Lanie-chan-- I completely agree with you and I assure you once they get out of Suna which will be next chapter, action will encompass the whole story. It's just that the relationships that are still developing need to be complete by that time so when the action starts the drama is felt. I'm sorry it's taking so long. I kind of screwed myself up in a way because I took on so many relationships. I hadn't planned on it but it just worked out that way.
But I promise, the action will be worth the wait. It'll be good and surprising and you'll probably hate me. :)
Chapter 16- My Darkest Day
There are times when I'm just a shell, When I do not feel anything for anyone. All I feel is hollow and bruised Used up and misused Forced to be someone I don't want to be... Have I failed somehow or someway? Will the weights of today finally pull me down to drown in the depths of despair, Where I'm all alone except for my rage?
--
Sakura turned the page before slamming the large medical book shut and throwing it aside with four others. She ran a hand over the spines of six unread ones, yanking out a book and filing through the index. She flipped to the page, grabbing her highlighter and scanning several lines.
Only a second passed 'till she shook her head and leaned back in the chair to look outside. Her balcony doors were wide open allowing the cold windy air to filter through her room. She tightened the blanket around and grabbed hold of her hot tea to warm up. Sakura stared out into the night sky finding it cloudless but the moon filled up much space from its low position.
Thoughts of Sasuke were taking over again and she shut her eyes tight to get rid of them. However, that one passionately annoying question was burning in her head.
Ever since she woke from that colorless world, only one question still went unanswered. Why hadn't he killed her? If he was no longer the man she loved, if he no longer had any bonds, then why, why didn't he end it when he had the chance? What did that mean? It had to mean something, it just had too.
Sakura looked down to her medical book and sighed. She refocused her attention, cutting off the thoughts she shouldn't be thinking off. Sakura forced herself at the problem at hand. There was something wrong with TenTen's chakra signature and finding an answer for it was not turning out as easy as she thought it would. Two particular solutions kept coming up in each volume but neither of them she liked so she continued on her search.
A knock sounded and though she wanted to ignore it, she knew it was impossible. Ino poked her head in, smiling softly. "There you are." She shut the door behind her, "Why not come hang out with us? Temari brought over this awesome game and everyone's getting drunk off their asses."
"Except you?"
"I know when I get drunk I'm way too honest." Sakura laughed knowing too well how true that statement was.
"Is TenTen out there?"
Ino sat on the bed, shaking her head. "As far as I know she's locked herself in the spare room. She's changed a lot since we first came here." Sakura nodded looking down at her book shortly. "And so have you."
Sakura smiled brightly, "What's this? A caring Ino?"
Ino lowered her gaze remembering TenTen's powerful grief that shined so brightly in her chocolate brown eyes. Six days later and she still felt guilt for being so blind to it. Shortly after she had also noticed Sakura's depression but she had been unable to talk to Sakura since the woman now kept herself busy working at the Suna hospital. Self-loathing was an easy feeling to succumb to. She had been so wrapped up in her own personal problems that the few people she cared about were hurting without her knowledge. She had to make it right somehow, even if that meant crossing lines. "You haven't talk to me about Sasuke yet."
Sakura turned away, "There's nothing to talk about."
"The man you loved and gave yourself to is finally caught again and there's nothing to talk about?"
"Nope."
"What does Kiba have to say about it?"
"He doesn't have a problem with it because he's knows I'm over him."
"Over him?" Sakura nodded. "Then why won't you see him?" Ino's eyes widened when her friend stood suddenly going over onto the balcony. It was silent for a moment and Ino watched with interest, waiting patiently.
There was a very good answer for that. But one she could not speak about. She wanted no one to know of Sasuke's attack for the only reason that it would find it's way back to Naruto. And that she couldn't have. So she gave a copout reply "Because he reminds me too much of the old Sasuke."
"That's because he is Sasuke."
She shook her head, "Iie. The Sasuke we knew is dead, Ino."
"Do you truly believe that?"
"I do."
"And you haven't told Naruto this?"
"I tried. He won't listen to me. And a part of me doesn't want him to. Naruto has this weird ability to find the good in people that normal humans can't."
"So then…" Ino bit her lip, preparing herself for whatever response Sakura would have for her next statement, "You're not really over him at all."
Sakura giggled turning to Ino with a smile. "I'm in love with a dead man, Ino. All he is, is a shell. There's nothing wrong with having a bit of hope that Sasuke will actually return. But I'm not naive anymore. I see it as it is."
Ino stared at her for a long while. Then it was quite obvious what was going on. Sakura was in a state of denial. Years of longing for a man only to find out that he has changed too drastically has left Sakura dumbfounded. The only way she was capable of living was thinking only that the man she loved was dead.
Therefore, Ino did the only thing she could do. She allowed Sakura her delusions, just as everyone was allowing Naruto his.
--
TenTen shut her eyes with a sharp annoyance, gripping tight to the blade she was polishing. The drunken sound of Lee's loud, high-pitched voice filtered through the fusuma that separated them. "Come out, my darling rosebud, I wish to see you again." He cried pathetically. TenTen cursed whoever made him take a sip of alcohol. But then again, they were probably regretting it themselves considering.
Internally she knew how she was acting was pitiable. TenTen found she was unable to look upon herself in the mirror without feeling disgust. Part of her rationalized that she was going through some sort of emotional disturbance, the only reason for her weaknesses as of late. The other part, the one she struck repeatedly with a kunai told her her emotions for the Hyuuga had run deeper then she had wanted them go. And now, she was piteously heartbroken.
She gave an aggravated growl, scrubbing fiercely on the weapon in her hands.
If it wasn't for the training, TenTen swore she would have gone insane by now. Hours and hours she trained with the young man, Touya, she met at the dance. It surely kept her mind off things and kept her away from the Hyuuga.
TenTen only found herself here because Touya was injured earlier today. Though it was her fault, she felt no guilt from it. He should have been concentrating more on her sword then on her body.
"TenTen!" His whiny voice caught off her thoughts and she glared at the door, holding still her blade that she desired to throw. She could just see him leaning face first against the wall with a river of tears flowing down his cheeks.
If he stopped being so over protective of her, she would gladly spend time with him. She missed the old Lee terribly. However, she knew if she opened that door the first words out of his mouth would be 'Did you eat? How are you feeling? Have you been sleeping?' That made her want to throw up and it instantly crushed whatever need she had for her friend.
Her mind shifted to Neji. A man she only spared brief glances to because she wished to see if the separation hurt him. His face was as emotionless as it always was and those damned eyes of his never allowed any information to leak. She was stupid to think that her distance would affect him.
But then memories of their intimacies would flash before her eyes and she could only think that he does care. Somewhere. He had to have cared at some point. His touch was too gentle, his eyes too soft, and his words so easily interpreted. There was something deeper between them. Yet he was willing to just throw it aside like a bothersome blanket.
When she thought back to how he used to be, she could see something like this happen. She wouldn't be so shocked to being thrown away. But the fact was he had changed. He stopped being a selfish, rude, inconsiderate bastard he had been when they were younger. And turned into the man she had rightly fallen for.
Sakura said she was blind but Sakura didn't know Neji as well as she did. Him doing everything for his clan and disregarding rational actions, that was the way he was. And she knew that! Then why did this surprise her like a trap in the middle of the forest?
"TenTen, onegai!"
"Usse!" She screamed back, throwing a kunai at the door. But the sounded hadn't been what she expected. TenTen hurried off the bed, knocking over several weapons in the process and landed on her knees at the door. She ripped the knife from the door and snapped the screen back. Lee sat there with a hand upon his green spandex suit, right under his collarbone. "Oh, kuso, Lee."
He sobered up quick enough, grimacing when she lifted his hand revealing the small wound, blood gushing from the hole. "Do not stress, TenTen. It's not healthy."
"Uhg, would you stop it already. Lie down." Heads popped from the living room, glancing down her way.
"What happened?" Temari questioned.
TenTen shook her head noticing Neji was not there. "It's okay. He's fine." She assured, trying to push him down to lie on the floor. However, he refused grasping her hand.
"You need your strength. I'll get Sakura or Ino to heal it."
"I'll do it." Ino offered taking a step down the hallway.
TenTen shot her cold gaze, "I can do it. I didn't learn how to heal wounds like this for nothing."
He held his shoulder tight to get the bleeding to stop but it just dripped through. She tried her hardest to get her hand from his other but he refused to let her heal it. "Have you eaten?"
"Damn it, Lee." She snapped to her feet and slammed the door shut. TenTen listened to his footsteps fall away and slid to the floor with her back against the screen.
Why was he doing this? Why couldn't he just be the friend he had always been? Who, when he wasn't around Neji or Gai, was an amazing person to talk with. He always understood and always had advice. And whenever she needed him, he came running with a positive energy that immediately soaked into her pores.
Lee was different and Neji was leaving her behind, and Gai was no where close by. It was impossible to describe how lonesome she was.
When she felt tears in her gaze, TenTen straightened harshly. She did not cry, not over something so stupid. She wasn't hurt, no one was dying, everyone fine. She grabbed several weapons and packed them away before jumping off her balcony. Training would rid her of these negative thoughts because she be damned if she became weak over something so incredibly stupid.
--
Sasuke opened his eyes. No hint of sleep shined in his gaze, no matter how long he had been laying on the floor, motionless. There was no need for sleep in this cell. There was no training to tire him, no searching to depress him, only massive amounts of time to waste away. He swore to himself that the next person that comes down, he'd capture them with his gen-jutsu and get free from this hellhole.
His black eyes roamed up to the small air pocket. He was unable to see the moon but the brightness was thick telling him it was almost full. Which meant if he didn't find out the information he needed within the next week, it was going to be too late.
Two weeks in captivity. Somehow, it felt so much longer then that.
Two weeks and no information had leaked. He should have realized Orochimaru would have lied to him. It hadn't been uncommon considering. But Sasuke had looked on with his Sharigan eyes and there had been no betrayal in his gaze. Then again, Orochimaru had always been hard to read.
Sasuke sighed for the sixth time within ten minutes. His body was draining of power he knew. But it had been a sacrifice he was ready to give if it meant finding Itachi. He just hadn't thought it would take this long and still he was far from reaching him after all this time.
Rage filled him nearly instantly upon his brother's name just as it always did. And knowing that he was trapped and unable to pursue only increased his agitation. The beating of his heart pounded in his ears but within a five second time span the beats decreased to nearly nonexistent. The symbols on his skin made him too tired to be angry. Sadly, peace was the only thing his heart wanted. Peace would bring such blissful sleep and nightmares would no longer threaten every second his eyes shut.
It was impossible to be in this cell and not feel the weight of despair. Three years of searching for the one man that destroyed everything had been fruitless. And now that he had all this power, power that rivaled all of the Akatsuki members. he was still incapable of avenging his clan.
He heard the footsteps and sat up weakly with his back resting against the wall, preparing to store whatever chakra he could. It caused the most severe pain considering the seals upon his skin but he ignored it the best he could. "Oi." Naruto's voice sounded and Sasuke breathed out, releasing the power with barely recognizable relief. The pain now eased away with his chakra. "I thought I'd take a chance and see if you were awake." Sasuke heard the man sigh heavily and he gazed over to him, watching Naruto's body drape down the railing until he rested on the ground. His legs were spread out, his hands resting between them. A defeated position compared to the normal stance Naruto always held. "I can't sleep either." He confessed. "They're having a party for whatever reason."
Naruto watched the ground for long silent minutes but somehow being with Sasuke eased the severe troubles boiling within him. Waking up to a nightmare had only been the start. Before he had left the large apartment, he had tried to speak with Sakura. But standing in the room with her, the awkward stillness between them had only caused more stress and aggravation. She had refused to look at him and gave him short simple responses. When his temper got to him and he nearly begged her to see Sasuke, Kiba had walked into the room. Defeat was not an easy feeling to cope with.
"Sometimes," Sasuke knit his brow when Naruto rested his hand upon his stomach, "This bijuu, comes in my dreams. He says things. Promises things. They sound so good when he says them." Sasuke rested his hand on his own cursed seal feeling it burn darkly beneath his fingertips.
After several moments of silence, Sasuke brought his gaze back to Naruto. The boy's fingers now dug deep into the seal. His fingers clenching so terribly hard his knuckles turned white. "But he's a liar." Naruto bit, hatred pouring out between clenched teeth.
Quite past between them and Sasuke's attention fell to the wall before him. He gripped his shoulder, his curse flaring with the familiar pain. Never did a minute go by that the pain ever lessened, it was always there, reminding him that freedom was never his. Reminding him that though his very own hands had killed Orochimaru, the clutches that snake still had on him were as deadly as ever.
His black eyes glanced back to Naruto. He had never fully realized what kind of monster laid dormant inside Naruto. It was weird to know that they shared the same kind of demon. And maybe comforting knowing that neither of them had chosen to be what they've become. "I--" Naruto began again, blindly staring at the ground. "I hurt Sakura-chan, Sasuke." He admitted almost apologetically, his blue eyes lifting momentarily to catch his own. Sasuke flinched darting his eyes away, clenching his teeth together.
He just missed the only opportunity he'll get. Why didn't he take it?
"This damn bijuu used me and I hurt her." Sasuke rested his head back against the wall, now staring up at the ceiling. He was frustrated not only with himself but with Naruto as well. Why was he here? Sasuke had no answers for him and yet it appeared Naruto was here for them.
It was odd, however. He never thought Naruto would ever be the cause of Sakura's pain. Only himself. It was somehow reassuring that even the great Uzumaki Naruto could hurt someone. "Oi, Sasuke?"
"Hn." He found himself replying without meaning too.
"How'd you kill Orochimaru?"
Sasuke shut his eyes in remembrance.
-
"You are being so impatient today, Sasuke-kun." Orochimaru stepped into the dark room of the empty jail ward. "That was no way to treat a guest."
Sasuke looked on with carelessness. "Teach me a new jutsu." He demanded again.
Orochimaru smirked, "This body is too weak. You are taking too long to find Itachi. I will need my new container soon. So instead, I will tell you how to find him. If you think you are ready."
Sasuke took an unconscious step forward, "Tell me." Orochimaru chuckled with devious excitement.
-
Sasuke answered, "While you fought him, it distracted him enough to not feel his original body."
"Original body?"
"His first body was preserved and that was where his real heart resided. While you fought him, I destroyed the real one. And therefore no longer making him immortal."
Naruto blinked with wide bright eyes, "That easy, huh?" He smiled, "You're pretty powerful, now, right Sasuke?" the male didn't wait for an answer, "So you didn't leave for nothing." Naruto had whispered almost with great relief, "I'm glad it worked out for you."
Sasuke closed his eyes and listened to him stand. Naruto whispered, "I'll come and see you tomorrow and hopefully Sakura will come too. She wants to see you, she's just really busy." A subtle lie that Naruto kept telling him. His footsteps faded down the hallway until it was silence once again.
A smirk appeared softly, unnoticeably on his lips. Naruto was still the same.
--
Sakura climbed the large sand dune, her bare feet sinking repeatedly with each step she took and by the time she got to the peak, she was a little winded. TenTen laid on the very top staring at the billions of brightly lit stars in the sky. "I finally found you." Though she had asked Neji for a bit of direction first, which had been awkward considering the reason she was looking for TenTen in the first place.
Sakura took a seat beside her but the woman paid her no mind. She looked down at her, "What are you thinking about?" TenTen shook her head giving her no other response. Sakura bit her lip, "I've been meaning to talk to you about something." The brown eyes looked to her in response. "Two months ago, the last time I saw you, your chakra seemed different. Now being around you all the time for this mission, I noticed it again. So I did some research about Chakra disturbances. So I don't know if you know it not. But I believe you might be pregnant."
TenTen's snapped her head in Sakura's direction, her eyes now wide and stricken with fear, "Iie. You're wrong." She got out with breathless disbelief. Panic forced her to her feet and she held her head momentarily before she paced frantically.
Sakura smiled sadly, "Gomen, TenTen. But I'm pretty sure."
The woman stalled so abruptly Sakura thought something struck her. And something did, mentally. TenTen stared down at Sakura and whispered with faltering resolve, "I have to get rid of it."
"TenTen--"
"I'm not that type of person. I can't be."
"I think you should talk to Neji."
Upon his name the fear she felt faded and anger replaced it. "Screw that. He's marrying someone, Sakura."
"Nani?"
"Yeah, ain't that a bitch." She sarcastically smiled but the moonlight showed how painful that information was for her. "That's why he's been walking away from me so much. Why he's avoided me for the past few months. His clans making him marry and he's not going to fight it."
Sakura lowered her eyes so the weapon's mistress wouldn't see her disappointment. She thought Neji was the perfect one in the group. And yet he was proving to be just as flawed. She shook her head, "You still need to tell him. He's part of this."
"Part of what?" Kiba nearly reached the summit of the sand dune by the time they took notice of him. Akamaru had run to get there first and now nudged Sakura for her attention. "You left in a hurry. Akamaru wouldn't stop bothering me till I said we'd come check." He took a seat beside her and finally questioned, "What's wrong?" Sakura looked up to TenTen and TenTen looked down to her. However, the woman only shrugged, knowing Sakura would just tell Kiba later.
"Keep this quiet, okay."
"Hai."
"TenTen's pregnant."
He made a sound before getting out, "Oh, kuso." He whispered childishly to himself which caused both female's to look at him. He turned his head begrudgingly behind him where Neji stood at the bottom looking up. His mouth agape indicating that he had managed to hear just what had been said.
TenTen did the only thing she could think of. She ran hard and fast and without faltering one foot. Neji caught Sakura's gaze and she nodded, answering the question he did not put out there. He instantly chased after her.
Sakura looked to Kiba with a soured face, glaring hot daggers at him. "Why didn't you tell me he followed you!?"
Defensively he held up his hands, "How was I supposed to know you were going drop that bombshell? I thought you all knew already."
"You've known?"
"I can pretty much smell anything."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"It's none of my business. I did find it weird that she was still going on missions. But I didn't think it was my place."
"Geez, Kiba, sometimes you act just like Naruto. No, you know what, I take that back. Sometimes you act just like a stupid boy" Sakura stomped away from him.
Kiba looked up to Akamaru, "I go through the trouble of getting Neji to come with me so maybe we could force them to talk to each other, and this is what I get? Joshi." Akamaru sneezed in agreement.
--
"TenTen, yamette." Neji jumped harshly over rooftops, ducking and dodging street signs and laundry lines with blinding speed yet TenTen was not slowing. With his bloodline activated, he watched every step she took to make sure no danger presented itself in her fast clumsy pace. When a gap approached, he pushed his chakra into his feet, springing him far forward and crashed into her. He twisted their bodies so that he was on the bottom when they landed harshly on the sandy road in the middle of a dark alleyway. She was quick to fight against him, jumping off instantly. He grabbed her foot only to dodge the katana that she threw directly at his arm, releasing her in the process.
He was surprised however when she didn't take to the skies again. She stood still, panting heavily with her back to him. He pushed himself from the floor and stared at her. His eyes lowering to the bottom of her back, forcing his activated eyes to look through her. However, he was still unable to see anything. With unsure steps, he came up behind her. A hand rose but dropped just as quickly. He had no right to touch her, he reminded himself. Besides, she might just bolt again if he does.
"Don't worry." Taking a few steps away from him. "I'll get rid of it so it doesn't interfere with your new marriage." She bit so harshly he was taken back by her demeanor.
"Get rid of it?" He questioned.
"Isn't that what you want?" She turned to face him, her features hard and unrestrained with rage. "So I don't taint your 'oh so precious' bloodline? Because I'm just a convenient whore." TenTen turned away from him. She knew she was being irrational which is the reason he didn't say anything. She shut her eyes in aggravation for herself.
"This changes things, TenTen." He stated as if it was an obvious fact and yet even he had no clue what would change or how it would change but somehow it changed everything.
"It changes nothing." She fought weakly shaking her head. "Just because I'm…" Her eyes went down to her stomach but she darted them away "..of this thing inside me, doesn't change how much of coward you are. If you can't face your family by yourself, don't hide behind this. I refuse to be the one you blame when your clan turns their back on you." She faced him only because her heart was pounding so brutally in her own fear she needed some comfort. His eyes always gave her that. "But if you think for one moment, that I'm going to be your secret, you are sadly mistaken. I will not sit idly by and wait for you in the dark while you pretend to be happy with someone else. I won't be part of that life."
He was getting angry she could tell. Not by any outward appearances, only the dullness of his large lavender eyes gave it away. "What do you want me to do, TenTen?"
She smiled and shook her head, "Nothing you can't do. " She turned her back, "Everything you won't." She was gone again, however this time he made no move to go after her.
Neji's back numbly hit the wall and he slid down until he rested on the ground. His lavender eyes stared constantly at the dagger that was embedded in the sand more confused then he's ever been in his entire life.
Sakura slammed the door with an aggravated growl but stalled the moment all eyes were on her from the living room. She glared daggers stomping harshly into the room and grabbed the battle of sake before taking a quick swig. She slammed it on the table. "So what are we playing?" They laughed and made room for her at the table. She took notice of Naruto who softly smiled at her. His visit with Sasuke must have eased him somehow. He seemed better compared to the hour prior when he had left her room. She smiled hoping he understand an apology. When he nodded just barely, she beamed at him.
Lee moved his game board piece before he questioned her. "Where's TenTen?"
She smiled softly, biting her lip, "I think she needs some time alone."
"Maybe she's finally figured it out." Shikamaru yawned, taking his turn at rolling the dice.
Sakura's eyes widened when nearly everyone besides Temari and Naruto nodded in agreement. Her attention was distracted when Kiba entered the house, meeting her eyes but she turned away stubbornly. He growled and made sure to sit on the other side of Shino who now sat uncomfortably between the warring couple.
Naruto's voice sounded, "Figured out what?"
Sakura shook her head as she gazed at them all, "You've all known?" The eight shinobi's nodded.
"Known what?" Again, Naruto pressed and again was greatly ignored.
"How?" She questioned.
Shikamaru first responded, "Since the start of this mission. All the signs were there." Temari tugged on his sleeve, hating being left out and he quickly whispered in her ear.
"Oh, that." She waved a hand, "Knew the moment I saw her."
("Knew what?")
"He told me." Ino told her. She was currently sitting on the other side of Shikamaru and was glaring over at the woman. However, no one saw this but Sakura. Choji nodded in agreement with her.
("told you what?")
Sakura moved her gaze to Shino. "My bugs."
"My sense of smell." Kiba added, though knowing she knew all ready, he just didn't want to be left out of the group like Naruto (Which watching the man squirm was very entertaining at the moment).
"Her Chakra reading changed a while ago." Hinata whispered, her greatest desire now was to reach Naruto and whisper to him what everyone was refusing to tell him. He frowned more pronounced when she spoke and he glared at her from his position. His lip stuck out almost childishly. Her cheeks blushed furiously and she glanced down to the floor.
"Gai-Sensei told me before we left."
"How did he know?"
"Tsunade-sama."
"Why didn't anyone tell her?"
("Tell who what?" Naruto's voice now taking on his aggravated tone.)
Shikamaru shrugged. "Thought she knew. Plus, it's really none of our business."
Kiba pointed and glared at Sakura, proving his line of reasoning. She gripped his hand that was in front of Shino's face and moved it to point at Shikamaru, "Boy." She merely stated. He ripped his hand away and folded his arms in exasperation promptly turning his back to lean against his dog with an aggravated growl.
"Since we're speaking about it." Lee began. "Anybody know who the partner is?" He narrowed his gaze darkly when eyebrows were raised in his general direction. He folded his arms, turning his head away trying to hide his blushing cheeks. "TenTen is my teammate; I would never take advantage of that." A few snickers were heard but he shot them a quick glare shutting them up instantly.
Neji stepped into the house then. His brows knit when the group instantly got quiet and all eyes were wide on him but he was too aggravated to be bothered by them. He continued down the hallway and the group waited patiently until they heard the loud slam of his door.
Lee looked to the group that was now staring at him, "Iie. Not possible." Laughter promptly followed.
Sakura smiled and glanced to Kiba who smirked over at her. Then she immediately remembered she was mad at him and swiftly turned her head away, crossing her arms. He mimicked her, grumbling to himself.
Next Chapter Sakura and Sasuke finally face each other and Sound finally makes their move.
Joshi- Women