Broken China Doll

by: pandorabox82

Chapter Five: Unholy Notion of the Mythic Power of Love

By the time she'd sent Vernon and Dudley off, Harry had tea ready and on the table. When she'd come into the kitchen, he was sitting in Vernon's chair, reading the paper, looking for something. "What are you looking for?"

"If there've been any unexplained deaths in the area lately. Voldemort's been on the warpath more and more, and he's started going after the Muggles and Muggleborn with a vengeance. I don't want him around here, so I check the paper every day."

"Would he really come this far? I mean, your school's in Scotland, right?"

"Yes, it is, but he feels like he had to get rid of everything that stands in his way. And he does it in such a way that no Muggle would get suspicious. Anyway, let's get on with your story. What are we going to talk about today?"

"Today, I'm going to tell you about Vernon and why I married him. You see him as he is today, but sometimes I can see in him the suave young man that Father brought home one day…"

"Petunia, I'd like you to meet Vernon Dursley. His uncle owns Grunnings, where I work. I've told Vernon so much about you in the past few weeks as he's been learning the ropes, and he said that he just had to meet you. Vernon, this is my daughter, Petunia."

He took her hand and placed a soft kiss on it. "Echante, Cherie."

Petunia giggled a bit, her fifteen year old self showing through. "Likewise," she responded, tucking a piece of her dark brown hair behind her ear. She led them into the living room, and her father sat in his chair, while Vernon joined her on the sofa. He sat very close to her, and she felt a small inkling of panic begin to curl up in the pit of her stomach. 'Why is he here,' she thought. 'If Father brought him home, does that mean he expects me to like him? He does seem nice and all, but I just don't trust Father.'

"So, Petunia, your father tells me you're going to be a secretary at Grunnings soon. Aren't you going to finish school?"

"My grades aren't the best, so there's no point in my continuing," she replied, a wistful tone in her voice.

"Well, I'm certain you'll do just fine there. The work's not too hard. Say, my uncle said I'll need a personal secretary – would you like that position? He said that I could have anyone of my choosing."

"I-I guess. Are you sure you want me?" she asked, looking down at her clasped hands, missing the look that Vernon gave her.

"Of course I want you. You seem like a very bright, charming young woman from what your father's told me. So, shall I tell my uncle that I've found my secretary?"

"Yes, that would be fine."

"Great! I'll stop by tomorrow with the details. Now, I really must get going, there's an important dinner this evening that I've been roped into going to. It was nice meeting you, Petunia. You're just as I imagined you'd be." He stood and let himself out, leaving Petunia in a daze.

Petunia soon found herself swept up into a working girl's life. She knew her mother was disappointed she'd quit school, and she felt little pangs of conscience every time she left for work with her father. She soon came to hate that ride into the city, as even then she wasn't safe from her father. But, then she was with Vernon and everything seemed to be better. He was so kind to her, and she found herself falling in love with him.

At work, she found any excuse she could to be close to Vernon and proved herself invaluable to him. Soon, he was taking her on business trips with him and the like.

It was on her first anniversary of working for him that he asked her to go out with him after work. He took her to a posh restaurant where she felt underdressed and out of place. Vernon assured her that she looked fine, and made her feel as comfortable as he could.

"So, would you like to do this again?" he asked as he drove her home.

She nodded, not looking at him, afraid he'd see the devotion in her eyes and scorn her for it. Ever since he'd begun to show an interest in her, her father had backed off, leaving her along more and more often. She knew in her heart that she'd do anything for Vernon.

That weekend, he took her to a nice dress shop and bought her a sharp-looking blue suit. "Can't have my assistant not looking her best," he'd said when she had objected to his paying for it. Next, he took her to a salon, where he had her hair styled and cut, to match the tone of the outfit, he'd explained.

She went home feeling like a princess in a fairy tale, and was seriously considering what he had suggested as they left the salon. 'Maybe I would look better as a blonde,' she thought as she took her outfit upstairs and hung it in her closet. Going to her vanity mirror, she tried to picture herself with lighter hair, but found she couldn't.

By the next weekend, she no longer had to imagine. She'd made the appointment on Monday and on Friday, she joined the world of blondes. She didn't particularly care for it, but Vernon's approval of her decision the following Monday made it all worthwhile. He'd taken her out that night, and when he'd brought her home, he gave her her first kiss from him. It was nothing like Remus's, her brain screamed as the kiss continued. Where Remus's kiss had been sweet and giving, Vernon's kiss was hungry and taking. Petunia pushed away the thought, focusing on Vernon and how he was making her feel.

As the kiss kept going, Petunia felt his hand move slowly up her side until it rested beneath her breast. This finally woke her up and she broke the kiss, pushing his hand away.

Instantly, he apologized for his forward behavior and escorted her to the door. "May I see you again on Wednesday?"

"Silly, you'll see me at work tomorrow."

"No, I mean can I take you out on Wednesday?"

"Oh, I don't see why not."

"Good, because I have something important to ask you."

"What is it, Vernon?"

"Not until Wednesday, my Pet. I'll see you tomorrow at work," he replied with a smirk.

Petunia went inside, wondering what Vernon could have to ask her. 'Maybe he wants to marry me. No, he couldn't. I'm sure it's just some business question.' She made her way upstairs and opened her window, letting the heady summer air into her room. As she changed into her nightgown, an owl flew into her room, dropping off a heavy envelope. It took off again before she could send it back with said envelope. Looking at it, she recognized Lily's beautiful script on the front,

Opening the letter addressed to her, she quickly read about her sister's wedding and the honeymoon she and James had spent in Rome. Lily had enclosed some pictures, and Petunia wept to see how happy her sister looked, as if she had finally escaped her demons. On the back of one of the wedding party pictures, Lily had written an invitation to join her at their home in Godric's Hollow, if she wanted.

Petunia longed to run to her sister and ask for her forgiveness for the cruel things she'd done, but a part of her wanted to stay here and be with Vernon. 'Maybe Vernon would visit them with me,' she thought. 'I'll ask him at dinner on Wednesday.'

Wednesday came, and Petunia anxiously awaited the evening. Vernon took her back to the first restaurant they'd gone to, and somehow she knew that this was really important, whatever he was going to ask her. Nervously, she played with her napkin throughout the meal. Finally, it was over, and Vernon called the waiter over, whispering something in his ear. He left the table and returned with a bottle of champagne, setting it in a bucket of ice on the table.

Vernon stood and moved to her side. Heavily, he got down on one knee and pulled out a small velvet-covered box. Opening it, he asked without preamble, "Petunia, will you marry me?"

All thoughts of Lily flew from her head as she looked at the diamond ring in the box. She began to cry a little and suddenly, she pictured Remus there instead of Vernon. This made her cry all the harder, and as she tried to push the image from her mind, she nodded.

Vernon took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger. It was a perfect fit and looked so beautiful on her hand. Yet a tiny part of her cried that it was a clever trap, meant to keep her from her true potential. Ignoring that voice, Petunia bent forward and kissed Vernon soundly.

He stood and poured her a glass of the bubbly champagne, and then himself. "To our future," he said as he tapped her glass with his.

She drank it down, not realizing how potent it was, never having drank anything stronger than watered down wine. Vernon filled her glass again, and cautioned her to slow down on it. She nodded, and smiled at her soon-to-be husband, all thoughts of Lily and the life she could have had swept from her mind.

She wrote to Lily, telling her of the good news, and how she'd be unable to make it out to her place just now, what with planning the wedding and all.

The months between July and March seemed to fly by. Each day, there was some new detail that had to be completed. People to invite, wedding parties to form, dresses to be fitted for, halls to rent, churches to rent, ministers to ask to conduct the service. It never ended, or so it seemed to Petunia.

Petunia and Vernon's first argument came when they were making up the invitation list. He'd seen her sister's name on the list and yelled that he wasn't having a bunch of freaks at what was supposed to be his perfect day with his love. She'd asked him where he'd heard about her sister from, and he told her everything her father had told him about Lily and her world.

By the end of the argument, Vernon had convinced her that he was right, and she agreed not to send them an invitation, or ever speak to them again. She didn't want to lose Vernon, not because of something so trivial, and she reluctantly closed the door on any future she'd thought Lily and her could share.

March 16th, 1979, was a glorious day. Petunia should know, seeing as how she'd been up since dawn, nervous about the ceremony to come. Her mum brought her breakfast at eight, and Petunia picked at it, not really hungry. Looking about her old room, all of her belongings packed up to be taken to the house Vernon had bought them, she realized that she would never be coming home again. She was finally free to live a normal life with a husband who only wanted the best for her.

Sighing, she sat in front of her vanity and began putting her make-up on. By the time she'd finished, Vernon's sister, Marge, had joined her and was getting into her maid of honor dress. Petunia had always believed that Lily would be that for her, not some stranger she'd only met a few times before. Soon, her mother came into the room and helped Marge get Petunia into her dress. It was a beautiful creation, done in a medieval style with a long train. Since she was naturally very slim, she'd forgone the corset that had been suggested with the dress.

Once more, she sat at the vanity and had her mother put up her hair, then place the veil over the mass of curls she'd managed to coax out of the thin fine hair that, like Petunia, tended to be very contrary. Together, they followed Marge downstairs and into the waiting limo.

The trip to the church was one of the longest Petunia could remember. When the limo stopped in front of the doors, a thrill of excitement shot through her. She was really doing it, she was flying away from here and all that 'here' represented.

Marge helped her from the vehicle and led her into the church. All the guests were seated, and all that was left was for the family to be seated, then the ceremony could begin.

Petunia was surprised when her mother pulled her into a tight hug. "I invited Lily her, for you, after I heard that Vernon had forbid you to do so. Don't worry, it's only her, I made James stay home. Don't act so shocked, we've kept in touch. She's in the back, under a glamour spell, it was the most I could give you," her mother whispered in her ear. When she broke the embrace, Petunia was shocked to see the sadness in her mother's eyes. "Grow free, my precious little blossom, away from him."

Turning, her mother approached her father, and they were led to their seats in the sanctuary by an usher. Petunia was in a daze, and everything seemed to slow down. Finally, she heard the strains of 'Canon in D' begin, her cue to start down the nave towards the waiting Vernon. The ceremony passed by her unnoticed, and she replied in the appropriate places as if on auto-pilot. Soon, the minister was saying the closing prayer and announcing them as Mr and Mrs Vernon Dursley. Triumphantly, Vernon led her to the back of the church and they stood by the doors, greeting their guests. The last ones out were the back rows, and Lily was one of the final ones. The moment she hugged Petunia, she knew that it was her sister in the guise of an older woman. "I love you, Lily," she whispered in the other woman's ear.

"And I, you, my dearest sister. Mum told me everything, so I understand, a little. I guess this is good-bye."

"It was nice of you to come. I'm surprised you remember us from the flat."

"Yes, well, a face like yours is hard to forget. Congratulations once more." With those words, Lily bled back into the crowd, soon lost among the throng of people. Petunia smiled, a sense of peace filling her soul.

Soon, they were at the reception, and Vernon's family had them kissing at every possible moment. They ate very little, knowing they had a meal waiting for them at their hotel in Paris.

"Are you ready?" he asked, looking quite dashing in a pale grey suit.

"As I'll ever be," she replied, tugging at the jacket of her light pink travelling suit. When no one was looking, they slipped out of the reception hall and into the waiting limo that took them to the airport.

They were in Paris by the evening, eating supper on the terrace of their suite that overlooked the Seine and offered them a glimpse of the Eiffel Tower. After they'd eaten, Vernon poured her a glass of champagne. She took a small sip, recalling the effect it had had on her before.

Setting the glass on the bedside table, she then opened her suitcase and pulled out a silk negligee that had been packed there. She went into the bathroom and slipped into it, then looked at herself in the mirror. She was finally getting used to herself as a blonde, and though she was slim, she had a nice chest. She only hoped that she could please Vernon; make him as happy as he had made her.

Stepping out of the bathroom, she felt Vernon wrap his arms around her, Having been waiting for her. Hungrily, he kissed her, slipping the straps of the negligee off her shoulders, baring her to him. Picking her up, he carried her to the bed, covering her body in kisses. The last thing she remembered was him penetrating her, not encountering any barrier. He looked down at her in shock and backhanded her, causing her head to smack into the wooden headboard, and she mercifully passed out.

"So, who was he?" His angry voice woke her up in the morning.

Groaning, she struggled to sit up, her head spinning, body aching. "Who was who, dearest?"

"The one who had you before me. Who took what was meant for me?" He glared at her and she knew he couldn't hear the truth, he wouldn't believe her if she tried.

"I-it was one of Lily's friends, Remus, when they were visiting during the Christmas holidays. I-I'm sorry I didn't know it was that important to you."

"You were supposed to be perfect. Now, you're going to have to earn what respect I think you deserve."

"But Vernon, I love you. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"Yes, but you should have told me about this before we married."

"I'd forgotten about it, it meant so little to me. You were much better, believe me."

"Oh, sweetums, I'm sorry I hurt you," he said, a sudden remorse coming over him, his twisted face returning to normal. She leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek before getting out of bed and going into the bathroom.

Turning on the shower, she let the hot water pelt down on her, mixing with her tears. 'Who am I?' she thought 'When did I turn myself into someone I no longer recognize, let alone like?'

"Shh, Aunt Petunia, it's all right, I'm here and you're safe," Harry said after she'd abruptly stopped speaking, her tears coming too fast to make speech understandable. He'd moved to her side almost at the beginning of the day's tale, and grabbed onto her hand when she'd begun to cry.

"Don't you see, Harry? I loved him, I really did. If I'd known then what I know now, it wouldn't have ended up like this. I never realized I'd be the one to pay the price that set Lily free. Now I'm trapped once more, only this time in a cage of my own making. You're so lucky to be leaving here soon, to be free in your world."

"If Voldemort doesn't kill me, that is," he said with a mirthless laugh. "Go upstairs and sleep. I'll make supper this evening."

She obeyed him, her emotions still wildly out of control. About halfway up the stairs, she heard him call after her: "Oh, and see if you can find your wand. There's something I want to try with your tomorrow."

She nodded, though she knew he couldn't see her and continued up the stairs. Her wand was right where it had always been. On the top shelf of her closet, buried in her winter sweaters.