Thoughts of her swarmed through his head. This evil disgusting villain told him he only had two hours left. He wished he would have told her how he felt. He almost did a few times, but he knew how she would react. Everyone said they belonged together, and even if she felt the same way, she wouldn't show it. She was to afraid to let anyone in, and he got that, he understood, but it didn't make his life easier.
As he thought back he realized he couldn't remember the last thing he said to her or her to him. He remembered they were talking about something stupid like casual sex. Well to him it wasn't stupid. She got really pissed off when he said casual sex was one of his favorite pass times. He was joking but she still didn't like it. He remembered her storming off. But he didn't remember what the last words he said were.
He hoped the Zorro guy was being truthful about letting the people have the letters. He didn't want the last thing he said to her, even though he doesn't remember exactly what it was, to be something that pissed her off. He wanted her to know how he felt.
After a while of thinking about her he thought about his daughter. Alexis had so much potential. He didn't want her to lose her sense of direction towards the future because of losing him. He wanted her to still strive for greatness. He wanted her to live happily, even though it would be hard without him. He knew his mother would take good care of her. He also knew Kate could help her through the hard times. Like his funeral, his birthday, Christmas.
Then he started to think about their last Christmas. Her mother flew in and they spent it like a big happy family. No arguments, no leaving for a case, it was family time. A time to be spent together, loving each other. He then remembered how he snuck off Christmas Eve to Beckett's place. She wasn't in the Christmas spirit that year so he decided to change her mood. First he made sure Lanie took her out and got her plastered so that she wouldn't wake up. Then he had Ryan and Esposito help him into her apartment. It was a little tough but they got the job done.
They had set up a beautiful Christmas tree with lots of lights and ornaments and candy canes. They all put there presents under the tree and he even made her a stocking. When he got the call from her the next morning he knew he had done good. She said a big thank you and that she didn't know how she would ever repay him for making Christmas special for her. Something it hadn't been in a long time.
Then his thoughts drifted to his mother. He had wrote in her letter how much he loved her and that having her living with him wasn't as bad a thing as he made it out to be. He let her know that even though she thinks she wasn't the best mother, she was. Also how he didn't need his father, how she was enough for him.
Castle sat there, in a bright white room, thinking about all the people he loved, tears running down his face like bullets.
It is a very short chapter but i think its one of the best. Please review. I'd like to know your thoughts on Castle's thoughts.