ARTHUR'S FUCKING NOTE: Arguing with the co-author.

I'm on a horse.

GLEE! I woke up my co-author, since we had a sleepover and seriously, like, got high on air somehow and came up with the basis of this story at, like, TWO IN THE MORNING [yeah, took us like three hours to get the basic story line down, and IT'S NOT EVEN RIGHT !], giggling like a fat child in a candy store ['a big tummy is a happy tummy' – BloodieMondei].

Or giggling like Germany when he gets new ropes . . . So, alright, he can go get his shtupid fuckin' rope.

And he'll get his shtupid rope. HE'LL get it.

Cookies for anyone who gets the references?

OH! Disclaimer: If I owned APH, let's just say that it would probably be highly M-rated filled with RoChu and PRUSTRIA. And if I owned Mulan . . . let's face it. I wouldn't be doing this right now, it'd be in the original story. And if I owned anything else that I stole the lines from . . . –coughBoondockSaintswutcough- . . . there would ALSO be gayness. Damn it, I swear those men can melt popsicles. THEY'RE SO FLAAFY.

By the way . . . My line breaks keep disappearing. ): And sorry about the Chinese joke a little further in. Don't worry, we're not racist [only to me for being so GODDAMN WHITE . . . fuck you, co-author. I am NOT clumsy! No I am not! No. Fuck you.]

- - - STORY START, WHAT? - - -

Yao was sure that he was straight. He had always been straight, right?

Right?

RIGHT!

. . . Right?

. . . . . . . . . Right?

Probably not, though, since Yao couldn't help staring at the Captain when they trained. He was just so slim and pretty! His hair was such a pretty color, too. And those eyes . . . those deep, pretty, pur-

Wait, WHAT?

No. Yao wasn't gay. He was straight . . . as a rainbow. Which was completely and totally straight, right? Or better yet, he was as straight as a DOUBLE RAINBOW. Bitch, what now!

And so, as Yao slipped his shoes off, along with other particles of clothing, the man stepped into the sun-warmed lake. He sunk to the surface, hair floating all around his face.

Everything was peaceful and calm, until . . .

SOMEONE CAME UP BEHIND HIM AND FUCKING GRABED HIS HIPS!

Yao ripped out of the grip and brought a fist to the offender's face. Then he heard insane cackling in the background, much rike the pandas when dey found deir prey. But, louder than all of that cackling was the sound of French swear words being thrown around. Yao looked at Francis and glared, muttering a few words of 'brotherly love', aka hateful, spiteful words of doom and doomness, and stalking off to a different place to bathe.

- - - 3 plx - - -

And while he was doing all of this, Alfred the FUCKING TALKING DRAGON was trying to trick their 'note-taker-dude', Roderich, into thinking that he had urgent news from the General. The FUCKING TALKING DRAGON was dressed as a general, a small cricket – who we forgot to introduce earlier, since we forgot that he existed – controlling the mouth. They caught Roderich right as he was exiting the baths, holding a small slipper in his hand.

"Insubordinate ruffians," the Austrian man grumbled [he was actually quite young, only about twenty-one or so!].

"You men owe me a new pair of slippers!" Voice cracking at the last note, Roderich turned to look ahead, "And I do not squeal like a little girl!"

Alfred the FUCKING TALKING DRAGON decided to strike. He forced the large panda he was standing on to move forwards, who ended up just eating the Austrian's slipper.

This caused the man to squeal like a little girl.

"Urgent news from the General!" The FUCKING TALKING DRAGON moved a fake arm forward, which held a small scroll. Roderich gawked at the panda, sad that he lost ANOTHER DAMN SLIPPER.

"What's the matter? You've never seen a black and white before?"

Roderich warily grabbed the scroll, and then peered at the 'soldier'.

"Who are you?"

"Excuse me? I 'think' the question is. 'Who are you?' We're in a WAR man. There's no time for stupid questions. I should have your hat for that. Snatch it right off you head. But, I'm feeling gracious today. So, carry on before I report you." While saying this, Alfred the FUCKING TALKING DRAGON accidentally slapped Roderich on the nose, and started to ride away from the Austrian.

And as soon as he opened up the scroll to read the letter, said FUCKING TALKING DRAGON, panda, and was that a little cricket in the mouth, were headed towards a tree. Before Roderich turned around, the trio was up in the tree.

When Roderich realized that the soldier was gone, he sprinted towards the Captain's office. But, of course, someone had to go and get in his way!

"Hey, Specks, whatcha got there?"

Roderich rubbed his temples in annoyance. He tried to shove his way past the shirt-less Prussian, but he was grabbed by the arm.

"Excuse me, Herr Beilschmidt, would you please release me?" the Austrian asked, with as much of a polite tone that he could muster.

"Aww, Roddy~ Lemme see, please?" Roderich tore himself from Gilbert's grip, holding his towel, his fucking towel, close to his chest.

"No. This is for Captain Braginsky and his eyes only. Now, if you would excuse me . . ." Roderich stormed off towards Captain Braginsky's tent quickly, his glasses slightly askew. Bursting through the tent's opening, the Austrian said only one thing:

"Captain – Urgent news from the General!"

ARTHUR'S FUCKING NOTE 2: In which the author is left without a co-author to edit the story.

FML, guys. BloodieMondei isn't here right now, and so I had to fling this all myself! And thanks to that, there is a small, tiny section of Prustria this chapter!

Alskdjfa;sldkfjas;lkdfj –dies –

THEY'RE ALL SO PURDY!

OMFG. The reviews. The favorites. The alerts.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

As stated above, I woke up said co-author because I was overly excited. When you guys review, I feel like crying jellybeans. When you guys favorite and/or alert, I feel like vomiting skittles. So, Imma reply here. 'Cause some of my favorite authors do that. It makes me feel special to see mah name! 3 3

RE-FUCKING-PLIES:

Guest : Luffles lots! Thanks for replying! 3

Rikkai's Girl : I shall, or the co-author will kill me! xDD Thanks for the rating, too! 5 stars is AMAZING!

Evalynn Nesbitt : Profanity is one of my best friends, I must say~ And thank ya~