Mammon! I thought you already left!"
"That's what you think, muu..." Mammon muttered, "Apparently Verde sent us back to this time. Skull tampered with the machine earlier...so now we have enough time for a double update..."
"I thought this was a single not a double?"
"We are behind on updates so the directors making this a double update stupid..."
"What!?"
"You heard me. So now I am in charge of here too so I unfortunately have to join in the job..."
"I thought I was going to be the announcer, and only me."
"You dream big for such a small brain."
"What was that!?"
"Nothing, muu, anyways we best be moving on with this 4 week late update...or should I say 4? I heard the new arc chapter came out today."
"But we aren't talking about that! We are talking about Chapter 280 that came out March 4th and Episode 174 that came out on March 6th."
"Don't smart mouth me Levi, it's too early for your small head to comprehend insults..." Mammon pointed out, "Anyways Chapter 280 was called "The Last Blow. In which it left off with Yuni dying...muu, goodness how many times do I have to be reminded of that..."
"As many times as possible." Levi then stared at the camera for a couple of minutes. "Do I read off the paper or do I say what I think."
"No one cares about what you think." Mammon stated annoyed.
"What! Why you-"
"In this chapter Tsuna is angry at Byakuran, and to sum it all up, Tsuna beats him up or in other words, killed him."
"With a giant X-Burner." Levi thoughtfully added.
"Just to tell you Levi, your not thoughtful, I think Mosca has a better personality and power then you."
"I could beat that robot in one hit!" Levi exclaimed readying his parabola's.
"In the video game you couldn't." Mammon pointed out as Mosca lifted its arm readying to fire its lasers.
"Psshhh, next we have Episode 174 that came out. 4 weeks ago."
"I think the director would start getting angry if we keep rubbing it into her face." Mammon turned to look at the camera man who was shaking his head profusely. "The staff seem to be against it too."
"Whats the worst that could happen? Look watch, 4 F**KING WEEKS LATE!" Levi challenged.
Mammon wavered a bit as the Mosca roared to life and crashed onto Levi.
"See, that's what would happen." Mammon hovered above the rubble while he looked down at the twitching Levi, "It seems she let you off easy that time."
"W-what the f**k!? That wasn't easy at all!" Levi mumbled underneath the ruins.
"Well, since Levi is incapable of accomplishing this task." Mammon started, "I guess I'll wrap things up."
"Basically what happened 4 weeks ago was the Shouichi triggered Byakuran's ability to see into parallel worlds. This was because Shouichi traveled into the future before. How Shouichi got ti the future was by Lambo's 10 year later bazooka ammo that accidentally fell on him while he was trying to put it at the top of his closet."
"Ughh...Mammon go call the medics, I don't want boss seeing me in this state." Levi grumbled.
"Muu, if I were you, I would keep my yap shut because we are on public television." Mammon complied, "Anyways, after traveling a few times, meeting Byakuran a couple of times. Shouichi finally got to a future which erased his mind, got a list of what to do from his future self, followed the list, regained his memories 5 years later, and now is at the current time speaking to the tenth and the others about it."
"Mmmph!" Levi exclaimed as the Mosca rubble broke four of his parabola, which stabbed him at all angles.
"You really got it easy, didn't you? Anyways...what else, oh and Shouichi demanded a Choice rematch, Byakuran declined, Shouichi persist, Byakuran still declines, Yuni appears and accepts the rematch, and it gets left off from there...I think."
"Can we just move on to the other updates?"
"Oh yeah, I forgot this was a double update for a second. Well, more pay for me."
"Ugh..."
"Well the second half of this (Yes its not done yet 0-o) is the other update the week after this one...Chapter 281 called "The Return" came out March 11 and Episode 175 called "Escape" came out March 20."
"Mammon just get the Mosca off of me." Levi shouted from underneath the rubble.
"Muu. There's gonna be a fine." Mammon concluded, "Anyways Chapter 281, "The Return" was just about everyone rejoicing over Byakuran's death, everyone's cheering about winning, but then Tsuna goes all angsty saying 'no we didn't win, so much has been lost.' and the Acrobaleno, like me were brought back."
"That technically was the meeting with all the Acrobaleno the FIRST time, but apparently this is the manga, and now everyone is going back to their time."
"Mmph." Levi mumbled as the rubble crashed harder onto his head.
"The episode called "Escape" is really self explanatory, and since I don't want to waste too much time I'll give you the really really abbreviatedness-ness...and shut up Levi, no one cares about you."
Silence...
"Muu, at least he's dead, now then all that happened was...they escape...Byakuran forbids it...Mukuro appears even though I'm pretty sure he was dead...and they escape back to their time. The end."
"LEVI VOLTA!"
"Great, he's back..."
"YES I AM AND I SHALL GET MY REVENGE MAMMO-"
Levi got cut off as a giant icicle crashed onto him.
"Beep, boop, bop, bip. Xanxus. Is. Next. With. The. Weather." the Mosca beeped.
"Muu, didn't think it could do that." Mammon glanced down at Levi, who was apparently crying out boss, boss..."You know if you want me to help that would be a 500 dollar fine right?"
~Reloading the Blasted Gun~
"What the hell is wrong with this piece of trash!" Xanxus yelled at the fax machine that was apparently shooting out ads and reports simultaneous.
"Xanxus, don't damage the machine if that's what your thinking." Reborn snapped as Xanxus lowered his two guns.
"What am I suppose to do then trash? HAH!?" he asked angrily.
"Just report the weather and we'll let you go on your way, but there was that incident with Levi and Mosca..."
"Not that I give a flying f**k."
"If that's the case, I'll just get the cradle project back and running." *2
"What the hell was the cradle incident?"
"Well seeing as you were frozen with zero point break through ice, I can see why you don't know the name."
"You mean to say that the gay ass name to describe my downfall 8 years ago in our present time was called the 'cradle incident?'" Xanxus looked pissed.
"Apparently so." Reborn answered.
"What the f**k is everyone's problem."
"Everything, now go and report the weather before the cradle incident would be known as the pacifier incident." Reborn snapped as Leon transformed into a giant mallet that the small baby could wave around with it being 100 tons...or more."
"Che, like I'll want to help the public with its trashy community." Xanxus scoffed.
"Just say the weather so we can get this over with." Reborn grumbled.
"Goodness I can't actually believe that I want Tsuna and the rest to come back as quickly as possible." he muttered under his breath.
"You say something trash?"
"Go read off a tree already, Xanxus." Reborn threw the stack of paper which landed on Xanxus' face.
"Che, sure trash, as long as it gets me out of this hell hole faster." Xanxus scoffed, "Today's f**king weather is partly made of Mosca and the Gaytard."
People started to gap.
"The temperature would be about 3 degrees or a whooping 10 degrees...Trade winds are going 51 miles per hour so your all screwed."
Reborn could have sworn he had seen a "please shoot me" face on Xanxus. Then again, the guy always looked like he was in pain.
"Next, all you trashes have is the bigger trash with the traffic."
~How did ALL OF YOU get the Job?~
"VOOOOOOIIIII!!!" the loud voice echoed throughout the entire building. People covered their ears, Reborn saw his cup of water fall to the floor, books flew everywhere and...well this was all because of our little shar- big loud mouth shark.
"You pieces of trash! What the hell do you think your doing!" Squalo yelled over the camera crew who dropped on equipment at the sudden shrill.
"Just get on with it Squalo," Reborn said hoping over to the Shark, all you Varia are the same. First there's your Lightning Guardian then theres-"
"We have a lightning guardian? Voooiii I thought he died!"
"No he did not die, that was the Mosca."
"VOOOIII!!!"
"Just say the traffic today."
"VOOOOII I WAS GETTING TO THAT!" the voice boomed and shook the building and the surrounding community.
Reborn took out his ear plugs and turned towards the TV screen behind them. "Looks like you destroyed half the highways. We'll have to take that out of your paycheck since Hibari won't be happy with the damages."
"VOOOI! You don't go taking money out of peoples paychecks."
"If I'm not mistaken you said that about 6 times."
"Voooi! Who's counting!?"
"7..."
"Screw it all then! Apparently there multiple accidents today so get your fat arses off the roads you imbeciles!"
A wine glass came in flying through the back and smashed on the strategy captains head.
"VOOOOIIII!!!"
"And apparently due to trade winds going at 51 miles per hour, road damage would be even greater."
"HA! Serves all you trash right!"
"I seriously wish Tsuna and everyone else would clear the trial soon." Reborn mumbled as he walked out of the room. At this rate, even he would start to snap a little. "Next is Lussuria."
~Freak ahahaha -pwned-~
"HELLO EVERYONE~ 3 HOW ARE ALL MY LITTLE SPARROWS~!?"
The crew backed away slowly.
"Today Lussuria here shall help you all little kitties~! So have I got something special for all of you~!"
The crew backed away even further.
"I am advertising a many things that came out the last couple of weeks which include the new Pokemon games Heart Gold Soul Silver and Final Fantasy...XIII? was it? Well then everyone, and you tweakers, those games have seriously taken over the world~"
Really?
"And I shall also advertise~"
"That's it times up!" the director yelled through the microphone.
"Huwhyyyyyyyyy~" Lussuria ran up to the director.
"The gayness is going to break the camera, we only made it extreme proof so...its cracking."
"Awwww..."
"Don't worry." she responded, "There's always a camera who can handle your...uniqueness."
"Okay!" he yelled and hugged the director.
"I'm gonna call security..."
"Oh, sorry nee? Anyways since this lovely young lady gave such a good reason to stop since they need to buy a new camera next is Bel-chan and Fran!"
~Just shoot me Already! GAWD!~
"Sempai, you have to control your temperament soon otherwise another camera may be fallen pray too..." Fran mumbled as he held up the teal camera with a knife lodged in the screen. "We have to make do with what we got I guess."
"Ushishi, silly froggy, who said anything about doing anything. I'd rather sit here not doing something for the peasants."
"We're still on air you know..."
"The prince doesn't care froggy, besides I thought you said the camera was broken." Bel sat cross-legged on the floor.
"I did say that Bel-sempai, but that doesn't mean the security camera's arent on."
.
..
...
"Shit..."
"Yup."
"So you mean to tell me the things that I did while we were waiting could be seen?" Bel asked.
"Yes, and that includes attempting to graffiti on the wall." Fran replied blankly.
"Well the prince can never get caught."
"But it was all on camera." Fran retorted.
"I destroyed the camera." Bel complied.
"Not the security ones baka-sempai." Fran pointed out glancing at the camera in the far corner of the room.
"The prince is not stupid froggy, it is you who is."
"Stop flattering yourself sempai. Its not like I want to be here either."
"What is even the point of this section of the news anyways. I guess its something only peasants will understand."
"I think its therapy for the insane." Fran paused, "And when I mean insane I mean creepy sempai's who think their royalty when they're actually frauds."
"The prince is not a fraud." Bel stated with a knife to Frans back. "Go back to the lily-pad frog."
"Gero, gero..." Fran mocked.
"Che, I shouldn't waste my time here, go drown yourself frog."
"Frogs can breath underwater as tadpoles, so cant they swim?"
"The prince doesn't care about biology, its such a anti-genius class."
"Says you, I bet you don't even know what biology is."
"I really feel the need to skewer you froggy. But since I'm in a good mood since this retarded s**t is almost over I'll let you go."
"What? The show is ending now?" Fran looked confusingly at his sempai.
That's when the knife whizzed to the camera.
Notes:
1) Chaos actually made its first appearance in the Acrobaleno Arc in teh anime, then appeared in the manga/anime later when Reborn was protecting Uni from pedo Byakuran -flower pwned-
2) In the Varia Arc Xanxus with the cradle incident was rather...interesting. Why they call it the cradle incident please do not ask me...I seriously don't know...
Always: Well everyone, how'd you like the late update? I officially caught up 2 weeks...next chapter would also be a double update! So please look forward to that.
Giotto: Uh, huh, but Always, don't you have the feeling that...well I don't know...This is WAY shorter then the other chapters?
Asari: You have to consider the fact that this is late and typed at the last minute since it was deleted earlier.
G.: What is with you and technology, its like the computer enjoys freezing on you.
Always: I don't know, but I can't help but think it has something to do with Enma-
Lanpo: SHHHHH!!! That was suppose to be this weeks update!
Always: Mmmphhhmmmummphhhh!!!
Alaude: I think I like her better like this.
Always: Huwhey!
Alaude: At least your not like-
Spades: lalalala~
Alaude: Yeah...
Maximum: Well then everyone, today is Good Friday so NO SCHOOL!
Always: Pwah! I've been meaning to ask you Maximum, whats so Good about Good Friday...I mean I don't want to be biased or mean but...didn't Jesus die a gruesome death. How could this be worth celebrating every year, we should be GRIEVING!
Spades: Please, if you think his death was gruesome, you haven't seen anything yet.
Everyone backs away slowly from Spades
Spades: What?
Asari: Well we better wrap things up
Lanpo: The Varia may have been OOC, but we hope you have enjoyed...rate and review please...or review...whichever works for you
Everyone: Ciao Ciao!