Chapter XII – Live For The Future.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
Boy, that sound was annoying. Yet she kept doing it until the bed panel would look worst then her hair in the morning. Which was really worst for that matter. But heck if she cared; it wasn't her furniture anyway. And even if it was, she would have probably destroyed it the very same way, stabbing the poor piece of wood numerous times with the pocket knife with the skulled handle. Which, pretty ironical, was her last link with the past life she had until two days ago. Well, it wasn't as ironic as it sounded after all; it was more like frustrating and annoying. Two emotions which Nicole learned to bear, but she still did not accepted any of them. The teen threw the knife again into the wood with the same sound, grabbed its handle and forced it out. Before repeating obsessively the actions.
On the floor of her room, lay three FedEx-like boxes, each with a small notice glued onto it. One had written 'things you will need' on it, the other had 'things you don't need' written and the last one was scribbled really messy 'Things I don't need, so im sending them to you." How nice of her father to send her back all the shit she tried to remember. Well, it was just another pathetic try of his to make something useful for his daughter. But he failed. Until now, nothing new. HE just cleaned after her in the apartment and decided that it might have been a good idea to not throw away her things, but sent them to her. Too bad she tried to put them all behind her and at least try to start a new chapter of her life. Cornelius done nothing good but place an extra burden on her already tired and weakened shoulders. She did not wanted to unwrap those boxes and see again that stuff. But she wasn't able to throw her whole life away as if it was garbage. It was a lot nicer to think that maybe, just maybe it was kept safe in some place which she used to call home. Well, at least that was what she planned on to believe in, even if knowing her father, he would have thrown it all away like trash. Still, she would have came back years later and she wouldn't be affected if she saw it all thrown away. Why? Because she would be an adult and stuff, a new chapter of her life and blah blah blah….
But NO. He just HAD to sent it all BACK!
Nicole felt like yelling out of frustration and anger and well...hate. She really came to think that maybe she really was an orphan, even if her father wasn't dead.
The girl sent another glance towards the boxes. The wind came in softly in her room and made the paper wave lightly, indicating how careless he was when he glued them on into the boxes. It was oblivious he was in a hurry, or maybe he hired someone to do it for him. But the writing was nonetheless his own. Those messy characters and the lack of space between them; it was all characteristic to Cornelius. IT was almost as if those dammed boxes were mocking the girl. They were mocking her to hard, she found herself glaring at them and seconds later a pillow went flying in their direction. As the pillow made contact with one of the items, it knocked it over and from it's insides a small sound of a string being touched was heard. The sound was faint, but it was so familiar, Nicole simply forgot about her current frown or growl and simply widened her eyes in wonder. The box was titled 'Things you don't need."
That son of a bitch… He didn't just…DID HE!
The teen wasted no time when she realized it. Fuck the whole new chapter thing! Like Toad once said "you should commemorate the past, live for the present and fuck the future! Other way it wouldn't be so fun." And boy he was right. So, Nicole just fucked it all for a few moments and stabbed the wooden bed with the dagger one more time, before getting off her bed and making herself way to the box. Should she open it, or shouldn't she? While she decided, the girl made herself more comfortable by placing the pillow she just thrown under her butt. And she decided to open it.
And it didn't even took her that much time, because the used scotch was such a poor quality she managed to rip the box apart with her bare hands. Peaking her eyes inside she bit her bottom lip at the sight of the shiny wooden surface of her beloved friend. Her acoustic guitar. Nicole reached her hand and touched it lightly. That fucker had forgotten about it case; guessed he haven't checked under her bed, and thus there were a couple of small scratches on its perfect smooth surface. Still, it took her another few seconds to manage and take the musical instrument out of the box and place it in her lap.
The feeling of having her guitar close to her again was overwhelming, and the teen couldn't help but smile a smile like no other. Her rough and boyish expression softened down and the smile curving her lips gave Nicky a gentle look. How in the world did he decided to place this baby in the 'things you don't need' box! It was almost insulting! With her left hand placed on the neck of the guitar, she pressed three strings as the right hand ran its fingers on them. The room filled with the lovely sound she just created, and Nicole allowed herself to close her eyes and take as much as she could from that solemn moment. It was the kind of feeling someone would get when receiving an…aphrodisiac or some kind of light drug. Only that it was the form of music.
And like any other drug, it was addicting. So addicting, Nicole found herself staring out the window with the guitar on her lap and her fingers simply playing a simple and soft melody on its strings. It was the kind of melody a mother would use as a lullaby for her child, and Nicole haven't played it for quite a while now. Considering how tense the things were back home, she never had the chance to actually play a song what-so-ever. So such a calm melody was out of discussion. Still, she found the strength to play it now. And she wasn't regretting it. The tune was so calm and smooth and simple…pure bliss and nothing more. Nicole understood perfectly why she had gotten the same feeling when she listened to Hagi playing his cello. Even more, she almost had painted the very same feeling he must have had while playing. But she was so bad at hiding it, since the dreamy smile was still planted on her face. The girl leaned her head backwards as her fingers continued to play along the strings. She remained like that for tens of seconds until her right hand dropped on her lap as Nicole enjoyed the echo of the last few notes. Well, it was exactly what she needed to make her day better.
Her eyes dropped on the instrument as she sighed deeply and her hands ran along the shiny wooden surface. That guitar…was a big part of her past. Maria thought her how to play a few years ago, right after SMC was officially a crew. And even if she did not a ear for music she learned it quickly. Of course, her work wasn't perfect and she only knew how to play simple songs, but for her was enough. Mostly because there were times when Toad done some beat-boxing and she just played a simple background tune. But most of times, she kept her 'performances' only for herself. Still, the guitar was a part of the past she tried to leave behind. Out of a sudden, Nicole felt a wave of rage and hatred towards Cornelius. He done nothing more but make it even more difficult then it already was. Frustrating…
She was now torn between hugging the item or throwing it to smash in a wall.
But she did not do any of those. Nicole sighed deeply and without looking she hid the guitar under her tall bed and pulled some sheets over so it would be hidden from her eyes. Maybe if she did not saw it, things would be easier. Well, it wasn't exactly that way…
Her head turned around as she spotted the other boxes. Well, she already saw and played her friend. What harm could do if she checked the other stuff as well? Sighing deeply, she reached her hand and grabbed the 'Thing you need' box. Hopefully there wasn't any big deal stuffed inside. Just a few clothes along with some magazines and some books she used to read. What Cornelius did not know was that more then half of the books had been gifted to her from her friend. The memory send another knot in her throat, but she decided to ignore it, so the books she did not wanted in her way went under the bed as well.
Nicole threw the now empty box away and directed her attention towards the 'things you don't need' box, with slightly narrowed eyes. Inside it were several things she considered at first useless, but then again at a closer look, she found almost a half of her original music CDs and DVDs, not to mentions some short films from her crew's performances. Of course, this brough another bitter-sweet sent inside Nicole's mouth. And it wasn't because of the music…Still, she couldn't help but smile lightly when she found at the bottom her laptop. Excuse me, did she said smile? Nicole truly chuckled at its sight. It looked ten times more destroyed then she remembered it to be. Well, considering it was an old and rusty model…But the girl never done any significant effort to keep it 'as good as new'. Still, after a quick check, she smiled again when she saw the memory card was still there. At least now she wouldn't get bored; she had installed a shit load of games on that piece of technologic garbage. Unlike the other items she found until then, the teen placed the laptop on her bed, but with the same characteristic careless attitude. Well, it was already trashed, right?
As she crawled on her room's floor to reach the final box, Nicole's smile disappeared when she saw what lied inside it. It was the smallest box, yet it carried enough to make Nicole's eyes tear, only for a second, before she came back into her sense. Inside rested all her past as a pro dancer. As a street dancer. Everything from her gloves and head-band to her boxes and her own rubber carpet, on which she used to practice with Ankh.
In the blink of an eye, everything came back to her and hit her mind like a whip. The very first dance she and the crew performed in the clubs had been rehearsed on that rubber carpet. The very last dance she and the crew were to perform had been rehearsed on that carpet. The very same scheme she missed so many times had been rehearsed on that carpet. That carpet carried with it her years since she started to dance. It knew every single move of Nicole, every single inch of it was permanently ready to support her back-flips, her worm moves and even the group-schemes such as the pyramids or the rings they used to do. As the memories invaded her mind, Nicole made the effort of taking the carpet out of the box and lay it in front on her. She stared blankly at it smooth and opaque surface as her fingers ran across it. Suddenly, the sensitive skin of her fingers met something wet and they suddenly stopped.
Tears. Were nothing more but another thing she would remember that carpet for.
Nicole smiled bitterly at her own ironic self.
'I will be able to dance again…'
A/N: I know this chapter is really short, but i just wanted to reveal what the heck was in those boxes :3 The next chapter will come soon as well and i think it will be about how Nicole dances and stuff, but im still thinking about that matter. Also, sorry for the lack of talent in describing the guitar and stuff...im not really the best at those, but really know, did you ever listened to a guitar solo? Its just beautiful ^^
Anyway, suggestiong are always loved C: Review please ^^