An Imperial ship landed on the planet Utapau. Star destroyers loomed in the sky above, and thousands of shuttles touched down. The 501st legion spilled out and immediately began to take a defensive perimeter.

The ship's doors opened, and Darth Vader walked out, homing in on the planet's viceroy.

"Lord Vader, I apologize. We sent troops out as soon as we discovered the rebel base, but they had already fle – " He gasped as Vader held up a fist, and he slowly rose above the ground clutching at his throat.

"Apology accepted." Vader intoned. As the former viceroy of Utapau collapsed in a heap on the ground, he turned to the man next to him. "Several beings are headed this way. Beings of great power in the force. They will arrive in the ships of smugglers. They are to be taken alive. The smugglers are not. I trust you will not fail me… Viceroy Chasni." He swept away leaving the new viceroy shaking in his boots.

Darth Vader took out the force-gem his master had given him. He pressed on it lightly, and took in his surroundings. Immediately, he spun around and saw a figure in the rafters. He wore a brown cloak, hooded to conceal his face. He had something on his back, rapped in rags. Vader had easily dealtwith the ones on Coruscant; they stood out. But this one was smart enough to blend in. Interesting.

"Hello. I trust you are adjusting well to my universe?"

The figure leapt away through the rafters. "There is nowhere to run to!" Vader called out. "I can find you anywhere you go!"

He proceeded to walk down into the city, where the strongest force was eminating from.

Janet Pym peered around the side of the column at the clone troopers.

She flew shrunk and flew across to join the others. Storm was there, with Nightcrawler, Iceman and Colossus. Oh, and of course Deadpool. How they all got stuck here she didn't know, but she'd heard Professor Xavier's message and went to scout out the planet. She had seen him get carried off the planet by the rebels.

The only experience they'd ever had crossing over dimensions, was when a cosmic entity or some other such rubbish summoned them for a battle royale between each other. So, naturally they all made a promise note to shoot one another in the back. Nightcrawler made sure Deadpool had his fingers uncrossed.

Janet arrived back at the boiler room they'd secured. "Alright, the professor's gone. The rebels took him off the planet. He was unconscious."

"What about us?" Ororo asked.

"The rebels had to leave early because of the stormtroopers."

"Stormtroopers?" Deadpool perked up. "Yay! We get to beat on Stormtroopers!"

"They're all over the planet now. Somehow, they intercepted the professor's message and they came to destroy the rebel base. The rebels would've taken us with them, but there was no time for me to come back and get you. The troopers are already here."

"But that means when everybody else gets here, they'll be walking into a trap."

"Don't worry. They said they were sending a special ship over to smuggle us out. One of their special agents will find us and gather us together, and when the last of us arrive we'll be gone and they'll try to help us get home."

"Oooh oooh oooh!" Deadpool jumped up and down waving his arms in the air. "I have a question! I have a question!"

"What?"

"Try to help us get home? Try? I think we should just ditch these rebel losers and strike out on our own zany adventure."

"No. We need to stick together."

"I can guarantee that we will be splitting up in this storyline."

"What do you mean in this story –" Ororo stopped and shook her head. She had learned by now that Deadpool was obviously insane. "Never mind. Look, even if we do get split up, we need to try not to."

"Oh come on. I've waited practically my entire life to whack that whiney Skywalker kid."

Everybody just stared at him.

"Hey, do you think we'll get to meet Darth Vader? That'd be so cool!"

"Who's Darth Vader?" Iceman asked.

Deadpool stared at him. "Who's Darth Vader? What do you mean who's Darth Vader? Haven't you ever seen Star Wars?"

There was an awkward pause. "Oh." Deadpool suddenly gasped. "Oh no. Oh no no no no no! What? Why? No! Aaaarrgh!"

He banged his head against the rock wall. "Okay. Okay. You know what guys? Forget everything I've just said. I'm crazy." He went over into a corner and sulked.

"Okaaaaay." Jan turned to the rest of the group. "So, we should just, wait here for this agent to come and get us."

"Yes," Said a voice from the shadows. "Please do."

They all turned, as the figure emerged from the shadows. He was dressed in an entirely black suit of mechanical armor. It had a frightening, organic feel to it. The mask stared at them with large, black eyes, as the costume emitted a static-filled breathing noise. The costume seemed to carry the shadows with it, and they all felt a chill rush up their spines.

"Who are you?" Colossus called out.

"Dude seriously, what's up with that?" Deadpool cried out. "That's Darth Vader man! He got rated the number one T.V. super villain on some contest on Space channel! He chokes his henchmen because they don't believe in his religious cult! He tortures dashing roguish heroes over open hot wires for no apparent reason! None of this is getting through to you? Darth M************ Vader, Man!"

Colossus was dumbfounded. "So, he is the bad guy then?"

Deadpool slapped his face in irritation. "Yes! Yes he is the bad guy!"

"Good enough." And Colossus charged at him.

Darth Vader drew his lightsaber, and ducked to the side, slicing quickly at him.

"Aaaaarrrgh!" Colossus fell back, clutching his arm. When he lifted his hand away, the place where Vader struck was searing hot, and melted.

"Okay guys, watch out." Iceman said. "He has some sort of cosmic weapon."

"Hmmmm…" Vader mused. "You must come from a primitive society you consider a lightsaber a weapon of cosmic lethality. Then again… maybe you're wise to fear it." He swung his blade upwards, leaving a large scar in its wake from his side to his left eye. Colossus yelled in pain and quickly staggered away.

"Son of a –" Iceman covered himself in frost, and made an ice platform to slide across to Vader on. In the time it took him to do so, Vader picked him up with the force, shook him like a ragdoll, and flung him against the hard stone wall.

Storm flew into the air. "Do you have any idea what you are up against?" She yelled.

"Amateurs." He said, as he stretched out his hand. A storm of lightning gathered around her, and she fell out of the sky yelling.

Janet flew forward, firing short bursts. Vader deflected them with his lightsaber, then when she got close enough he batted her away with the back of his hand.

She grunted as she fell against the wall. "Are you going to help or not?" She called to Deadpool.

He got up wearily. "Might as well." He murmured. He hefted his bazooka onto his shoulder, and dropped it as he felt something tighten around his throat.

"Gack!" He called out as he rose from the ground.

"Submit to the will of the emperor or be destroyed." Darth Vader warned.

Suddenly, he felt a tremor of warning in the force. He turned just in time to see Colossus charging at him, screaming in rage.

With a thud, Colossus knocked Darth Vader to the ground.

"Hey!" He turned, and saw a man in brown robes with a hood over his face pick up Storm. "Come with me if you want to get out of here!" He called and started running. They all followed him through the corridors and up the flights of stairs.

Jan flew up beside him. "So you're our rebel agent then?"

"What do you think?" He asked.

Suddenly, they rounded a corner and twenty storm troopers pointed their guns at him.

"Stop where you are!" One of them called.

"Oh come on." Deadpool said, in the lead. "Everybody knows that storm troopers can't shoot worth a –" He cried and fell over as four precise shots hit his legs and seven hit his feet.

The man in the brown robe dropped Storm and took something wrapped in rags off of his back. The troopers shot at him, and he blocked their fire with it. The laser fire bounced off the object and the walls, hitting many of the troopers before they fell back.

The smoldering rags fell to the ground, revealing a star emblem with blue and white stripes around it.

"Cap!" Jan cried.

"Those aren't Storm troopers! They're Clone troopers!" Deadpool cried.

"Come on!" Captain America cried, and they ran at the retreating troopers. He threw his shield at them, and it ricocheted off of their chests like a pinball. Iceman picked up Storm and slid across the hallway freezing the rest of them.

"Oh come on." Deadpool whined. "I don't get to slaughter loyal members of the 501rst? This is a rip-off.

The sound of Vader's breathing was growing louder behind them. His footsteps were loud and heavy.

"Let's go!" Cap shouted.

They all started to run, but Colossus was tripped. Vader rounded the corner, arm in front of him as if he were holding something up. Captain America threw his shield at him and he quickly drew his lightsaber to block it. He hit at the shield like a baseball, and it flew into a column of stone, jamming itself in.

The force stopped holding Colossus and he got up. Cap whispered in his ear. "The Space Fox. On the second level. Hurry up." Colossus ran and Nightcrawler teleported them all away as Darth Vader advanced on Cap.

"You are a fool. You may be capable of more than an ordinary man, but your power is nothing to that of the force. You are not ready for this battle."

Cap gritted his teeth. "Maybe. But I've always been ready to give my life for what's right."

"So be it."

A wave of pressure slammed into Cap's chest and he flew into the wall. Darth Vader clenched his fist and Cap's arms and legs were pinned together. Vader walked up to him and removed his mask. "My master requires you alive. But I will not suffer insolence." He held his lightsaber to Cap's face.

Captain America retreated into himself, finding the place that had given him an extra boost when he was in trouble before. He breathed in, and then stretched, pushing himself against the walls that trapped him. He broke a fist free, and launched one of the most powerful uppercuts of his life at Darth Vader.

He staggered back and his grip on the Captain failed briefly. Cap launched himself at Vader, knocking the lightsaber out of his hands and pummeling the robotic face.

Vader blocked a punch or two, and then launched another force attack, pushing him off. He got to his feet wearily, and Cap came out of nowhere, pushing him off the side of the hall and into the pit that was the Utapau city. Cap breathed heavily, then calmed himself and picked up his shield.

A slight clattering noise caught his attention. He turned around, and saw Vader's lightsaber on the ground. It was vibrating as if there was an earthquake, but Cap couldn't feel the ground shake. It suddenly flew off the edge and Vader jumped up to catch it. He activated it and swung it down, almost catching the Captain off his guard. The captain barely blocked it with his shield, but then he was pinned again.

"I warned you." Vader said menacingly, advancing with the lightsaber.

"Mjollnir!" Came a cry from across the cavern.

Vader looked behind him. "What on the –"

A giant hammer rammed into him, pushing him through the solid rock wall and into the room on the other side. Cap felt the pressure relax, and he pushed himself off the wall and picked up his shield. Thor glided down and his hammer flew back into his hand.

"It's good to see you Thor." Cap said, clapping a hand on his back.

"Aye, well met old brother in arms." The god returned. "Me sees you have a problem with yon black-clad figure."

"Not anymore."

A large rock flew out of the hole and smashed into Thor's face. He staggered, then they both turned to see the figure crawl out of the hole. Most of his armor was torn off, but it was Vader. His respirator still inhaled and exhaled, and sparks flew out of where his right hand should be. One of the eyes on his masks had shattered, and out of it stared a bloodied eye.

"So, back for more?" Called Thor.

In response, he lighted his weapon.

Thor just chuckled. "Captain. The others must leave. Our ships are being attacked and they need to strategically retreat. Janet warned me of your predicament and I came to retrieve you, but since this fellow begs for punishment he shall receive it. Tell them they may leave without me, I shall catch up." He picked Cap up by his collar.

"Are you sure you can handle him Thor?"

"Aye lad, worry not. My powers may be quartered in this dimension, but even so they are mighty." He threw Cap across the chasm and three stories up.

Cap landed in the middle of a firefight. In the center of the chaos was Deadpool, Nightcrawler, Hawkeye, the Punisher, and an anthropomorphic rabbit with laser shooting flintlock pistols. Cap found this a bit odd, but he was willing to accept it.

"What took you Cap?" Hawkeye called.

"Thor said to leave without us!" Cap called throwing his shield at a nearby trooper. "He'll catch up!" He deftly caught his shield and they all ran aboard their ships. The Space Fox, the Rabbit's Foot, and the Wroshyr all took off, dodging the laser bolt off the incoming troopers.

Cap reached the helm of his ship where a Captain Kerrigan was at the controls. "Rabbit's Foot and Wroshyr, prepare to receive hyperspace coordinates." He called out.

A voice came over the commlink. "I was only doing a little raid on Corellia, and suddenly I'm charting around freaks for the rebels! Somebody tell me what's going on!"

Deadpool chuckled. "I love that blatant Bugs Bunny knock-off."

They blasted their way through swarms of TIE fighters and dodged the shots from the star-destroyers. All of the ship's pilots seemed to be fairly competent pilots.

"Prepare for hyperspace." Captain Kerrigan called over the comm.

"Wait!" Said Cap. "What about Thor?"

"He's not answering the radio." Storm said.

"Uh… I don't think he's coming guys." Deadpool said, pointing out the viewport.

Floating in space with his black cape billowing around him, was Darth Vader. His suit was badly torn, and his mechanical parts were showing. In his good hand, he held his lightsaber. Where his hand had been torn off, it had been replaced by a really big hammer. Lightning started to crackle around him, as he drifted closer to the fleeing ships.

Deadpool broke the silence in the cockpit. "Aaaaaaannnnd….. We're dead. So very, very, dead."

Vader was drifting faster now. He held his lightsaber in front of him, and leveled Mjollnir behind him prepared to swing it into the ship. His wake was marked by both blue, and yellow lightning which lit up his dark mask. The shadows which crept across the mask gave it a skull-like appearance, and everybody started hearing the echoes of his breathing apparatus in their minds.

"Captain! Go into hyperspace now!"

The captain and his co-pilot worked feverishly to start up the hyper drive. Ken made a few beeping noises. "No, forget planning it out!" The captain yelled back at him. "I'll risk ending up in a black hole to get away from this!"

"We're deeeaaaad!" Deadpool whispered as the monster came closer.

The Captain veered the ship away, and at the last second before Vader swung, the stars suddenly blurred and disappeared.

"Whew." The captain said. "We made it."

Captain America bowed his head. "Thor, if you're alive… I will find you. I promise."

He left the room grimmly.

"Yeeeaaah." Deadpool muttered. He leant into the Captain's ear. "Hey, you're a freelance pirate, or smuggler, right?"

The captain nodded.

"Alright, alright, good. Then you'll have secret holes in the wall to stash you're not so legal profits. Correct?" Again, the captain nodded.

"Do you mind if I stayed in one for a while?"

Deadpool examined the five by five room. He sat alone in the darkness for a while, checked his watch and waited. His watch didn't work, but it gave him a small sense of closer to check that it didn't every once in a while.

"Oh, you're here?" He asked to the empty space.

He stood up. "I know you're there. I asked about this place right after Captain America started grieving for Thor. That's when the comic relief traditionally breaks the ice before the next scene, and Iceman wasn't in the cockpit. I knew you'd be curious about what I was doing in here."

He tapped his foot, waiting for a reply from the empty darkness.

"I know you're there. I can hear you narrate. Yeah that's right. In case you forgot, I don't have a fourth wall. You and I need to talk guy."

… Okay, what is it?

"First of all, where are we?"

In an alternate –

"No. No. Don't you give me that. Don't you dare. I know we're in the star Wars universe. I meant are we in a book or something? I can tell this isn't a comic because I can't think in little yellow boxes."

… You're in a fan fiction.

He nodded. "As I suspected. Now, what's your name."

ClownWithAChainsaw.

"Huh. Well, now that we have introductions out of the way, tell me. WHY THE **** DOESN'T ANYBODY HERE REMEMBER STAR WARS!"

Wow, calm down Deadpool.

"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO BE CALM! I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE TO BUMP OFF LUKE SKYWALKER AND JAR-JAR BINKS! MY WHOLE LIFE! (Well, maybe not my whle life for Jar-Jar Binks, since he was invented later but you get the idea) AND NOW I CAN'T EVEN SHOW OFF TO MY FRIENDS! And to make matters worse, the end of this will probably be us being sent back home, with no damage done to either dimension correct?"

… Maybe.

"DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT!"

Okay, okay! Yes, that's the plan.

"I thought so. This means that I won't be able to kill anybody without them being resurrected, or force-healed, or cloned. Not only that, but if I did kill somebody, nobody back home would remember it."

Well… could you maybe not kill Luke Skywalker then?

"NO!"

Okay, okay, sorry.

Deadpool huffed and puffed for a while. "Why doesn't anybody know what Star Wars is anyway? I've heard everybody do Star Wars jokes back in the Marvel universe."

Well, it'd be pretty boring if everybody knew what was going to happen. I've fixed it so that nobody remembers Star Wars. If anybody at all even remembers George Lucas, it's because he did American Graffiti and then the Packman movie. His career sank and he committed suicide.

"The Packman movie? Why would that flop?"

In the right hands, maybe it wouldn't. But I'm going to say that even though you have no fourth wall, you still remember seeing this movie. There. Now you know how bad it was.

He thought for a while, as the memories suddenly appeared.

"Wow." He said. "Did Jar-Jar Binks write the script while he was on acid?"

Maybe. I've only just made it up, I don't even know what it's like.

"Well, you're missing out on one trippy movie. How does Mrs. Packman manage to drive a tank without any hands?"

… I am so jealous right now.

"Hey, you made it up. Now you have to suffer not having seen it. Just like I have to suffer being the only one here who remembers Star Wars!"

Not my fault! If you had a fourth wall, this wouldn't happen.

"Listen. I will not tolerate this! If you want a piece of me, call my agent, or write a self-insert fanfiction where I kill you up good. Do not stick me in here with magical-hammer-style Darth Vader, and Jaxxon!"

… How did you know his name?

"err… who?"

The anthropomorphic rabbit. How. Did. You. Know. His. Name?

"Uuuuuuhhh…"

Oh no. Oh wow. You're a Star Wars geek aren't you?

"Don't call me that!"

How would you like Wolverine knowing about this? Or maybe Cable?

"Don't even joke!"

Do you edit Wookiepeida pages?

"Do you? How did you know Jaxxon's name? Huh?"

Well it's okay if I'm a fan! I'm writing fanfiction! But you're a hardened mercenary!

He tapped his foot. "We are going to establish some ground rules."

Hah. I'm nigh omnipotent! I hold dirt on you! Why exactly should I offer ground rules?

"Because, I am as you said, a Star Wars fan. I know it inside and out. I will tell everybody what is going to happen before it happens. If you do it immediately afterwards, they'll know. They'll be prepared. If you don't you'll be breaking Star Wars traditions. Also, you aren't really funny. I can tell because you focus mostly on the fight scenes. If you force me to be funny, I'll only be as funny as you, and not as funny as me. And any merc-with-the-mouth fans out there will be mad at you."

… You're bluffing.

"Try me."

… All right. But I get to set as many rules as you do.

"Fine. Rule number one: You do not tell anybody I am a Star Wars fan once we're out of this dimension. Or tell them I'm a fan and then not erase their memories when we go home."

Done. Rule two: You do not predict what will happen. The most you can say is 'I have a bad feeling about this.' Or a joke that goes well when you consider the timing.

"Agreed. Rule three: I will point out every mistake you make in the plot."

But you only know as much as I know, and I don't intend to make mistakes.

"Ah, but the Star Wars fans out there will catch what you miss. They will review. And I will point it out."

…

"Say done."

…

"Say it."

All right fine. Done. Rule four: I get to edit out your swearing.

"What? Hey you're already doing that!"

Right. And I will keep doing it and you aren't about to make up a new rule that means I don't edit it out. This fanfiction is rated T and it will stay that way.

"…"

Say done.

"I really ******* loathe you."

The feeling is mutual at the moment.

"Done."

Is that all?

"Rule five: I score the hottest babe in the story."

What!?

"That's rule five. And she has to come onto me. I'm not going to fool around chasing damsels."

… Fine. Hey yeah! Okay fine. Heh heh heh.

"Wait what? What's so funny?"

You do realize, beauty is in the eye of the beholder?

"Hey! No! Do not pair me up with some fat lady and say she's beautiful on the inside! Don't you dare! Or Mon Mothma! Dude, if you make Mon Mothma fall in love with me I swear…"

Oh relax. I'm not going to go that far. But you should be careful what you wish for. Real careful.

"Hey, you know, I did ask for the hottest babe. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but nowadays scientists are starting to track down what makes babes hot."

Whatever. I just made up rule six. Would you like to hear it? Rule six is, you get beaten up by Ewoks.

"… Cold man. Real cold."

Ewoks had to come into it somewhere. If it's any consolation, I would have let them beat you anyways for the humor of it.

"Cute. Rule Seven, is that everybody forgets everything when we go back home."

Agreed. I was going to do that anyways. Rule eight is no more breaking the fourth wall.

"Fine. I never had a fourth wall to begin with."

You know what I mean.

"Yeah, yeah. But if you break the rules, I'm breaking that wall hard."

Fair enough.

"Rule nine is no breaking canon."

Seriously?

"You aren't going to break canon in the Marvel universe. You will keep the Star Wars universe unchanged. Remember, I am a Star Wars fan with a lot of ammo and a key plot element."

Alright. Done. Rule ten, you will not kill anybody who has a name.

"But everybody has a name in the Star Wars universe! That's what it's famous for, making up names for even the most minor characters!"

Yeah, alright. What I mean is, you can kill faceless troopers or random people you see on the streets just so long as I haven't made up names for them yet.

"But what about when we're fighting?"

When you're fighting, you can try as hard as you can to kill them, just so long as you turn your back once they're dead so their hand can shoot out of the rubble in a dramatic fashion.

Deadpool thought for a while. Then he grinned under his mask. "ClownWithAChainsaw? We have an accord!"

He opened the door and was about to leave the apartment, when he turned around. "And just so you know, I really do not like clowns. I'll have my eye on you. And so will the other character that can periodically break her fourth wall."

What? Who?

"She-Hulk has broken it from time to time."

…

"Wait, you did remember to put She-hulk in your plans didn't you?"

Oh, Yeah yeah. She-hulk's in here.

"You didn't forget? You didn't just add her to the story once I mentioned her?"

No, nope. She was part of my plans all along.

Deadpool glared at the darkness, and then left.

In a lonely swamp in the Degobah system, a crooked old hermit filled two bowls with a steaming soup.

"Prophesied, your coming was. Why I chose exile in this mud hole, it is. Save the galaxy, you must."

He sat cross-legged looking at the two shocked beings sitting across from him. He let out a muffled giggle.