Title: A Time to Grow
Author: Megan Faye
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones.
Parker stared into the mirror at school. He slicked his hair back like his father that morning, but it didn't look right. Brennan had frowned at it, and recombed it. 'If you would like to imitate your dad, imitate his honor, his kindness, his humor, and his ego. Not his hair.' Brennan understood him more than his mom or dad did. It was his first week of the camp he was attending that month. Last month, he did baseball one week, soccer another, guitar for one week, and then he and Temperance went to Hawaii for a little sun, before she could find out for certain if she was pregnant. This week was at his school, taught by Max Keenan. It was a really intense science camp, at the new school he would attend this year. Temperance insisted he go to a private school, where his academics would not fall second to sports. She put him in all these camps with his friends to make up for transferring him, letting him choose each one he wanted. She said it was to, as his father said, kill time.
Today was the day. He stared in the mirror at the 11-year-old boy who had sent his father into war, only to have him killed. The only thing they had left of his dad was two scraps of metal that were his dog tags. Brennan tried to help him, as did Dr. Sweets, but he blamed himself. Now he may become a brother. His Uncle Jared was always looked after by Seeley.
Parker knew that he would have to teach this baby about being a Booth, and Temperance could teach this baby how to be a 'Squint.'
"Are you feeling ill, Booth?" an older kid in his science camp asked. The whole group was made up of Junior Squints. Parker had quickly become 'the popular kid,' because he was bigger, stronger, and just as smart as the other kids.
"I miss my dad."
"Divorce?"
"He died in Iraq over the summer. I sent him there. Now, my...Dr. Brennan might be pregnant. I have to be there for this kid, since I'm the reason he or she has no father."
"It is not logical to blame yourself for the actions of others. You didn't force him, and you didn't force someone to kill him. What you did was support a choice he wanted to make, and for that, he was more than likely, grateful. Dr. Temperance Brennan of the Jeffersonian?" Parker nodded. "Incredible! Her work is completely fascinating. I see someone in a Jeffersonian lab coat pick you up. Is she your mom?" Parker shook his head.
"Temperance and my dad were partners before my Dad left the FBI to go back into the Army. My mom was in a car wreck just before my dad died. Temperance is my foster mom, since my dad was her best friend." The boy nodded.
"And the baby?"
"Long story short, she and my dad were friends, and he made a biological donation, because she wanted to have a baby, a few years ago. They changed their minds, and he got sick. He said if he dies, have his child. He died, so she's having his child. Maybe." Parker ran his hands through his hair and exhaled sharply. The older boy nodded. "This is weird, isn't it?"
"Somewhat. However, we are, as you call us, 'Squints.' We're all weird. Most kids go to soccer camp. We're in class, by choice. I'm Chase, by the way. Harrison Chase." Parker shook his hand and smiled. "We should head back, I had Mr. Keenan last year. He's not very forgiving of tardiness."
"What was I thinking, Angela? I am having a baby, with a deceased person, while raising said person's child," Brennan said in a quick rush of words.
"It will be okay, Sweetie."
"How can you say that? How can I properly care for Parker and focus on an infant? How can I properly care for an infant and work, AND be there emotionally for teenager who's lost both parents? I was insane. Zach and I could share a room." She paced, tears flowing freely, hands gesturing wildly. Angela grabbed her hands.
"Parker is going to be here in less than half an hour. Pull it together, and be his mother. Got it?" Brennan nodded, mute with surprise. "That is a little you and Booth in there. Parker will be excited. Insanely excited. You will be, too, for him, for this baby, and for Booth." Another nod. "You are all those two have. You are Parker's mother now. Be his mother."
"Let go of my hands."
"Why?"
"I have to throw up."
Dr. Sweets was expecting Brennan and Parker at 5, to check in on them and make sure everything is getting easier for Parker. He was a good kid, and Brennan loved him. It had been a very hard summer, but he was making progress. He still blamed himself for his father's death, but not to the degree he had at first. The door opened and closed, and the boy sat down on the sofa.
"Good afternoon."
"Hi Dr. Sweets," Parker said, smiling to himself. "Temperance is in the waiting room. I wanted to talk to you alone today." Sweets nodded.
"Is there something in particular?"
"Temperance is pregnant." Sweets nearly swallowed his tongue. "It was with my dad's...biological donation. Temperance talked to me about it. She really wanted to, but left it up to me."
"How -um- how do you feel about that?" Parker thought for a minute.
"Just between us?" Sweets nodded. "Like I was able to give her back her best friend a little bit." Sweets frowned. "I wanted her to have the baby because I wanted a little brother or sister. She wanted to have a baby so she could pass down her genetics. We decided this because it would be part of her and part of my dad. Those are two great people, Dr. Sweets. I can't explain why, but I know this kid will be the best-loved kid in the world. I'm going to teach the baby about Dad. Temperance will teach the baby about Squints. It doesn't matter if the baby is a Bones-clone, or a Mini-Me of my dad. It really doesn't matter. Its a perfect little person that my dad gave us since he couldn't be here."
"Wow."
"I don't understand something, though."
"What is that, Parker?"
"She wants this, she was happy about it, but she looks so sad." Sweets made notes of what Parker said. "She cries at night. A lot. I do, too, but not like Temperance."
"Well, she was in-love with your dad."
"No, she said they were-"
"Just partners." Parker nodded. "Just because they pretended the love did not exist, does not mean it did not exist."
"Like I pretend my dad is just on duty in Iraq, and will come back in a year, doesn't make it real?" Sweets nodded. "I miss him. We didn't get a funeral, or a place to visit like with mom."
"It helped you deal with the loss of your mother, having a funeral, didn't it." Parker nodded. "Perhaps its time for a proper memorial service for your dad."
"No. I can't do it again. I went to one of his funerals before," Brennan choked out. "I refuse to do it again."
"You rationalized his 'loss' before."
"There was supposedly a body, a casket, and something to bury. This time, it would be just a box of memories." Parker was silent, staring at her. She, personally, blamed the hormones of early pregnancy for the tears. "I may have been able to appear okay last time, but I can not go through it again, Sweets."
"When did my dad have a funeral?" Parker asked in a small voice.
"He was shot several years ago, and the FBI faked his death to catch someone. Sweets never informed me that your dad wasn't dead. In the middle of the funeral, he jumped out, and caught the fugitive who was there to see for himself that Booth was dead."
"You must have had a heart-attack," Parker said, eyes wide.
"I punched him."
"You did!"
"In the jaw, hard. I cracked three of his teeth." Parker smiled. He liked the tough side of Brennan. He never saw her actually fight, but his dad once told him that he, Seeley Booth, knew better than to pick a fight with Temperance Brennan. "Parker, when your dad was shot, protecting me, it hurt me terribly. I thought I had taken away your father, and your best friend. I was plagued with guilt, and riddled with sadness. I couldn't even tell Sweets how much I was hurting." Parker wiped tears from his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said, roughly.
"We were okay, after I punched him-"
"I'm sorry I took away your best friend, Temperance," he sobbed. Before Dr. Sweets could open his mouth, Brennan had Parker in her arms, in a motherly-manner that Sweets hadn't ever seen.
"You did not take away my best friend, Parker. Booth went to Iraq by choice, and was killed. That is what happens in a war. There is nothing you could have done."
"But if I asked him not to go-"
"He could have been killed here just as easily. He could have been in a car accident, like your mom and step-dad, or shot on duty. We get bomb threats at work. Dr. Hodgins likes to blow things up in the lab, and might have accidentally killed your dad. It was just how and when he died. It isn't your fault, and I do not blame you. I don't even blame the person who shot him." Now Sweets opened his mouth to object, but Brennan put his hand up. "They are fighting for what they believe, just as we are. It is reasonable that you should be angry, but not at yourself. Be angry at the situation that you are in; your parents are gone, and you miss them. Don't be angry at yourself, or at them." She felt a nod against her shoulder as the boy cried.
"I'm angry because I want my dad to hug me, and he can't." Brennan nodded and squeezed him tighter to her chest. "I'm angry because my mom ran a red light and got herself, my step dad and two other people killed." He paused and pushed back. "I'm angry that I don't have my family anymore."
"Can we make a new family?" Brennan asked. "You, me, this baby, and the team at the lab? Because, they love you. They love you so much, Parker. Angela thinks you are the most wonderful kid in the world. Hodgins and Cam adore you. And Sweets...he-"
"I think you're pretty terrific," Sweets filled in.
"What about you?" he asked in a small voice.
"I love you," Brennan whispered. "I love you as much as I possibly am capable of. You and this baby have become the center of my world. You are as much my child as this one," she said, putting her hand over her belly. "You so much more than the child that I am legal guardian to, Parker. I love you." Parker hugged her again.
"Love you, too, Temperance."
"Do you need this funeral, Parker?" Parker nodded.
"I want to say goodbye to my dad."
"Perhaps a party in his honor, instead of a funeral. We could each bring something that reminds us of Agent Booth, and say our goodbyes. Perhaps we can each write him a letter and keep it in a memory box." Parker nodded. That sounded better than a funeral to him.
Brennan set the wooden box on her shelf in the living room, where she and Parker could read the letters any time they needed to. She had the name Seeley Booth carved onto the top, and it was stained and finished to a sleek green. The party brought a lot of laughs, and a few tears. When Parker read his letter to his dad, no one had dry eyes. Brennan surprised everyone with hers. She read out loud that she should have told him that she was in-love with him. They missed their moment, and for that she was sorry. Parker and Brennan wrote one letter together from the baby to Booth, saying that they wished they could meet, and that this baby knew how wonderful his or her father was.
Cam and Angela helped clean up, and Sweets talked to Parker for a while after the party ended. He was very upset, but it was just a part of the grieving process.
"He's asleep," Sweets said, leaving Parker's room.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"This was good, for everyone. Moving on will be hard, but now it will be less so. Saying goodbye helps. It helped you find closure when you buried your mother." She nodded. "I'm sorry for your loss, Temperance."
"Thank you." Sweets put a hand on her arm and squeezed lightly.
"See you next week."
"Sweets?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think I'll be able to open up and fall in-love again?" Lance Sweets smiled sadly and shook his head.
"Not like this. If you want me to be honest, no. You loved Agent Booth so much, that you are raising his children. No one will meet the standard you've set for a partner, best friend, love, or father for you children. No one. You may find someone and settle, but it won't be the flame you had for Booth. He was your life love."
"Thank you for not lying to me about that. It helps."
"You should get some rest." Brennan nodded and showed Dr. Sweets out.
More to come, and very soon.