Chapter 4 (revised):
Edward's POV:
I jerked back roughly on the reins, and my stallion threw his head up in surprise as he came to an abrupt halt. I stopped to take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I could feel my eyebrows pressing together, and my teeth were so tightly clamped that the muscles in my jaw jumped. I took another breath and reminded myself that it wasn't the horse I was angry at. I turned Mystery around and urged him to gallop after the young girl.
As I began to gain on her, I watched as she flew off her horse and through the door of what appeared to be an old farming house. The windows were dusty and it looked like it could use a new coat of paint. I pulled my stallion to a stop next to hers and slowly but deliberately walked up the front porch steps and I stopped dead in my tracks, recognizing the smell instantly.
I stepped into the dark house; past the old sofa and the rotted floorboards. There was an old rocking chair and around the base of the chair was a wide circle of dried blood. I felt an utter revulsion because whoever had killed this person wanted to make it as bloody and horrible as possible.
As I was examining the main sitting room, I heard a soft sobbing upstairs. I suddenly remembered the main reason why I had come into this forlorn and desolate place. I found an old spiral staircase tucked in the corner of the room and slowly made my way up the stairs, while praying that I wouldn't fall through the rotted steps.
When I got to the top, I found a small hallway. All the doors were shut, except for the one at the very end. I made my way soundlessly to the door and peered in. There to my surprise was the slave girl. She was silently sobbing into a pillow.
Bella's POV:
I don't know how long I lay there crying, but it must have only been a few moments before I felt that somebody was in the room with me. I sat up and dried my eyes. I wasn't about to let this strange man see me while I was weak. I got up and immediately tripped over my own two feet.
I closed my eyes, waiting to just hit the ground, but I never did. I waited for a few more seconds, but it never came. I gradually opened my eyes and I found myself inches from my owner's face; his golden topaz eyes alight with concern. He sat me down carefully on the corner of my old bed and sat next to me.
"What happened here?" he whispered obviously curious.
"When did you start caring?" I muttered as I slowly stood up and before he could catch hold of my wrist was out the door and down the stairs.
Hey, I hope this revised version is slightly better, but I sometimes have issues writing characters down on paper. So if you have any suggestions, just leave them in my reviews and I'll try to keep them in mind. Thank you Bella-n-Edward4Eternity for the helpful advice.