Better late than never. At last ... the sixth and final chapter of my first story. The context of this part is around Eclipse, just in case ;)

I don't own any are all Stephenie Meyer's.

Enjoy

CHAPTER 6: And so... I am a wolf

I have to do the laundry I keep saying to myself as I hide in the forest on my way back home. This going-around-naked thing is going to be a problem. I am some blocks away and it's dark, I could just run there, I guess…

Right before I start running I hear voices. There's people in the street! Am I ever allowed to have good luck for a change? Hopefully they are drunk enough not to notice me; but then again, with my luck, they might as well be sober photographers. Let's not push it , Leah… I think while I walk back towards the forest. I will wait until they're gone, I am not in a hurry.

Back home the laundry is done. My mother is making sure I have as few things to worry about as possible – considering I am an abomination and everything.

- I knew you'd be hungry. You haven't eaten since yesterday and before that, since you ... Well, you must be starving. – She's desperate to be helpful. As soon as I entered the house she offered me a robe and shoes.

- Ehm… Yeah. Thank you, I am. I need a shower first, though. - At that same time she opened the oven and the smell captured me. If I weren't a woman, I am sure I would've drooled by now.

I sit and my mother puts a reasonably big plate in front of me. She sits, too, holding a cup of tea. I eat and she drinks, silently. Not a word is uttered in almost 20 minutes. I am done but still a bit hungry. Somehow, she knows, so she gets up and takes from the fridge a big cake.

After having 3 slices and thanking my mum, I climb up the stairs. I shower slowly, allowing the warmth of the water soothe my psychological and emotional pain. My hair doesn't smell like mud anymore, which cheers me up a little bit. I get to my bedroom and flicker the lights on. The bed is made, my clothes are in the closet, my books are organised in a pretty neat way. I get to the window and close it and am about to do the same with the curtains but I catch something outside with the corner of my eye. The other wolves. They're coming here.

I rush to get dressed. If I am going to burst into a massive animal again then there's no point in putting on jeans and a random shirt. I am not cold so I don't really need clothes but I must wear something. Something that allows me to run when the time comes… shorts and a tank top it is. I don't mind putting on a bra as it doesn't make any difference and being bare foot is not my cup of tea, but for the sake of being practical, I put no shoes on.

I dash downstairs. My mother is there, they are with her.

-Your brother is missing; - I immediately interpret that as He's changed.

Sam speaks again –we'll help him as a pack.-

Half a second of pure soulful look later Jacob adds – There's no time for you to like the idea or us . In or out? –

-Sing me up.-

I hate the idea! I don't even want to think of phasing to and from wolf form in front of these people … and most importantly than anything else: the hell I want to be around Sam and the apologetic atmosphere –let alone the rest of his pack with the pitiful eyes. But Seth needs me. He's my little brother; I'd die before letting anything happen to him. It doesn't matter how much this may hurt –and God, it will hurt like hell – I love him more than that. It's my responsibility to look after him… so suck it up, Leah.

We're running through the forest, separately, covering more territory. Suddenly, I hear one of them changing his way. A detour towards me.

Four seconds pass and Jacob is running next to me. Why does Sam always send him? Don't they know the boy annoys the crap out of me?

-You lost something?-

-What? Do you think I want to be the one who actually talks to you? Don't flatter yourself, girl; you're not exactly nice to be around either.-

I hadn't turned my head to look at him as I spoke or when he replied. I'm done with the sarcasms and worried about my brother. I stop running and half a second later – but 7 feet away- Jacob stops to look back at me.

- Is he going to be OK?... Seth. He's only 15. I mean, what if…-

-He'll be alright after we find him.-

-For me it was…-

-It won't be quite as hard for him. You'll be there. He already trusts you and loves you. He will believe you. - He turns around and continues walking. I catch up with him in no time.

- He's not near the reservation as we thought. We're splitting up to cover much more territory. And… you're coming with me.-

-No. If we all go our separate ways we'll find him even quicker. I now my way around the forest so I won't get lost.-

- Sure, sure. The idea is not mine. Again, me being with you, has a purpose. There're many things about being a wolf and part of a pack that you don't know. My job today – besides finding that brother of yours – is making you aware of those details. – We change direction and I ask:

- Do we have a purpose at all? Protection, attack… anything?-

-We'll get there. Believe me, once you transform again, that purpose will be the last thing on your mind.-

-I have transformed and I know the difference: Hearing everything, seeing everything and smelling freaking everything. The strength, the power and the… instincts.-

- Yeah, nice. Very literary… I don't mean that. See, now you are one of us,so things have changed. Now that we are a pack we're connected in ways you can't even imagine.

-What the hell? Do you mean we are like …-

-I don't mean anything until you shut you're pretty mouth and stop jumping to conclusions. Are you going to let me ex…?-

-Yes, I'm listening.-

-Good. - He sighs and looks at me very seriously. – You're already in and despite what I told you before, I don't think you are a coward, which means – if I' m not wrong- that you will stay in. Now, the connection I was talking about … Do you know how twins can sometimes sort of read each other's feelings and thoughts or have, ehm … nope… - Where is he going with all of this? His explanation or whatever it is he is doing is so messed up. He goes on:

-Alright, screw it. The members of the pack are mentally connected. To make a long story short… you share brains with everybody when in wolf form.-

Crap! If I'm understanding this horrifying news as they are supposed to be understood then I am in huge trouble. It means no secrets or memories are private anymore. My feelings and opinions, my pain and my very few hopes will be published in these people's minds.

I'm still trying to digest that fact when Jacob interrupts me:

-You OK, Clearwater? You look kinda green… Holy sh*t! Are you going to faint or cry? Listen…-

-Dude, shut up! I'm just… Let me see if I got that right… How?-

-What ever it's on your mind is also on the others'. What you see and smell and everything is also going on in some part of our brain. It'll be confusing and frustrating… but as I already told you, what I am doing is letting you know, because there is just no way to get anyone prepared for that.-

-I … ehm… - Jeez! That's just peachy. When is the craziness going to stop? I don't want Sam in my head. I don't want people to feel the pain I feel when I see him… when I see them together. I don't think I'll be able to cope with that.

-Leah, it's important that you know. You'll have time to think it over later, but now I have to just tell you everything, - I cut him off.

-You can't just drop such a big bomb on me and expect me to say "go on ".- He ignores me easily and continues – Our communication works within many kilometres. If you are in your wolf form and so are we, we'll be able to hear each other from miles away as clear as if we were next to one another.- He takes a two-seconds break and stars again.

- In every pack there's a leader, an Alpha. Sam is ours. His orders must always be obeyed. It's not as if you have much of a choice either but that's the idea. The main rule is to never betray or let a brother behind which involves a bunch of honour and trust you'll find about later… Then there's the council and …-

After being told about the history sessions with the elders and the imprinting thing, I am pretty much suicidal. We've been running in silence for about an hour. It's almost dawn when I catch Seth's scent in the air. I star running full speed towards him. I hear Jacob's clothes turn apart and his flesh explode into massive muscles and heavy fur.

I enter a clearing and find there a big grey wolf. It notices my presence and gets out of control. It's mad and is going to attack. His lips are pulled back showing his enormous fangs and his eyes are full of anger and desperation. The huge russet wolf, Jacob, is suddenly in front of me defensively. I hear my brother growl at Jacob. He feels he's being trapped.

-Seth! – I yell. – It's OK, Seth. It's Leah.- I move to a side so that Jacob's shadow doesn't burry me anymore. My hands are up near my chest, my palms to the front, as if I had been caught by the police.

-I'm here, Seth. It's OK. It'll be over, I promise.- I step forward and Seth's eyes go yellow with unease as Jacob puts his car-sized paw in front of me. Seth growls again and adopts an offensive position. Jacob responds in kind and when Seth moves forward Jacob jumps to meet him in the air, pushing him back.

-No! Stop!- I scream – Jacob Black, you touch my brother one more time and I'll personally rip your heart out of your chest!-

-Leah! Step back! – Sam shouts from behind. He has just gotten here.

-No. He needs me. Tell Jacob to back off.-

-You can't get close. He'll hurt you.-

-No, he won't. I got this, OK? Tell him!- Sam hesitates and finally utters:

-Phase back. She's got it.-

The red-brown beast enters the forest, he's out of sight. We all hear Jacob's mutation back to human and a second later the boy appears at Sam's right flank. Paul and Jared have arrived. I turn my back to them and begin:

- Ok, little bro. Let's calm down. It's me, Leah. Look at me.- the beast's eyes focus on me and I step forward. I am only 3 feet away now. I can see my reflection in his deep, dark eyes.

-I'm here. It's OK. Just relax. - I extend my arm and step forward one more time. My hand reaches the fur of his neck and he closes his eyes in response. I feel the tension in the throats of our audience.

I press my hand against his warm cheek and feel his muscles relax. He moves forward and covers me with his huge face. I hug his massive neck and path his giant head. We stand there for a minute , then it happens.

I feel his body shrink and step back. The rest of the pack comes to us and give him some clothes, as they'd done with me. When they're done, I make my way to him pushing Embry and Quil away.

- You OK?-

- No- He answers. –What happened?

- Let's get you home, kid. – I say. I put my arm around his shoulders and start walking. The other guys take a different route home and so I begin to destroy my brother's life with this truth that will haunt us forever:

- I'd give anything not to tell you this…-

It's been a week full of awkward episodes and lots of mind digging. The pack is kind of depressed… having unlimited access to my feelings and thoughts is no fun. I've been dying over and over again every time I heard Sam's feelings towards Emily. The whole pack had to suffer with me which they obviously hate up to the point of phasing as little as possible to keep my misery from killing them.

It's the middle of the night and we have to patrol the surroundings searching for the red-headed blood sucker. Seth's at home since it's a school night and Sam is eager to make him study. Sam's just told us our areas to cover and we are eating something before phasing and get started.

-Hey, Leah. You gonna eat that? - Mumbles Jared that has already an empty plate.

-Actually, I am. Sorry. – He looks disappointed and quite sad, so I give in and continue – Now that I think about it, I'm not that hungry. I'll just have some apples. - His face lights up in a second as I hand him the plate. Gluttony, a very wolfy feature.

I eat two apples and tell Sam, without looking at him, - I'll start now so that Jacob, Quil and Embry can come back.- Without waiting for an answer I walk away to a place in the forest where I'll leave my clothes.

I'm absent-mindedly stripping when I hear Jacob's SHHHH!. I turn around quickly and find the three of them spying on me behind a tree.

- You are dead! - are my last words before I explode tarring the shorts I was still wearing apart.

I'm sitting on my tiny cliff, admiring the landscape that remains the same as yesterday, as tomorrow … as months ago.

There're still a million questions in my mind but I'm done asking. It turns out that every time I find an answer, I find pain with it. No more. I'm done looking for answers.

I sigh and the sun sighs back hiding behind the ocean. At twilight, in the distance, a wolf howls. I get to my feet and start running to the sound.

I really hope you enjoyed the story. This is my first piece of work ever published anywhere (in this case, the always helpful internet (: ) . I'm sorry if I am creeping you out but this is a pretty big deal for my literary self.

Please review! You liked it, hated it? Write commenting on the ending, the style, the mistakes... anything! I appreciate feedback and criticism very much. Perhaps some ideas for a coming story...

PS: I am working on a new piece of writing that should be posted sometime around next week. Check it out! I think I'm going to name it CONFESSIONS OF A BROKEN HEART . It has nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan... in case you were wondering xD

Thanks again for reading