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Summery – Carlisle helps Jasper deal with his past after it was dredged up by the Newborn army battle in Eclipse – 2006

Authors note – Thanks to all who have reviewed this story we really enjoy hearing what you all think. The quote that Carlisle uses is from Confucius. Thanks to our Beta Clairisant

Feelings Revisited
By:
AngelBabs81 and potterfan2006

Within days of the battle with the newborns, Carlisle still felt out of balance. Alice and Esme were busy helping plan Edward's and Bella's wedding. Rosalie and Emmett continued doing their own things. Jasper had all but disappeared.

Alice knew where he was and when Carlisle came home from work, he asked about him. Alice had promptly refused to reveal his whereabouts, explaining that Jasper told her he needed to be alone for a time and would return on his own accord. She continued to explain that she would have been with him if she didn't think this was important to him. Alice had let him go. "Give him a few more days," she told Carlisle.

Carlisle shook his head, and told her, "It is important that I speak with him."

Alice looked at Carlisle and finally nodded, "He's at our cabin."

"Thank you," he told her. He journeyed to the cabin and when he arrived he knocked at the door.

Jasper had been in back doing some manual labor when he heard the knock; he quickly tossed his shirt back on. In a few minutes the door was opened and he was somewhat surprised to see Carlisle. "What are you doing here," he asked, sounding worn out.

"I am here to talk to you," Carlisle spoke looking over Jasper.

Jasper moved aside and let him in. "Please have a seat." He motioned to the little used sitting room.

Carlisle took the offered seat and smiled, "How are you doing?" he asked.

Jasper shut the door. "I'm doing fine," he answered, but what he wasn't saying was that he was in agony over the newborn battle; he had thought he left those days behind when he left Maria.

"Are you?" Carlisle asked sincerely. "Out of all of us, excluding me, you are the only one who has had previous experience with newborns. You were re-living your past. A past you thought was behind you."

Jasper nodded his head. "A past that I would rather not have had brought up. Pure hearted people got hurt because of the vendetta that Victoria had against Edward and Bella. Innocent people got hurt. Alice, Esme, and Rose were subjected to something that will be with them forever," he said as he got up and started to pace.

"You're right, they shouldn't have been subjected to that, but they chose to fight and not parish. They chose to learn from you and your experience. Your experience saved us," Carlisle told him.

"My experience merely saved us from being hurt, but we weren't able to save or protect the innocent ones."

"Innocent ones?" Carlisle questioned, and then let out a sigh. "Oh, you mean the newborns, the ones who had no choice in becoming what they were created to do by Victoria."

"I felt their fear, I felt their confusion, and I even felt some of their determination to kill us." His Voice dropped, "I felt Bree's complete terror before Felix killed her." He walked over to the window and stared out into the woods.

"I'm sorry, son," Carlisle spoke softly. He stood up to approach the younger man, standing a few feet behind him, he said, "Jasper, I know what happened is hard on you. It was on all of us. But it was us or them."

"I know," he said still facing the window, "Is Alice okay? I know she probably sent you to bring me home," he said quietly.

"Alice is fine," Carlisle assured. "She refused to give me your location, at first. Of course, she is worried, but she knows when you need to be alone. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I understand the fight was hard on you, but I want you to also know that it was necessary."

"I know it was necessary, Carlisle," Jasper turned from the window. "I would do anything to protect those that I love, but that doesn't mean I have to like the way things turned out." During this whole exchange his voice remained level, but his voice had a hard quality to it.

Carlisle placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I am going to leave you to your thoughts. But remember, we should feel sorrow, but not sink under its oppression." With that, Carlisle moved towards the door. "I'll see you when you get home."

Jasper stood there for a long while, thinking about Carlisle's words and realized that he was right. It was time to stop wallowing and move on. Yes he would remember the sorrow, but he would never forget that he helped save his family, and at the end of the day that was all that really matters.

The End