Author's Note: Okay I know it took me forever!! I'm sorry but I really had problems with this chapter. I thought about doing a "Three months later" thingy but I thought that would be unfair. I hate it that many writers make Sakura joining the team seem so easy, like she's going to be instantly accepted and best friends with everyone on the team. It's going to be a LOT harder for her in my story. She's going to suffer. But it's causing me writer's block. So sorry again.

Complete Hollow-Good call on the catfight-lol

Neko- There won't be another lemon for a while but there will definately be one, I've already got it written lol

Lady Lillian- I completely agree with you, Sakura is such a traitor, but in her defense, she's in love with him, who he has killed or kills doesn't matter to her.

Raina- I know my stories need work, and if I had time I would definately get a Beta but I've tried that before and it didn't work out. I get these chapters out late already. By adding a Beta it would take twice as long. I'm sorry about the horrible mistakes, i'll try and keep them to a minimum.

And 100 REVIEWS-- Freaking awesome! Thank you!

Chapter 24 Fade

I only know that I can change, Everything else just stays the same

--

He had misunderstood.

Naruto stood at the edge of the riverbank, watching the fish swim in their ignorant world. He held in his left hand both his teammates' insignias tight.

He had not realized just what Sakura had been trying to tell him this whole time. That despite what she said and how she had acted, she was still completely in love with Sasuke.

Things hadn't really changed. Time moved on, seasons came and went, and people grew older and mature, but realistically, nothing changed. He hadn't changed. He was still as naïve as ever, living in a fantasy world where everything works out for the best. Where people want help and where people are honest with themselves as well with others.

If he had opened his eyes even once while Sasuke was here, he would have noticed Sakura's loving gaze behind her cold hard glare. And he would have known exactly what Sasuke had been searching for. Information on Itachi. What else reason was there?

Now because of his denial, he was alone. Teamless and without friend to confide in.

Nothing had changed.

--

Neji finally found her. She had fled far from the team, out of his range of sight which he knew she did on purpose. But lucky for him, he knows her inside and out. She would head to the widest open field she could find to gaze upon the sky to watch birds fly. He remembered her comment from almost two years ago. "It's the only girlie thing I'll ever admit." Her cheeks had been red and she had refused to meet his gaze. That was back before things had gotten so complicated.

His footsteps were heard in the long grass. Neji analyzed her movements wanting to catch anything that would help him figure out what exactly it was she was feeling. She sat up, her back was to him, her hands were on her face but he couldn't tell the reason for it. "Please, Neji. Leave me alone." She whispered, clearing her voice.

"I left you alone for the past four hours. We're heading back to Konoha."

"I'll catch up later."

"It's too dangerous." She was being difficult like he knew she would be. There weren't many times they argued since he was a man of little words and she could normally understand and deal with everything. But he couldn't let her deal with this alone. He needed her to know that this effected him too. Somehow, he had to get her to see that.

"Neji, go. Please." He narrowed his brows as he heard her beg pitifully.

He knew his words would have to be selective. Her chakra readings indicated that she was ready to bolt at any minute. He stepped closer till his feet nearly touched her backside, still standing behind her, a pathetic attempt at giving her comfort he didn't really know how to give. "I had a name." Her shoulders flinched and her head lowered to gaze at her lap. "Hizashi. After my otosan."

TenTen's brows knit terribly. Despite his desire to help or comfort, that had only brought more agony. She wondered when he would realize that it had been all her fault. It had been her fault for staying, her fault for denying help. Her fault for thinking she was strong enough to protect both of them. And now because of her, she killed her child. It was only a matter of time before he figured that out. She didn't want to be around when it hit him. TenTen swallowed harshly, "What if." She whispered, clearing her throat again. "What if it had been a girl?"

She was talking back. He sighed, relief washed over him. "You would pick."

TenTen lightly laughed, bitterly in seemed to Neji and he saw her wipe her face again. His brows knit, hating the fact that she was crying, probably just as much as she did. "Guess we don't have to worry about that."

She was pulling back, pulling away from him. "TenTen--"

"It doesn't matter. Things will go just the way you planned. You'll go back and get married and I'll fade into the background."

"I'll find someway." His fists tightened. He was going to try and keep her from running by admitting something he surely did not want to. "I would like to stay with you."

TenTen shook her head, her hands gripping her hair tight, "I can't do this." She whispered standing up, preparing to leave but his grip on her arm stalled her. TenTen turned to him, her tears now so obvious he faltered in his shock, "I can't." She confessed before quickly ripping out of his grasp and vanished.

He activated his Byakugan but his mind was laid to rest when he noticed her heading back to the campsite. He brought his attention back to the empty field, and gazed up at the soaring birds above, hoping to find the answer to whatever he needed to do to defy fate.

--

Sakura, despite standing with a straight back meeting each pair of eyes with a bright and dangerous determination, was screaming of fear beneath. Sasuke had said nothing and done nothing upon entering the dark rooms of the cave leaving her to explain her sudden appearance to his team. For the past hour they were discussing whether or not to kill her while eating their breakfast giving her little attention.

Her glance drifted to Sasuke who sat eating peacefully, watching the wiggling of the fire. The sight of him only reminded her why exactly she was standing before this group of peers. It strengthened her nearly tenfold

Her gaze now back on the pair at the table. The woman with bright red hair and gorgeous red eyes caught her sight daringly. She pushed at her black rimmed glasses and flicked her long hair over her shoulder. "She'll slow us down."

"I won't."

"Wasn't talking to you, girl." Her red gaze darted over to Sasuke and with a 'hm' squeak of indignation grabbed a water case and sat beside him. Sakura smiled only slightly noticing how Sasuke didn't even shift his eyes in acknowledgement.

"Well." Sakura's attention pushed back to the male just now rising to his feet. His sharp fangs barred in a bright, intimidating smile. Her glare darkened, brutally remembering how quick he had been to slash Ino's neck and how he had smiled doing it. Her hatred was bright and she used that to strengthen her stance. He walked around her, a bit too close, and she shivered upon feeling his breath on her skin, "This should be interesting."

A sharp nailed finger touched her cheek but she was quick to slap it away, "Don't touch me."

Suigetsu growled viciously quickly grabbing a handful of hair in his other hand and pulling her head back painfully. Sakura didn't make a sound, "You are not with your kind anymore, sweetheart. No one here will save you. So watch what you say and watch what you do." Her emerald eyes rolled to Sasuke. Suigetsu chuckled against her ear, "Lie to yourself all you want. Just don't be shocked when he runs his blade across your pretty little neck." He shoved her away making her scramble for the table to keep herself from falling.

Karin's and Suigetsu's laughter was annoying asset to them both but Sakura ignored it. Her gaze went to Sasuke, still unperturbed.

A momentarily thought ran through her head: What kind of people had he surrounded himself with?

Yet as she watched him, he placed his bowl down. "Let's go." Her brows knit the moment their laughter shut off. They snapped to attention, grabbing their weapons and items off the floor. The giant beast Jugo that had been sitting in the corner playing with a small mouse, softly set it down and finally lifted his gaze to her. He nodded once in greeting then stood as well following Sasuke out of the room.

"Where?" Sakura questioned, dumbly. She scolded herself.

Suigetsu turned to her with a vicious smile, "To hunt."

--

Sakura didn't think she could last. Two hours, running at a speed she hadn't known she could travel without one break in between. She would have given up after the first fifteen minutes if that woman's voice hadn't been repeating in her head. "She'll slow us down." Whiny and annoying it kept pushing her up and beyond her limits. She could no longer feel the pain in her legs or the burning in her lungs but exhaustion was quickly creeping up on her.

And though she wished to think about everything, wished to talk to Sasuke, to find out things about him, and his connection with these three other members, thinking at the moment was not an option. Any run-in with a tree and it would end her life at the speed they were traveling. She couldn't risk a single beat in her concentration.

"Enough." A order from ahead startled her. Sakura hitched her breath as she prepared herself to grab a hold of the next tree branch. Her fingers were numb for the lack of use but she dug her nails painfully into the bark nearly breaking the tree she landed upon. Panting, she quickly felt the gut-wrenching burn from her lungs. She looked around, hoping that somehow she wasn't the only one lacking of breath only to find them all stoic and expressionless focused on Sasuke at their center. "We'll camp here."

"Why didn't we just stay at the cave? It fucking freezing out here." Suigetsu complained.

"Because of that little wench." Karin pointed to her crossing her arms over her chest to try and keep warm. "The rest of that damn bunch could have followed her. But I don't feel anyone yet. And I highly doubt they can find us now."

"Jugo, firewood. Suigetsu-"

"I know, put up the tents. Why the hell do I always have to put up the damn tents?" He grumbled and mumbled to himself, dropping from the tree to the snowy floor beneath.

Sasuke's gaze drifted to Karin, "Look out."

She smiled pleasantly, "Of course." Karin went to step but stalled looking back at Sakura whose green gaze was on her leader. With a slight glare of indignation she called, "Make yourself useful. Get us some food."

Though it was meant to be an insult Sakura took it as a chance to be part of the very distant group. "Hai." And she jumped down to make her way through the woods to find an isolated location.

It was a chance now to actually think. Her body still hurt and her breath and heart rate hadn't calmed a bit but she was now capable of forming a thought. She used the tree trunks to keep her legs straight, she feared at any moment they would give out from under her. But Sakura would be damned if she showed any sign of weakness.

When she felt she was far enough away however, she sagged against the bark and landed roughly in the wet snow mindless to the cold.

Sakura now felt the whole weight of her sudden decision on leaving her village. She had left it for nothing. For absolutely no good reason.

She had been remarkably stupid to think she could help Sasuke. His level of power, speed, and intelligence had far outweighed hers. What power did she possess that he would ever need?

Sakura had taken advantage of Tsunade's teaching, learning everything she could to be the best damn hearler and it took three years to accomplish that goal. Sasuke watches with his Sharingan eyes for two minutes, and now probably knows just as much as she.

She smiled however. This must have felt very similar to what Naruto had experienced when they were younger. It was nice to have that comparison. It made her feel accomplished.

Sakura switched her mind to Karin. The woman was so obviously infatuated with Sasuke and Sasuke was so obviously careless to that fact. But he had been the same with her and still felt something for her. Did that mean something? Did he feel anything for that woman?

She had to face the fact that it was a possibility. Sasuke was eighteen for Kami's sake it was an improbability that he stayed celibate these past three years. Despite his constant training he still had desires.

Her eyes shut on that thought. Desires…Kami how well she had known his desires. His touch, his breath, his skin, his scent, everything that she had forced her mind to forget was still ever so sharp recalling them. .

Sakura snapped her eyes open and pinched her skin hard on her arm, wincing at the pain.

She was no longer a child. Fantasying was not acceptable. If she wanted to help Sasuke she would have to do away with any feelings of lust toward him. From now on, it was just friendship that had been strained over the years. She must fix the distance between, work slow, and concentrate only on his needs, and do away with her own personal issues.

That's why she had left, she reminded herself harshly. She had abandoned her village to help heal his heart. She possessed all the love he would ever need, and only she could fix the broken organ still beating inside him.

It was much easier getting to her feet now. She knew what she had to do and doing it would not be a problem. Sasuke had been more distant, more closed off when they were kids. She would find a way to help him and then hopefully, bring him home.

---

By the time she got back to camp with two deer dragging behind her, the camp with in full swing. Four tents and a fire roaring instantly reaching out its heat in greeting. She threw it carelessly to them and sat roughly on the log next to Karin.

Said woman, lifted her lips in disgust, "Took you long enough."

Sakura didn't bother to respond. She needed sleep or she was going to collapse. Her chakra was still not recovered from the healing she gave TenTen and Ino and to her dismay it was finally starting to show. Which apparently Karin noticed for she smiled villainously, "Someone's melting." She giggled.

Sakura looked at her confused, "What are you talking about?"

"You can't hide it girl. Your chakra is as white as this snow."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Hm." Karin rose her chin in superiority crossing her arms over her chest. "I can tell power by the color of your chakra. White is weaker then a baby. You've been Ivory for sometime now but it just dropped."

Sakura was really too tired to figure out what that was suppose to mean so instead she sighed irritably, "I'm going to wash." She stood blocking out the insults spewed at her back and Suigetsu's devious laughter that echoed with it.

Karin didn't take much time deciding to go after her, which she did. "Cut up the meat, won't you, Suigetsu, darling." She mocked sarcastically batting her eyelashes, only to laugh and quickly dodge the senbon thrown at her. She followed the frail little female, her smile only broadening the closer she got. Maybe she could kill the child. That would certainly make her day.

Sakura just dipped her washcloth in the freezing water of the river bank before groaning with dismay, "That meant I wanted to be alone."

Karin folded her arms with an intimidating glare, "Leave."

Sakura's gaze darted to her, "Excuse me?"

"Go away." The female took a step closer which Sakura responded to by standing up. Karin smirked, "You'd stand no chance against me. As I said before. Your chakra is drained. Even if you actually healed, you still wouldn't stand a chance. When you fought before you were a bright green. Another words, weak. And if you think Sasuke needs someone like you, you are pathetically mistaken."

When it clicked, Sakura couldn't help but burst out into a loud and obnoxious display of giggles, dropping to her knees to hold her sides in pain.

Karin's proud demeanor faltered slightly, estranged by the female's blatant disregard to her threat. Anger heightened dramatically and she took several stomping steps forward. "Weren't you listening, ama? I told you to leave."

Sakura mockingly wiped her eyes as if there were tears present, "Oh I heard you. That's why I'm laughing."

Karin was remotely unbothered by the female's response. She was kind of hoping for it. It showed that this woman would fight and that meant she could perhaps cajole her into a battle, and prove to Sasuke how worthless this child really was. "Showing a backbone are you? You weren't so tough when Sasuke shoved that sword through your friend. How's the baby, by the way."

Sakura stiffened drastically, movement stalling ever so quickly. Rage was fastening in her heart and with fisted hands she rose to her full height. She was disheartened to see that this woman was obvious taller then her by a few inches and she had to rise her eyes up. "You knew. You could have told him."

"Oh, he knew." Karin was smiling as she bit her lip with seductive thoughts roaming in her head, "He's a master at evil." She took a step forward again, using her height to her advantage. "You think you know him? Well, I hate to destroy that pretty little bubble world where there's all flowers and butterflies. But whatever life he had before means nothing now."

Sakura shook her head. She really was too tired for this. Sakura knelled down to the water again and dipped in her washcloth, "I'm not here to fight you, Karin. If you want him, you can have him. I'm just a friend."

She narrowed her eyes. Why wasn't the female getting defensive? She wanted a damn fight! "Like I believe that."

"Nothing personal. But I don't care what you believe, or think. I'm here for him. And you and I both know, that if he didn't want me here, I wouldn't be here." And then it dawned on her. With a bright smile Sakura stood and faced the woman, "That's what bothers you the most isn't it? The fact that I'm still here? You're not his one and only anymore." Sakura giggled but for her own safety she moved down stream. She was too weak to get into a fight at the moment and from the looks of things, the woman wasn't too far off from attacking. "I'm not looking for a fight. You can have him if that's what this is about. I'm just a friend."

Karin's nails dug deep into the palms of her hands. Attacking the female wasn't in her best interest but if she could somehow get the woman to attack her, Sasuke would side with her. But her patients was thinning. This woman was evading a battle because she knew she couldn't handle the fight. Which was her key to victory. Karin smiled pleasantly. "You're just acting careless because you're afraid to fight me." She received a bored look but it didn't deter her. "How pathetic can you possible be? Running after a man that ditched you. He probably did it because not only are you ugly and weak, but I imagine it's mighty annoying having you follow him around like--"

Sakura stiffened. The word 'annoying' the only thing that caught any of her attention. How many times had Sasuke called her that fucking word? How many times had it haunted her at night ruining her pleasant dreams of the man she loved. How many times had the night he had left repeated in her head, the word 'annoying' echoing like some psychotic movie.

"-Pinning over a man who didn't give you one thought while he was fucking me-"

Sakura's eyes snapped to the woman. Her attention had come back at the worst possibly moment. And apparently Karin knew it for she smirked wickedly. "I knew that would catch your attention."

"You're lying."

She bit her lip and flipped her hair over her shoulder. Her eyes were closing and her tongue moved out onto the bottom of her lip as she recalled the events in her head, "I can still feel him. How amazing he fucked. He knew just where to touch and just how hard. So rough and passionate-"

Just a blink and Sakura startled at the sight now presented before her. Sasuke's hand was wrapped tight around Karin's neck and her body was hung in mid air. Her feet kicked in desperation, her nails clawed at his fingers. His arm was stretched up and he seemed unbothered by the struggling body he held effortlessly. His gaze was brutally upon the woman in his grasp. "I told you to never mention that again." He threw her carelessly to the floor, never taking his sight off her while she coughed and heaved clenching her neck protectively.

She lifted her red eyes, "You don't need her, Sasuke-sama."

"You are to follow orders or leave, Karin."

Sakura's brows knit. She wondered what orders he had given them. Perhaps it had been a silent one she had not figured out till now. By allowing her to stay with him, he had silently stated that she was now a part of the group. That's why they hadn't killed her.

"You need me." Karin whispered.

"I need no one."

"You need me to find Itachi."

"You've been searching for six months. Apparently you are useless."

Karin shook her head and for a moment Sakura thought that the woman was going to cry. Her eyes were watering and she stayed upon the dirt floor seemingly in denial about Sasuke's dismissive attitude. Sakura could feel the pity rise in her heart. She remembered that position all too well. She wished to reach out and help but she knew better then to make any move at all.

A few moments past until finally Karin's strength seemed to regain itself. She stood strong and unhurt, glaring, "If you think you can find him by yourself then go ahead. I don't care." She vanished.

Sakura eyes drifted to Sasuke but he was already walking in the other direction. She sighed tiredly. So much for making friends.

hope it was good enough for ya. thanks for your patients!