A/N: I got halfway through the first page in MS word while writing this before remembering who the maths teacher is. Oops. I've made a few assumptions about the out-of-lessons-ecchi-and-fighting life of a Youkai student, as strangely little is shown in the story proper. I'm also trying to keep from breaking the canon for as long as possible - Kokoa doesn't appear in the manga until (I'm assuming) about a week or so after the new term starts. Other than that, read and enjoy! And thankyou very mush to John-kun and Shan-hime for their continued support.

Warning: Mild humour (no humor here) and mild Britness. Seems to put some people off...

"So you've just arrived over from England?"

"No, Scotland. It's just north. Have you never heard of the musical instrument, the bagpipe?"

"No."

"Good. Horrible thing. Sounds like someone torturing a cat."

"And this is, what, a national instrument or something?"

"Yep. Mind you, the national dish is nice. Haggis."

"Ha-gi-su…?"

"Great stuff. You probably wouldn't like it, but I do."

"… I see."

Kiereth was walking leisurely down the corridor to his classroom. Maths. At least it wouldn't be that different, what with the different language. Formulae had a way of being easily translatable, consisting of many different rearrangements of the same words.

He wasn't just walking down the corridor, though. He had also struck up a conversation with a well-mannered girl he had just met, whose name was Shuzen Kokoa. A bit young to be at this level of school, but apparently this thing was common in Japan.

Kiereth's companion, however, was not walking with him. He was not, in fact, walking at all. What Kyr was spending his time doing was being dragged down the corridor by Kiereth. This was because he had just been deprived of the ability of walking. Let me explain:

Kokoa had swung for Kyr with her large bat-hammer. Kyr, trying to dodge, was taken by complete surprise as Kiereth had shouted, "Look, Kyr! Food!" This caused Kyr's attention to be quickly and effectively taken away from the large weapon flying towards him. The end result was a loud, sickening kneecapping.

Kyr could only mumble, "Git. What was that for?"

"For causing fights in schools. Remember last time?"

"No."

"Oh… shut up."

Kiereth and the short Japanese girl managed to find their way to the classroom with no further incidents, no doubt almost completely thanks to the latter's guidance. People mumbled as they saw someone obviously broken in some way being dragged into the classroom, but soon stopped showing sympathy when he flicked V-signs at them.

"Your friend's a bit rude, errr… Kiire- kiyere- errr…" The redhead had trouble finding her tongue. Kiereth waved his hands.

"Ehh… Just call me "Kiiru". And the prat down there is "Kairu."

They looked down at him. He was lying silently on the floor of the mostly-empty Maths classroom, twitching slightly.

"And it's okay to leave him with broken legs? We're in a school, not a battlefield."

"It's alright, they'll self-repair. In fact, I'm surprised they haven't already…" He gave the right leg a bit of a kick. There was a loud "pop" and a sharp gasp of pain as the joint fixed itself.

"Heeeh… That's interesting," observed Kokoa.

Kyr massaged his knees for a bit, moaning a bit. After a while, he tested the joints gingerly before promptly standing up, drawing back a fist, and launching it at Kiereth's nose. The nose caught it smugly, showing no physical signs of damage, and Kyr's voice was laced with poison as he threatened, "I am going to kill you one day, Kiereth…"

Kiereth was about to give a smart-arse comment back about being able to take a punch on the nose without being hurt, but the chance was snatched away from him by an overly-obviously seductive voice from behind him saying, "What's this? Now, I can't have my students starting fights!"

Kyr just stared past Kiereth. "That's the Maths teacher?"

Kiereth didn't want to turn round.

"So, as you can see from this equation, quadratic equations can also…"

God blind me, thought Kiereth. It's the first day of school and they're right into the curriculum.

He really hadn't been expecting this – a major miscalculation on his part, as this event was much more ordinary than the rest that had gone on through the day so far. The immorally busty teacher had asked the two to take seats, and once the rest of the class had piled in, she had started straight into a Calculus lesson. Nothing Kiereth couldn't handle (he had a hunch that due to an error in the student recruitment system he had gone back a year), but Kyr was staring at the teacher in what he hoped was bewilderment.

Kiereth took the brief lack of required concentration to ponder his situation. Any normal person's reaction would be "Oh bugger, I'm going to die. Get me out." However, Kiereth prided himself much on being not a normal person. This was for two reasons. First, his personality:

Kiereth harboured a strong hatred of sports. Any sign of a pair of spiked shoes, polo stick or football ball (the game is called "football", so it stands to reason that the ball used in it is a football ball, like cricket ball or hockey ball) typically sent Kiereth in to a seething rage so intense that it would take his girlfriend at least one gut punch to calm him down.

Next was his loathing of celebrities. With rockstars or comedians there was no problem, as he saw them as talented and entertaining. His disgust lay with tose simpering idiots who had contributed in no discernible way to anything and yet were still worth millions.

And the final way, which was quite a bit more important than his dislike of certain aspects of society, was his-

"Ragessamu-kun! Could you answer this next question for me please?"

That's how the Japanese pronounce my name! What a weird pronunciation system. At least it's better than back at home. Heh heh heh… Oh, wait!

"Ahh…" His eyes scanned the board for a moment. "It's… negative… over… errr… The answer's just root-three over X squared."

The teacher beamed at him – though it was a glaringly-obviously sexual grin – and congratulated him, earning a scathing look from Kyr (Traitor! Traitor! You and your intellect!). The matter was further compounded by the fact that the teacher called upon him to try the next equation, at which he quite nearly expired in a cloud of smoke.

But that was fair enough. First day in the class, need to get to grips with the sort of stuff. It was no reason to warrant the teacher asking Kyr to see her at the end of the day. Well, maybe it was… Kiereth just had a gut feeling that the look she gave Kyr was predatory.

But that would have to wait.

At four o'clock a third-year, a black-haired guy with a strange accent that made him hard to understand, looking strangely envious at the girl showing the new first-year girls around, gave the boys a tour of the lodgings. It was, all-in-all, pretty nice. Spacious, access to electricity and broadband, fridge, microwave oven, en-suite bathroom; all the essentials.

It was missing the operations to an orbital bombardment orbiting directly over the small Scottish village of Kelty, but that was another matter.

Kiereth was pleased to find out that Kyr's room was just across from his. All-nighters with the very best of the next-gen consoles (no names) entered the room and found his suitcase on his bed. Strange. Did someone go round every dorm and place all the suitcases in the rooms of their soon-to-be occupants? Maybe. He proceeded to do what any sane teenager would do and flopped onto the bed.

He was woken up by someone frantically shaking him by the shoulder. He instinctively lashed out at the annoyance.

"Ah!"

Kiereth groaned. "Let me go back to sleep, Kyr!"

"I can't let you, Kiereth! You've been asleep for four years!"

"WHAAAAT?"

Kiereth shot out of bed. He rushed for the mirror that he knew had inexplicably appeared on his table. In a panic he grabbed at it, missed, and tried again. He brought the glass to his face and saw…

A beard. He had been in a coma so long he had grown a… wait…

"Kyr… my hair is brown… not ginger."

He slowly turned to see his friend doubled up on the floor, crying with laughter. "Oh, your face! Your face!"

Kiereth pulled off the fake beard. He walked over to Kyr, who was gasping for breath, bent down, grabbed his jaw and tried to force the joke beard down Kyr's throat. This only caused Kyr to start laughing harder, setting off Kiereth as well.

"You… haah… git! You… heh… utter bastard!"

"It's my job. I'm in a working environment as a joker. And, as this is my workplace, I demand flexible hours, or at least this week's paycheck."

"Denied."

"I'm striking!"

"…Fine by me."

They paused to catch their breath. Hoping no more tricks would be pulled, Kiereth turned to his suitcase. "I'm going to unpack. You want to watch? Or are you going to unpack your own stuff?"

"I'm done with that. You've actually been asleep for an hour."

"…So I have!" Kiereth shot Kyr an annoyed look. "You're too tidy. Act your age!"

"No, I'm just not a complete layabout like you."

Kiereth contemplated Kyr's argument for a moment before wisely changing the subject before his friend could beat him in any more arguments. "I think it's time for a bit of music. You alright with that?"

"Fine, but keep it below eleven."

"Fair enough. Right, where is it?"

He started fishing around in the case for something. Kyr looked intently, wondering why he didn't just upturn the thing on the bed, but soon saw why not as an improbably long shape was drawn, Mary Poppins-style, from the suitcase. That was where the similarities to Victorian-period children's stories ended. The item was covered end-to-end in black leather, and was shaped rather like a large medieval weapon. Kiereth, with an air of sentiment, slowly opened the item's outer covering to reveal…

A black-and-blue flame-patterned Flying V guitar.

So! I am planning next chapter to reveal at least some elements of the protagonistic duo, and to start expanding on the ecchi. In the meanwhile, I'm fair game for your reviews!