Sorry for the delay. I was a bit....hmmm... confused on where to go. There were such mixed reviews that I had to go back and think things through again and with the family sick and a sprained ankle, it wasn't going so well. So, here you go and a MAJOR thanks to my beta, Catherine (dollybigmomma) for talking through things with me. You have the best opinions and I don't know what I would do without you! You rock! Also, there are banners up for almost all of my stories and I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, it is just one to work us up to Bella's new life.

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Chapter 15

"Do you know what's in this box, Bells?" I heard Charlie call from kitchen.

Thinking over the amount of boxes I had packed, I couldn't be sure. "What's it look like?" I called back, knowing the color of the tape would let me know which room it would go in.

"It's white with green tape."

"That goes in the living room," I said.

I looked around my new bedroom, living room, dining room combo and couldn't help the pride I felt in my chest. I had done so much growing up since I came back from France. After five years of college and living in crappy dorm rooms, I was finally on my own.

I walked to the window and amazed myself with the view. My apartment, well studio, was not out of this world, but it was in my price range and located conveniently in the heart of the Upper East Side. I picked my hand up and placed it to the window, my fingers stoking over the glass as my eyes took in the dusk that was descending over the city.

"I picked us up a pizza after I dropped the truck off. Are you hungry?" Charlie asked, sitting down at the light wood table I had purchased just last week from IKEA.

"Starved," I replied, my stomach finally making my hunger known with a loud rumble.

"I would say so," Charlie agreed, chuckling to himself happily.

"Well, we've been setting stuff up for the past eight hours," I shrugged and took a big bight out of the Alfredo pizza my dad had picked up.

Having built up several contacts while at Skidmore, I decided to make a go of it and move to the city. While living in Saratoga, I had attended college, but also worked at Confections, a trendy boutique. Ms. Lawson, my boss, had become my closest friend. It was her that persuaded me to try it out. This great studio was actually hers and she charged me practically no rent for it. Her late husband had purchased it before he died and it was left to her in the will. She agreed to rent it out to me under the conditions that I would start contacting her friends here and start up my business.

It was actually funny how I fell into it. After a few months at Dartmouth, I knew it wasn't for me, so I transferred to Skidmore and took up Classic and Education studies. It was at that time that I got my job at Confections and found my true passion, organization. I changed my major a year later and took the business course with a plan forming in my mind.

Rebecca, Ms. Lawson, encouraged me. She told her friends about my talents and I took on a few jobs, organizing a closet here and a kitchen there until word of mouth spread and I started taking on full projects. I loved it and when I graduated, I decided to go into business for myself.

"Well, I'm proud of you, kid," Charlie's words brought me out of my reverie. "You've worked hard, and now look at you," he said, starting to choke up. "You're out on your own, opening your own business. You're not my little girl anymore."

I rolled my eyes quickly at him before laughing. "I don't think I've really ever been a little girl, dad," I admitted with a smile. "I've been middle aged since I was five."

"You do have a point there, although, these past few years I've seen you grow into your own and finally act your age. It comforts me in my old age to know you're enjoying your life."

"You aren't old, dad, just a little... ancient."

"Yeah," he agreed before my words dawned on him. "Ancient?"

"Just kidding," I smirked when he winked at me. "When is your flight?"

Charlie had flown up to Albany to help me move. Secretly, I think the biggest reason he wanted to help was so he could drive a moving truck in the city. He did look pretty pleased as he weaved in and out of traffic. I guess the drivers training for the department in Forks came in handy.

"Tomorrow afternoon," he replied, taking a sip of his beer. "You know, Ben and Angela Cheney are living here now, too," he said nonchalantly.

"I did know that," I admitted. Charlie had mentioned it a few times over the years, but I always shrugged it off. I didn't really have any plans of seeing them or anyone else.

"Well, I talked to Angela's mother before I left...." he trailed off as his eyes wandered around my apartment.

"You didn't!" I exclaimed.

"I did," Charlie said proudly.

I had been trying for the past five years to forget my younger self. I didn't want to be associated with places from my youth and I definitely didn't want any reminders of my life as a teenager. It wasn't that I was ashamed of who I had been, but I had made mistakes and I certainly had my share of regrets, mainly the Cullens.

"I knew you wouldn't want to see them, but I think it's time you got around people who care about you."

"I am around people who care about me," I said bitterly, pursing my lips to the side. "There is you and Ms. Lawson. I don't need anyone else."

"Well, Rebecca and I think you do," he argued. "You've put everything and everyone behind you and I just don't understand why."

"Dad, I..." I started, but he interrupted me before I could give him my flimsy excuse.

"Ever since you came back from your trip after high school graduation, you've been different," Charlie said thoughtfully, finally setting aside his pizza and rubbing his shiny forehead. "What happened while you were away, Bella? Was it Edward? Are you still not over him?" he asked, trying to understand me better.

"It wasn't Edward."

My comment wasn't a complete lie, only a partial one, and it was my biggest regret. I had followed in Edward's footsteps. When he had left me, at least he had given me the courtesy of an excuse. He gave me a goodbye and I regretted, every day, that I didn't at least give that to Jasper.

It didn't dawn on me until a few months after I left him in Paris that I had done the same to him as Edward had pretty much done to me. I hated that I had been cruel and I hated my weakness. I had thought that with leaving, there would be less pain, but I now realized I had probably caused more pain than there would have been with me staying.

Yes, with my leaving I had learned a lot about myself over the past five years, but I didn't feel whole, and I knew the only way I would ever feel complete was to be with Jasper.

I knew I could call, make my apologies and move on, but I wasn't ready. I didn't have the courage it would take to fix what I had done and I suppose on some level I knew I didn't deserve forgiveness, especially Jasper and Edward's.

"Well, what was it?" Charlie pried, desperate to know what changed me so much.

"When I set out for my trip, I thought the best thing for me would be to get away, to be alone with my thoughts," I explained. "But, while I was gone, I realized I would never know who I was unless I started living my life."

"But why make such a drastic change?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing causing creases to form on his forehead.

"I guess I just wanted to find out who I could be away from everyone. I wanted to know who I could be without others thinking of me as your daughter or as the keeper of mom. I didn't want to be somewhere that others could ask me about Edward or the rest of the family," I motioned with my hands over my face, unsure if anything I was saying made sense. "I just wanted to be Bella."

I watched Charlie sit there for a while. His fingernails scraped the Michelob label off the beer bottle.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interfere with your life," he said after a few minutes, referring to the plans he had made for me to meet with Angela and Ben. "We arranged for you to have lunch with them the day after tomorrow."

Resigning myself to the date, even though it was against my better judgment, I quickly nodded at my dad. "Where and what time?"

"You won't regret this. I know Angela is very excited to see you," he beamed at me. "Plus, maybe Ben will know of some nice guys to set you up with," he hinted.

I rolled my eyes at his pathetic attempt at matchmaking and then laughed.

There had been a few dates I had gone on while in college, but it never worked out because I knew they weren't the one for me. Only Jasper could be that person. The guys I had meet had been nice enough and had helped relieve the boredom and made me finally feel like a normal person, but the realization always dawned on me that I wasn't normal and the only men I had ever taken a real fancy to were vampires.

"Yeah, I don't think so," I drawled, shaking my head slowly from side to side. "I can only imagine the kinds of guys Ben is friends with, and I'm sorry, dad, but I'm just not the kind of girl that likes martial arts movies."

"It might not be a bad thing. You haven't really made time in your life for relationships, maybe it's time," he suggested nicely as he picked up another slice.

"I don't think so, dad. Me and relationships, we kind of go as well as oil and water. We just don't mesh." I noticed him nod in agreement. Charlie hadn't exactly been a Casanova himself since he and my mother divorced. "Besides, I want to concentrate on building my business right now."

My father couldn't exactly argue with me on the topic of making a name for myself.

"Alright, kid, I'll leave off on that topic," he said, chucking me under the chin with his fist.

"So, are you staying here tonight or going back to the hotel?" I asked as I picked up the now empty pizza box and took it into the kitchen to dump it in the trash.

"The hotel, unless you want me to stay here with you for your first night?"

His gesture was sweet and it tugged at my heart. Charlie had never exactly been a father in the traditional ways, but I knew he loved me and this was just one of his ways of showing me.

"It's up to you, the couch is a pull out and the bed is ready."

Somehow, Rebecca had gotten lucky with the studio. There was a small loft accessible from stairs in the living room. It was small, but big enough to hold a queen sized bed. It was still considered a studio since the bedroom was technically in the living and dining room, but it afforded her a bit more privacy.

I followed Charlie's eyes as they first raked over the tiny couch and then to the small loft.

"I think maybe the hotel for tonight," he said sheepishly. I walked him to the door and helped him put his jacket on.

"I'm proud of you, kid," Charlie mumbled as he pulled me into a tight hug. "You've done well for yourself."

I smiled up at him and returned his embrace. "Thanks, Charlie, for everything."

"I'm your dad, that's what I'm here for."

"I know," I whispered softly. "I'm going to see you off to the airport tomorrow. Is that ok?"

My dad looked at me and chuckled, his brown eyes mirroring the same color as mine. "Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."

I shut the door softly behind him and walked through my apartment, my hands touching every surface they could.

It was something I had picked up along with my organizational obsession. I liked to feel different textures and know exactly what it was just by touch. My therapist, if I had one, would probably say that all of my quirks were due to my need to be in control.

I climbed up the steps, slowly, to the small loft and traded out my jeans and sweatshirt for flannel pants and a tank top. Feeling a wave of nostalgia that had been brought about by my father, I reached into the small nightstand drawer and pulled out a heavily wrinkled slip of paper.

Opening it gingerly, I took a deep breath before letting my eyes search the page before finding the spot I loved most, the only thing that had kept me sane these past five years; Alice's vision.

I fought back the tightness in my throat and the searing pain in my chest as I read, my heart hoping everyday for the past five years that her words had been true, that the vision hadn't changed too much, that there was still a possibility for Jasper and I.

My eyes closed as sleep overcame me and with it the dreams that I clung to.