Hello everyone! My apologies are worthless when it comes to the lack of updates in between the last chapter and this one, but I do have actual reasons for not posting. I hope you all enjoy the new chapter (even though it's not on par with previous ones). The next chapter I am sure will be better. :) I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and are enjoying the new year.

As always, thank you to my beta, DollyBigMomma. She is wonderful and was so considerate when I was sick this past month. Check out her stories!

Also, keep your eyes open for a ExB story that I will soon be posting. I know what many of you will say "Oh no! You're doing an Edward story?" I assure you, the world is not ending, The story just kind of popped in my head and has been hammering away at my every waking moment. So, watch for new story alerts from me. Enjoy!

Chapter 13

I sat on the bed, the coffee and danish Jasper had bought perched precariously on my thighs and growing cold with each passing minute. Since he had been gone for about an hour I was pretty sure the coffee was bitterly cold and the danish had become soggy. I couldn't have cared less. Food held no temptation for me at this moment because it was all focused on the wall next to the bathroom where we had stood tangled together earlier.

I brought my fingers to my lips and closed my eyes. I could still feel his mouth pressing urgently to mine, the sparks that had gone off in my mind as his tongue devoured my mouth. I could still feel his hands rubbing down my body, skimming over my ribs and caressing the smooth skin of my stomach, igniting a fire within me that my mind had hinted at, but had never really known before. It had been the most erotic moment of my life and my mind had been playing it on instant replay ever since he had shut the door. I was lost to the lingering feel of his body pressed against mine.

I don't know why I had asked Jasper to come. I knew it was only going to cause me problems, loosen my resolve and hurt those who probably didn't deserve it, but I was selfish.

When I had left a few months ago, I was sure of what I was going to do. I was going to choose Edward. He deserved it. After everything he had sacrificed for me, he deserved to have the happiness he felt he could have with me. But being away from all of them, just being on my own, I had questioned my choices and my decisions.

When Rose and Emmett had visited, I had been so sure I would go back to Edward, but since then, my thoughts had wavered, especially after Rose and I had spent the day at that cafe…

"I want to tell you again how happy Em and I are that you invited us to come. He has really missed you," Rosalie said, her eyes looking down at the red and white checkered table cloth. "I've missed you a lot, too."

I smiled at her and touched her hand briefly from across the table. "I've missed you, too, especially your bitchy ways."

Her teeth flashed briefly with humor before turning into a frown. "Sometimes I don't feel like I deserve to have your friendship."

I furrowed my brow and then laughed, quite loudly. Her unique brand of sarcasm that came with her nearness caused my wicked juices to stir up again. "I don't know why you would possibly feel that way, Rose."

"Well, I don't think there's any denying that I've always been a total bitch towards you," she said with a grin across her perfect lips.

"I won't argue that, but that's just you. You were concerned for your family and I can understand that. I respect it as well," I replied, my mind wandering to all of our encounters before Edward had left. Truthfully I had always been more afraid of her than any of the rest of the others. She wasn't necessarily threatening, but the hostility she had showed towards me had bothered me.

"I could have made an effort, though," she said calmly while guilt filled her angelic features.

"You could have, but you're doing it now and that's what matters to me," I said truthfully. I wasn't one to hold a grudge on someone who wanted forgiveness. The time we had spent together had shown me that she was capable of really trying.

"Well, I just wanted you to know that I appreciate it, you know, on the whole forgiving me thing." Her hands were fiddling with the rim of her coffee cup and I could tell she wanted to move away from the topic and focus on more recent events. "So..."

"Just spit it out, Rose. We've only got so long before that man you call your husband gets back from those shops you sent him to." I hoped that my irritation didn't bleed through my words. I wasn't annoyed with her, only the situation and my response to it. I had never been more confused in my life, hence the running away.

"Are you coming back?" she questioned, her eyes burning into mine.

"Yes. How could I not?" I stated simply, hoping that would be all she wanted to know on the topic. To my dismay, she didn't drop it, not that I expected her to.

"Ok, well, tell me this. Who are you coming back to?" Her voice didn't even have a hint of condemnation as I would have expected it to.

I squared my shoulders and attempted to look like I was positive. "Edward, of course."

She laughed, a rather unladylike snort coming out of her nose. "Hmm…Edward, you say?" Her eyes searched mine, probing my hidden thoughts. "You are such a bad liar."

I let out a loud sigh and dropped my head down, missing my arms and accidentally hitting my forehead on the table.

"He's been miserable," she said quietly. I don't know how she knew, but I knew she wasn't talking about Edward. "He's wound so tight I can see it in the form of his muscles. He won't talk to Carlisle or Esme. He refuses to even be in the same room as Alice and he avoids Edward like he has a rare form of the plague that only affects empathic vampires."

I lifted my head up, but couldn't look at her. I focused my gaze on the full blooms around us and the traffic that inched along the road, anywhere but at her.

"He stays in the library or the garden. He just sits there for hours, staring at nothing. It's like he's not really there and I know..." She paused briefly before continuing, "There's only one reason a man does that, Bella. I don't read minds or see the future, but I know he's sitting there thinking of you. Every time his eyes search the room, he's looking for you. Each time his name is called, he's wishing it was your voice."

I looked at her, wanting her to stop talking because it was only increasing the guilt I was feeling.

"Call it woman's intuition," Rose said in response to the questioning look I'm sure was plastered on my face.

I groaned quite loudly, only because I had caught myself doing the same thing many times since I had been here. I would usually sit in my hotel room in the chaise by the window and think of Edward. It happened every time I sat down. Within minutes my mind would drift to Jasper. I could still feel the ghost of his lips over mine, could still hear the whisper of his hands as they slid down my back, could still feel the urgency in his hushed words as I left him at the airport.

"Does anyone else know?" I asked tentatively.

"We all know something to a degree," Rosalie said as she rubbed a finger over a perfectly arched eyebrow. "The problem with this family is that we have secrets. We all like to act like we don't, but we do. Everyone knows a little bit of something, and I know Jasper cares for you."

My heart fluttered even at the mention of his name.

"More importantly, I know you care for him just as much." She smiled at me; her eyes that were usually so hard were filled with compassion. "Woman's intuition," she reminded me quietly as she tapped her forehead and winked.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted weakly, my voice sounding odd to my ears because it sounded so small.

"You can't please everyone all the time, Bella. Sometimes you have to please yourself, too," she sighed heavily.

"I wish I could, but if I did..." My words trailed off as a barrage of images flashed through my mind and my chest constricted painfully. "If I did, I would destroy your family and I can't have that on my conscience. I can't have Edward's heartache on my hands. It would haunt me every day, no matter how happy I am."

"I know it's hard, but some things are meant to be and regardless of how you fight it, it will happen anyway." Her words were spoken softly but with strong resolve, as if she could ingrain the words in my mind.

I rubbed my hand across the back of my neck in an attempt to ease the tension out of my aching muscles. It didn't help and I knew I wouldn't release any of the emotion behind it until Jasper came back. When he was near me I was simply me. The rest of the world didn't exist. There was no pain, no need to fill the silence around us, there was only him and I.

The past few days he had been here had been sheer amazement. We had gone to the gardens at that place I couldn't even begin to pronounce without butchering the name. Jasper had made each moment alive and filled with joy with only his presence. It had been amazing, but with each tender touch of his hand and every brush of his lips on my skin, I was losing ground, wavering in my choices. For the first time in my life I really wanted to be selfish.

Aiding in that were his confessions of what this was doing to him. I was utterly drawn to his passionate whispers of my name; his strong convictions of what it would do to him were I to choose Edward. In my heart, I agreed with him. He said he wanted an eternity of me in his arms. He wanted his name to pass from my lips when I was lying in bed. I wanted it, too, desperately, but my head... my head didn't agree. My mind always argued for Edward.

I was startled out of my internal struggle with a knock at the door. I opened it to find an older man holding a rather large package in his hands. He looked at me with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, like he knew a secret and was bursting to tell it. I had seen him a few times while I came and went. He seemed to always be at the hotel and always had a greeting for me that lit up my moods.

"Sa belle ame," he said fondly.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly while my mind thought back to the translation books Esme had purchased for me. "I don't speak French."

The man, Louis, his name tag read, just shrugged his thin shoulders and smiled at me again. "It is of no importance, mademoiselle. You will figure it out soon enough, un jour vous lacherez et voyez enfin. This was delivered for you just a few minutes ago."

I reached out to take the large box from his hands and sat it on the bed. I dug into my bag and pulled out a few Euros to hand the man. He thanked me quickly and beamed at me before bowing his head politely and closing the door.

I walked over to the bed and slipped the lid off of the white box. I smiled as I took in the simple black dress and matching swing coat that was wrapped in tissue. There was also a pair of low kitten heels and a delicately beaded bag. I pulled the dress out and walked over to the full length mirror and held it up to my body. I smoothed the fabric against my body and delighted in the sensuous swish of the lightweight taffeta.

I pulled out a hanger for both the coat and dress and hung them up in the small wardrobe in the corner of the room. As the wood door shut I heard a light thud fall from the jacket. I leaned over and picked up the cream colored envelope that was addressed to me.

Opening it slowly, I sat down in the chaise almost afraid to read what it contained. Only one person would send me something like this and it was the someone I hated hurting more than anyone else: Alice.

I curled my feet up under my thighs and relaxed against the silky fabric of the chair before reading.

I ripped through the seal and pulled out the letter. Alice's handwriting was such a contrast to her personality. You would almost expect with her exuberance that her penmanship would be curly and large, very teenage girl like. I personally thought it would look a bit like a doctor's script, but to my surprise it was very neat. Her words flowed across the paper much like Edward's had; the loops and lines extremely precise.

I thought back to the conversation at the house before I had left. In some way she had betrayed me. She had lied to me in some form or another, I just wasn't sure why. Immediately, my remorse set in. I had only treated her in kind. I coveted her husband and wanted him to be mine. It was a universal rule among women, be they young or old; you never go after your friend's significant other. Ever.

I looked down at her writing and attempted to clear my mind as I processed her words. Accepting her apology was no problem for me, even though I was hurt by what she had done. I still loved Alice and probably always would, regardless of her actions. She hadn't explained the whole of it; that I was sure would come later. But this was enough.

I sat the letter down and looked at the clock. I had been sitting in that chair alone with my thoughts for three hours and now only had an hour to get ready before Jasper showed up.

~*~

I sat on the bed calmly waiting for Jasper to walk into the room. I had amazed myself with the speed in which I was able to get ready. My hair was styled with fat curls hanging around my shoulders like Rosalie had shown me. The makeup on my face was minimal, only a bit of concealer to cover the dark circles under my eyes, a few sweeps of mascara across my lashes, a tint of bronze across my lids and a brush of gloss across my lips. It wasn't much, but it was enough to make me feel better about the way I looked while knowing I would be standing next to Jasper.

His knock sounded lightly at the door before he stepped in. My heart leapt out of my chest as I saw him. His hardened body was covered in a black cashmere sweater and gray wool slacks that were pressed in precise lines. Over his arm was a matching jacket.

I took in the sight of him, committing the way he looked at that exact moment to memory. It was something I knew I would want to remember for the rest of my life, no matter how long that would be. I didn't bother looking at his body as my eyes were locked with his. Jasper's golden eyes were burning with every emotion I had ever known. I could see the darkness of his passion, the depth of his love, his strong resolve, his adoration, even his sadness and heartache. The way he felt, shining so brightly in his eyes was what I wanted to remember because I was sure that nothing could compare to him at this moment.

"I believe we have a date, mademoiselle," he said in that low, seductive voice he knew I craved.

"I believe you're correct, monsieur," I smiled brightly at him, leaving everything that was a distraction behind me.

Tonight was our night and I intended it to be one I would remember for eternity.

French Translations- Again, they may not be spot on since I used an English to French translator online. You know, one of the free one's.... so... if there are mistakes, I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to butcher the beauty of the French language.

Un jour vous lacherez et voyez enfin - One day you will let go and finally see.

sa belle ame - His beautiful soul

I promise that their actual date will be in the next one. Please read and review, especially review. Let me know of how you think the story is going.