Summer school – continued

Opening quote

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.
Russell Baker

As Charlie and Bella drove towards La Push, she was singing along with the radio. Not quite in tune, but Charlie was too distracted once more to complain. So what was it REALLY that had kept Renee home this time, he mused, doing his level best to keep his thoughts off his face in order not to worry his daughter. Had she really hated the thought of camping so much, or had she had other plans. I should have asked the neighbors to keep an eye on the car. He berated himself silently, and you want to be a cop? Sure thing. Make that one tough old forgetful cop. Sometimes he really felt ancient. Even some wannabe PI could do better than that. Then he realised Bella had gone quiet. „What is it, punkin?" he asked her. She looked at him, raised her eyebrow and said, „Dad, is this.. like.. supposed to be a test or something? The turnoff for the La Push camping grounds was back there…" Charlie looked around and realised she was right. Shit. Can't even think straight enough to not embarass myself in front of my ten-year-old. What's the world come to? „Oh.. er.. yes, a test, Bells. Just wanted to make sure you kept track of where we're going too," Charlie tried to rectify the situation. „Guess that means I passed, huh?" „You sure did, punkin, you sure did" Gosh, he was lucky to have her look forward to her friends and camping so much that she'd overlooked his oversight without batting an eye.

When they arrived at the parking lot, Bella was out of the car in the blink of an eye, determined to find her friends and hang out with them, leaving Charlie plus tent and the trimmings in her wake. He shook his head and laughed. So much for a healthy sense of normality. He'd spoiled her, no doubt. After a few treks back and forth, Charlie started setting up their tent. It was another uncommonly warm day for this area and he was sweating by the time he was finished. He stored their food safely, hanging a smell-proof container in a tree a few meters from the tent, and went to cool hands and feet in the sea. He met Bella, her friends and the other two fathers down by the water and they exchanged friendly greetings. As the adults chatted, it turned out that all three girls had basically used the same method to convince their respective parents. However, Charlie was the only one who ended up sans wife. For their lunch the Swans had sandwiches, sent along by Renee, and they ended up sharing them with the rest as she tended to attempt to feed an army instead of two. As the afternoon turned into evening, the men built a fireplace and the girls collected dry wood for a barbecue. When the first stars showed, Billy arrived, Jacob and Dale tagging along. Charlie introduced them to the other two families and soon enough the boys were off to build their own fire to impress the girls. After they'd all shared their potluck of sorts, the children returned to their smaller fire with their sleeping bags and proceeded to tell ghost and other scary stories. Jacob took the prize with some ancient Quileute legends. Bella was so impressed with them that she woke Charlie with her scared scream caused by a particularly impressive nightmare containing huge wolves and scary looking utterly white-skinned gleaming humans who chased her at great speed. Human? She thought after she woke up in the morning at last. Were they really?

Severus had come to love his bedroom with a view of the stars. He'd lie there and let his mind drift, and he found that there he felt secure enough to think of Lily without pain. He even found himself hoping she was happy and the thought made him doze off with a smile. His sleep was deep and he tended not to remember his dreams. He considered that an unexpected bonus of the new life he was creating for himself.

He also thought of his current state as as close to happy as he had ever been before. For the first time in his life, family actually meant a group of people he.. loved.. he realised with a pang. Love? Was it truly possible? He sat in his bed in the dark of night, thinking hard. He.. loved. Without reservations. And then fear followed, on soft paws, sneaking into his every thought, chilling him to the center of his heart. What if he lost Irene? Billy? Nora, the children? How would he ever be able to live with himself after that?? He rushed out of bed, stumbling over the sheets, nearly falling, and ran to his desk. He forgot about the lamp, muttering "Lumos!" impatiently as he grabbed his wand from underneath some children's drawings Beth had given him the other day. He swept everything off the desk, pulled some blank paper out of the drawer and began planning his strategy to keep those he loved safe. Of course he started with the potions he could slip into their drinks to protect them from poison attacks or sleeping potions. Then he listed the spells he would need to speak to keep their homes safe. He considered testing the children for magical ability. He doubted that the system in the US was as sophisticated as the one set up in the UK to register every wizard or witch that was born. He also realised he didn't even know what and where Hogwarts' equivalent was located. This country was just too large. He shook his head. No, he'd have to do without magical help from children. He just needed to keep them safe with the means at his disposal.

When someone knocked on his door, he flinched and aimed his wand at the door. In his Potion Master tone he asked who wanted something at this hour of night, suddenly sounding like his haughty old self. In the split second before a familiar voice answered, it occurred to him that he didn't like the way that felt – and sounded.

It was Irene's voice and he could hear the concern in her voice. Concern he'd probably put there, he thought. "Is everything ok, Severus?" she asked when he opened the door to admit her. He sighed and said, "yes and no, Irene," knowing he wouldn't manage to hide a thing from her ultimately. So he explained what had made him frantically run from bed to desk and laid out his plans to her.

Pragmatically, Irene looked over his lists, smiling proudly at her grandson for getting down to the practical side without delay. She pointed out a few flaws to him but didn't criticize him for thinking of such protective measures in the first place. He was grateful to her and it reassured him to have her on his side. When they were both satisfied with the new and improved version, she gently laid her hand on his and said, "Severus, I know that a lot of this is a first for you. Especially your sudden realisation that you treasure us and vice versa. But if you allow your fear of losing any of us to overshadow the joy, then that fear will have won, and it will weaken you. Allow love to reign instead. It's much stronger than fear, and even stronger than death, if you allow it to be.

Now it's time for this old woman to stop gallivanting about in the middle of the night. Good night, dear. Try to get some sleep now." He accompanied her to her door and kissed her goodnight. As he climbed the stairs once more, he thought of the future. Of those aspects he was sure of, as things stood now, and he smiled again. What sense would it make after all, to attempt to cross bridges he hadn't come to yet? He would cross them, one after the other, all in good time. For now it was only time to cross the bridge to the land of dreams.