Rachel stared, open mouthed, at Quinn. How could the blonde girl think that she had any right to show up on Rachel's doorstep after everything she'd done?
"What're you doing here, Quinn?"
Quinn flinches at the rough tone in Rachel's voice. In her excitement, Quinn had nearly forgotten that she and Rachel weren't talking. She searched for the proper words to say, but couldn't find them. She sighed, dejected. "You're right. I'll go. I'm sorry. I just…I'm sorry." She turns to leave.
"What's the song?" Rachel's voice is quiet, curiosity getting the best of her but her pain not allowing her to behave in the manner she normally would have.
Quinn wordlessly hands over her iPod, her heart nearly bursting when Rachel's face lights up in a brief smile. "Oh, Quinn, this is perfect. And I'm so glad you like the song…" Rachel's voice trails off, her mind wandering back to when she sent the song to Quinn. It felt like so long ago.
Quinn just nods, neither girl knowing what to say. Both of them blurt out a few words at the same time.
"Quinn, I-"
"Rachel, I'm-"
They stop talking, and blush. Rachel gestures for Quinn to continue. "Rachel, I'm so sorry. I didn't think…I didn't think. I shouldn't…ugh." Quinn waves her hands in front of her, her mind searching for the right words. "I shouldn't have been so stupid. And I'm sorry."
Rachel nods. "You're right. You were stupid. But I shouldn't be so hard on you. I've known I liked girls for a long time, Quinn. But I guess I forgot how scary figuring yourself out can be. You were still stupid…but it's a somewhat forgivable stupid. But I'm still mad." Rachel crosses her arms in front of her chest, but Quinn catches the small smirk playing across the dark haired girls face.
Quinn smiles broadly, Rachel might still be upset, but now she knows this is something they can talk through. Rachel would help her, and they would be alright. It would take time, but it would be alright. Quinn looks into Rachel's eyes for a few moments, before speaking quietly.
"I missed you, Rachel."
Rachel cocks her head to the side, smiling brightly. "I know." And with a small giggle, she holds her hand out for Quinn and pulls her inside.
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"Quinn, I think we should have a discussion about the various difficulties that come along with coming to terms with your sexuality. I have a pamphlet from Ms. Pillsbury-"
"Raaaachel. Later?" Quinn smiles and tries to look cute, hoping to draw Rachel away from her bookshelf. It works, and soon Rachel finds herself seated next to Quinn on her bed.
"Hi." Rachel is suddenly very aware of how close Quinn is to her. She may still be upset with the blonde, but that didn't seem to halt the physical feelings she had for Quinn.
"Hello." Quinn smiles at Rachel, noticing how awkward the other girl has suddenly become. "Are you alright?"
Rachel nods. "Quinn, I think we need to talk about a lot of things. But first, I need to get this off my chest."
Quinn notices where Rachel's eyes wander when she's talking, and smirks slightly.
"You're attractive and it's distracting." Rachel blurts out, loudly.
Quinn laughs loudly. "What?"
Rachel blushes. "We need to talk about important things, but all I can seem to think about is…is…" Rachel bites her lip and trails off, her eyes darting off to another spot in the room.
Quinn places herhand over Rachel's, waiting until Rachel turns back to her to move. She leans forward ever so slightly, bringing her other hand around to rest on Rachel's knee. "All you can think about is what?" She whispers, deepening her voice and allowing a slight smirk to spread across her lips.
Rachel's eyes haven't left the hand on her knee since it first began to move. With every breath she takes, the hand inches upward, and soon she finds it difficult to breathe at all. When she feels Quinn's breath on her ear, she inhales sharply and holds her breath.
"Rachel? What is it that you're thinking about?" Quinn makes her voice sound innocent, making Rachel shiver slightly.
"I…I um…" Quinn's hand inches up a little higher and it's almost more than Rachel can bear. She whimpers quietly. "Quinn…"
Quinn's hand freezes, and she exhales deeply in Rachel's ear. She reluctantly pulls her hand away and whispers. "Sorry. I didn't mean to…well, I totally meant to…we need to talk first. We have a lot of talking to do."
Rachel stares at Quinn with dark eyes before nodding. "Talking. Lots of talking. I'm still mad. At you. Very upset. Talking."
Quinn laughs loudly, and scoots away from Rachel. She lets the other girl calm her breathing before starting to speak.
"I was scared, Rachel. I'm still scared. But when I'm with you…I feel so safe, and comfortable. It's hard to comprehend."
Rachel nods. "I know. I remember how scary it was. But Quinn…you could've talked to me. When you said those things…and then left…that hurt." She casts her eyes downward, trying not to remember exactly how badly she had felt in those moments.
Quinn turns away, the realization of exactly how badly she had hurt Rachel hitting her full force. Rachel continues.
"I still want to be with you. But we need to talk a lot about expressing our feelings in a way that isn't going to overwhelm or hurt one another. And Quinn…" She meets Quinn's eyes for the first time in the conversation. "I'm willing to not tell everyone…about us…if that's what you want. Not forever, but just until you're ready. I don't want to push you into something you're not comfortable with, but I don't think I can ignore these feelings. I want to be with you, even if I can't share that with the world."
Quinn smiles at Rachel. "I think I'd like to give that a try. Thank you, Rachel. I don't think I could do this without you. And I don't think I'd want to."
Rachel pulls Quinn into a tight hug, unspoken promises sealed with their embrace.
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Sorry this is short. And that it's been a while since my last update. Life is catching up with me in a big starts soon. =/ scary, crazy, madness.
Anyway, I hope you like this, and I'd really love it if you'd leave a review. Feedback really helps me out when writing new chapters.
Thanks. =)