Yay! sorry don't hate me.

Chap 32-Realize

If you just realized what I just realized then we'd be perfect for each other then we'd never find another. Just realized what I just realized we'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other.

Kiba sat out on a bench near the entrance of the Hyuuga section, waiting perhaps for fate to make it's decision. If she came from between those doors between nine (now) and six in the morning then it was destiny telling him it was time to let her know his feelings. Akamaru was stretched out at his feet, snoring away. He had given up two hours ago and decided that sleep was the next best thing. Kiba was fine with it. This was something he had to do on his own anyway.

He had tried to say goodbye to his mother but as always she wouldn't let him. She said her usually line of 'Don't fail' and 'make this clan proud'. Despite her unusual distance for a mother, she was the best he could ever ask for. And perhaps when she shifts through his stuff while he's away, she'll find the note he left for her, just in case he doesn't make it back.

Kiba shifted. His butt was going numb. He stared up to the sky but the stars weren't visible due to overcast. He sighed again. He almost nudge Akarmaru awake to help with the boredom when a body jumped down from the wall.

Kiba snapped to his feet to fight but stopped short upon finding Hinata wide-eyed staring at him. "Kiba-kun?" She whispered surprised.

"Where-" He didn't want to know where she was going. He wanted only to explain everything to her now while he has the chance. Letting this opportunity pass would be the biggest regret of his life. "Hinata. I need to talk to you."

"Oh." She looked behind her, then passed him toward the end of the road. "Um. Okay."

"Alright." He grabbed her arm and led her over to the bench. Whether Akarmaru really didn't wake or was faking, Kiba didn't care. He sat her down, keeping hold of her hand so he wouldn't lose his nerve. "I've been meaning to tell you-"

Ino had somehow managed to get Temari away from Shikamaru. Call it sneaky but she likes to be called a ninja. She had snuck a letter in that had Temari going across town. Should be at least ten minutes till she realizes it was a mistake. In the mean time, she pressed on up the hill where Shikamaru was. He laid out underneath the stars. Clouds were heavy but thankfully no rain. It was a beautiful summer night, she wouldn't mind sleeping out here. She imagined for a moment curling up against his side while lying out here and sighed at the pleasant thought. That would have been so wonderful.

Her mission was leaving in seven hours. Right at sunrise. There was only one thing left to do.

"Shikamaru?"

He barely turned his head, "Hn."

Ino couldn't help giggling. She obviously woke him. Knowing that him and Temari were sleeping out here together would have normally soured her mood but she was able to block the female out, so right now it was just him and her.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Ah." He stretched and yawned. He mumbled a curse that he had to actually sit up in order to see her. Perhaps it was the look on her face that gained his interest. "What is it?"

"I have a mission." She explained. No other detail would be given. She knew if anything leaked out about what they had to do, their teams would come to their rescue or stop them from even going in the first place. It had to be secret.

He rolled his eyes in aggravation, "When do we leave?" He stood up, stretching a bit more.

"Just me."

Shikarmaru gave her a skeptic look before stuffing his hands in his pockets, demonstrating he already didn't like where this was going. Ino smiled mostly to herself on how well she knew what each movement of his meant.

"When will you be back?"

Her smile faltered and slowly disappeared. She glanced down, shrugging her shoulders, "Not for a while."

"When do you leave?"

"Stop asking questions! Jeez, you're worse than my okasan!" She received a lopsided smile which she glared at in response. The more he talks the more she was losing her nerve. Her fingers wrung together in anxiety. She was already nervous around him to begin with, saying goodbye rumbled her belly.

Ino took a deep breath.

With both hands she grasped his cheeks and pulled him down to meet her lips harshly.

TenTen stood upon the thick walls of the Hyuuga compound. Her heart was beating fast within her chest as she looked out, searching for the guards that were watching the perimeter. She preyed she wouldn't be caught. She never tried to gain access to this place before. If Neji wanted company, he would always come to her. And he never once asked her over either. It never bothered her. It was too trivial when they had so many things to go up against.

As she stood on the wall, she realized a vital piece of information. She had no clue where Neji would be in this vast space. Searching for him would be impossible with the guards' incredible ability. She would be caught before she even got close.

Not knowing what else to do, she hollered out, "Excuse me!" The guards blinked into existence. She smiled softly. "Could I speak to Hyuuga Neji?"

"This time of night? Can't it wait?"

"Team business." She explained curtly.

They couldn't deny that. Teammates were important despite their blood status. They looked at her with disgust, knowing a mutt when they saw one.

A guard disappeared to retrieve him.

Standing there was awkward. The glare of a stranger's lavender eyes was enough to make her reach for her weapon. She was sure he saw it for his brows widened. She smiled pleasantly, wordlessly telling him to back off. He turned his gaze but somehow she knew, he was still watching.

Neji couldn't have come soon enough. He was wearing a long black kimono. His usual nighttime attire. His hair was unhindered by his insignia and his turquoise curse glowed in the dark. He looked beautiful like that. Her body ached for him again. For months she had denied every part of herself that wanted Neji near. But tonight she had to finish what she started. She had to rid herself of him completely. They would be no future for them. The eyes that glared at her reestablished that.

"TenTen?" He questioned. "Why are you here so late?"

It was only three in the morning. Well, perhaps it wasn't the most appropriate time but as the old saying goes, 'better late than never'. Besides, this morning would be the day of his wedding. The one that he was going through with.

The words she wanted to speak caught in her throat. Hurting him, leaving him, destroying whatever relationship they still had left was worse than any knife to the gut. Her desire wasn't to do any of these things. She wanted to be with him for the rest of her life no matter how short that might be but it wasn't possible. He was too good for her. She failed at protecting an unborn child. What kind of woman was she that she couldn't even do that! Neji needed someone better. Someone that would have his children and know how to do so without getting them killed. Someone that he could be seen in public with and not have to hide. He deserved that.

TenTen looked back at him, with desperation in her eyes while her lips parted. "A select few of us are going on a mission."

"What mission?"

"Doesn't matter. It's just me and two others. It might be a while before we get back."

He grabbed her arm, "We'll talk in private."

TenTen pulled out, "No."

Neji's brows knit. "The ceremony's tomorrow." He whispered harshly but he straightened his back, keeping his composure in front of his clan mates. They were always watching. Even in the dark.

"I know. I'm sorry I'm going to have to miss it." She tried to sound sincere but maybe it was too fake. She was relieved she now had an excuse. Though why Neji invited her was still beyond her. She humored the idea that during the ceremony he was going to instead come to her and show everyone he's with her. Yes, even though she's a tomboy, she has wild fantasies. But she knew the difference. It would have never happened.

"TenTen-"

"Neji." He paused, allowing her to speak despite his anxiousness. She smiled inwardly. Such a gentlemen. "It's time to be realistic, Neji. We're teammates, nothing else. It was stupid to start something. So forget about me. I want you to get married tomorrow and be happy with her."

"No."

Her brows knit in her building impatience and anger. "Why?" She whispered a bit harshly. The guards were still watching in the distance so she had to keep her voice barely audible. "You were so willing to leave before. Well, I'm not pregnant anymore. So just go. Stop punishing me-"

"Punishing you?" His voice was loud compared to her whisper and she faltered at his response.

Her lips parted as she rethought her speech. She wasn't expecting him to fight back. She wasn't expecting him to show any emotion in this at all and yet here he was with question in his lavender eyes. It felt no different than being backed into a corner. In the end, her lack of confidence won out. "I have to go." And she took a step back but Neji gripped her arm once more.

"How am I punishing you? For what? You haven't done anything."

Using her other hand she grabbed at his hold, dread laid in her heart. She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want anything said. She just wanted to go away forever and never have to deal with the pain that waited for her. "Let go." She fought brutally, tears were pricking at her eyes in panic.

Neji's temper was rising. Her pathetic attempts to escape only proved what Hinata had spoken about. For three months he tried to fix whatever had broken between them. He allowed her to live in denial and played the role of 'just friends.' But he was sick of it. Tomorrow he had planned to make everyone in his clan know about TenTen and now she wasn't even going to show? He had waited too long for her to just walk away.

But what she needed, was words. She needed to hear that he was in pain too. She needed to hear that he held no blame. But those words just weren't possible for him to say. That wasn't the type of person he was. So the only step he could and would take, was to show the world that he chose her. Even if it was none of their damned business.

Neji gripped the back of her head and smashed her lips against his.

Sakura had a towel wrapped securely around her as she exited the bathroom. She sighed contently, wringing out her short hair and watching the water drip to the floor. The heat from the shower filled the freezing room but it still wasn't enough to stop her shivering. Sasuke had worked them well into the night with the rain tearing at their flesh but finally he let them go. She had instantly hopped into a steaming hot shower.

She grabbed her bag off the floor and plopped on the bed. All these caves had three vital components. A kitchen, bathrooms, and bedrooms. The mattresses were made of a special foam so they wouldn't rot when unoccupied. She just placed a sheet down and pretended that the mattress didn't smell of dust and it was a great bed to sleep on. Considering the floor was all she had in the tents, she'll take it.

Sakura shifted through the contents, growling in annoyance when she couldn't find her hairbrush. "I know you're in there." She bit before emptying the bag out. Her stuff scattered on the mattress but she smiled upon finding what she was looking for.

She glanced at her pajamas. Rarely ever did she feel secure enough to wear her pajamas. She didn't want Sasuke and the team to suddenly take off during the night and her be stuck in pink bottoms with black little hearts. And sadly enough, it's happened before. She opted for another training outfit, comfortable enough to sleep in.

Sakura sorted through her things, throwing her dirty clothes to be washed later. It was there on the floor her eyes spotted something. With confusion she reached for the small folded paper. Delicately she opened it up and stalled.

It had been so long since she had put this in her pack she had forgotten that she even had it. Her stomach twisted. She looked to the door and she wondered just what she should do.

With a sudden step of confidence, she went out her door and down the hall to stand in front of Sasuke's room. She played with the paper in nervousness, biting her lip, telling herself she should just turn around and not bother with this. She didn't want to upset him and yet, she wanted him to have this. She thought he deserved it.

With that thought in mind, she went to knock but dropped her hand. Now her mind was really playing with her. She didn't want to disturb him. If she could just place this on his nightstand, it would make it that much easier for both of them.

Sakura gripped the doorknob and lightly turned it, preying to Kami it wouldn't squeak as she pushed the door open just enough to peak inside. Sasuke laid with his back toward the door. He was already asleep from the light breathing she heard. A bright fire cracked in the fireplace, the only light there was, illuminating his back while the other side of him was in total darkness.

She stepped in, watching him. His back was bared, a blanket covered only up to his waist, exposing his thin hips. There were numerous scars decorating his shoulder blades and spine but they were well healed up. What caught her attention the most however was the curse. It glowed powerfully and with the fire lighting it, it seemed to wiggle sadistically.

Sasuke laid on his side, a hand looked to be reaching for the curse but coming up just a bit short. Sakura's brows knit with sympathy. She could only imagine how much it hurt him. Many time during training she could see the weakness in all four of them. The moment their aggression became too high, their curse would swirl. It was so painful for them. She had studied as much as she could, grateful that some of Kabuto's medical books had been left behind. But nothing had been revealed.

Sakura found herself with her legs pressed against the side of the bed. She reached down, moving for the curse. If she could just try to heal it, the pain might not be so great.

A hand snatched at her and she pulled back, finding Sasuke dark black eyes glaring at her. He had turned so swiftly around she hadn't even noticed it but he faced her now. "What are you doing here?" He questioned, almost threateningly.

"I..I.." Her voice was lost. Fear clutched her but by licking her lips she managed to recover. "It looked like it hurt." The death grip he held on her wrist softened yet he did not let go.

"It's fine. Do not come in here." He shoved her harshly away and she stumbled to catch her footing.

Sakura turned to run out, her heart was pounding with panic. She hadn't meant to be caught and she hadn't thought of any plan what she would say if she had been. But then the realization of the picture in her hand stalled her.

Sakura faced him again. He had sat up, his chest glistened from sweat from the fire. He moved his hair out of his face. It was an action she barely witnessed. It was such a simple action and yet she remembered Itachi doing so back when she had encountered his body double. It had been the same kind of movement.

Sakura dropped her gaze. How unfair it must be for him to look so similar as his brother. A monster he must see every time he glances in the mirror.

It reinforced her desire for him to have the paper in her hands. She stepped back to the bed. He watched her but there was no threat now. He must not have felt her at first. She would have smiled about that if this moment wasn't important.

Sakura held out the piece of parchment. "I found this. Going through some files." It was a cheep explanation but she didn't want to tell him that she had investigated the whole Uchiha clan.

At first he didn't take it but her stubbornness was obvious and he took it reluctantly. Each unfold seemed for her a decade. She watched his facial expressions for anything she could find, analyzing each movement, each breath, each blink of an eye.

And when the paper was finally full, her breath caught in her throat and her body stiffened drastically. Because just for one, partial, of a second, there had been a special emotion flashing in his gaze.

But he shifted, just slightly so that his long bangs blocked his features from her view. She bit her lip, her tears already forming, her body shaking. "You look just like her." She whispered with a constricted throat. She swallowed harshly but it was too late, the emotion was too strong for her.

A simple, small, barely a whisper at all, "kasan."

That word seemed so foreign coming from his lips but he was lost in the handful of memories that assaulted him. His finger graced the photograph, touching the black hair, the soft pale face. He could finally see her beautiful smile, smell her flower scented perfume, and hear her soft feminine voice. 'Sasuke.' Oh, to hear her voice in his head. To know that his memories of her were still there, just hidden was a relief he didn't think he would ever receive.

Sakura brushed the tear from her cheek. She could never imagine what life must be like for him. If something like that had happened to her she would have never made it through. Maybe that's why she wanted to be with him, that's why she loved him so much. Because no matter of all the horrible things that he has done, and the awful things that he says. At one time in his life, he had been whole, undamaged, undefiled. He had been happy. And if she could bring just one-eighth of that happiness back, her life would be complete.

She lowered her gaze, feeling like she was intruding on something that was very personal. She had only wanted him to have it. Perhaps if she had known it would have effected him like this she would have left it somewhere for him to find on his own.

But despite that, relief poured into her soul and made the tears flow. She had done something that had made him feel. She had found a piece of his heart. It was a feeling she had never experienced before and it was a bit overpowering.

It also made her realize, that she would never be a 'piece of his heart'. A younger version of her would have been shattered by that information but the older her, acknowledges that there is more to life than just Sasuke. There are friends, co-workers, senseis, and men with interest in their gaze. She lived without him for years, adapted by turning to Kiba to heal the broken pieces of her heart. She wanted Naruto to make her life. To make her feel like a great friend and partner despite her abandonment, and it made her yearn for her family who was a piece of her own heart that was missing in her life.

Sakura spun around knowing she should leave, especially with her tears becoming so uncontrolled.

"Sakura."

Taking in a shaking breath and wiping the wetness from her face she turned to him but even then fresh tears dropped down on her cheeks.

His eyes still on the photograph, he folded it back up and for just another second held it in his hand. Then caught her gaze and held it out for her. His onyx eyes dark and void of all emotion. She shook her head, telling him silently that he could keep it but he continued to hold it for her. Reluctantly she took a few steps and grasped it. Her brows knit when he did not let go.

"Why do you cry?" His voice was without interest but the fact that he had asked still effected her more then she wanted it to.

With her free hand she wiped the wetness away but it was fruitless. She tried to laugh but it came out as a sob, "I don't know."

"Do you miss them?" His fingers dropped away but his eyes watched her.

The fact that she was just thinking about them made her lip tremble. "Yes."

Sasuke stood, standing only a few inches away. Sakura sucked in her breath, his chest so close she could see each slow in take of breath. She slowly rose her gaze, connecting with his black orbs. "Return to them, Sakura."

Her brows knit in her misery and she shook her head.

"You do not have to be here."

She shook her head again as more tears from her eyes, "I won't go back."

"They will forgive you."

She clenched her eyes shut, "I don't care."

"What of Naruto? Both of us, leaving him."

Her lids snapped open, staring at the ground, their feet nearly touching. His white pants were baggy on his legs. It was a shock to realize what he was doing. He was trying to make her go away. He didn't want to have a heart, or emotions, or thoughts of the past. He didn't want her for the exact reason that she can effect him even the slightest.

It pissed her off.

The picture fell as she curled her fists and slowly brought her gaze up to meet his. She shook her head in disappointment, "You still don't get it." She whispered. Her hands were quick to grasp his, fingers prying apart his own fingers to flatten out his hand as she rose the appendage to rest against her chest. "Do you feel that?" She questioned ruthlessly, forcing it harshly to stay were it is as he tried feebly to yank away from her. "Do you feel my heart?" She nearly bit, tears dripped on their hands, rolling down. She did not wait for him to respond, "This is what you do to me." She could hear the beat pounding in her ears, the drum that heightened to extreme speed whenever she was near him. "Feel it! Leaving isn't an option!" She gripped his hand harder keeping him steady.

Her other hand detached and rested on his chest, feeling his heart pound against her palm. Her eyes widened slightly, at how fast it was going but she kept her gaze on him, trying to find if any emotion lied beneath. "You want to runaway from emotion, like it's the worst thing in the world, but really the worst is living without it."

His breathing was increasing and his cheeks clenched as he whispered with gritted teeth. "You still believe, there is something left for you." Sakura brows knit and she visibly tightened, "What do I have to do, to get you to see none of it matters anymore?"

"Tell me, when you saw your okasan's picture," Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over, "That you felt nothing."

His brows knit, the only movement that showed any emotion. His eyes were as unreadable as ever, but that tiny flinch was enough for her. She waited for an answer, caring nil about the minutes that ticked by. The only indication that time was moving at all was the pounding of their hearts and the crackling of the fire. "You asked me once. Why I always stood in the rain." Confusion wrinkled her brow. "I imagine. That it is my okasan's tears. As she was murdered by her son." His fingertips on her chest flinched against her. "So, yes," He bit through clenched teeth, his nails digging into her skin, "I feel something." He swallowed back his anger, and the hated emotions fell away from his gaze and now there was only emptiness staring back at her. "But they're gone. And I must live with that. So for me, life doesn't matter, nothing matters anymore."

"Well it matters to me. You, matter to me." He tried to pull back, pull away but she gripped his hand, taking a step when he took a step. Sasuke glared at her, wanting to be let go but the determination shined in her eyes. " I can't leave you, I won't leave you. I love you, damn it. I love you. You are still alive, Sasuke. Don't stop living yet. You're not dead yet! Let me show you." Her voice lowered. "Life doesn't have to be so unbearable. Let me show you." She whispered as she leaned in and pressed her lips to his.