I got up in a good mood, feeling motivated thanks to my revelation. I dressed and with a smile on my face. I pulled a black t-shirt over my head, and slipped into a grey zippy with my beige skirt and some low cut black converse.

I felt motivated to tell Lucas how I felt about him. I was going to put my heart on the line. I was going to let Lucas love me, and return that feeling. My curls seemed to have more bounce in them after my shower as well. It was only 7:15am by the time I had finished getting ready.

I walked out to my car and slipped into the driver's seat, pushing a CD into the player. Dashboard Confessional played loudly from the stereo; a small smile invaded my face. I turned the key in the ignition and felt good, really good, and about myself. As the wind was blowing through my hair I felt so alive. As the dial on the speedometer increased I started feeling nervous. The closer I got to Tree Hill High the worse I got; could I really tell Lucas and expect him to feel the same? After last night, what I had done to him, I wouldn't be surprised if he went back to hating me.

I pulled up outside school, and pulled the keys from the ignition, shoving them into my bag after locking the car up. I took a breath. Was I meant to be this nervous? I leant back against my car; I could feel the sun heating my face. It felt nice to come out with some hope of happiness. I saw Lucas, with his head down, head phones in either ear. He wouldn't hear me if I called his name. My stomach did summersaults with nervousness as I watched him walking along with his head down, he looked so upset, I was such a horrible person. How could I push him away when I loved him, I loved him unconditionally and I planned to tell him, just not today. I shoved my hands in the pockets on my skirt after pulling my bag securely on my shoulder.

The whole day seemed to drag, mostly because I was avoiding Lucas. Although next period was even worse, I had to put up with Brooke being a total bitch and probably kicking me off the squad. However I thought I'd brave it, if worst came to worst, I could take her. Brooke was my best friend, even when we were arguing, but she just made me so mad that she thought she could have whatever she wanted, no matter what the cost. I hope this time she had learned, that with every action, comes a consequence, I just hope she wasn't willing to lose our friendship over it.

I pulled on my outfit in the changing rooms; I was a little late to practice as I'd seen Lucas and needed to wait until it was clear to dash across the hallway. I shook my hips to get my skirt to come up my legs with ease. I zipped up the side and pulled my top over my head. I kind of felt nervous about going to practice when this was the cheeriest I'd been since joining the squad. I sighed, picking up mu pompoms and strode into the gym. The squad were facing away from me, Brooke at the front telling them what to do, when I walked through the double doors.

"Hey." She called, oddly, smiling. I smiled; maybe she wasn't as petty as she used to be. I walked toward her.

"Hey Brooke," I replied. "Look, about the other night…" I started.

"Peyton, its fine. I was drunk; I'm the one who should be apologising. I have no interest in him I was just… well actually, I don't know. But I am sorry." She smiled and placed her hand on my shoulder. I took it in my own and gave it a little squeeze, thankful that she didn't say Luke's name in front of the squad.

We were getting into the cheer for tonight's away game when the squad came in, including Lucas. I dropped my head; this was going to be so awkward. I still hadn't been able to think straight after realising that I loved him. Brooke did a high kick in front of my face to catch my attention. I smiled.

"No need for that Brooke." We continued with the cheer while the team were warming up. Coach Durham thought that it would be a good idea that, while the Ravens were playing a practice that we should practice. Although I don't know why Brooke listened to him, he wasn't our coach, but we respected him all the same.

"Ready girls?" She asked standing in front of us. I nodded, although I was far from it. I desperately wanted to just faint, or for the floor to swallow me whole, anything but this torture.

We started our cheer, which involved high kicks; splits and jumping on top of each other, obviously that was co-ordinated from last years cheer battle, but it was enough for the team to pay more attention to us, than each other. I had two unwanted pairs of eyes on me, both the Scott brothers. I caught Lucas' eye, they were wide with surprise mostly, but mostly pain. He turned his head and walked out the gym, with me being the only one that noticed, while the rest of the team continued to gawk at us. Coach Durham walked a few seconds after Lucas' departure and shouted a few obscenities at the team before they started practicing. Brooke burst out laughing, apparently none the wiser to Lucas' pain than anyone else.

After practice, without talking to anyone other than Brooke a little which was still awkward I decided to talk to Hayley, Lucas' best friend. I changed into my skirt and t-shirt, leaving my zippy flung over my bag when I walked from the changing rooms. Seeing as it was lunch, I figured Hayley would be in the tutor centre, hopefully without Lucas. As I approached the door, I could hear Lucas saying his goodbyes to Hayley so I hid round the corner, doing the only thing I could think of in the 10 seconds I was given to compromise. I lifted a book right in front of my face, hoping that Lucas wouldn't notice me. I heard the door shut and footsteps coming toward the corner I was stood at, when they carried on I sighed, until I heard:

"Hey Peyton," slip effortlessly from his lips, as he obviously didn't care for a response as he kept walking I slipped into the tutor centre. I stood at the door, awkwardly for a few minutes until Hayley looked up from her book.

"Hey," she smiled, "What's up?" I edged forward, I felt so awkward around her. I knew Lucas told her everything so there was no doubt she knew about what had happened the other night between us. I shuddered at the thought, not because I regretting it, but because it may have been the last time his lips ever touched mine.

"I was wondering if I could ask you some advice, about Lucas." That name made my whole body tingle.

"Sure, ask away Peyton," She said with a genuine smile on her face. Not the kind I grown accustom to with the sort of people I knew, who plastered fake smiles on everyday just so they didn't look weak, I guess you could say I was one of them.

I ended up missing the rest of my lessons talking to Hayley; she shut the tutor centre so we didn't get interrupted. I spilt my heart out to her and she sat, and listened, she hugged me when I cried, backed away when I got angry, I never thought I'd been saying this, but Hayley James was someone I could truly trust. Her advice was to talk to Lucas, as she advised that he needed to be told that I loved him. She gave me all sorts of advice about Lucas that without would have probably ruined any chance I had with him. For example, not to wait to tell him how I felt for too long, as although Lucas wasn't dumb, he wouldn't realise that I was scared, as he saw me as being strong and knowing what I wanted. He didn't think I wanted him, which broke my heart.

We were on the coach for the away game; I had gone home, shoved some spare clothes in my bag and drove to school. Brooke came and sat next to me, pulling my headphone out my ear.

"P Sawyer, I don't like not talking to you, you know?" she asked tilting her head slightly to the side. I missed her.

"I know, me either Brooke. I miss you." I hugged her; I forgot how much I relied on her. She truly understood me, and until speaking to Hayley, I thought she was the only one. She snuggled against me and put my spare headphone in her ear pretending to like what I was listening to. Brooke had always put herself on the line for me, she would take the fall if I'd done something wrong, once I'd punched someone for picking on Brooke, we'd been caught but it was unclear who'd hit her, of course Brooke and I knew it was me, but Brooke said it was her. I rested my head on hers, which was rested on my shoulder the whole journey. As we pulled up to Duke I started feeling nervous.

We unloaded all our stuff off the coach, as the players' bus pulled in behind us we could hear them getting psyched, ready for the game ahead of us. I could hear Nathan cheering, these games always got him excited, he used to tell me that he got a vibe from the crowds of Raven's fans that come to support them and then when they win, especially away that it makes him feel like he was flying.

Brooke warned us all to meet in the practice gym as soon as we found our rooms. Some reason Whitey had made booked us all hotels, I mean the drive was quite long, and we didn't have school tomorrow, so I guess there was no harm in doing it, but I just didn't see the need. Plus I didn't want to spend the night in a hotel with Lucas just down the corridor; luckily Hayley was coming, so hopefully she'd told him how I felt about him. I walked up the gravelled pathway into the gym area, it wasn't much bigger than Tree Hill's but it was so much more unwelcoming.

"Feels threatening doesn't it?" I heard him ask from behind me. "The gym I mean." He smiled as I spun surprised by his voice.

"Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing." I admitted. I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. He looked into my eyes, then his eyes ran all over my body, just like they used to, although it usedto make me feel excited, not scared.

"You know how I used to tell you it was the build up of the crowds, and the game that used to get me going?" he asked as we crossed the gym together. I nodded looking at him, for some reason he didn't seem his usual self, softer, calmer somehow.

"It wasn't," he said matter-of-factly. "it was the thought of seeing you afterwards."

"Nathan, don't. Not now." I sighed. "I'm tired of all your games okay?" I asked my voice not sounding harsh but whinier. I just shrugged it off.

"I know Peyton, I'm sorry, really." He half smiled, looking down at me. "I just thought that maybe we could be friends, at least." He flashed me that all-famous grin.

"With a smile like that," I half laughed, "how can I resist?" I joked. "Of course we can." He slung his arm across my shoulder as we walked through the school to find the changing rooms and practice gyms. Duke was huge, which was an understatement.

We reached the practice gym, and already dressed to go, we walked through the doors, and Nathan's arm still around me, caused a look of pain to shoot across Lucas' face, and a smile on Brooke's. I threw his arm off me and almost stomped across to Brooke and the squad. I shot a look back at Lucas who was more intent on watching the floor.

I think it was best for him if I just stayed away from him. Everything I did was causing him pain. After practice we departed to the changing rooms, I stayed in there a while, a chance to collect my thoughts. I was sat on a bench when I heard the changing room door shut, my head shot up to see Lucas stood there, his eyes were barely open as he looked at me, but I could tell, this was a look of pure hate.

"Why did you do it Peyton?" he asked, almost unintelligibly. "Do you enjoy seeing me get hurt?" he almost spat. I stood up and walked over to him, but he backed away.
"Lucas, I swear to you, that was not what it looked like," I pleaded, easily hearing the desperate tone in my voice.

"Really?" he shouted. "Then what was it Peyton! Huh?" he continued shouting at me; while I let the tears freely roll down my face. His face softened a bit.

"Lucas, I've been trying to tell you how I feel all day!" I shouted back feeling the anger rising inside of me.

"Then why haven't you Peyton? Didn't want to hurt my feelings?!" he continued shouting. Just when I thought this was going to be easy. "If you wanted to get back together with Nathan you could have told me, you didn't have to prove it by showing me!"

"Lucas…" I started but the tears and pain stopped me from speaking. I heard the door bang open again and someone shout my name.

"Peyton?" they shouted again, my eyes filled with so many tears I couldn't see, there was so much pain going through my body I think my heart must have broke and stopped serving it's purpose, to keep me conscious. Nathan came in and saw us, he shoved Lucas, who was just watching me struggle to breath, out the way, and caught me just as I fell.