A/N: I get giddy about reviews. Is that normal? Every time I get on the computer now the first thing I do is check to see if any of you lovely readers left me a note. My favorite time to check is first thing in the morning, since a third of a day goes by in which people could read and possibly leave reviews. I hope you like this, and I hope tomorrow morning will be good! :D
Shelby Corcoran was many things: she was beautiful, intelligent, hard-working, determined, independent, and extremely talented. To say that she was a coward was generally inaccurate, though there were exceptions to this. She still flinched under her mother's vicious "Do it or else" glare, because the "or else" tended to be quite unpleasant. Next, she hated horses and refused to go near them; when she was six years old, her parents took her and her sister out to a ranch and practically pushed her to pet the ancient, cranky horse. She still had a faint scar on her arm from where the thing bit her.
Finally, her greatest fear came in the form of two flaming men who were some of the nicest guys she had ever met. She hated to be near them and to look them in the eye because of the absurd amount of power they had over her. Each one of them had a fantastic grip on her heartstrings, and if she wasn't careful they could potentially yank and fling her around like Crinkles the Horse did.
That was the primary reason Shelby was quiet when she took Rachel home that night. She wasn't sure if she should walk her daughter up to the door and deal with her dads or if she should hide in her car and accept that she was a chicken. Neither seemed very desirable. Since Rachel technically found her it wasn't wrong for them to hang out, but she didn't think the Berrys would see it like that. She figured they would worry about their little girl spending time with the new, competing, and 100-percent verifiable parent and would become extremely defensive. She doubted she would be invited in for coffee that evening to catch up, even though the three of them had gotten along well during the pregnancy.
She wondered if Rachel would tell them about her evening. It had been pretty good all in all; once they had actually gotten started with the costume it went quick. Shelby was clever enough with costume design and improvisation that the actual dress was cut and sewn in a couple of hours, with only a few small things left over to touch up. During that time, she allowed Rachel to fill in much about her life that Shelby hadn't been able to gather from where she had watched from afar, and the girl needed little prompting—she could talk! Shelby had her fetching them constant supplies of tea to keep them caffeinated, and after a few cups Rachel was difficult to shut up. Shelby felt bad encouraging her to continue getting refills, knowing that her dads would have another reason to dislike her if Rachel's hyperactivity didn't wear off by the time she went home, but another thing Shelby was from time to time was selfish.
But the more Shelby learned about her throughout the night, the more secure she was in realizing Rachel's dads had nothing to be concerned about. She absolutely adored them and it was clear they spoiled her rotten. It was also exceedingly apparent that she was no little girl anymore, as Shelby had noticed before; there was a point in the evening in which Rachel explained her thoughts about sex and her indecision regarding it, and Shelby had to leave the room after nearly choking to death on her hot tea. It was the very first day of her life that she spent significantly with her daughter, and needless to say she wasn't prepared to talk about sex just yet. She was relieved when Rachel's long wind carried her through to another subject after the older woman's near-death experience.
Those were the secondary reasons she was so silent on the drive.
The caffeine had almost completely worked its way through Rachel's tiny system by the time they were heading to her home, meaning that she was coherent enough at this point to finally notice Shelby's growing quietness. (Before, she had been too chatty to realize that Shelby hardly spoke, particularly when she had been concentrating on the costume.) Rachel, possibly unnerved by her company's muteness, became timid again, and Shelby was pissed at herself for causing them to back-step in their relationship once again. Still, there was a light in Rachel's eyes that hadn't been there that afternoon, and noticing that had made it worth it for Shelby.
"Do you want me to walk you up?" Shelby asked as she put her truck in park, turning in her seat to look Rachel in the eye. She used her training as a thespian to hide her dread at the idea of seeing the dads. As it was, she kept glancing out of the corner of her eyes at the dim windows of the house, waiting for an angry silhouette to appear in them like a psycho in a horror movie.
"No, I think I'll be okay," Rachel said with a sweet smile, and hugged the large trash bag that held her ugly doll dress, cape and other oddities to her body, which was still clothed in the running clothes Shelby had given her. She wasn't rushing out of the car. "So will I see you tomorrow?"
"I'll finish your costume tonight and drop it off at McKinley in the afternoon. You've got all the makeup I gave you, and the gloves? The stockings?"
"Yes, yes and yes," Rachel said with a roll of her eyes. It was the most motherly Shelby had felt in her entire life. Rachel began climbing of the car. "Thanks…for everything."
Shelby's smile felt more like a frown; it certainly didn't reach her eyes. Rachel was about to close the door when Shelby stopped her suddenly, surprising herself as much as the teenager.
"This can't be an all-the-time thing." The words fell out of her before she could stop them, and her eyelids fell closed as she took a steadying breath. Rachel was still and clearly confused where she stood across the vehicle. Shelby's words faltered, and under the pressure she gave a half-true excuse. "I-I mean, your dads wouldn't appreciate it." Shelby felt guilty about putting the blame on the Berry men, especially when her reasoning was because of her personal issues and emotions, but she couldn't bring herself to be forthright.
"I understand." She nodded, undoubtedly noticing Shelby's strange tone, but smiled anyway. "Good night…" She seemed ready to tack "Mom" to the end but thankfully stopped herself, perhaps realizing as Shelby did that it was inappropriate and undeserved.
Shelby's dark eyes followed Rachel all the way up the path to the front door and into the home. She partly wished she had braved the situation and invited herself in; she would love to finally step foot in that house and see what Rachel's life was like. She supposed she wouldn't like what she would see, however; the reality of the situation was clear enough without seeing the evidence against her first hand.
Once she was satisfied that Rachel was safe and secure in her house, Shelby pulled the transmission into drive but didn't take her foot off of the brake, unable to leave just yet. She looked up at Rachel's bedroom window, the light of which turned on as she watched it, and smiled when she saw the teenager fill the space and wave down to her. She held up her hand in acknowledgment, her fingers curling down as she tore her eyes away out of discomfiture. How many times had she stared up at that window from the street, wanting nothing more than to have her daughter look back? She didn't feel quite the way she had expected to.
She finally released the brake pedal and accelerated away, her mind bustling with thoughts. If she had the time, she would have just driven aimlessly for a while to sort out the muddle in her mind, but she was more responsible than that. She had to run to the mall before it closed and find sunglasses to match the costume, then run home and attach the checkered decorative piece to the front that she hadn't gotten to yet. Not to mention that, since she was a perfectionist, she was going to look at every seam again to make sure she didn't miss anything. It was going to be another couple of hours before she could consider the project finished.
When she arrived back at her house, Shelby was just unbuckling her seatbelt when she saw a strange color in the shadows in front of the passenger seat. She reached down and realized it was one of the stuffed animals from Rachel's dress—a little blue elephant. She reached forward and wrapped her fingers around the plush toy, bringing it to her chest and holding it there as though hugging it.
Perhaps once Rachel regarded this stuffed animal as special, but she had seemingly reached the point in which the toy had lost its favor with her and was better off being forcibly stapled on a dress rather than held. How could she have been absent for so long?
She sighed, and after exiting and locking her car Shelby walked into her house, dropped her keys in the bowl, and felt a little different about it. She couldn't tell if she were happier about standing in the dark entryway – the one her daughter had stood in less than four hours before – or much sadder. She wanted more out of this house; she craved for it to be more of a home than she ever had before. It would never be one as long as she was alone.
She dropped her bag into her study, which was otherwise ignored for the rest of the evening, went to her bedroom to change and then weaved her way through to her living room – Rachel had chosen to work in there after discovering Shelby's extremely impressive CD collection – so she could finish the dress. It took her a half an hour to properly secure the frontal adornment because she kept worrying that the cardboard bit would end up sticking uncomfortably into Rachel's armpit, and that wasn't what Shelby Corcoran wanted her creation to be remembered for. When she decided it was finished, she looked at the mannequin with satisfaction, knowing that she had done one hell of a job in such a short amount of time.
It was late and she was tired. She left all of her sewing stuff strewn around her living room to be dealt with later and went to turn in. She climbed into her messy bed and reached to turn off her lamp, but halted when she saw the small light-blue elephant on the bedside table. She wasn't sure how long she stared at it; it wasn't the same as having a photograph of Rachel, but finally Shelby Corcoran had something to remind her of her daughter around her home, even if it was bittersweet.