Plot: The infamous Marauders weren't alone in their love for pranking. In fact, they often had their butts kicked by a bunch of girls. Now, this is it. Seventh year. Four girls, four boys. Two opposing pranking teams. One hell of a battle to be won.

Disclaimer: Sad as it may be, I am not J.K. Rowling in disguise, and therefore I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters or themes involved. (I do, however, own Jamie, Hannah and Regan and most elements of this specific plot—so I'd appreciate it if no poaching occurred. Thanks.)

WARNING (please read): This is the unedited version, meaning I wrote it a few years ago when my skill level sucked and I had no idea how to properly structure a story. So if you'll please ignore the terrible grammar, dodgy sentence structure, OOC-ness, plot holes, canonical inconsistencies and general immaturity of this whole chapter while I plough my way through all this editing work, that would be greatly appreciated. :) I'm in the process of fixing up all the chapters right now, but you'll have to be patient, because (as you can probably tell just by reading a couple of sentences below) fixing this stuff up takes a lot of time and effort.

Chapter Fifteen – Face the Facts

The next thing Lily knew, she was staring at the all too familiar ceiling of the Hospital Wing. After countless pranks-gone-wrong in her past years at school, it was easily recognised, even as it spun hazily before her eyes.

'What am I doing here?' was the first thought that forced its way to the front of her mind, which was whirling incessantly back towards the unconscious state she had just recovered from. She wasn't sure whether or not she was still dreaming, thanks to the lead that seemed to have taken up permanent residence inside her forehead. She blinked, grunted, then pressed a hand gently to her brow, surprised to find that there was no pain there at all.

Then, so suddenly it made her jump, a face appeared just above her. Self-conscious for no reason that she could deduce, Lily sat bolt upright, startled. The sudden motion made her stomach lurch and she lunged for the empty bucket next to the bed.

Gasping, Lily raised her head, still unbelievably dizzy.

"What, is my face really so repulsive that it made you vomit?"

Lily froze. The deep voice was one she would have recognized anywhere, and suddenly she was feeling self-conscious again. She wasn't sure what had just happened, or what she had done to embarrass herself – though she was quite sure she had done something. Letting her vision adjust, she looked up at the face that still loomed over her, not quite so close now. James had taken a few steps back while she retched, and now he stood at the foot of Lily's bed, a concerned frown knitting his brows together. But there was a twinkle of amusement playing in his eyes, too, and Lily couldn't help but laugh lightly at his comment; a notion which forced Lily to assume that some kind of drug had been administered since her arrival. Laugh at Potter's remarks? As if.

"Probably," she croaked, touching her raw throat with two fingers.

James gave a chuckle, shifting his feet and looking at the ground. "How are you feeling? You gave me a right good scare back at the meeting. I didn't even know you were sick until then. Would you care to tell me what actually happened?"

Lily groaned, not sure she wanted to launch into a full explanation of her mysterious illness and its cause. "I woke up sick this morning," she said simply. "That's why I didn't go to any classes. But I thought it had passed by the time I went downstairs. Obviously I was wrong. But now... well, I feel fine."

One corner of James's mouth twitched as he looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "Madam Prunica had you drugged up a bit more than I'm sure is natural. It's a wonder you haven't lost your mind completely."

"I'm talking to you – that's got to count for something." The retort rolled off her tongue before she could even think twice about it. James looked uneasily at his feet again, and Lily bit her tongue so hard she actually flinched. He really hadn't said anything to set her off. It was only instinct.

The awkward silence ended abruptly when an odd-looking nurse that Lily had never seen before bustled into the room with a tray full of questionable items, bottles and jars mostly filled with strangely coloured substances. "Ah, she's awake at last!" the nurse exclaimed as if this little occurrence made her day. She hurried to Lily's bedside, set down the tray on the table at the foot of her bed, and began to poke and prod. "I've already introduced myself to your little friend here, darling, but I'd better make myself known to you, too. I am Madam Prunica, filling in for Madam Pomfrey while she is required on urgent duty at Saint Mungo's. Do not worry, though, my dear, for I am equally qualified, and have specialized skills in many areas beyond what your usual nurse has acquired."

Lily was startled by the long and rather perturbing introduction. Feeling a little uncomfortable, she sat still as Madam Prunica wrenched her mouth open, peered down her throat, peeled back her eyelids and actually tried to listen to her pulse by holding Lily's wrist up to her own ear. James and Lily exchanged baffled looks.

Upon finishing the inspection, the nurse began to throw an assortment of odd questions at Lily, scarcely giving her time enough to answer before moving on to the next. "How is your throat? Did the Mendo-Vorcus do the trick? And your heart, is it steady? You're going to have to figure out the cause, my dear, or this will never heal."

"Err... excuse me?" Lily asked hesitantly, taken aback.

"Oh!" Madam Prunica screeched as if the sky was falling, making both Lily and James wince. "You do not know of the sickness! My poor, unenlightened girl!"

The pair that was not in the middle of declaring the end of the world glanced at one another, bemused expressions on their faces. Lily was surprised at the fluidity with which they could communicate using only their eyes. Clearly, James was thinking the same as she was – they needed to get out of here before this woman elaborated on whatever strange disease she seemed to think Lily had, or else continued to rave about the horror of it all and pronounced Lily a living vegetable. Lily wasn't certain she would like to go anywhere with James at the moment, but it presented itself as her only option, and she was willing to take it.

"Is it alright if I leave now?" she asked very forwardly, making to get up and go.

But Madam Prunica wasn't so keen on letting her leave.

"Oh no!" she hollered, shoving Lily back down onto the bed with exaggerated force that made the girl cower down low with frightened eyes. "You mustn't leave! There is much to do! We must begin the cleansing process, or else your heart shall not be mended and you may be stuck in here for the rest of eternity!"

While Lily's eyes shot open to the size of snitches, James kept his cool and spoke back. "Well we certainly don't want that," he said firmly, some distress in his voice. He grabbed Lily's shoulder, motioning subtly toward the door. In one lithe movement, Lily leapt from the bed, but Madam Prunica wasn't going to let her go without a fight. Soon, Lily had become a living elastic as James held fast to one arm and the livid nurse tugged fiercely at the other.

"This girl is sick at heart, young lad! Treatment cannot be postponed! It is a life-threatening case! Would you be comfortable holding responsibility for her death?" She gave an extra hard yank and Lily winced.

'Life threatening?' Lily thought, alarmed. 'What is she on about?'

"I'm sorry, Madam Prunica, but I don't think you're qualified to give such a diagnosis. We're going to go now." James strengthened his grip on the other arm; he was clearly much stronger than Prunica, but the mad old woman wasn't giving up. At James's words, her eyes bulged and her face turned an ugly shade of puce, reminding Lily of Peter's apologetic card.

"You... you dare question my qualifications, laddie?" she practically growled, now pulling so hard on Lily's arm that she cried out in pain.

"I do," James said with fire in his eyes as he pulled Lily back in his own direction. He was really getting into this now. "Who hired you anyway, Madam Prune?"

"Why you little…" Prunica glared icily at James.

Then, all of a sudden, the woman gave such a forceful tug that Lily went flying across the room, crashing into a table full of medicines and falling in a heap on the wooden floorboards. Dusting a few pieces of broken glass from her striped sweater, she looked up, only to realize that both James and Prunica were still fully engrossed in their argument. Her head was beginning to pound again as she watched.

"I'll be reporting you to Dungledore, I will!"

James laughed. "Good luck with that!" He flashed his badge at the woman, whose nostrils flared.

"Oh, you think you're so smart, don't you?" she growled. "I'll show you!" She reached for her wand, but James was too quick – he shouted the spell before she had even grasped her own wand.

"Petrificus totalus!" he bellowed, and Madam Prunica was as stiff as a board. Lily watched in horror as the nurse fell to the floor with a sharp 'smack' and James put his wand away.

"Well," James said, sizing up his work. "That ought to hold for a while."

"J-James!" Lily finally managed to find her voice. "You just… cast a spell on a teacher!"

James grinned. "Yeah. I've always wanted to give it a try. Mind you, she's barely a teacher, so it's not quite the satisfaction I wanted…"

Lily blinked, then burst out in laughter. Really, the situation was quite funny; an enraged old woman lying on the floor of the hospital wing, a broken table and a pile of smashed bottles, and her and Potter – Potter – standing at the scene of the crime. James joined in, and they laughed together for a few moments. Finally, realizing the absurdity of what was happening, Lily stopped suddenly. James, clearing his throat, looked at the ground.

"Well," he said after a minute's pause. "We'd better get going. In case she… you know, wakes up."

Lily looked down at the woman, who stirred at that very moment.

"Come on!" James hissed at her, and they both ran from the room.

They covered the first few corridors at a sprint, flying down the stairs in their haste to get away in time. When they finally stopped to catch their breath, both panting hard, they had, coincidentally enough, reached the Gryffindor portrait hole, and the Fat Lady raised an eyebrow at them in disdain.

"That was a close one," James said breathlessly.

"Yeah," Lily agreed. "One more second and we'd be goners. She'd probably have tied us up and diagnosed us with ear fungus or something."

James laughed heartily. "You're probably right."

Once they were both breathing relatively evenly again, they stood up straight, finding themselves, oddly enough, facing each other.

After a moment of awkward silence, Lily debated what to say. "Um, thanks," was what she finally decided uneasily upon.

"No problem," James answered with a grin, running a hand through his messy hair.

Suddenly, Lily burst out, "Look, I'm really sorry I overreacted about the whole peephole thing."

James nodded slowly, looking a tad confused. "You don't need to be. We acted like idiots. We're the ones who should all be sorry. And I am."

"No, really," Lily insisted, not entirely sure how the words were forcing their way out of her mouth. "It was just a practical joke. I should be used to those, but I guess… well, I don't like seeing my friends get hurt."

"Neither do I," James agreed. There was silence for a couple of seconds.

"Oh, and Potter," Lily added. He looked up at her. "You heard what I said – well, what Hannah said about me – that night, didn't you?"

James looked at his feet, shifting them uneasily, and nodded. Lily's heart jumped – he did know.

"Well… I'm not going to pretend it wasn't true."

James met her gaze then, his hazel eyes alight with some kind of indistinguishable excitement. He opened his mouth to speak, hesitated, and then launched forward. "Really? 'Cause Lily, I –"

"PRONGSIE!"

The portrait door swung open, and Sirius's booming voice echoed around them.

"I've been looking for you all over, mate! Say, what are you doing with Evansie?"

Remus appeared just behind him. "Sorry, Prongs. He got into a box of chocolate frogs. Haven't got a clue where he found them…"

James sighed, glanced at Lily almost apologetically, and smirked at Sirius. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he said. Sirius's eyes widened as his friend put an arm around his shoulders and started to steer him back into the common room. Remus gave Lily an uneasy smile as he, too, reentered the room.

"You going through or not, girl?" the Fat Lady asked impatiently.

Lily thought for a moment. "Not just yet, thank you," she told the portrait politely, and turned on her heel, hands in pockets. She needed to clear her head – but this time, it wasn't for a negative reason. Her headache was gone, she didn't feel sick at all anymore, and for the first time in a long while, Lily had a smile on her face.

Sorry it was so short compared to most of the other chapters. I just wanted to get through this little piece with Lily and James, and then move all the other dramas into another chapter. I didn't want to complicate the perfect ending with a pile of catastrophes.

Just to let you know, I'm going to be doing some major re-formatting on this story (some of the chapters have gone all mutated for some reason, so I need to fix that). If anything goes crazy while I'm working with it, don't be alarmed. I just hope I don't need to take anything down.

Leave me a review if you feel like it :) And don't forget to visit the website, the link to which is on my profile page. :)