Can't Get Enough Of Voldy.

Voldemort

"Ok, Dudley. I want you to go down there and get my package." Voldemort said, pointing down a small cobbled street with a wonky sign with a hand pointing it's index finger down the street with the words 'Knockturn Alley' written upon the black sleeve in white writing.

Dudley stood on the spot, rubbing his hands together whilst his teeth were chattering in fear.

"Are you not going to go in?" Voldemort asked, his face distorting into an expression of anger.

Dudley shook his head and whimpered.

"Why not?" Voldemort spat, clenching his fists.

"I-I-I'm scared!" He cried, his knees shaking violently whilst his teeth continued to chatter.

Voldemort rolled his eyes. "Never get a muggle to do a wizard's job!" He muttered under his breath. Why had he had a sudden change of heart and decided that this muggle might have actually have been of use to him? He could see now that he probably wasn't going to be of any use to him at all. He had to choose the most stupid muggle out of the whole muggle world to be his sidekick upon this journey. Had he purely just chosen him because he was a muggle who actually hated Potter almost as much as he did?

"Hello there, Handsome." A woman with long, blonde hair said. She was dressed in a tight, sleeveless shirt and a short leather skirt. Her face was completely plastered with make-up so that her actual identity was almost undistinguishable.

Voldemort's eyes widened in fear. "Ermm…" He looked around him quickly, to see that Dudley had disappeared. He screwed his face up into an annoyed expression. "I have important business to do." He replied before trying to walk past her as quickly as he could, pulling the hood further over his head, hindering his vision slightly.

She grabbed hold of his arm. "Come on! I am sure that you have time for little Patricia here. Even between your evil biddings." She said sweetly, smiling broadly.

Voldemort's mouth fell open. "I am afraid I am too busy." He said hastily.

"Oh, come on. A man of your evil genius needs some 'rewards' every now and then." She said, slyly, licking her lips and trying to push her chest into his face.

Voldemort tried to turn away and run but this woman had a tight grip upon his forearm. "I-I am afraid that I do not want any of the things that you may be able to offer me." He gasped, trying very hard not to squeal in fear at this woman harassing him. He was the Dar Lord! Women shouldn't be harassing his for such mundane things.

"Of course you do." She pushed her body against his. "All men want sexual experiences every now and again." She positively purred.

"I am no ordinary man, Patricia!" Voldemort shouted back.

She stepped back slightly, shocked for a second. After she had recovered, she continued her assault. "Come on! You know that you want me!" She chortled.

"No! I am-"

"Oh, come on. I only charge ten Galleons." She said, blinking her eyes rapidly.

"I don't care how much you charge! I am not paying!" Voldemort almost squeaked.

Dudley suddenly appeared out of nowhere with a note in his hand. "I'll give you ten quid-"

"I am sorry, love but I do have standards." She said, giving Dudley the once over.

He rolled his eyes. "I will give you ten quid if you leave us alone." Although he was putting on a brave and arrogant front, Voldemort could see Dudley's knees shaking rapidly as though he was about to collapse.

"Do you not have wizard money?" She asked, sneering at the paper in Dudley's hand.

"No. I don't. Will you leave us alone now?" Dudley asked. His bottom lip was beginning to tremble and it was almost a sure deal that if this went on for much longer, he was going to break down into tears and begin to grovel upon his knees.

"OK! I'll take it! I just hope that Gringotts will be able to exchange it." She hissed, snatching the money out of Dudley's hand and storming away, her heels tapping angrily on the cobbled floor as she did so.

Voldemort turned to Dudley. "Thank you." He said, immediately regretting it. Lord Voldemort never said thank you, let alone to muggles.

"It's ok. I am stuck with you anyway, considering the fact you kidnapped me!" Dudley said, almost crying.

"Mugglenapped! For the last time, I mugglenapped you!" Voldemort grumbled, storming away down the street towards Borgin And Burkes.

Dudley came scampering behind him. "At least I helped you get away from that lady-"

"That witch was not a lady!" He shuddered. "Women like that make my skin crawl. All they want is penis!" He cried.

Dudley fell silent and began to twiddle his thumbs, trying his best to walk and twiddle at the same time without falling over Voldemort's billowing cloak.