Thank you to everyone who was kind enough to review. Glad you're enjoying it as much as I am. More angst in this chapter. I love angst. Have fun.
"Normal people," Ianto commented. "Play tennis, or go, I don't know, hiking, fishing. Something like that. We, however, go Weevil hunting." He checked the monitor he was holding. "Next left," he directed.
"I seem to remember deciding we weren't normal," Jack answered cheerfully. "Normal is boring, anyway. And speaking of boring, I sat through that opera with you last time. You owe me."
"You fell asleep after the interval," Ianto said. "Which was fine with me, because I got to listen to the second half without all the…..er…..distractions." He cleared his throat. "Right at the next set of lights."
Jack laughed. "Anyway, it's my pick this time, and I've picked Weevils."
"It's a ploy to extract unpaid overtime," Ianto said. "Slow down a bit, it'll be one of these streets."
"If this was overtime," Jack announced, slowing the SUV from ridiculously fast to merely speeding. "You'd be getting a reprimand for insolence."
"If this was overtime," Ianto parried, "You'd be getting sued for harassment. Oh, what a payout that would be."
"Do it," Jack offered. "I'll plead guilty and we can take the money and retire to the Bahamas."
Ianto pretended to think about it. "I'm too young to retire yet. Remind me in ten years.
Signal's coming from behind that warehouse, I think."
"Have you got everything?" Jack asked, applying the brakes with a screech.
"Sedative spray," said Ianto, slapping his pockets. "Stun gun. Mask. Cuffs. Idiocy. Yep, everything."
The SUV screeched to a halt. Ianto looked at Jack disapprovingly. "Do you want to sound a fanfare as well? I was hoping for the stealthy approach. Element of surprise, and all that."
"Boring," Jack repeated, dropping gracefully out of the car. "Behind the warehouse, you said? You go left then. See you across the Weevil."
Ianto reached the Weevil first. In spite of his concerns, it obviously hadn't heard the SUV. Its head was buried in a garbage can. This was going to be easy. Ianto waited until the Weevil raised its head and sprayed it full in the face with the sedative.
Which was when everything went wrong. This was obviously one of those Weevils that was immune to the sedative. Ianto dropped the useless spray and backed away, drawing his stun gun. But of course he tripped on the discarded spray canister and went sprawling backwards before the stunner connected. The Weevil pounced, pinning his arms to the ground. Ianto choked on its foul odor. If this was his final breath, he thought fuzzily, he would have much preferred 51st Century pheromones. The Weevil's face pressed into the space between his shoulder and neck.
Actually, there were those pheromones. And there was Jack. On the Weevil's back, hauling its head back by brute force. Ianto scrambled out from under the beast, retrieved his stun gun, and waited for Jack to stop rolling around with the Weevil long enough for him to stun the damned thing.
Jack stopped. Still. Very still. Head at a strange angle. Claw marks on his neck. Shit.
The Weevil turned back to Ianto, confirming his fears. It had left Jack because Weevils preferred live prey. Ianto raised his stun gun. No mistakes this time. Stunned it, masked it, handcuffed its hands and legs as well. Jack still hadn't moved.
Jack remembered vaguely that he'd been lying on concrete when he died, so he tried his best not to let his head thrash around as was ripped back into life. A violent death often meant a violent awakening. And if his head connected with the concrete hard enough he'd die all over again. Difficult to control though, what with the lungs burning and the heart hammering and the sparks flying around in his brain as the synapses woke. Head thrashed anyway, in spite his efforts. But this time, it connected with something soft. Warm. Comforting. Ianto's shoulder. Ianto's arms around him. Nice. Very nice.
"Now this," Jack said groggily, "Is almost worth dying for." He opened his eyes to find some very lovely blue ones watching him intently. With, yes, definitely a hint of moisture in them. "I could get used to this."
"Shut up," Ianto snapped. "That was stupid, jumping onto it like that."
Jack smiled. His wits were still returning and he was feeling absurdly pleased at the level of concern Ianto was displaying. On the other hand, if his Welshman got any angrier he might burst a blood vessel. And Jack was quite fond of Ianto's blood vessels. Especially….Focus, Harkness, before he kills you again.
"I was showing off," Jack said teasingly, in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. "Were you impressed?"
"No," Ianto answered shortly. "Why didn't you use your stunner? Or shoot it, if the stunner isn't macho enough for you. Why the hand to hand combat? It could have torn you to pieces."
Jack laughed weakly. "It was about to kill you. All I could think about was getting its head out of your neck. No one and nothing," he added, trying to get his feet under him, "gets their mouth onto your neck except me."
"Slight double standard there," Ianto commented dryly, helping Jack up.
Jack froze. This had stopped being funny. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked quietly.
Ianto looked up. "Nothing," he said quickly. "We were joking around, right? Forget it. I'd rather not know anyway. Better off with my head in the sand." He left to crouch beside the Weevil. "It's still out," he announced. "Get the rear door open, would you? I'll bring beastie boy over."
"There's nothing to know," Jack said intensely, refusing to move.
"It's bound to wake up soon," Ianto warned, getting his arms under the Weevil.
Jack flung the doors at the rear of the SUV open so hard the hinges screeched.
Ianto laid the Weevil carefully onto the floor of the rear cabin. Overdid it with the handcuffs, he thought, unlocking the ones around its feet.
Jack's hands gripped his shoulders. "There's no one else," he insisted.
Ianto sighed. He closed the SUV door carefully, making sure there were no bits of Weevil caught in the hinges, then leaned back against it. Jack's hands settled back onto his shoulders, his grip uncomfortably tight.
"I really didn't want to do this," Ianto said. "But if you're going to push it, let's see, well, there was the nurse at the psych clinic last week…"
"I was distracting her so you could get into the files."
"The twins at the cafe," Ianto said, "Know about that ticklish spot on your back."
Jack grinned. "Is that how you found out?" Ianto's shoulders twitched under his hands. Jack tightened his grip. "But that was years ago, Ianto."
"The guy at the Indian takeaway," Ianto continued.
"I've been saving us from food poisoning," Jack argued. "A bit of eyelash fluttering and we don't get the stuff from the bottom of the bain-marie."
"The catwoman from Felix prime," Ianto finished, an edge of triumph in his voice. He was sure of that one. He'd cleaned the Hub the next day, after all. Fur everywhere.
"Sheba? That was before we were dating."
Ianto looked at him helplessly. "Jack, this is a waste of time. You're not going to convince me and it doesn't matter. You flirt with anything that moves. And some that don't. I can't help being jealous but I'm trying not to make a huge thing of it. Just leave it." He pulled himself free and opened the passenger side door of the SUV. Jack hadn't moved. "Or do you want me to drive?" Ianto asked pointedly. "Come on, we need to get him back before he wakes up. I had the stunner up pretty high. He shouldn't have another hit tonight, not if we want him alive."
Jack drove back much too fast. Worse than normal. Ran two red lights.
The Weevil was already starting to stir as they unclipped the handcuffs and removed the mask. They got him into a cell on his own and left him to wake up.
Jack was perched stubbornly on Ianto's desk when he returned from logging the new occupant into the security system. This was going to get sorted out. It was bad enough that Ianto thought he was still sleeping around, but it was even worse that he didn't seem to mind.
"You OK?" Ianto asked.
"No, I'm…."
"Shut up," Ianto ordered, cutting off any further argument with a very forceful kiss.
"What was that for?" Jack asked, when they paused for air. "Not that I'm complaining."
"I hate it," Ianto said angrily, "When you die. Stop doing it."
Jack laughed helplessly. "I didn't do it on purpose."
"Showing off, you said," Ianto grumbled.
"And all for nothing," Jack said mournfully. "You weren't even impressed."
"I was too busy being terrified. Hell, Jack, what if that was the time you didn't come back from?"
Jack smiled, sliding his arms around Ianto's waist and drawing him close. "I'll always come back. I promise. As long as you're here to come back to."
Ianto frowned, placed a single finger across Jack's lips. "Don't," he said warningly.
"I wasn't going to," Jack protested. Not that he didn't want to. But he had promised. Not until Ianto said it first.
Ianto's eyebrows raised. "Really?" he said. "Must have been me then."
Jack waited. Ianto chuckled. A rare and welcome sound.
"You are gonna say it," Jack growled. "Even if I have to make you."
"Promises. Promises." Ianto said. "Do you know what you look like at the moment?"
Jack smiled. He knew he was being manipulated, but Ianto being playful was too rare an event to ignore. "No idea," he said. "Can't see myself." Except, he thought, in the reflection of your eyes. And if I said something that fatuous I'd have to kill myself. Again.
"Like a cat watching a mousehole," Ianto said. "Ready to pounce."
Jack pounced.
The dim light inside the bunker reflected back from two pair of eyes, both still slightly glazed. Breathing slowly returning to normal.
"There's only you, now," Jack said softly. "Why won't you believe me?"
Their eyes locked again for an endless moment, one set demanding, the other clouded. Eventually, Ianto smiled, the clouds clearing away.
"Part of my problem," Ianto said, dropping his head onto Jack's shoulder. "Is that I believe anything you tell me. Didn't think I was quite that naïve, but there it is."
"It's not a problem," Jack said. "I don't lie to you."
The sound that drifted back from his shoulder could only be described as a snort.
"Very dignified," Jack commented.
"I didn't say you lied," Ianto explained sleepily. "You prefer distraction or evasion. Or, failing those, a dramatic exit. Serves the same purpose." He yawned.
Jack smiled. Ianto knew him too well. Which should set alarm bells ringing, but somehow it didn't. You've got it soooo bad, Harkness.
"You can ask me anything," he promised. "I might not tell you everything, and I might refuse to answer, but I won't lie."
"Great," Ianto said his voice blurring into sleep. "Now all I have to do is work out what to ask. Only 150 years to work my way through. Easy." His breathing slipped into the regular pattern of sleep.
Perhaps, Jack thought, we should have all our arguments in the bunker.