"He's got our money, me bucko!"

"No."

"Hmmm. All right, then let me narrow it down a mite. He's got yer money!"

"No." This time, an indifferent shrug accompanied that refusal, followed by a calm statement. "Plenty of other fish in the sea for me to capture. Come to think of it, I might actually run across his friends during my plundering expeditions. Wouldn't that be marvelous?"

As I stood there in the middle of the fascinated crowd clustered around them both and keenly watching and listening to their argument, an exasperated Long John Silver scratched his chin, and then he eyed the dignified figure seated in the chair. Not really thinking it'd work, but willing to try anyway, the man with a peg leg ventured in a jovially menacing tone, "He's got yer money, and also all the swag of those sinful coves right behind ye, with their swords and daggers and whatnot. Mayhap that might change yer mind in declarin' for once and all that grand laddie over there is our beloved monarch, afore ye get accidentally stabbed a couple dozen times in the back?"

Not even bothering to look over his shoulder at the pirates there beginning to finger their weapons, Captain James Hook's only reaction to that trifling threat was to direct a magnificent sneer upwards into Silver's reddening face.

A few steps away, Mistress Joyce rolled her eyes, with this being the only indication at large that she was beginning to become really annoyed. That woman's irritation had further grown over Silver's unsuccessful attempt at intimidation, since that one-legged pirate should have known better anyway. Hook hadn't become a pirate captain commanding the scum of the world's oceans by showing any lack of courage against human opponents. No, that aristocratic mariner had to be persuaded in some other way to go along with every single pirate or wench present in affirming their young visitor as the King of the Pirates, given that their island's by-laws required such a thing to be totally unanimous.

What made it even more frustrating to the leader of the pirate wenches was the fact that if James Hook actually did acquiesce, that would be more than enough to satisfy everyone. Not that it'd make this captain any more trustworthy; given his treacherous nature, Hook would instantly seize upon any loopholes or other excuses to gleefully betray his new ruler. However, unbelievable at it might seem, the man who'd lost his right hand in a duel with a boy who refused to grow up still possessed a somewhat crabbed sense of honor. If he could ever be coaxed into giving his word, he'd keep it. Mostly.

So, the main difficulty was to extract from Hook his assent in the first place. But, how to go about it? It was clear that normal threats wouldn't work, nor would bribery. Appealing to his finer nature was simply absurd, and trying the opposite tack of blackmailing this pirate into going along with everyone was equally ill-advised. That man had the kind of nature where he'd proudly boast about his villainy and wickedness covering his entire life-

She later told me what she'd been thinking about then, but when I saw a nearby Mistress Joyce hastily dipping her head to hide the wide grin that had abruptly blossomed upon her face, I had no idea what was going on. Still, I kept watching, particularly when the older woman leaned over to whisper into the ear of Anya at her side. It got even more interesting when that assistant barely managed to hold back her loud whoop of laughter, to instead give a choking snort of delight, as Anya then surreptitiously headed off to pass onto the other pirate wenches whatever message Mistress Joyce had given her, with virtually all of these other women showing their quickly-concealed glee over what they'd been told.

During all that, their mistress had stepped forward into the argument between Silver and Hook, and as I looked on, the seated pirate captain now snarled at the woman, "What d'ye want, you fickle dame? I'm not to be swayed by candy and flowers! I still can't believe you let us down for mere fripperies, anyway!"

Calmly eyeing the angry man in his chair, Mistress Joyce now played for time until word of her scheme could be passed among all of her followers. In a firm voice, she informed not only Hook, but all of the other listening pirates, "Think what you will, but one of our visitor's friends had an important point to impart to us all, when he first laid out his plan to abscond with your treasure. We weren't convinced that it was wise or even workable in the first place, until a lovely girl helped us make up our minds that we wouldn't interfere. But then, that young woman had been given at birth by her parents the perfect name to shape her character, imbuing Buffy Summers with beauty, wisdom, bravery, and superb shopping skills."

Captain Hook, along with the rest of the pirates, gaped in absolute befuddlement at Mistress Joyce standing there and looking pleased with herself, until that one-handed man managed to choke out, "And what exactly did this…Buffy…have to say that was so important?"

With a wistful smile as she remembered a delightful lass who'd be the pride of any mother, Mistress Joyce then answered, "Buffy convinced us that if she and her companions managed to break into the vaults while her friend was distracting all of you, to then successfully sneak away with their loads of loot, you shouldn't have had the job of guarding our fortunes in any case. Honestly, if your security was that poor in the first place, anybody could've come along and stolen the whole of the treasure, instead of Mr. Xander Harris here, who's willing to give it all back, if you'll just stop being so damned stubborn, James Hook!"

Haughtily drawing himself up in his seat, this obdurate pirate turned his head to present a classical profile to his audience, and then he drawled in the most infuriating manner possible, "Not even if I have to sail into the furthest reaches of Davy Jones' Locker to hunt down my prey and take back what's mine."

At that moment, Anya slipped back into her former position at Mistress Joyce's side, with the older woman seemingly not taking note of this. Instead, the leader of the pirate wenches now gave the suddenly-wary Captain Hook a beaming smile, apparently accepting his decision. Her voice was also cheerful as she spoke her next words, though by the time her ladyship had finished this statement, that woman's good spirits included more than a trace of malevolence in her mood.

"Fine, then. Without any further ado, we'll just devote our entire existence into making your life a living hell."

Before an alarmed man could say anything to break the sudden quiet that had descended over the hushed crowd, Mistress Joyce calmly raised her index finger up in the air at head level, holding it steady, and looking Captain Hook right in the eye, she started chanting in a deadpan monotone: "Tick…tock. Tick...tock."

After that last mantra, the woman brought down her hand in a commanding gesture. As one, every other pirate wench, from Anya to the newest of them all, now opened their own mouths to join in their lady's chant.

"Tick…tock. Tick…tock. Tick…tock. Tick…tock."