A normal life? An apple pie life? Even with Lisa and Ben a normal, non hunting life was something Dean Winchester never saw himself living. There was no escape from this living hell. Everyday he was forced to look in the mirror and see the man he was not. He may be Ben's father, and he loved Lisa but living a normal family life was not in his future. The only thing, and it ripped what was left of his soul apart, but the only thing that kept him in this apple pie life was his promise to Sam. It had been three weeks and he could do nothing but think of Sam 24/7. He tried to be a family man but it was just going through motions.
Sam was suffering for an eternity in the pit and as long as Dean lived he would suffer too. Maybe it was time to join his brother in hell. But his promise to his pain in the ass baby brother kept him alive, if this existence could be called life. One thing was certain, until he got his head around the fact Sammy wasn't coming back he was no good to anyone. He knew Lisa would understand why he couldn't stay but he promised to come back once he had worked through his issues. She had understood and with a sad smile had bid him farewell for now.
"Hey Bobby," his gruff voiced was a welcome to the older hunter.
"Dean! Good to hear from you! Where are you?"
"Leaving Indiana. I need something to hunt. Got any leads?"
"Yeah, I'm heading to Red Springs, Arkansas right now. They've got a major Sidhe outbreak. Several hunters are there already and they're reporting back that the Sidhe are almost impossible to take out. Want to kick a little Sidhe ass?"
"Hell yes," and the sound of the Impala revving her motor was the last thing Bobby heard before the phone went dead.
Sam had methodically researched everything he could about the Sidhe and was well prepared to take on the bitches. The first hunt without his brother, he wasn't looking forward to it. Dean had always been there and now Dean was fulfilling his promise to him, to live an apple pie life even though it was not Dean's life. He was both sad and happy that Dean had lived up to his promise. Sad because it meant that Sam would never see his brother again, but happy that Dean had grown up and let him grow up and make his own decision. Somewhere deep down inside Sam knew that Dean wouldn't stay Mr. Mom but that didn't matter. What mattered was that Dean had someone to look after him, two people to care for. And if Dean began to heal Lisa and Ben would be the ones to do help him. Still didn't stop him from missing his brother. As he loaded the 79 Chevy truck and headed to Red Springs, Arkansas all he could think about was Dean.
The trip was hell without his big brother but Sam had to let Dean go. Gabriel had been right when he said that Dean was Sam's weakness. How could Sam, even though he had wanted to burst in that night he saw Dean eating with Lisa and Ben, come between Dean's life? He had always come between Dean and the life Dean wanted, hell deserved to live. Of course he wasn't fooling himself in thinking Dean was alright, he knew his brother wasn't alright and wouldn't be but things had to be this way. Sam had to give Dean a chance at a normal life without having to take care and look out for his baby brother. They had both grown up and now it was Sam's turn to play the role of protector.
He had to let Dean go and pray to god that Dean wouldn't start hunting again and that they wouldn't run into each other. But something inside of Sam wanted that chance meeting. Dean would kick his ass for putting him through unimaginable torture but Sam would welcome it as long as they were back together. There was always hope but unless fate intervened Sam was not going to let Dean know he was back from the pit, 100% Sam Winchester, with a 10% improvement.