CH.1
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me." I rolled my eyes as I stood before my lord. The maker of the heavens and the earth, the birds and the bees.
"It is either that, or the depths of hell." His deep voice bellowed and filled the air. It made my ears ache and I couldn't help but place my hands over them. "It is your choice."
I sighed and shifted my weight to my right leg. I hated not having any wings, When you've been dead for ten years, you get use to having wings, you know.. Until you get them taken away because you thought that it would be a good idea to put blue dye in your friends bleach…. Or ten sweet-in-low's in their tea. When you're in heaven white is what everyone wears, It never goes out of style, the new trend every year is - you guest it- White! It's not so bad, I like wearing white, it matches every color even if the only color you wearing is white. So if you have a giant blue splotch on your dress, well then you have a problem.
"So, lemme get this straight. I can go to earth, save the life of any human I choose by giving my own life, come back here and get my wings?"
"Yes. But you must get to know the person, that person must become your friend and when the time comes your must truly want to save that person."
"Aaand, if I don't do that.. Then I go to hell?"
"Yes."
I put hand to my chin and squinted my eyes as if I was in deep thought, even though I wasn't. I might not be the sharpest crayon in the box but I definitely wasn't going to choose to go to hell. "You know. I'm not too thrilled about the fact that if I go to earth I have to die a second time."
"Then go to hell, and wish that you had chosen to die a second time."
"Touché Mr. God, touché."
"What will it be?"
"How long will this take?"
"How ever long it takes."
"so if it takes 200 years for that person to bite the dust… I'd be there for 200 years?"
"I don't think that you really get the point of this. You'll go to earth and save a human from death, then that human will go on to live his or her life until it is there true time to die."
"Mr. God. I would like to show you something called the face-palm."
"I know what the face-palm is."
"Oh, of course you do.. I forget that your all-knowing and all that junk."
"What will it be?"
"Uh… I think I'm gonna go with Earth and the saving people and what not. I'll just find some dieing kid with cancer or something."
"it will not be that easy. You must give your self up for this person, you cannot simply cure cancer and expect to gain your wings."
"Aww C'MON!"
"Off you go."
And before I had the chance to object and tell him that I had change my mind and that I would take my chances in hell I was falling towards earth toward my torturous new life. "Maybe I would have been able to over throw the devil and rule hell." I wondered aloud to my self as I entered the atmosphere of what was sure to be my own personal hell. "WAIT!" I yelled as a realized I was actually falling. "Mr. God! Who am I? Where did I come? Where am I gonna stay? And most importantly HOW AM I GONNA LAND!"
"Your first three questions will be answered with time. You may spend some time in a hospital."
"Wha- OH yeah cuz I would just love to spend my first day on earth in a hospital, with a tube stuck down my THROAT!" I yelled. He didn't answer me and I continued to fall to what was sure to be a rough landing. As I drew closer to the surface I found that I was falling to the continent of North America. "Wonder where im gonna break my neck at." I mumbled. I felt as if I was falling very slowly, "How long does it take to plummet to the ground? You could have at least sent me off with a crossword puzzle or something." I crossed my arms and laid back like I was in bed. I had always wanted to go sky diving but I never imagined that it would be like this. I Closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath of moist air and opened my eyes just as I fell into a cloud.
It was a particularly thick cloud and it had the ominous gray color that all storm clouds carried. Storm clouds -to me- were the big muscle clouds that all the other cloud were afraid of. That's why they all leave when the storm clouds come, then they come back after the storm clouds have had there way with everything underneath them. I realized something about myself in this moment, I had too much time on my hands, I thought way too much.
Sounds of a near by airplanes engines rumbled through my chest and it was brought to my attention that I wasn't falling slowly, I was falling very quickly and I was getting close to a city. I had seen this city before there was one distinct feature. The space needle of Seattle. The city where I died. Of all the places in the world I would be breaking my neck here. "Great." I said. Looking down I saw that I was going to touch down in a park right next to a busy street. "Well at least there's gonna be a lot people around to call an ambulance. My fist day here am I'm all ready getting a lot of attention." I liked the way I always looked at the glass half full, or something like that. Ok maybe that's a lie. I'm one of the most pessimistic angles or people or whatever I am out there. I saw a tree that was my target landing place and before a had a chance to brace for impact I felt a sharp pain and heard the branch snap or maybe it was my leg or some other body part and then more pain and then more branches then I think I hit the ground but I wasn't quite sure because I was quite sure that I was unconscious. I might have been hanging in the tree by my shirt for all I knew. But as I begin to sleep for the first time in like ten years -because when your dead and have as much time on your hands as I did you don't sleep- I heard people gathering around in curiosity and gasping.
Yeah I'm pretty sure I hit the ground and I must not have looked good doing it.