A/N- Hi, thanks again for all the reviews. The support people give this story is amazing, and really appreciated, I'm still so surprised at the response, but yeah... I do love it.

Once again, I did plan to get this chapter out sooner, but life got in the way. Only two chapters to go after this, and I've already started on them, so they'll be out soon I promise!

Anyway, once again hoping you like this chapter, please review!

(If I could fly- Charity Chapman)

"If I could fly, I would go, And tell the world about you,
If I could fly, I would go, And tell the world.
If I had wings, I would soar, Where no one ever cries,
If I had wings, I would go, If I could fly.

And I would run, And I would sing,
And I would cross a stormy ocean, If I could be with you.
And I would run, And I would crawl,
And I would walk a weary desert, If I could be with you."

Fearless

Chapter eight.

Nine days… that was all we had to wait.

… It was just one week and two days to go until the surgery that would hopefully change Edward's life for the better. The excitement and nerves had really been in full swing since that evening in Port Angeles just under a week ago – at first all we felt was pure joy, but then… unfortunately the reality set in.

The reality of how much he'll have to adjust… and what he'll have to learn all over again. He'd been blind for five years now… and so, his memories of actually being able to see were hazy, and being without sight was pretty much all he knew now.

Plus there was also the reality of the other possible outcome… which was this surgery not working. Truthfully, none of us – not even Edward's family – had even mentioned the possibility of this happening… we had considered it in our minds but didn't want to dampen Edward's spirits by speaking our fears out loud.

It was wonderful to see him so happy after all… it was hard to actually be afraid of anything when I was around him - I was now fearless after all… or so I kept telling myself.

Edward, himself was completely different from the broken boy I had met back in September – just like how I was too – and although I do think the main reason for the change was because we found eachother. I have also noticed that even more hope and happiness has been restored to him this past week, due to this upcoming surgery.

He was talking more about college and the future… and all the things he wanted to do. He told me that he wanted us to take a trip to the beach, in somewhere like Miami… he'd only been to the beach a couple of times in his life, and he wanted to truly experience it.

He also wanted to visit Las Vegas and go to Six flags and ride all the rollercoasters for as long as he could stomach it. He also wanted to go to Canada to see the mountains, and Alaska to see the snow…

And he also wanted to get married.

That last one didn't surprise me as such – I always knew deep down that someone as sweet and romantic as Edward would eventually want that. What surprised me was how honest and open he was about it… and it made me wonder… did he ever think about marrying me?

Anyway, all of his dreams were beautiful and ambitious… and I so desperately wanted him to be able to achieve them. And so I really believed with everything in me that everything would be okay.

… Because the mere thought of this going wrong in any way at all, was completely heartbreaking.

It was a Sunday – tomorrow would be the start of Spring break, so I felt calm and a little relieved that I didn't have too much schoolwork to do… I knew that it would get any focus this next week anyway, what with everything going on.

I was just about to head over to Edward's for the afternoon, intent on just spending a nice, calm, fun day with him, when Charlie's voice stopped me just as I was heading out.

"Where are you going?" he called from what I could only assume was the living room.

"To Edward's, I'll be back to make dinner," I told him.

"Oh… well, don't you think you should be packing?" he asked back, confusion thick in his voice.

Packing… for what?

I walked into the front room, to predictably find Charlie on the sofa, watching some sort of fishing show on the TV.

"What do I need to pack for?" I asked him.

He jumped in surprise, clearly not having heard me come in. He turned his attention away from the TV and turned to face me, "Uh, for when you visit your mom." He told me.

"What… when?" I asked in surprise – though I already remembered.

Back at Christmas after much persuasion I had finally agreed to go and visit Renee in Phoenix for Spring break. She insisted that she wanted to spend some quality mother-daughter time together now that Phil was out of the picture.

I - of course - was hesitant… I still felt stung after her treatment of me after everything with Jacob – she found it incredibly easy to give up on me, and to just send me here and barely keep in contact. So when she asked me to go and visit and I refused to do so for a long time, until I finally caved in, after remembering that despite everything that has happened… she is still my mom and I miss her.

However, things were different now… the flight was in three days. I hated myself for not remembering before – but I had been distracted. All that my mind had been focused on was Edward and the upcoming surgery… everything else had been pushed to the side.

Which was why I couldn't go… I had to be here for Edward.

I took a deep breath, and began explaining, "Dad, I really don't think I should go…"

"Why not? I thought you'd want to see your mom," he interrupted me, seeming surprised.

I fought back the urge to roll my eyes, "Well, yeah… but we're not on good terms are we? We kind of fell out," I told him, hoping he would understand.

He only shrugged and turned his attention back the TV screen, "All the more reason to go Bells – you two need to reconnect."

I was growing more frustrated now, and walked around so I was blocking his view of the TV. "Okay, okay… but will I be able to handle it? Phoenix was where you know…" I trailed off.

He looked up in surprise, "That was a long time ago, Bella – nearly a year ago now, maybe it'll help you," he suggested.

Or maybe it won't.

I remembered that I hadn't really thought about Jacob in a while… not in a negative way at least. I only ever remembered the good times now whenever I thought about him… and it was all because of Edward. But if I were separated from him and sent back to the place where everything happened… I didn't know how I would react.

Perhaps I wasn't strong enough yet.

"I don't know about that," I told him sadly, biting my lip as I sat down on the coffee table that was opposite the couch.

Seeing my expression Charlie leant forward towards me, "There's something else isn't there?" he asked slowly.

I looked up in surprise, "How did you know?"

He managed to smile slightly, though it was sad, "I can tell something's up, I'm not blind, Bells," he told me, before freezing mid-sentence when he saw me flinch. Awareness suddenly dawned on his features; "It's Edward isn't it?"

Wow, he was observant.

I nodded, knowing there was no point in even trying to lie to someone like him, "Yeah it is, you know his surgery I told you about?" I asked, waiting for him to nod before continuing – "It's in a week, which is when I'll be away. Dad, I told him I would be there for him, I can't go," I insisted.

"He'll understand," Charlie replied automatically, no doubt in his voice- "just talk to him… I really think you should go see your mom Bella, and I think Edward will agree with me."

Well, knowing what Edward was like… Charlie sure was right there.

Still, I couldn't help but continue trying to find an argument against the whole idea, "But…"

But Charlie interrupted me again, "Look, why not try? If you hate it there, then you can come home early and still be back in time for Edward's surgery. Isn't it worth trying?" he asked, raising his eyebrows as if he was just daring me to argue against that point.

Damn, I wasn't going to win this fight.

"I guess," I sighed half-heartedly, as I turned towards the front door, wanting to get to Edward's now. Though while on my way out I made sure to call over my shoulder - "… but just to let you know, I'm not happy about this,"

I heard him chuckle from behind me, "Hate your mom, not me," he muttered.

I let out something that sounded like a mix of a growl and upset sigh as I bent down to pick up my bag, "Oh, don't worry," I called out loudly, before whispering - "I already do."

"Highway run, into the midnight sun
Wheels go 'round and 'round, you're on my mind.
Restless hearts, sleep alone tonight,
Sendin' all my love, along the wire.

They say that the road ain't no place to start a family,
Right down the line it's been you and me.
And lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be,
Oh girl, you stand by me…
I'm forever yours, faithfully.

Circus life, under the big top world,
We all need the clowns, to make us smile.
Through space and time, always another show,
Wondering where I am, Lost without you."

"What are thinking about, Bella?"

I snapped out my daydream as soon as I heard that soft voice, filled with a mix of confusion… and even hurt. I looked up to see Edward's concerned face – his eyes filled with so much worry and emotion, even as they gazed unseeingly back into mine.

How could I tell them that I wasn't going to be there for him on the biggest day of his life?

I couldn't.

And so, I let out a sigh as I snuggled against his side, "Nothing."

I had been at his house for a couple of hours now – when I got here I was greeted by an enthusiastic Esme and Alice, who were still so full of excitement and happiness for Edward that I almost forgot about all my worries.

We spent a while talking, and then he – my Edward - came downstairs to find me. Ever since then we'd been up in his room listening to music, lying side by side on his bed, as we comfortably talked about anything and everything. But clearly he had been able to pick up on my mood as I found myself barely able to focus on his words as I panicked about see my mom and leaving Edward behind for a couple of weeks.

Edward sighed sadly beside me; "you've been quiet and detached all afternoon, so don't tell me that nothings wrong. Has something upset you?" he asked me softly, as he turned us so we were lying facing eachother. His hand came up to softly cup my cheek, and he ran his thumb soothingly across my skin.

I closed my eyes in defeat – there was no way that I could lie to him, besides… he'll end up finding out soon enough anyway. No point in delaying the inevitable.

"Yes it is," I whispered just loud enough for him to hear, "my mom has been bothering me to visit her for ages, and I agreed a while ago. I completely forgot about it until earlier… and it's really bad," I sighed sadly.

Edward frowned slightly, "Don't take this the wrong way but what's bad about it? You'll get to spend some time with your mom and have a break…" he trailed off, before seeming to realise something - "is it because of everything that happened with Jacob over there?"

"Erm, no, not really, though that is putting me off a little bit," I told him truthfully, "no, the problem is with when my tickets booked for…"

"Oh?" Edward asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

I closed my eyes and leaned into his palm, which was still on my cheek, desperately wanting to feel his touch and warmth as I spoke. "Yeah… it's for three days time," I whispered sadly, just getting straight to the point. "… Which means that I won't be there for your surgery," I told him sadly.

He didn't say anything immediately, so I opened my eyes and looked at him… and to my horror his expression was hurt. Instantly my eyes welled up and I started rambling - "I'm so sorry… when I booked the tickets I didn't even know that you would have this surgery," I told him in a panicked rush, "if you want I could cancel… I'll just tell Renee that I can't leave you. I mean I really don't want to anyway but Charlie's insisting that I at least give it a try. I'm so sorry," I gasped as I began sobbing loudly, afraid that he would be mad at me, or worse… want me to leave.

However, at the sound of my crying, he removed his hand from my cheek and wrapped his arms fully around me, holding me to him as he rubbed my back soothingly. "Whoa, calm down sweetheart," he whispered, slightly panicked as he kissed my hair repeatedly, "it's okay, it's going to be okay."

"No, its not," I sobbed against his neck, "I so badly want to be there for you, the thought of being so far away from you while your going through that… it'll hurt so much."

He began rocking me back and forth slightly in a soothing motion as he pressed his lips to my cheek and spoke - "I know, I know, but there's no need to be upset, we'll work around it."

I shook my head in denial, "Really? How?" I asked him sadly.

"We'll keep in contact… as best we can anyway. To be honest from what I've heard, for the first few days after the surgery I'll be pretty much out of it anyway. But Alice can call you, and Esme can tell you…" he began explaining quickly, clearly trying to make me feel better.

I interrupted him gently though with the one reason why this really wasn't okay - "I want to be with you though," I whispered.

He let out a gentle breath against my cheek, "I know sweetheart, I want to be with you too, but this is okay, I promise. I'll talk to you as much as I can, and when I'm better… I'll come and meet you from the airport, and we can be properly together," he told me gently.

Admittedly his words did help – I felt myself begin to relax in his arms as my tears began to stop. I even managed to smile at the thought of what he had suggested… because it was such a beautiful image. Unfortunately though, the cynic in me came through, and I sadly realised that it probably wasn't possible. "I'm only going for a couple of weeks - it'll be too soon after your surgery, you won't be well enough for that," I whispered tenderly, hoping that my words wouldn't hurt him in any way.

He only smiled against my cheek though, before moving his lips to my ear to whisper - "I can try."

I smiled widely, feeling so in love with this man… it felt like my heart could burst any moment from the intensity of it. Surely it wasn't possible to love one person so much?

I snuggled closer to him, and when I spoke again my voice was much lighter and happier -"Alright… but airports are busy you know. But what if I can't see you? You won't know who I am will you, unless if Alice shows you a picture of something?" I asked him.

He shook his head though, "Of course I will… I'll just know, I won't need the picture," he insisted.

This comment really interested me - "Really?" But… how would that work?" I asked, completely stunned by what he had just suggested… and how certain he seemed of it.

He only smiled though, and once again reached out to brush his fingertips against my cheek, "How could I not recognise you? You're my Bella… my one and only true love… of course I'll know who you are." He whispered sweetly.

His words were just so wonderful that I couldn't help myself – I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. This action clearly surprised him, as he jumped slightly before reacting and lovingly kissing me back.

We kissed for a while before I pulled back slightly, only just enough to whisper – "I love you so much."

"I know, sweetheart," he smiled, kissing me on the cheek. "I love you too."

"I know," I grinned, repeating the action by kissing him on the cheek too.

After I pulled away I just snuggled against his chest again, and he seemed content to just hold me. We stayed that way for a while, just lying together, listening to the music that was still playing and the rain that was pattering again the window.

We were both silent, until a question came to my mind - "Are you scared?" I asked him quietly, not wanting to spoil the tenderness of this moment by speaking too loud.

"About what?" he murmured, running his fingers through my hair.

I closed my eyes, feeling very soothed by his sweet action, " about the surgery, about everything," I explained.

He paused for a moment, thinking through his answer - "Yes, I am, but it's okay, it makes it more real in a way… the fear reminds me that this is really happening." He whispered softly.

Oh… wow.

"I'm sorry that I can't be there for you," I told him sadly, wishing once again that I could.

He only squeezed me tighter to him though, "You will be though - you love me… and that's more then enough… it'll see me through it all." He told me lovingly.

I smiled, suddenly finding all my fears fade away – because of his sweet words… I was sure only he could do that. So, I spoke my thoughts out loud, "And then when your better we can have the life together we've dreamed of," I told him excitedly, just picturing all the possibilities in my mind.

It was incredible… so exciting and wonderful.

I just prayed that everything worked out… it had too.

I so desperately tried to convince myself that it would, so told him that too…

"We will… you'll see."

Lots of foreshadowing in here… can you spot where it is?

Sorry this was a little uneventful after the wait, but we've now fully built up to the last twists of the story. Next chapter will be big though… I've already started writing it and yeah there's going to be so much happening as we come to the end, that you really don't want to miss it! It's going to be a long chapter though, so I don't know how long it'll take to complete… I'll be as quick as I can though!

Anyway, please let me know what you think. Please review!

Thanks for reading... Emma.x